Becqueen:
please don't accept him back.....my mother went through same stuff with my Dad.... he left her for 15 years....he came back and asked for forgiveness when my mom is doing good...I don't know his intention,maybe it's because she's leaving comfortably.my mom have houses and shops and a good business,maybe that's why he came back for forgiveness, and she accepted him
I didn't agree to it,i told her not to,i told her he should tell him to stick to his now 3rd wife but she said she has forgiven him ,well she asked him to leave, lol he came back and was shedding all sorts of tears calling various pastors to help plead.
lol I guess it's because he has nothing again, now he lives with us in my mom house and drives her cars....karma is a b**tch for real cause I can recall my mom telling me he never allowed her in his car, the only he did when he had money was to pick all his girlfriends but now she's feeding him, whenever I see him I pray to God, to give me a responsible and a man that fears and loves him not a man like my father.
I don't like my father I pray God gives me the heart to forgive him..so OP don't accept him back, thank God you are in the states you can remarry

Op, listen to this advice. This person is talking from experience. A first hand one at that. You can forgive your husband and let him have access to his kids through calls and al but NEVER you consider taking him back as a husband. An old dog can't learn new tricks except he becomes a genuine born again christian. He can be a father to your children without being your husband. Don't forget the love you had for him is no more. So move on, if you find a man that can love you and be good husband and father to your kids, so be it. If not, count your blessings one by one and accept your losses.

confun:
eh eh eh, see ds man o, tinz are falling in place now,wen everything becomes rossy, he won't remember his nairalanders again o....anyway I foresee a sweet union between both of you.....shalom

You're funny bro. Thanks for your advice

haggai247:

you have prayed and God have shown you,other men of God have also confirmed and you are still worried
smh and you call yourself a xtian

There's nothing wrong in seeking others opinions or what do you think? I have handed everything over to God anyway, I know He is a God that does everything perfect in His own time. Thanks all the same

jabojafa:
if you are sure dt God revealed to you then go back to Him and tell Him d difficulty you are passing thru. He shd also reveal it to d lady in question. Becos i wonder why He wud reveal ur wife to be to others and hasnt cared to do same to d people concern. Secondly dont act to desperate wen wooing her. See it as fun, dnt act as if ur life depend on her. Let her knw dt she is nt indispensible and dt u will always be fine with or without her. Lastly keep praying and serving God remember Matt 6:33, as u are serving God, He will add all this tings including wife.

Thanks bro, that's what I'm doing now. I've stopped chasing, calling and texting. I have handed everything over to God cos I hold on to the promise of God and His word which says the heart of the King is in the hands of God and he turneth and twisteth it as He pleases. So if she is the one, she will not rest until she comes around and accept me as her man even if I am not what she envisaged her husband to be. Trust me, no woman can marry me and regret it, even though I am not perfect

yetseyi:
Why is everybody thinking she is not interested?

Loveprotocol just be patient, shes probably thinking about the proposal and trying to be careful, that's all.


If she is not she won't have called you up, in fact she wouldn't have tuned to your program not to talk of noticing you were absent. She may actually be doing serious checks on you now at least she too would have to pray about it since shes a spiritual person or do you expect her to go ahead based on your own confirmation? A lot of ladies do not just say yes to proposals of people they have not known well.

Just be patient joor, its not a big issue and please this one you say you guys don't have time for dates its not a good thing too. Even if its someone's wedding invite her. You can also go observe her in her church on a sunday You know more about people when you see them interacting with others.


I have heard stranger/more difficult stories and they are married happily.This one is small now.

Don't rush her, just let it flow she will come around.

May God grant you your heart desire bro.

