₦airaland Forum

Mtchew,imagine that silly goal

ochon: .... Sexy boy



... Not so, it's just my instincts that helped me

Happy birthday llnp

onuwaje: I have a family here

@gentlemimi
@maria goretti
@lertee
@atmc
@caseless

Happy new year to u and all nairalanders out there

I wish you a prosperous new year too.thanks

ochon: LMAO . I remember Kslib warning you that I'll put you in my recap but you didn't believe him. Take a look.








.. I've longing to use you as my last recap, and you fell for it . Happy new bruv

You slimy little.............

















Okon .
Now i know why you won that scammer award jeeez OKON,na so ur igbo sense dey calculate reach.

xynerise: Guilty?

Don't worry, God will reshape you this year

**tears slap**
Lmao @reshape

Waxdude and dre11,thanks for the shout out. I wish you the same.

Happy new year pals,do have a wonderful celebration..

Monstertrucks: ah! xynerise, first hour this new year nd yo talking sex. who knows if ur with a stripper there. smh

He can only be with one person,if she wishes to disguise as a stripper to please pa antelope she can go ahead.


@pa antelope,i can imagine how life is with(..)

ochon: Read my diary later on, gharddamit. Chill jor, make I confirm the news wella



They are, I'm a relationship sexpert, we know these things

I can't wait

Nah, my eyes are on you



LMAO .. Thanks



Na you and lertee go follow the instructions alone
In short

On me koo,on me ni...

Kslib: Oh dear, did you follow my instructions?

I did really,i don jonze shey.

tunbebes: .
Tanx Lertee. upload urs nah

U welcome. Ok i will do that shortly

Kslib: No that was me.. I broke the amr file format into two sub-sections.. When you play it for the first time, you'll hear a football commentary.. You have to play it 3 times, the third time, you'll hear my voice..

Sorry for the stress!!

I heard cesc fabregas then like 'what's up everyone' a voice similar to the football commentary.

ochon: Stop bending your neck sweery, it chases suitors away

My day was boring till a call made it nice. Good to know you are back, so I'll be getting my update via your diary soon, no?

Lol,tell me they are related,bent neck and availability of suitors. Talk another thing abeg

Yes,i will write about our traditional wedding rite. Quite funny though.

Whose call? That babe you ve been eying right?

Kslib: Ok!! Lemme lead the way!!

Vn in hausa below!!!

Was that jetlee talking?
Even if we don't speak hausa,we can differentiate it when we hear it. Try another joke

ochon: LMAO... Your boo understands, after all I engineered NJOTEE

How was your day dearie?

Not only engineer na architect..

My day was fine,i got back to my base this evening . How did your day go?

