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Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 9:35pm On Feb 04, 2015

Chillisauce:
Oya o. Amibo reporting.

ex Girlfriend a slut.

Fiance... A saint.

People learn from mistakes... Don't they?

If a girl dates a total BAD GUY at a young age, does that mean she's going to marry a bad guy as well? Teen girls generally fancy bad guys but they end up with guy guys usually.

We experience, we learn.

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 9:31pm On Feb 04, 2015

Stillfire:
You are a virgin, and it's a baby father you want to end up with?
You can do 100 times better than a baby father.
Baby mama trouble is not beans.

Baby fathers should marry baby mamas.

I know. But he's what I want... Like a soulmate, like the dream guy. sad

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 9:28pm On Feb 04, 2015

aisha2:
Drug dealer ke? Where you see that one?

When he was really young, there was a time he sold cannabis. But that was way before he had the child.

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 9:26pm On Feb 04, 2015

aisha2:
You can never love that child because you will always see her as a seed of " deceit ". The one who rubbed you of the opportunity to have his first child.

Love cannot walk side by side with so much hate

That's right. I love the child though. When I see the child, none of these come to my mind. She's lovely. And a different person.

But I wonder;

How would you exactly see the situation instead? Would you ever feel a little bit bad or sad about not having the opportunity of having his first child?

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 9:20pm On Feb 04, 2015

cococandy:
Ok sorry about the oversight.

Are a virgin still? I bet you're sleeping with the dude while condemning another woman who's sin is equal to yours in the eyes of God.

Ngwanu madam virtuous woman Pls stay away from that kid before you do something drastic out of the hate you have for the slutty mom who cheated on and decieved your darling man.

She must have been the devil while your man was the angel all through their relationship.

Yes, I'm a virgin.

3 Likes

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 9:17pm On Feb 04, 2015

babygirlfl:
You keep judging and calling his ex a slut but you don't want to be judged yourself.

Because she caused harm to him by getting pregnant when he wanted to split up.

And then she caused another harm to him by cheating on him with another man, after the baby was born.

Then, yet another harm to him, by trying to keep the child away from him, so much that he had to go to court.

So ---> Here, a person who keeps causing harm and doing one after the other. WHY should one respect that?

---

Whereas I only wrote some THOUGHTS (not actions) and to make them right, and NOT CAUSE ANY HARM. So, WHY are you judging me for that?

---

I think the difference is obvious. I don't know why you can't understand?

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 9:12pm On Feb 04, 2015

babyosisi:
Have you heard her side of the story?
No
So park it right there
This man you are huffing and puffing over hasn't even married you yet.
If you meant as much as you thought he will be your husband not husband to be.

Husband to be means "He will be my husband" anyway. It's the same thing. I already stated he proposed to me.

Her side of the story might be different. About cheating on him. Let's suppose it's the claim of the man. Yet, I observed her behaviors making it always difficult for him to see the child, even when the child is crying for dad, and I know he went to court for that; so about her acting immoral regarding showing the kid to the father, I don't need to listen to her story; as the truth is obvious.

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 9:07pm On Feb 04, 2015

carefreewannabe:
And what makes you think that you deserve more respect when you see kids as your rivals?

Because I noticed that that thought is not right, and wrote it here with sincere honesty, in hopes of fixing it [/b]with your (comment writers) help.

"Help"

Not judgement or condemnation.

In my opinion, ANYONE, who realizes their fault (even if it's just [b]a thought- and not action! Because I have lovely relations with his kid), and seeks help to fix it, deserves respect.

3 Likes 1 Share

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 9:01pm On Feb 04, 2015

Ewuro4:
LostMermaid.. Please be nice to that girl. Please .

I am always nice her. Actually I like her. And she likes me back. We play lots of games together and all. And I buy her lots of presents, she then loves. My problem with his ex and even with him, if I have any, has got nothing to do with her. She's a different person. And I would never hurt a child.

1 Like

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 8:56pm On Feb 04, 2015

babygirlfl:
Lostmermaid

It is very wrong to call his ex a slut.

Some women can deal with men with baggage while some can't. You are not a bad person if you can't deal with a man with baggage but you will be a bad person if you marry him fully aware that he is a man with baggage and then treat his daughter badly. Please think carefully about this. I have heard of women who married men with baggage and seem happy today but I have also seen many who are happy and even more women who thought they could cope but later realised it was not exactly what they thought. You have to either walk away or fully accept her as your child if you go on to marry her dad.