God bless you my sister, I appreciate you. I have actually surprisingly showed up at her church one Sunday morning and I make bold to say that was one of the turning point in our 'relationship' so far. She was surprised to see me and because she was the Head of the Hospitality unit, she was the one that attended to first timers. She just smiled and asked me who invited me in a sarcastic manner and I said she's the one. That was the day I broke the ice cos she became more free with me, tried to give me her IV to enter a state function later in the evening when we met there (cos my IV was with someone coming late) and she surrendered her BlackBerry PIN to me that evening. As for dates, she is begging me to be patient with her on that. Maybe she's scared of what might happen when people must have seen us a couple of times on a date and then we are no longer an item. Just my thought.
I am no longer rushing her, in fact I've stopped calling and texting, she is the one doing that now even if it's not everyday.

kayzat:
Oga Man of God,


how are you so sure she's not in another relationship already ? no matter how much she maybe playing hard to get the moment you told her you are sick is the period she suppose to show relax herself and show some care. its not about coming to check on you personally but at least she should've asked for the nature of your sickness , what you have done already and what needs to be done then the next day she should've called .


I personally don't believe in all this prophecy and revelation of a thing because I have seen lots of prophecy gone wrong and someone close to is still suffering in a conman house because of some false prophecy and revelation.



My advice to you is to slow down , have some very deep thinking about this issue without applying any sentiment and let your senses guide your next move.

She's not in any relationship. She told me that categorically and I found out about that too myself. She has called me twice after I told her I am sick and she was mad at me I didn't tell her much earlier as she would have called me often, she asked what's the cause of the sickness, what I've used and who's taking care of me. Unfortunately I can't ignore my gifts, which are seeing visions, dreams and their interpretations and hearing of God's voice. It is because of my spiritual assignment on earth that I can't afford to marry anyhow lady out of flesh and sentiments. Who I marry is very crucial to whether I fulfil my God given purpose in life. Hence my going all spiritual about this.

Amelian:



Lol... Abeg no vex oo
The Chosen one indeed... Lol
Make I no talk too much

You've made me laugh this morning..

But nice one.. Keep trying mumu

Best of luck...cheers

Can't you see you're devoid of meaningful and wise contributions to the issue at hand? Must you comment and thereby display your lack of morals and intelligence? Instead of you to learn as a child that you are, you're busy calling people names. What a pity!

truthsayer007:


Sista, don't worry...More than 6 Prophets have also prayed about her she's the Chosen One !

Pipu and their mumu sef ehn..no be here oh !

You're the mumu one here. Since you can't comprehend issues and respond to same with decorum and wisdom. I pity your ignorance

Terryindeed:
My Friend, usually I don't do this , but please read what am about to say to you carefully. How long do you want to continue chasing her? 2 , if perhaps she say yes to you , can you live with this attitude when you get married? 3 a lady who want to settle down or want to love you, will never stress a thing out of you, 4 , there are certain things a lady must do before she becomes the wife, like knowing you, cooking for you, try to atlest make time for you guys to be with eachother, I for one doesn't like going to a girl house, the liberty for you to express yourself is limited. 5, desperation is a desease , i hope you haven't cram her number, be a man and do this for a while, go and meet her, tell her that it will be your last conversation about dating her, try to knw what's going on with her, if she doesn't want you, she should quit acting up and speak up, do you want to marry a woman who have this type of xracter? Pastor, don't fight with her, don't talk to much, don't wait for her to give you an answer, after telling her, walk out from her house and go home, if she doesn't do anything, she's not ready to be with you. Some women have issues, listen to them to knw what's wrong, but if nothing is wrong then she's not ready. Finally according to my Dad, if you dwell on something too much or for too long, the greater things will pass you by. At 31 you are still young, ladies are out there, don't be in boundage over someone who doesn't think about how you feel. Relationships is Give and take, care for me, I will do the same, not David and Goliath shit. She have her own life to live, do the same with yours. God bless you.

Thanks bro I appreciate you. She has called me this evening again o.

elektra:
Lol, here is my own personal experience. I have been asked out by 3 different pastors at different times and they all followed the same format.

The first time I spoke to them was when they made the move to request for my number. From that day onward they start calling every single day just to 'greet' me! If I do not pick, they leave so many missed calls, sometimes running into double digits. And when I call back they said they just wanted to greet me. Ah ah, but you greeted me yesterday now! I did not know how to tell these brothers to let my phone rest. I don't know if this method of getting to know a girl has worked with other ladies before but it was certainly a turn off for me.

