₦airaland Forum

So happy for Nairaland forum cause of this. Please if you are invited for any Job opportunity, kindly do a Nairaland search for it. To think I was even happy for this phucked up GNLD invite.....they rebranded it to graduate operations associate...BS.

Mail deleted. Thanks guys.

Pls Pls pls...anyone with practice test questions for the KPMG test should send to me. I'm really terrible at math. So it would be of immense help to have a head up.

Mail is

Loshastings@gmail.com

[quote author=djeezy post=57164236][/quote]I need it too chief. loshastings@gmail.com

coco-ice was senseless for swapping EFE, but EFE's only playing the game by stealing HOH crown....NaijaLogic

Sentiments before anything else

ayobase:
So, the single character miyonse exhibits is also staged by biggie abi?

We all need to bring in surprises if we all wanna enjoy the house within next week.

Firstly, if miyonse is retained to discovering tboss nominated him.

Secondly, if Efe is evicted, then people like Bisola, Bally and Tony will be forced to change their game cos they believe they think they have been impressing fans.

They are all fake, but I'm so much reserved with miyonse personality for being real.

Everyone is only beefing miyonse cos e no gree fvck tboss, and which aint a must.

So far, I have not seen him plotting against another in the house as some do.

Tony wey dey form "I'm here for the babes and to catch fun" is married with 2 kids, but nobody in the house knows, and he didn't mention it despite with his gone nude emotional campaign.

I will like us to shock the HMs who voted miyonse for eviction - that's the game guys.

Miyonse is a caring buddy. He is here to play the game of 25m, but not at the detriment of breaking anybody's heart as he is being careful with tboss who has been a victim of abuse.

seriously if you're a guy, u need 2 good cold bottles of Beer.....This is my view of an interesting game in a nutshell....More cheese to ur burger if you are a babe....Too much sense in one post

Even if he isn't a Fav of mine, Efe is a strong character to compete with. Wish it was Gifty. wish Coco-ice didn't swap......MIYONCE woulda been voted in for sure #BBNaija

buh Miyonse will get more votes than Soma for sure.

sms "Vote miyonse" to 32052....ive done that. you shuld too. shun sentiments. boy brings drama

pls vote correctly
it's MIYONSE not miyonCe
sms "vote Miyonse" to 32052 now!!!!!

pls what reason did T-boss give for that nomination stunt....what a savage

just Voted Miyonce.....Do what you feel like people....No one pays your subscription fee....

yall that are saying save SOMA and EFE, I thought it's two housemates that are leaving?

if it's two, I'm definitely sure EFE ll be one of them. Nigerians only shout on social media before and after voting.

Argue with Lil kesh and Goodluck Jonathan

T-boss is obviously hooked on Miyonce. wants him out so she can concentrate proper on the game. no rocket science. A bold move but ultimately Savage #SaveMiyonce

coolestchris2:
Coconut was giving task to finish gifty...
So she shared the task to bisola and soma

she picked soma and bisola herself? or Biggie told her who to share it with? cuz her kind brain gel well for there....the typical coco-ice woulda mumu-ishly picked bally and T-boss....dunno why she's HOH sef, need her out

please I'm not watching ATM, but how many people s task is to make gifty pissed, angry or annoyed....seems they are too many now. from the thread it seems it was soma, bisola, coco-ice and debby.....na only she biggie see...Ayam not understanding

to think that "miyonce" reps lagos....i like him, buh he needs to know that he needs to make the definitive move. Tboss is smitten already. he needs to forget he's on Tv....kissing Tboss would seal his votes for next two weeks...lol

why is bally overconfident like that.....he's just as quiet as coco-ice. it's just that coco-ice can't speak english/express herself.....if bally continues to be "un-dramatic" or bring nothing spontaneous to the table....pple in coming weeks would get tired of him...needs to up his game/strategy.

please, I don't get why T-boss says miyonce is annoying her? what happened.......i like em" together.....feel it will still happen between them

Odirahc:
. You're such a good writer. I enjoyed your article most especially your sense of humor and comic relief, I'm a PCM

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the encouragement too. Find my other articles, stories and whatnots on www.lettersfromcolossus..com

DaniDani:
Wooooow. you are such a creative writer. your pattern of writing is fantastic like "Nigeria is fantastically corrupt "

if you classify "fantastically" as the highest form of Nigerian cataclysm,I'm afraid you do an incomplete analysis. We are celestially corrupt. LOL. Thanks for the encouragement.