She cheated on him when they were living together. Then, started living with that other man she cheated on with, and, started keeping the kid away from my future husband, now that she's found 'a better dad for the child'. That's what makes me call her a slut. Because I think people who cheat on their partners, and then who torture them by not showing their kid, shouldn't deserve much respect, should they?

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 8:52pm On Feb 04, 2015

cococandy:
I don't care if you leave or stay. I just hate it that you can open your mouth and call your fellow woman a slut.
For what na?
She got pregnant out of wedlock same as you and you're better than her because?

Reminds me of one stupid Facebook girl that's always disturbing us with videos of how to be a lady, always using dirty names like bytch,hoe and slutts on other women but she is a single mother too with a child born out of wedlock

Where do some you ladies get off to feeling that you're better than other?
It annoys me seriously.

As for you, leaving or staying is your prerogative. I don't like baggage either so I get where you're coming from.I've rejected a marriage proposal too because the man had twins from another girl.
Me don't like long complicated stories.

Where did you make up i'm pregnant from? I'm not pregnant or anything. He wants to marry me. And he wants to have a child (or two) with me. So it's a PLAN. Nothing to do with what his ex did; nothing to do with saying she's on birth control to a man(who wants to split up!!), and then tricking him into pregnancy and then claiming not understanding that pregnancy until 4th month.

Secondly, to me, cheating on a man doesn't make a woman very moral. And as far as I know this is the same all over the world. This woman cheated on my future husband, and she is still together with that man. She was sending that man love messages when she was living together with my future husband and their child. This is why she is slutty.

I never cheated on anyone. And never tricked anyone!

I hope you haven't either!

So you won't go ahead and act like the lawyer of a 'slut' who cheated on the father of her child, and then tried to keep that child away from him, causing him so much pain.

2 Likes

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 7:28pm On Feb 04, 2015

babyosisi:
I hope this man wakes up from his deep slumber very soon and runs far away from you
What an evil woman,insecure and scared of a 4 year old child
You haven't even married the man yet and you are already plotting evil of his child
Don't deny it
It is all over your post
She tricked him into having a baby and you didn't?
He is not married to you remember
Your child will soon be in the position of that other child
This poor man won't be asleep too long
Baba God please save this man from making the worst mistake of his life, do it for the sake of this innocent 4 year old child
Amen

He proposed to me. We want to get married. He WANTS TO have a child(even two) with me. So we are PLANNING it. I'm not pregnant. I didn't trick him with anything.

I called his ex a slut because she CHEATED (and also tricked) AND didn't want to show his kid to him. I didn't doany of these. Don't judge so quick.

5 Likes

Family › Re: Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 12:55am On Feb 04, 2015

carefreewannabe:
I read the first two paragraphs and stopped because it is enough for me to know that you should not get married to this man, in fact, you should not get married at all. You are jealous of a child and it shows how immature you are. You have no business getting married.

A father's love does not depend on the love for his mother. If it did, all divorced men would stop loving their kids or love them less.

You remind me of the kind of women who abuse kids. Extremely irritating thread.

I met the child, been with her several times, she even called me mummy, I get along well with her.

Haven't you ever had some thoughts crossing your mind that you know are not right? Ever wondered why I wrote them all with honesty? To get advice that can help me get them fixed. Don't be so harsh. A true cruel stepmom doesn't even write those things here.

4 Likes

Romance › Re: Dream Man With A Child With His Ex- Whom Does He Love More? by LostMermaid(op): 12:30am On Feb 04, 2015

tpiah11:
if you did not consider slutty insulting in your op, why is it insulting now?

the fact is, the guy has a type, which is slutty.

If you were not slutty, he wouldn't be dating you.

should be obvious imo.

What makes you think if you have one gf that turns out to be slutty, you will always and always have slutty gf's for the rest of your life?

Most girls like bad boys in teen ages; that doesn't mean they also marry one.

I'm a lady. I'm not slutty. I never tricked and never cheated. She's slutty because she cheated on him, and also kept flirting with men she had slept before him. He wanted to leave her, but was stuck cause she got pregnant.

Now I need you need to fix your way of thinking; assuming if you date someone they turn out to be bad; it will always be the same. Just the opposite, you learn your lesson; and find a much better person next time. "Once burned, twice shy".

Also fix your manners. You don't know me. You can't call me slutty. Me calling a woman who "cheated on" the father of her child, "slutty", is certainly not an excuse for you to be disrespectful to me.

Romance › Re: Dream Man With A Child With His Ex- Whom Does He Love More? by LostMermaid(op): 9:42pm On Feb 03, 2015

Enegod:
https://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/smoke/t3017.gif

Oh... Can you pass me a cigarette as well?