Even though they swore heaven and earth that God said I am their wife (which I knew it was a lie because I am more agnostic than I am Christian as my primary reasons for going to church is to make friends and please my parents, they were obviously mistaking my introvertedness for spirituality) I did not give them a chance. I cannot take you seriously if you say you love me when you know nothing about me.

Try to get to know the girl without putting pressure of her. One thing that could work is doing stuff together in the midst of other people like volunteering at charity events, going to church programs together. ETC.

Well I get your point but I am not being deceitful here with her, I also don't call her more than twice at once and I send her messages once or twice a day. I'm a very busy person while she is also a very busy person too, that's why going out together on a date or doing some humanitarian or charity work may be difficult to schedule for now till she is fully into me, I pray.

CoCoLav:
Op. just be straightforward. five months is enough time to chase a lady and for her to have made up her mind. She is probably in a serious relationship and now weighing her options now that you are in the chase as well. You have told her your intentions, tell her you do not intend to force her or continue chasing her if she is not interested. Demand for an answer and move on with your life if she says no...Prophet or no prophet. If she is faced with an ultimatum, she will make up her mind quickly. Enough of the mind games both of you are playing and act like the matured adults you should be.

Ladies love being chased and sometimes men make it so easy. As soon as the man stops, we become worried and start the chasing. However, matured ladies that know what they want do not play such mind games.

Keep searching and praying for another lady and try not to appear too desperate next time.

I am not playing mind games with her actually, I just wanted to know if she has been pretending since that's why I create the scarcity once in a while and when I do, she reaches out to me.
I have asked her to make up her mind so that I can either include her in my long term plans or shut her out. She also made it very clear that she is not into any relationship with anybody and I've never seen her receive any call from a man whenever I'm around her.

Thanks everyone for your frank and honest opinions and advices, I really appreciate you all. Now, here's a new development, she just called me now again, saying she didn't hear me on air today (cos I anchor one of the most popular political and current affairs breakfast programme on radio in a station in the South West). I reminded her I was not feeling fine and she said she never knew or heard the other time she called which was last week, that I was sick. So she sounded concerned and was asking me the nature of my sickness and all. She promised to call regularly to check on me. Now what do you all think?

Terryindeed:
My Friend, usually I don't do this , but please read what am about to say to you carefully. How long do you want to continue chasing her? 2 , if perhaps she say yes to you , can you live with this attitude when you get married? 3 a lady who want to settle down or want to love you, will never stress a thing out of you, 4 , there are certain things a lady must do before she becomes the wife, like knowing you, cooking for you, try to atlest make time for you guys to be with eachother, I for one doesn't like going to a girl house, the liberty for you to express yourself is limited. 5, desperation is a desease , i hope you haven't cram her number, be a man and do this for a while, go and meet her, tell her that it will be your last conversation about dating her, try to knw what's going on with her, if she doesn't want you, she should quit acting up and speak up, do you want to marry a woman who have this type of xracter? Pastor, don't fight with her, don't talk to much, don't wait for her to give you an answer, after telling her, walk out from her house and go home, if she doesn't do anything, she's not ready to be with you. Some women have issues, listen to them to knw what's wrong, but if nothing is wrong then she's not ready. Finally according to my Dad, if you dwell on something too much or for too long, the greater things will pass you by. At 31 you are still young, ladies are out there, don't be in boundage over someone who doesn't think about how you feel. Relationships is Give and take, care for me, I will do the same, not David and Goliath shit. She have her own life to live, do the same with yours. God bless you.