tunbebes: .
Its up

Ok seen babe,pretty you

ochon: LMAO .. Your boo will keel me this night

Lmao,you deserve a slap seriously.
Okon like you

ochon: Hello peasants and peasantesses, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, fellaz and wivez, it's been a wonderful year, filled with mild fights, subtle jabs, hook-ups and breakups, all kinds of zoning, heartbreaks, friendships e.t.c. It's been one helluva ride. So to appreciate y'all, especially King Ochon for protecting the safety of this nook, we at the RELATIONSHIPS SEXPERTS FIRM [/b]will like to announce that we'll be giving a whooping 90% discount to any threadmate that patronizes us.
I know all of y'all might be wondering what we do at [b]RELATIONSHIPS SEXPERTS FIRM(RSF), wondering "what the fúck is RSF?". Well, in RSF, we basically build relationship from the scratch. We mend broken relationship. Even when there's no sign of relationship or no hope of any, our highly recommended, quality, top notch "sexperts" have the supersonic abilities and brains to generate one. Even those that wants to be FWKB(friends with kissing benefits(reinc and SOM) ), FWB(friends with benefits), or wanna improve their "bedmatics" skills, will all be catered for in our firm/institute.. We boast of a 98% successful relationship mended rate(SRMR). Whereas other firms can't you give 30% SRMR. We've been able to hook up jay-z and beyonce, jekyll and ella, tabh and LIPsy, SOM and spade, GEJ and PEJ, obama and michelle, rooney and his wife, coleen and a host of other countless celebrity relationships and dating and marriage.
With us, you don't have to fear the virus of FRIENDZONING. We've sexperts, headed by two of our very best, King Ochon and King Reinc. Many years of getting ochonged, friendzoned, brotherzoned, siggy zoned(reinc ), no-hope-zoned,betrayedzoned both offline and online, have toughened this two Kings up and gave them an indepth knowledge of the disease called REINjection and also how make relationships successful. IyawoTm is also one of our client . Now in the spirit of xmas, we'll give out one lecture for the NO-HOPE-ZONED amongst us like dre11, GOM and dannyxy. Lwkmd. Buwhahahahahaha . To show 'em how to make a girl love you. How to make a SUPERFLAKIE(shy lady), become a LMTM(open up and chat with you)
Now, we've a case study, one of your very own, the EARBROW peasant called Njokusboy. . You see, since this guy's life, he's never crushed before. He flirted and chased gurls up and down like a he-goat on heat, (lwkmd) he never knew what fallen in love with an online character was like. He disbelieved in such theory. To him, it was non-existent, vague. All these changed when a surreal power of love/crush hit our loyal kwasia peasant called nokusboy . He fell for Lertee but the problem is that, this useless peasant didn't how to woo her, to avoid her ochonging him and also after boasting of "I don't crush" . So he came to us, reinc and King Ochon, for help. And like the caring Kings we're, we decided to help his sorry behind.
So we monitored lertee, her behavourial pattern, the she posts and most especially, her likes. Now listen up "NO HOPES"(dre11, GOM, dannyxy and co) , the best way to get into you crush's heart is to know what she likes. Her likes and dislikes, from there, you can have a better chance of breaking her barriers. . E.g, when toyintomato came to meet us, we told him, SOM a.k.a Miss Ogbuefi hates uptight guys, but he didn't listen, instead he was chasing reinc. Lwkmd. Before he could know what is happening, "the has long sailed", meaning SOM had become addicted to psychedelia and my nigga weeped . So armed with our lesson, njokusboy, made the first and BOLD move. Emphasis on "bold". You see, ladies love confident guys, guys that ain't scared to protect them and showcase 'em to the world. That's why lekpalicious chose reinc before ochonging him. Lwkmd . Reinc no vex, but I have to say the truth. . So as I was yarning, njoku made the BOLD move below ↓↓↓↓
The words were so on point that toyintomato began tripping for him. . Lmao
When he made that move, he was doubting the potency of our skills and he wrote
So like a sexpert I am, I told him
but the useless peasant lost hope when lertee replied his epistle with. Just "awwww" and then he complained to lertee, asking if only "awww" is what she can say. Telling her "so you ochonged me". Lwkmd. And attacked me saying
But as an experienced sexpert, I retorted, encouraging him that we never fail to deliver with the below
He then mailed us offline, ranting and raving but King reinc would have none of it and told him
Reinc: sharap there this bloddy peasant. All these peasant around me, I'm a you king.
Ochon: kwasia reinc mumu, advice him jor, you are here shouting peasant this, peasant that.
mtcheeewwww.
Reinc: earbrow, you have to trust us. Our services are well known, it never fails.
So the peasant was now full of confidence and wrote below
Lwkmd. Buwahahahah
So I chipped as with my expertise
And like all ladies that love confident guys, lertee fell dangerously in love with him and confessed and even blew the peasant a kiss
The earbrow lord nearly fall my hand by hyperventilating cos of a kiss, but I forgave him cos I know how love dazes us all
But I had to caution him and tell to be on his toes before he slips up
Now, you see, the problem with all these NO-hope zoned like dre11 is that they ain't versatile. That's why superflakie got tired of "do you have a thing" ish dre11 was usuing to break her shell. Lwkmd. so being an expert in this, I told switch to another hobby of lertee, which is her love for novels. In case you didn't know. Njokusboy have never read all those novels that he was saying. We told him to lie, just to make lertee fall for him. He was like "but she won't forgive me if she finds out" and reinc told him
Reinc: mtcheeeeewww . Useless peasant. Shin shin, you don't know. You don't know shingbain. . Haven't you heard of "if you have never lied to your woman, you don't love her"?.
Ochon: I tire for this earbrow. Don't question us goddamit!!. Do as we commanded, this earbrow peasant .
So the peasant switched to novels and lertee fell for it,, see below
At point, when njoku was breaking her shell, she became shy. Awwww... Now fellaz, when a lady is shy to look you in the eye, it means she's almost fallen, a lil "push" and she's all yours and also give her confidence too like we told Mr earbrow
Awwww. Love nwantiti. *sniffs*.
Now the NO-HOPE zoned, always remember that the LIPsy's will always try to discourage you. The LIPsy's are those that are tripping for a gurl you want but lack the confidence to talk to her, like KsliP . See below
LWKMD. Papa ostrich too wicked
But njoku did fear, cos he's gotten lertee where he wanted her, so he kept up the novel chat even though he has read none of them. Lwkmd
Now as I lectured you guys earlier, don't dwell on one subject, know what the lady wants and use it to break her shell. So when njoku ran outta ideas, he consulted me and reinc and we told "she loves Man Utd", attack her from there, she go go gberekete" and the peasant attacked sharparly. See below
And then King ochon stepped to bless the union and cement the legacy of NJOTEE
So you see, all those OCHONGED and REINJECTEEs, don't fret, patronize KING OCHON AND KING REINC and y'all lives will never remain the same
Mail us @ KingOhcon@peasantreinc.com.
Happy new year in advance E-Fam