So is that a hopeless case? cry

Romance › Re: Dream Man With A Child With His Ex- Whom Does He Love More? by LostMermaid(op): 9:40pm On Feb 03, 2015

tpiah11:
If his ex is slutty, then so are you.

Shows he likes slutty types.

Why? Because slutty is something like eye color and you can definately detect on the first date?

I explained why she is slutty. She tricked and she cheated.

No need to make an insulting comment. Watch your tongue.

Romance › Re: Dream Man With A Child With His Ex- Whom Does He Love More? by LostMermaid(op): 9:20pm On Feb 03, 2015

buygala:
this your dream get k-leg o

abeg sleep so that you go dream another one

if you continue with this yeye 'dream-man', he and him baby mama and dem pikin fit collabo use you for money rishual

why do you think so?

Romance › Dream Man With A Child With His Ex- Whom Does He Love More? by LostMermaid(op): 8:42pm On Feb 03, 2015

1. I have this view... If I marry this man, and have a child with him... Maybe I should get it out of my head but I can't help it: I think; since he loves me so much and wants to spend rest of his life with me, since I'm the woman he's in love with; then if he makes a child with me, he should love that child more. More than the one he made with a slutty ex by accident, who is still behaving in an evil way. (additional info: she tricked him and got pregnant on purpose, and after 1.5-2 years cheated)

What do you think about this? Do you think men love their children more if those children are made with a woman they're in love with? Do you think I'm right in wishing for such a thing?

Because I have always thought having a child with the one you love is one of the most beautiful and special things in life. And those children are fruits of love, and they are lovelier and more loving people themselves....

I like that little child, but sometimes I find myself resentful that he loves the child of such a slut so much. And then I think; if he's gonna love my child at the same level; then what's special about it...What's special about having a child with the one you love and all? embarassed

*****

2. I also think, his child with his ex ( 4 now) might influence the children I will have with him in a bad way, if she came living with us. Sometimes I think it might be nice... but sometimes I think she will be an outsider, kind of like a secret agent; not exactly from the family; representing a slutty mother, and maybe sometimes reminding her, or defending her. Kind of like a dark cloud above the happiness of the family. Keeping us from behaving comfortably, or keeping us from just being the family; like for example preventing me from telling my children how I met the love of my life, their father, my future husband, because she might get jealous or something. Lots of things like that.... What do you think about this? huh

My man said she might put her mother's picture in her own room when she comes living with us, or even a picture of the mother and my man and the child together (as a family!!?!!!) and he said as much as he wouldn't like this, he should be and also I should be ok with this... undecided

3. Sometimes it's also bothering me that she has a part of him... That way she made herself "forever" remaining in his life, that way or the other. In a way, she still has power over him. As if, he, in a way, partially belongs to her. Despite him saying he hates her badly and everything and they don't even have a proper friendly conversation. He is the father of her child. And he's crazy about her (his) child! There's no stronger bond than that! cry

Family › Having A Child With Future Husband who already has one -Whom does he love more? by LostMermaid(op): 8:22pm On Feb 03, 2015*

1. I have this view... Maybe I should get it out of my head but I can't help it: I think; since he loves me so much and wants to spend rest of his life with me, since I'm the woman he's in love with; then if he makes a child with me, he should love that child more. More than the one he made with a slutty ex by accident, who is still behaving in an evil way. (additional info: she tricked him and got pregnant on purpose, and after 1.5-2 years cheated on him)

What do you think about this? Do you think men love their children more if those children are made with a woman they're in love with? Do you think I'm right in wishing for such a thing?

Because I have always thought having a child with the one you love is one of the most beautiful and special things in life. And those children are fruits of love, and they are lovelier and more loving people themselves....

I like that little child, but sometimes I find myself resentful that he loves the child of such a slut so much. And then I think; if he's gonna love my child at the same level; then what's special about it...What's special about having a child with the one you love and all? embarassed

*****

2. I also think, his child with his ex ( 4 now) might influence the children I will have with him in a bad way, if she came living with us. Sometimes I think it might be nice... but sometimes I think she will be an outsider, kind of like a secret agent; not exactly from the family; representing her mother, and maybe sometimes reminding her, or defending her. Kind of like a dark cloud above the happiness of the family. Keeping us from behaving comfortably, or keeping us from just being the family; like for example preventing me from telling my children how I met the love of my life, their father, my future husband, because she might get jealous or something. Lots of things like that.... What do you think about this? huh

Then, I love him so much and he's exactly what I'm looking for.... And we have a beautiful, lovely, romantic relationship and we get on well, have similar views in life and similar mindset, talk about anything and everything for hours, value each other deeply....