Thanks man. I guess that's what I did the last time I visited her. I told her in clear terms that she needs to make up her mind cos I don't have the luxury of time. She just said "Okay I've heard, we will continue from here tomorrow", I said "so that's all you had to say" and she said Yes, so I bid her goodbye, handed over the gifts I brought for her and she came down from my car and I drove off. That was the last time I spoke to her, I only sent a text to her the following day and it was a deep and lengthy one. Truth be told, i'm not lusting over her, I have always known that when I meet my wife I would know but if she proves too difficult I would consider there ladies and pray about them as there are many other ladies waiting in the wings.

mastermaestro:


Never force someone into marriage with you, never ever. You are trying to make it happen with your all. On the issue of visions and dreams, you should be extremely careful. I know a handful of folks with your kind of gift who still ended up with the wrong partner in marriage. When it comes to marriage, the devil uses everything he has to derail those who appear to be very spiritually sound, especially the ones with prophetic gifts. Watch well, dude.

Thanks so much, I appreciate this. I will never force anyone to marry me, besides with all sense of modesty, i'm someone that is chased by ladies not only cos of my good looks and dress sense, but my intelligence. She is the 2nd woman in my entire life that I've ever tried to toast.

keepingmum:
A lady doesnt have to be heartbroken or have suffered heartbreak to reject a dude. Why dont you get that she is probably not into you?
Just like you look for qualities in a lady so also does she. She has her own standards and criteria and its likely you dont measure up.

Why does she call me when I don't call her for a while? Why does she respect me and behave like a wife whenever I'm around her? Why does she keep asking about me and trying to know about my past? Why did she say "there's something about me I want you to know, I always take my time before making a decision, I like to consider all the pros and the cons before I choose so that whenever anything goes wrong, I'd accept responsibility"? Why is she asking her colleagues around to dig up my past which is rough but I never hid anything from her? Can you help provide answers to these questions?

seizethaBae:
some guys sef. Isn't it obvious she doesn't want anything 2do with you? She's 28! She's not playing any "hard-to-get' dumb games with you. She just doesn't want you. Stick that to your brain and back off. You tend to irritate her more by bn desperate!

Have you ever been heartbroken by a man that professed love, promised heaven and earth to you and then you trust him with your life and money, only for him to ditch you at the last minute when wedding plans were in slow gear? How fast will you heal? Will the next man that comes calling not suffer in your hands?

kinibigdeal:
Then, if you are so sure of your own personal vision and some prophesies, you have to be patient. She might be testing your perseverance, studying on whether you may be discourage about her actions. Trust me, she's talking about you with her friends but trying to understand your seriousness so that she wont get hurt like in time past. All you need to do is to keep being nice to her, keep calling her, dont be too desperate to have her cuz that might get her to conclude on whether you are just those random guys that just want to have sex with her and run. Keep praying till she succumb and please based on your christian background, never demand from sex from her, that may ruin the whole thing because she still have her past in her memories

I can never have sex before marriage again. Trust me, I've had enough sex to last me till age 60. That's even if I have sex 3 times a week.

njiasi30:
Hmmm, 2 me dere is no person in particular dats kept 4 u 4 marriage. Just pray to meet d right person. I guess she's an introvert, but d truth is dat u wont achieve anything by keeping ur distance, since u love and want her as ur wife.

Try talking to her again, dis time around make sure she speak out. Tell her u want to know her stand so u will know if to move on or nt, 4rm dere u will know what next... When she was asking u...,u would ve asked her in return 2. Dont always wait 4 her to talk, ask her and b persistent...

Chat more with her, Dan calling, some ppl re free to express dere self while chatting dan when u meet face to face until d closeness is establish. Den she will now b totally free... U need to b fun to chat/be with, tease her and all dat, b open and free. Don't b 2 serious minded or churchy if u re with her, u can play game at d same time gist.

U need to take d bold step and create a cordial relationship first, nothing gd comes easily. I just hope she's worth it at d end. She likes u tho, maybe just being careful I wish u all d best.

