aisha2:


Drug dealer ke? Where you see that one?

When he was really young, there was a time he sold cannabis. But that was way before he had the child.

LostMermaid:

When he was really young, there was a time he sold cannabis. But that was way before he had the child.

Please answer my other questions. I quoted it on my last post

aisha2:


Drug dealer ke? Where you see that one?

LostMermaid:


You're definately right!!! For example; in my past relationship i got really hurt; there was some things my ex boyfriend did; that were sooo wrong; but on the other side, I surely know I made mistakes too; that perhaps caused some of his bad responces.

Well; I will ask directly to him then; is there anything about your past relationship; that you take the blame for? That you know you did wrong; and you know you will not repeat again in next (present) relationship?

Could that be a good idea?

Maybe he'll tell some things...

I know he was doing drugs at that time; i mean soft drugs; like cannabis; and not in massive amounts. He says he's a good boy now and he gave them up. Maybe problems were due to drugs at that time?? Can we believe that he changed? He says he has changed, because of his daughter; he loves her so much.

Oya o. Amibo reporting.

ex Girlfriend a slut.

Fiance... A saint.

Stillfire:


You are a virgin, and it's a baby father you want to end up with?
You can do 100 times better than a baby father.
Baby mama trouble is not beans.


Baby fathers should marry baby mamas.

I know. But he's what I want... Like a soulmate, like the dream guy.

LostMermaid:


When he was really young, there was a time he sold cannabis. But that was way before he had the child.

Lair lair , pants on fire!!

@O P:

Went through your profile and saw about 3 threads on This same issue with the ex...

You need to sort them out now...

I agree the ex might be evil but it is not in your place to judge and until you hear the ex' version, all you are getting is from your guy's POV.

Even If your guy was a saint all through their relationship, he must have a flawed believe system to have picked his ex.

Your focus should be on How to be a good wife to wipe away the experience of the evil ex and not add fuel to the fire...

And your guy should be more focused on builfing your relationship than badmouthing his ex.

Constant ranting about exes is a sign of a person on rebound. You should also ensure that he is with you because he loves you and not because you are different from his ex or he wants to prove to her than he can land a better lady.

Goodluck

You have this same thread on romance section. I told you to bring it to family.
THIS MATTER IS really making you go nutter.

Anyway I will still say what I said there.

You are showing trait of a wicked step mother. kindly leave that man and his kid alone.

if you end up marrying that man and you treat that kid anyhow, Karma is a freaking plonker BITTTTCH

Chillisauce:





Oya o. Amibo reporting.

ex Girlfriend a slut.

Fiance... A saint.

People learn from mistakes... Don't they?

If a girl dates a total BAD GUY at a young age, does that mean she's going to marry a bad guy as well? Teen girls generally fancy bad guys but they end up with guy guys usually.

We experience, we learn.

LostMermaid:


Where did you make up i'm pregnant from? I'm not pregnant or anything. He wants to marry me. And he wants to have a child (or two) with me. So it's a PLAN. Nothing to do with what his ex did; nothing to do with saying she's on birth control to a man(who wants to split up!!), and then tricking him into pregnancy and then claiming not understanding that pregnancy until 4th month.

Secondly, to me, cheating on a man doesn't make a woman very moral. And as far as I know this is the same all over the world. This woman cheated on my future husband, and she is still together with that man. She was sending that man love messages when she was living together with my future husband and their child. This is why she is slutty.

I never cheated on anyone. And never tricked anyone!

I hope you haven't either!

So you won't go ahead and act like the lawyer of a 'slut' who cheated on the father of her child, and then tried to keep that child away from him, causing him so much pain.

if you are going to marry that man, please don't let that kid live with you.

You sound like a very hateful person, the said woman didn't cheat on you, what's your obsession with her?

You must be very naive to believe everything your so called future husband told you, like he can't lie? Of course it will be all the lady's fault when he's recounting what happened, please take a break from yourself, you sound very annoying.

LostMermaid:


I am always nice her. Actually I like her. And she likes me back. We play lots of games together and all. And I buy her lots of presents, she then loves. My problem with his ex and even with him, if I have any, has got nothing to do with her. She's a different person. And I would never hurt a child.

She is the daughter of a slut remember? Any time you look at her, you see her representing her slutty mother and you are worried that an innocent 4yr old will influence your unborn children.
How can you claim you love her when you hv already seen her as a dark cloud above the happiness of your future family.
Madam fear godu ooo.

freecocoa:
firstly, if I am involved with a man with a child and love him, then I must love his child , if he gives more attention to the his child from another woman, then that's something I have to discuss with him, it's no business of the child in any way.

Really? that's how it works?

LostMermaid:



People learn from mistakes... Don't they?

If a girl dates a total BAD GUY at a young age, does that mean she's going to marry a bad guy as well? Teen girls generally fancy bad guys but they end up with guy guys usually.

We experience, we learn.

So why don't you believe that his ex also changed and learnt from her mistake?She cheated long ago before you came in the picture,so why are you still referring to her as a slut?Should we also call your ex drug dealer?

zeezahbee:
You have this same thread on romance section. I told you to bring it to family.
THIS MATTER IS really making you go nutter.