That red part got me lmsao...jeeezzzz

tunbebes: Its up Rein

That's not you

[quote author=D-Explorer]That's scary!
Kiss me or you've a nightmare waiting tonight [/quote]I won't sleep

GentleMimi: Sweetheart!!! I dey ooo. But i gotta run! See you in year 2014. I wish u a wonderful and prosperous new yr,a year of joy,peace,favour,blessings and breakthrough! Cheers!

Awww,big hug

larride:

See you guys next year, its been nice knowing each and everyone of you, let's hope that the new year bring better tiding.


Happy New Year in advance.

Nice knowing ya too..

That's nice...but not the typical igbo,hausa or yorubaman's accent..nah that's not sexy

Reincarnated: Oh wait, you guyz thought I knew her for real or what . How don't you know Jourdan Dunn? She's pretty famous

She looks older than 23, i just checked her profile,she was born in 1990..she looks a bit younger in d tattoo pix though. Good luck in your search for her..dreamloverboy

Reincarnated: That's my future wife so take ya time . But, shae you dey feel am ba? Ahhh MY GWDDDDDDD!!! I'm in love!!!! She's a british fashion model so its going to be hard but taaa, I must find a way to know her

Lol..

tunbebes: PLS HOW DO I CHECK PIX AND HOW DO I UPLOAD ONE AND TAKE IT OFF. IM A LEARNER OOO. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

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[quote author=D-Explorer]Your kiss could stop my catarrh now, pls., go ahead [/quote]Yimu

Mimi,caseless,bukato,maria,idowu,castielo,d-gongs,where are you?

tunbebes: sup peepz? bin following dis thread since day1 as a guest. ochon and rein...love ya loadz. u make ma day alwayz. dre and his boo abgift.,som and her boo spade,dannyxy,njokusboi and lertee his boo...tanx u all > gracias.

Hi,your first post since registering though .
Happy new year in advance . Welcome to the family.