You’ve probably read a lot of thrills and feels about the NYSC orientation camp online- Except, of course, you exclusively subscribe to just whatsapp data plans, because I doubt if any publisher will devote a paperback to those sort of things.

 So, back to the story. The experiences you read about, and sometimes hear of ( mostly from those who are still jobless after the scheme) makes you wonder how such a time would be for you. So many young people in a regimented  “Camp”, thrilling social nights, screaming soldiers- I mean, there’s no better way of escaping the crazy everyday Nigerian realities. Well, this excludes the politicians obviously. Realities and Nigerian politicians is like snow and Africa, for those who don't get humor.

Moving on. You are bluntly excited about the experience, and you stealthily daydream about it, even if you do tell your friends you would have just preferred the darn discharge certificate, and that NYSC is a bloody waste of time, or productive man-hours ( if you know your vocabulary well).This is normal.

However, for most of you who are overtly excited; just as those Nigerians who had dollar accounts were, when the Naira “fell”. Well, we sadly want to tell you that you’ve heard as much truths and myths alike , and we have decided to selflessly debunk the myths, because we care. Like NFCS. Well they say»

1. CAMP MEALS ARE VERY BAD
More often than not , most articles you’ve read told you to stock up cash for camp, because the meals are horrificly poor, tasteless and any one other type of easy adjective they can conjure up.

THE REALITY: Ok, agreed, Camp meals don’t actually best the meals you’d eat at tantalizers and any other fast food you’ve not really been to, but the meals are just as ok as an average home-cooked meal.

"Average" here means meals that are not cooked at Christmas, or sallah, or any other special day that atheists choose as theirs. Shockingly too, 90% of PCM’S (please google this if you are not sure of what it means  hint: it’s not premium motor spirit) don’t miss these meals in camp, except for the occasional meal preferences, which we still totally have at our homes. We know you love your mum, and you’d raise the world for her, but is it every meal in your house that best those you get at the mall?

2. Mammy market sellers make a lot of profit
I just figured some of you might not know what “ mammy market” is. Oh well; cheer up, you are not google. You cant know every thing.
Well, mammy market is a mini market, usually attached to military, or paramilitary camps, and at the NYSC mammy market; practically, everything is on sale from helping you mend your shoes, to literally helping you  wash your under wears. Anything and everything- except hookers though, and porn too. oh! and explosives, and all other insane commodities your thoughts just drifted to.

Though, back to the crux of the issue. These mammy market sellers do charge a lot of money on the simplest of services, and inflate anything you probably forgot to bring from home, and accordingly, like Nigerian consumers that possess no chill whatsoever, most PCM’S are bitter towards them, and usually rain abuses on their fore-fathers for extorting them.

THE REALITY : Well, it turns out they have little choice in the matter, as camp officers charge them almost equivalent to a year’s rent, for just a three week event. The rent for selling spots are almost ridiculous, that the sellers channel  their economic anger on the PCM’S. For a moment, just sit back and imagine that the rent charged was not so much, won't it be a vice versa case.
QUICK QUESTION;  Are the rent charges remitted to government? T.S.A is real. President Buhari, please read this.

3. CAMP OFFICIALS ARE MORE FRIENDLY THAN THE SOLDIERS
Yes, relax, some soldiers are really mean. I am very aware of that. A little more than you. That's why I avoid them altogether.
Naturally, the first picture that usually comes to mind when you picture NYSC camp, is how incensed soldiers chase graduates all around, reminding you of that police-catch-thief game you played during your childhood.

Nope. pictures may not tell the whole story, except you are called olajumoke.