Anyway I will still say what I said there.

You are showing trait of a wicked step mother. kindly leave that man and his kid alone.

if you end up marrying that man and you treat that kid anyhow, Karma is a freaking plonker BITTTTCH

Coming up with a reply that reflects you haven't understood well all the replies, you are showing the trait of a mentally handicapped person, or someone with Asperger's Syndrome to put it nicely. I'm not gonna insult, because the level of your comprehension made me feel bad for you, as well as your manners.

When is the man going to marry her kwanu
Shouldn't that be her first concern
What is he waiting for

LostMermaid:

I know. But he's what I want... Like a soulmate, like the dream guy.

OMG where are your parents? You sound young.
There are 7 billion people in the world, surely this man is not the only man with the characteristics you like.
Let me tell you now, the other woman and her kid will be in your life foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Baby mama issues 101.
Don't think as you are having these thoughts, the other woman is not plotting as well.
You already sound like a needy person, you think a nigga has the capabilities to meet your emotional needs? It's not in their blood.
You are shortchanging yourself, and you would come out the loser in this arrangement.

Joavid:


Really? that's how it works?

Yes, that's how it works for me, if I love him, then I love him totally until I find a reason not to, for feck's sakes, we are talking of a baby here, a 4 years old, what reason could I have to not love a child so young when I'm supposedly in love with the dad?

LostMermaid:


I am always nice her. Actually I like her. And she likes me back. We play lots of games together and all. And I buy her lots of presents, she then loves. My problem with his ex and even with him, if I have any, has got nothing to do with her. She's a different person. And I would never hurt a child.

Good but this contradicts your initial confession ( should I call it?) about the girl.

I will honestly advice you to either leave the guy if you ain't equiped for baggage that comes with step children drama OR convince your man to let that girl stay with her mom.

It's your life and your choice in the end. Good luck.

freecocoa:
if you are going to marry that man, please don't let that kid live with you.

You sound like a very hateful person, the said woman didn't cheat on you, what's your obsession with her?

You must be very naive to believe everything your so called future husband told you, like he can't lie? Ofcourse it will be all the lady's fault when he's recounting what happened, please take a break from yourself, you sound very annoying.

Are you here to discuss something, share your opinion in a civilized way, or give advice like a grown up person, or are you here to tell the writer of the topic "you are annoying", if you're annoyed, you don't need to come to this topic, don't need to read anything about it. Who is forcing you to?

You're more hateful than me.

And what is worse, you don't even realise that.

LostMermaid:



People learn from mistakes... Don't they?

If a girl dates a total BAD GUY at a young age, does that mean she's going to marry a bad guy as well? Teen girls generally fancy bad guys but they end up with guy guys usually.

We experience, we learn.

You are a lawyer for your "future husband" but a jury to his ex.

edwife:


So why don't you believe that his ex also changed and learnt from her mistake?She cheated long ago before you came in the picture,so why are you still referring to her as a slut?Should we also call your ex drug dealer?

Ok you're right. It was a mistake to call her a slut, no matter what.

But I just shared the thoughts that were bothering me, so I knew they weren't right.

Thanks for providing this perspective.

babygirlfl:


You are a lawyer for your "future husband" but a jury to his ex.

OK, OK. You're right on that.

LostMermaid:


Coming up with a reply that reflects you haven't understood well all the replies, you are showing the trait of a mentally handicapped person, or someone with Asperger's Syndrome to put it nicely. I'm not gonna insult, because the level of your comprehension made me feel bad for you, as well as your manners.

You are a beasst , People here have told you the truth but you have been running up and down cussing everyone. You will end in hell if you are not careful. Oya vamoose and be gone to the dogs. Wicked future step mother. slowpoke

bukatyne:
@O P:

Went through your profile and saw about 3 threads on This same issue with the ex...

You need to sort them out now...

I agree the ex might be evil but it is not in your place to judge and until you hear the ex' version, all you are getting is from your guy's POV.

Even If your guy was a saint all through their relationship, he must have a flawed believe system to have picked his ex.

Your focus should be on How to be a good wife to wipe away the experience of the evil ex and not add fuel to the fire...

And your guy should be more focused on builfing your relationship than badmouthing his ex.

Constant ranting about exes is a sign of a person on rebound. You should also ensure that he is with you because he loves you and not because you are different from his ex or he wants to prove to her than he can land a better lady.

Goodluck

This is one of the best comments.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

. She cheated be getting pregnant when they were about splitting up?

What kind of bullshit line is these?
No more condoms?
Btw op is leaner because the ex is always the one with the problem.

Husband to be is at fault.if for anything,he should be the one bringing peace but instead he is beating war drums.

zeezahbee:
You are a beasst , People here have told you the truth but you have been running up and down cussing everyone. You will end in hell if you are not careful. Oya vamoose and be gone to the dogs. Wicked future step mother. slowpoke

Believe me You'd make a more wicked one.

Just read your comments.

You're accusing me of possibility of turning into a wicked stepmom, whereas showing me an incredible amount of wickedness. Never seen so much irony. It's so ironic that it actually made me laugh.