Unfortunately this lady is not one who likes chatting or talking on the phone. I've seen her ignore calls even from her parents and she may not call back just because she doesn't feel like it at that moment.
As for asking her about her life and past, she just said she would tell me later. She makes it look like she's interviewing me and carrying out a research about me to evaluate her options. Her colleague once told me she likes me but she's just scared though

Bmanchi:
Oga, you shouldn't have brought marriage proposal to the table immediately, you should have observed her and know the right strategy to woo her.
solution
no mind the babe na shakara she dey do, change ur strategy, know all u need to know about her, have humor, don't remind her of your real intention, use your head, have faith, if she is attracted to you she will fall.
NB: Don't allow your emotions to supersede your intelligence.

Yes I agree I shouldn't have started with marriage issue. But I stopped talking about it afterwards until I wanted to draw a commitment from her before giving her the silent treatment ongoing. Would it be wise to go ahead with the silent treatment?

keepingmum:
I wonder the kind of pastor you are yet you are visiting prophets; You think its only you and your prophets that can hear from God abi? If you are her own, God will speak to her also because the BIBLE tells us GOD isnt an author of confusion.

He cannot speak with you and your candle burning/broom flogging woli's and not speak with her.
If i was her, i would flee from you sef.
You stalked her (trailing her from work)
She told you not to visit yet you came anyway and texted to inform you (you dont listen to her)
She doesnt like you visiting but you carry your hungry self anyway
All i see is a gold digging dude who has seen a working class babe, approaching her 30's and is flinging the word marriage/prophet/pastor all in a bid to lord over someone's pikin....abeg

Hold it there please, no insults based on wrong assumptions. Maybe you're a novice when it comes to matters of the Prophets. I am not talking about false prophets or white garment ones. Maybe you don't know that there's always a spiritual father to every Prophet/Pastor? Even the likes of Baba Adeboye and Oyedepo submit to a higher anointing and pay tithe to another ministry.
Who told you I am hungry? Who told you she is better than me financially? As young as I am, I've used not less than 8 cars, all gotten from legitimate sources. At some point I was into farming business before I closed my farm to pursue a career in Broadcast Journalism where I've met and interviewed the who is who in this country. In fact I feel she is scared of my popularity and public exposure at first. I can't just reveal my real identity because of trying to prove a point to you. All the same, thanks for dropping in but never jump into conclusions next time

mastermaestro:
Since you are a Christian, I'll attempt to look at this from a faith and revelatory perspective.

1. Are you really sure that she is the one? There was a pastor that pressured a woman into marrying him even when she initially wasn't interested in the union. All because a well-known prophet (of blessed memory) and another prophet 'confirmed' that the said woman was the one. The said pastor died this year. He quit ministry out of frustration by the woman that was 'prophesied' for him.

2. Never force anyone into marriage with you even if it was GOD'S will. Never! You may find it difficult to understand this now.

3. GOD can change HIS mind about a person when the person in question falls from GOD'S original plan. Something could go wrong between the time of initial approval and the actual event. Be sensitive to changes.

4. You seem to have been taken over by emotion on this issue.

5. You also are pushing to marry largely because everyone wants you to. This could blur your ability to sense danger.

6. Are there other options other than this lady?

7. That she is acting difficult does not automatically mean that she is the 'one' for you. This is a general flawed assumption. You are hanging on simply because she isn't giving in easily.

8. Dreams sometimes are slaves to one's momentary feelings.

Well I am not contemplating marriage because others are telling me to, I know I am ripe for it. As for my emotions spilling over to my dream life, I disagree, cos one of the greatest gifts I have is seeing visions, dreams and their interpretation. But I agree I have shown too much affection. I am hanging on because I am in love with her and can't stop thinking about her, it's weird when you just can't describe how you feel about someone when you barely even know them but it's as if you've known them all your life.

Raina80:
Sir you need to go back to the drawing board. Things should not be one sided like this.This is not playing hard to get this sounds just difficult. Focus your attentions on someone who wants to be with you. Don't let this become an obsession. Relationships should not be mission impossibles.