THE REALITY: more often than not, some soldiers have funny and doting sides. These character may vary with other really weird idiosyncrasies though. The soldiers do push corpers and stretch them, but most times, they still laugh, joke around, and create a lively and whole atmosphere that really fill the whole camp memories you'd probably have.
Many memes and jokes about camp are usually about the soldiers. NOT CAMP OFFICIALS. Most of the camp officials are very perfunctionary and don’t bring any "life" at all to the table. Many are also engaged in a never ending quest to remind corp members that they are “graduates too” or “were once corpers”. No body has ever or would ever argue this. Some, annoyingly have a begrudged low self esteem, and impose themselves on very meaningless things in camp.
Of course, some of them are lovely people. very convivial. but just like the soldiers, there are different varieties of characters and one thing's for sure. They will NOT be your knight in shining armor in camp.

4.Sexual romps in camps are ubiquitous 
So you just checked the meaning of ubiquitous or romps on your mobile dictionary. Well it doesn't prove beyond all reasonable doubt that your school "helped" you in your WAEC English examination. No. Not yet.
 Back to romps. There's almost no article about camp life that wouldn't mention a very dramatic sexual experience. Yes! You are correct. Some of them may even sound better than Nollywood. The old Nollywood. Not the awesome re-branded industry now. Ok! So the love (romp) story will usually culminate on how both parties never saw each other again. Jeez. "Both parties" yes. There's absolutely no three-some in camp. Jeez. Imagine the sorts of thoughts that cloud your mind.
Back to romps again. Anyhow, some of the stories will end up telling you of how the romps and romance led to marital bliss.
 The Reality: Well i'm sorry to burst the bubble on this. I truly am. See. You may never see, hear or experience any of such. Why? Because you my friend, are probably too lily-livered to risk decamping for a 7 minute affair?. (16 minutes? Dude it's not a contest). Decamping may be the next myth. No, don't check. It's not. Decamping is as real as when you're debited by your bank when the darn ATM (yes! Saying "ATM machine" is wrong) refused to pay.
 So most Nigerians are good inventors. No. Not of machines or robots, but of modern folk tales, which they solemnly fail to classify as such. They hear of one particular experience- the odd ball- and edit the story to various tastes which spreads haywire. All I'm saying is sexual romps do happen but rarely. Truth is even those that tell there's usually not the other party around to corroborate the story. Please don't check corroborate. Defend your WAEC or BSc honorably.

5. There's a glut of tears during P.O.P
Finally, there's also the conception that on the final day of camp, during the passing out parade, there's usually overflow of uncontrolled feelings, shedding of tears and you know, the normal narrative that involves the breaking of unmendable hearts.

The Reality : OK frankly, this is the rarest and I'm still doubting if people feel it happens. Well, people do cry, but it's usually those that got a really terrible area or PPA and those whose PPA "runs" crashed, and they usually cry so internally that you may be tempted to help them let it all out. I'm playing way too much ain't I?
But really, there are what we call mobile phones and of course social media. If you happened to hookup with your soul mate and you are posted to different areas in the SAME STATE wouldn't two of you find how to work things out rather than crying like he's going on those famed Nollywood evil forest quest. If "Oracle" or "Ebube" flashed through your mind now just know you're supposed to be married at my time of writing this.

Enjoyed this? Well find less than this same amount of time to read my other "expository" articles on the #KhakiChronicles series like
-5 Real steps to getting a good PPA

Follow me on
Twitter @goggleiz
IG @Los_themaverick
Facebook : No, don't send me a friend request
Skype me ; on my new Android phone when I actually break up with Blackberry or
You could just come to my PPA and follow me home,If you're so much into the follow thingy.

hey...please add this number +234 806 767 4719 Asap. thanks... .." plateauKopa"

enemercy01:
please anyone going to Ogun from Kaduna?

you could find one in the group, have u dropped your number? cuz the group comprises peeps from FB, other watsapp groups, twitter and NL too

Top of the morning to my fellow Ogun bound A16....Congrats again....pls let's keep dropping the numbers...or you could add 0805 848 9318, ND request to be added to the group....#GatewayCorpers #LetsGo

Hey, I'm Izu Chris Okafor....Uniben gradg...so I'm bound for the gateway state : Ogun......let's meet and drop our numbers here....leggo.