LostMermaid:


Ok you're right. It was a mistake to call her a slut, no matter what.

But I just shared the thoughts that were bothering me, so I knew they weren't right.

Thanks for providing this perspective.

You are welcome...

But try as much as possible to stop interfering between the ex and your fiance,it is their problem-she was with him before you and you will never really know whatever happened between them,no matter how detailed your man let out.

You might not see it now,but the more rage and hatred you have for the mother will one day be transferred to that girl,it might take time but will surely happen.

Their relationship might have been different,many factors were involved-a baby,money,communication and so on...

Have a cordial relationship with her,you don't need to be friend but civil towards each other for the sake of the child and husband.You know men when things will start getting hot between you guys,he will blame you for the non existing relationship with his child and baby mama,he will even say if you were a good woman,you would have bring peace in the family.

My dear,think long term and not just the present...he loves his child remember that...

zeb04:
. She cheated be getting pregnant when they were about splitting up?

What kind of bullshit line is these?
No more condoms?
Btw op is leaner because the ex is always the one with the problem.

Husband to be is at fault.if for anything,he should be the one bringing peace but instead he is beating war drums.

He said he never thought she could do something like that, so he believed her when she said she was on birth control pill.

Some men prefer no condom I guess cause it feels better or something.

LostMermaid:


Are you here to discuss something, share your opinion in a civilized way, or give advice like a grown up person, or are you here to tell the writer of the topic "you are annoying", if you're annoyed, you don't need to come to this topic, don't need to read anything about it. Who is forcing you to?

You're more hateful than me.

And what is worse, you don't even realise that.

I haven't said I'm annoyed just yet,just telling you your words have the propensity to annoy, how does pointing that out make me hateful? Please don't tell me you also can't comprehend.

You've called a woman you barely know, a slut like a zillion times and you are one to talk about being civilized? Pot meets kettle, you are a danger to your own self, too bad.

edwife:


You are welcome...

But try as much as possible to stop interfering between the ex and your fiance,it is their problem-she was with him before you and you will never really know whatever happened between them,no matter how detailed your man let out.

You might not see it now,but the more rage and hatred you have for the mother will one day be transferred to that girl,it might take time but will surely happen.

Their relationship might have been different,many factors were involved-a baby,money,communication and so on...

Have a cordial relationship with her,you don't need to be friend but civil towards each other for the sake of the child and husband.You know men when things will start getting hot between you guys,he will blame you for the non existing relationship with his child and baby mama,he will even say if you were a good woman,you would have bring peace in the family.

My dear,think long term and not just the present...he loves his child remember that...

You're really right....

I just can't help but feel (SOMETIMES) that if that woman hadn't lied about being on birth control pill when she actually wasn't, and then not understanding pregnancy until 4th month, and all; I would have had the chance of forming a more problem-less life with the man who I believe is the one for me. When I think about it, it makes me angry.... It's like that ex stole that show from me. I dont know how to express in the right way but like... stole my chance of being a family with him and experiencing having a child the feelings of becoming parents together, for the first time.. Do you understand me? Tell me, how would you feel? And how can I stop this from annoying me sometimes?

But it's not like when I see the child these are on my head. When I see the child, I view the child as something lovely, innocent and fun, I don't base my behavior on what I think about the past relationship or his ex or whatsoever. People adopt kids; they don't know who their moms are; maybe the worst person maybe a prostitute, a sinner, anything. A child is not the same thing as a mother. I'm not the same person as my mom. I know that.

freecocoa:
Yes, that's how it works for me, if I love him, then I love him totally until I find a reason not to, for feck's sakes, we are talking of a baby here, a 4 years old, what reason could I have to not love a child so young when I'm supposedly in love with the dad?

I think you've been in family section long enough to know that love is not enough. Never has been.


Can you be a mother,care giver to a toddler which can be irritating (considering how kids are) and still watch your husband spoil her silly with his attention?

Will you not subconsciously become harsh to the child cos you are jealous and irritated.

Jealous because despite the child been silly(kids are silly), her dad your hubby still gives her that love and attention?
(Heck! I get jealous of our last born sometimes.)

bear in mind that this child is NOT your blood.

LostMermaid:


You're really right....

I just can't help but feel (SOMETIMES) that if that woman hadn't lied about being on birth control pill when she actually wasn't, and then not understanding pregnancy until 4th month, and all; I would have had the chance of forming a more problem-less life with the man who I believe is the one for me. When I think about it, it makes me angry.... It's like that ex stole that show from me. I dont know how to express in the right way but like... stole my chance of being a family with him and experiencing having a child the feelings of becoming parents together, for the first time.. Do you understand me? Tell me, how would you feel? And how can I stop this from annoying me sometimes?

But it's not like when I see the child these are on my head. When I see the child, I view the child as something lovely, innocent and fun, I don't base my behavior on what I think about the past relationship or his ex or whatsoever. People adopt kids; they don't know who their moms are; maybe the worst person maybe a prostitute, a sinner, anything. A child is not the same thing as a mother. I'm not the same person as my mom. I know that.

Edwife was talking to a wall. The ex stole the show from her. Lord have mercy.