₦airaland Forum

emkz:
I regretted mine, not necessarily for what she did but for my inability to follow my instincts about her which could have prevented the calamity. We were not married but things had been done towards that like introduction and trad before kasala burst. I was happy kasala burst before we went farther.

For anyone who wants to get married, by all means do so...but marry for the right reasons. You first need to understand yourself and your own limitations. If your aim is to have children, perhaps a contractual arrangement suffices. Unfortunately, many marriages today are not different from service contracts: I will provide shelter, food and security while you provide pussy when I want it and how I want it, and you must not provide it to someone else. Or I am marrying you because society expects and would respect me to be married as it shows I am responsible.

The Dutch Prime Minister is single.

Or I'd marry you only because I love you. These are wrong reasons to be married. For a potential spouse, look at compatibility, companionship, communication, character and charisma. Exude these qualities yourself and you shall find it in your potential partner. Love will fade, the butterflies in your stomach shall die, your partner shall irritate you, what then would hold your marriage?

The stories of wayward men and women are told everyday on this forum. Don't let them deter you. There are very good men and women from very good homes who are responsible to be wifed or husbanded. I know this because all my sisters have been married for years and no one has come to report that they have issues with them.

Don't go looking for a wife. Develop yourself and have the values of someone husbandable, creation will link you to your spouse.

In closing, my question to you is:

Why exactly do you want to get married? Are you truly convinced of the answer you give yourself?

I like this response and the last question asked.
There are good women out there like you, thinking and reasoning same thoughts as you are right now.
Continue to develop yourself to someone husbandable.
Accept that the way you want someone's daughter to change to what you want, she also wants you to change to what she wants.
Finally, Love is not a feeling, feelings only give love expression. LOVE IS A CHOICE. When you finally choose, convince yourself everyday you made the right choice and stick to it with full expression. That is Love.