NL nysc thread is hot and moving fast, facebook nysc group too, the watsapp own I'm in is all hot and busy ....Heat everywhere; on land, online, .......Hope some orientation camps have A/c cuz I can't stay anywhere without A/c this period

Phinity318:
Dis thread has lost its focus; all I read atimes in here is either some1 is talking about his e-wife or e-daughter,seriously this thread needs to go back to the reason it was created for .

lol.....its same everywhere, I'm on 2 watsapp groups and 2 facebook groups (all nysc)...it's just a means of killing time before call-up-letters arrive.....in NL I just watch and observe....hehe

Qutyjoice:
This is not true at all, you can't pay anything during registration except if you need to do photocopy of your documents. The money you are to take along is your transport fare(lol) if only it's necessary and cool cash to eat from maami market if you are not interested in dere food. By d way you are to collect transport fare and your first alawee dere. Thank me later! winks

Thanks. Really nice info and I wanna just ask for confirmation. errrm are u serving? or have you served as u are very sure of the "non payment thing". I personally heard that registration for some "training" exercises and "IT courses" could or do take place in camp. I might be wrong. are u sure is the question I'm tryna ask?

justified19:
Camp Items
1 Documents and Photocopies
2 Call-up letter
3 Statement of Result/transcript
4 First degree certificates
5 School ID card
6 Passport photographs
Comments
You won't be allowed into camp premises
without any of them. Go there with about 10
passports & 5 document photocopies each
Toiletries
Essentials
7 Toothbrush & Toothpaste
8 Bath soap & Sponge
9 Detergent & Bar Soap
10 Toilet Paper
11 Towel
Others
12 Sanitary Pads & Tampons
13 Shower Caps
14 Bleach
15 Disinfectants
16 Buckets & Bailer
17 Body Cream & Lotion
Its ok to buy buckets and non-essentials at the
camp.
Clothing Items
18 White T-shirts
19 White Shorts
20 Whites tennis shoes
21 White socks
22 Underwear
23 Bed sheets
24 Perfumes/ body spray
25 Rubber slippers/flip flops
26 Combs and hair needs
27 Makeup & accessories
* You will be provided with 2 pairs of white T-
shirts and shorts in camp but you can take up to
2 pairs along.
* Colored panties will be too conspicuous under
the white tops and bottoms.
* You can take a 2 - 3 sets of casual wears/mufti
for Sunday and camp fire night.
* 1 pair of shoe and socks is okay. It is good to
have a white rubber shoe that is easy to clean
(sold at camp also)
Other Recommended Items
28 Torch lights
29 Mosquito nets/mosquito repellant
30 Food flasks, cups, drinking flasks & cutlery
31 Cloth hangers
32 Wrist watch
33 Padlocks and keys
34 Waist pouch
35 Handkerchiefs/face towels/Kleenex
36 Pegs/clips
37 Get a cheap watch. Every one uses a waist
purse. Its your camp bestie. Most of these items
can be easily bought in the camp so don't worry.
If you cant get them before travelling.
Optional First Aid Items
38 Methylated spirits/ rubbing alcohol
39 Band aids/plasters
40 Robb
41 Bandages
42 Cotton wool
43 Anti-purging pills (flagyl, tetracycline etc.)
44 Anti-malaria pills
45 Inhaler (for those who are asthmatic)
These aren't necessary except you have
something to treat or known allergies
Miscellaneous
46 Camera & batteries
47 Writing pads and stationary
48 Novels/Books
49 Pillow
50 Games
51 Mp3/ iPod
52 Eye pads for sleeping & ear plugs
53 Surge protectors / extensions
54 Glue sticks & stapler
If you have an internet-enabled camera phone,
do take it along. Camp life can be very boring
without one. You will like to take pictures and
share with your friends. You only need to be very
vigilant and protective of your things. If you feel
you need a bulletproof vest or helmet, please
carry it. You know what we mean, don't you?
55. MONEY, MONEY, AND MORE MONEY.
* Never, ever, ever run out of it. Bring as much
as you can afford.
* Mirrors and forks are known to be contraband
items in camp
* Prices of items apart from fast consumer
goods (Credit, Gala, Indomie etc) are usually
higher than those outside so it is advisable you
buy the things you can before going into camp.


******
no vex say I waste space o,na copy and past I do.

Thanks, but what I was tilting to was to the aspect of "payments"! I heard there are some registration fees that someone could pay for, hence I stress the "need" so I can decipher between money I need and the spare....thanks again