Thanks for this, I appreciate you. Exactly my thoughts. I don't want to come across as desperate or obsessed man. I guess the attention at first got into her head and she felt "well, he is convinced I'm the one, so let me just enjoy the chase since he has nowhere else to go". Unfortunately, I'm deeply in love with her. I've not contacted her sine October 18 now but even that is tough for me even though I must confess, i'm also tired of the care free attitude she's putting up. Maybe I said too much ab initio

Amelian:
Op the lady is not interested.. Simple... No need wasting time and emotions on her.. She sees u as a joker.. Let her be and concentrate more on the church and other things... In time, things will fall. In place.... They always fall in place at the right time.. Then u will know for sure, if she's the one or not.. Just relax.

Well, If you're saying I should relax then you're simply saying while I concentrate on other things, I should still wait for her to come around instead of looking or praying for another lady to marry?

@kinibigdeal, Yes I am sure. More than 6 Prophets have also prayed about her as I didn't just want to rely on what I heard or saw or even feel alone. In fact, our meeting was prophesied and I was warned about how tough she would be because of her past experiences with men. She even told me she doesn't trust anyone.
Recently when I fast and prayed about her again, I saw her in my dreams for the first time asking me why I have stopped calling her and that she is ready and we should go see her parents. In the dream she came with her best friend and the friend was begging me not to break her heart cos that's the fear they've been nursing. I woke up and prayed again but as it is, it's a bit tiring waiting for 5 months.

Please I need urgent, but wise and matured advice from men and women whether married or not.
I am a 31 year old, handsome, intelligent, hardworking highly connected and popular man, due to my profession.
I am also a good Christian who has a strong personal relationship with God, in fact a Prophet of God in the making. I am due for marriage, not only am I convinced it's time for that but even people have been disturbing me it's time to get off the bachelors list and settle down to raise a God fearing and happy family. So after praying seriously about this next major step, God answered my prayers and I met a beautiful 28 year old hard working lady in the line of duty. I got her contacts (she was reluctant to give me at first but I was very persuasive, I learnt from her colleagues that she never gives her digits to men), text and call her every single day. At first She never replied my texts and she rarely picks my calls until much later after we met. I met her early May and I told her about my genuine intentions on her birthday, which was 2 weeks after we met, I gave her a modest birthday gift too. She listened to all I had to say, smiling and laughing when I said I want her to be my wife and I was led by God to her.
It took more than 2 months for her to have a long conversation with me on phone as she always turns down any eat outs or dates. I understand the nature of her job though but she is an extremely private and cautious lady.
I had a major breakthrough in knowing her house in September (I had to tail her official car dropping her off at a junction close to her street so I parked beside her to pick her up and she took some convincing before agreeing). Since then I've been to her house just 3 times and each time I go with fruits and gifts. She offers me water or drinks and then we basically just talk about me cos she never shares anything about herself, all she does is to ask me about my age, religious background, past, plans and all that. The last time I went there she didn't want me to come but I went anyway, she was not at home but I sent a text that I'm waiting for her, she came later that night and I took time to explain once again my intentions and plans for marriage and raising a family. She listened attentively and said she has heard all I have said then told me not to buy her gifts every time I come but instead once in a while.
So I sent her a very deep text on October 18 about how much I love her and would want to have her as my wife and since then I stopped calling or texts or pinging. A week after she called me to say its been a while she heard from me and I told her I'm not feeling fine, she just said "okay we will talk later then" and she cut the call.
Now to the crux, i'm convinced this woman is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with but I don't even know much about her, I love her so much, but my female friends who are now married and a Pastor told me to leave her and stop communicating with her for a while, which I have started already, their argument is that, if she wants me and has been pretending since, she will come around and show me she is ready too. Mind you this is not the first time I would stop communicating with her for like 2 or 3 weeks, I've done this thrice, and whenever I do so, she will call at least once. Should I wait for her to come around? It's been 5 months of chasing her. Should I continue to keep my distance while praying for both of us? Please I need urgent but matured advice.

I'm a serious buyer. But I'm in Abk, i called you twice but you didn't pick up. Call back when you it or this message