And then I find myself upset and. And I need advice on these bothering issues!

Can I silence these thoughts?

SHOULD I RISK?

SHOULD I LEAVE?

NOTE AFTER SOME COMMENTS: I wasn't there when things happened between them; so I won't refer to his ex in a bad way anymore.

NOTE 2: I NEVER EVER MISTREATED THE CHILD. WHEN I SEE THE CHILD I DON'T THINK ANY OF THESE. THE CHILD IS A DIFFERENT PERSON. THESE THOUGHTS DON'T AFFECT WHAT I DO OR HOW I TREAT THE CHILD.

NOTE 3: I'D LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO APPROACHED WITH UNDERSTANDING AND PROVIDED BETTER PERSPECTIVES, AND HELPED ME SEE IT IN A BETTER WAY, AND FEEL MORE RELIEVED ABOUT IT. BLESS THEM.

1 Like

Romance › Re: Dating/marrying An Amazing Guy Who Has A Daughter -&baby Mama Drama Included! by LostMermaid(op): 10:00am On Oct 11, 2014

TheCongo:
Good luck

Thank you

Romance › Re: Dating/marrying An Amazing Guy Who Has A Daughter -&baby Mama Drama Included! by LostMermaid(op): 10:43pm On Oct 10, 2014

Update:

When he went to where his ex and his daughter lives; he kept calling and messaging me; sent me pictures of that city, a video etc. and in the evening he called on skype to show his daughter and i met her on skype then she was jumping moving all around and so cute. Later, he spent some more time with her and messaged me again before sleep, was so nice and sweet. <3

I get a feeling this can work...

Romance › Re: 9 Reasons Why You Shouldnt Think About Dating A Fat Girl by LostMermaid: 4:38pm On Oct 06, 2014

REASON TO DATE A FAT GIRL:

You can make her go on a diet, by making her falling crazily in love with you that she no longer thinks about cakes; but thinks of you instead!!

So you serve a holy mission to reduce the weight of the overweight in the society and increase the health of them!!

Congrats!!!

Romance › Re: Dating/marrying An Amazing Guy Who Has A Daughter -&baby Mama Drama Included! by LostMermaid(op): 10:09am On Oct 06, 2014

princetunex:
Twice in my life av I given sincere n unbiased piece of advice to my friends nd they later took me to be dr enemy. Both relationships didn't last beyond a semester nd thank goodness they were just school mates. It's a lesson learnt though.

Oh... I see. Yes, some people react badly.

Romance › Re: Dating/marrying An Amazing Guy Who Has A Daughter -&baby Mama Drama Included! by LostMermaid(op): 9:37pm On Oct 05, 2014

princetunex:
Okay then. Just follow your instincts. Because from wat I av learnt in my short life, it's hard n dangerous to advise someone in love concerning issues surrounding dr date. if it wasn't online trust me, I'd keep mum.

So for u, it's natural dt u re going to keep trying to see reasons to stick to him. Above all, it's you dat matters.

thank you

but what do you mean "if it wasn't online i'd keep mum"?

Romance › Re: Dating/marrying An Amazing Guy Who Has A Daughter -&baby Mama Drama Included! by LostMermaid(op): 9:07pm On Oct 05, 2014

princetunex:
Good for u. You said he did drugs nd he's changed nw... you mean d ex had no issue wt dt? The ball is in ur court nw.. if you think you both still av a future den stick to him.

i don't know if his ex had an issue with that or not... I don't know if the problems were arising because he was on drugs or not. But I just know that he told me; he did it before; he isn't doin it anymore; he wanted to change so he could see his daughter more often. He got also enrolled in the univ. to get a high paid job he's in second year now. I'm not sure, if that means I should give him a chance or not though...

Romance › Re: Try Everything B4 Getting Married Or Take The Chance Andget Married As A Virgin? by LostMermaid: 9:00pm On Oct 05, 2014

I don't. You don't have to "try everything" to remain faithful during a marriage. It's about the love and respect you have for that person and morals.

I think it's ok if you have sex before marriage; but not in a sense of "trying everything"; and it's ok if you don't too.

1 Like

Romance › Re: Dating/marrying An Amazing Guy Who Has A Daughter -&baby Mama Drama Included! by LostMermaid(op): 8:58pm On Oct 05, 2014

thimbook2:
it's s.hyte like this that's makes ya wanna get a case-hungry lawyer-frend" for a 10-page prenup!

haha what exactly do you mean?

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