₦airaland Forum

Sirchiboy:
Share your experience on your first heartbreak from relationship

it's a long story... She clearly told me i must use money to keep the relationship going, once i stop giving her money, she don block me until i subscribe

luminouz:
Go to the very first page of the thread. The answer to your question is right there.

i have seen it boss, this is her typical behaviour, i have talked about it serval times but she refused to change, she can even forget what you have done for her seconds ago "All past sacrifice is null and void if your continued association does not provide her with a tangible benefit. To simplify: if you cannot help her now, she does not care if you helped her before"... This is from first page of this thread

DMCA:
when dem d talk about red flags, dem mean kohro kohro red flags example

**Ashawo and hookup vibes (even if d person deny say im no d do am), if d vibes dey, e dey body
** Entitlement mentality
**Ur money is our money and my money is my own only
**U have no business looking into my phone type. no be say u suppose d look ur woman phone but if she no get anything to hide, why u go d hide messages if na serious relationship. so u go hide messages throughout una marriage?
**The lazy type wey d wan sitdon all day d watch zeeworld, telemundo and african magic, e worse pass when she be d type wey when BBNaija d go on, she fit sacrifice every other thing to watch that scripted play everyday diligently for 3 months. e fit tell u everything from beginning to end but basic things e go fit d do or understand
**Single mother wey na out of wedluck she born. Widows dey exempted. Divorcees dey exempted too only if d reason for divorce na real unreconcilable difference we no involve infidelity from her.

selfishness is it kohro red flag?

My guy observed how selfish she was before i started noticing it too. I once buy something with my money, waybill to her,.. unfortunately the thing was not the correct size. You know what she was angry about, and stopped talking to me that even? She was angry because she wasted her 1k to the bus stop to receive that things, she did not consider the money i wasted to purchase that things or the time i wasted to source for it in the market, i even miss staff bus to work because of her stuff.. from the moment i started reflecting on her past selfishness...

I started giving her money in the relationship, now she wants me to keep subscribing for the love like DStv, when i subscribe she will laugh and behave normal, when i stop, she block and delete my number... Is this normal for female gender or I'm just a mumu simp.

Op we are in the same shoe, seems I'm the one writing this. I even recently got used by a lady, i foolishly fall for her manipulation, looking for a way to be out of it. I created a thread on how it started, it didn't end there..

haybee2018:
Honestly speaking, coming to Nairaland frequently has been one of the best thing to ever happen to me. You'll actually think you've seen and heard it all until you find your way here... people with sound intellect (I mean EXTREMELY SOUND) and the few mad ones will actually make your day.
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My friend, you ain't the only one in this shoes. Going through all what you've wrote actually made me feel like I'm reading my own story. I'm also in my mid 30s and I'm a very KUNK introvert (if such word exist). They usually refer to it sometimes as MID-LIFE CRISES.
.
I instantly detest you when you talk too much in my presence...Dramas (most especially from women) I love my space, I hardly get along with people. But you see, there aren't any rules to life (just be yourself and be happy) that's all that matters.
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In terms of relationship, pls do not make yourself appear desperate to women (I'm seriously pleading with you on this) yea, be free....make friends and whatever. As someone have earlier said on the thread, you'll later need this your peace of mind when you fall into a wrong or toxic relationship.
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That been said, keep doing what you love most. As for me, I can have my earpiece plugged in my ears listening to music all-day, I'm a graphics designer as well whose work require long-hours of work with a PC.....There're quite pathetic and crazyy human being everywhere (both Genders) until you fall prey to one.... you'll never know how peaceful you were.
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Peace ✌️

your advise is supper

happney65:
There are a million and one girls you can take to bed without spending. But boys like you wey no fit follow woman talk at all think it is all about the Money

You should.cover your face in shame

it doesn't work for us that are ugly

Look really matter, look is More important than money as someone who is very short and ugly i can attest to this because i have always been very unfortunate when it comes to relationship, constant rejection is my name, i started full time Simping just to get relationship and maintain it, but still not work, o have spent a lot in relationship just because of my look, note; i have confident very well, but still not working properly for me

They do,if you look good, they won't bill you or care about money... only if you want to marry them they will put your financial state into consideration

meobizy:
It’s two years later. Are you 5’2 now?

i will check

kppo:
I once approached a lady for marriage. She took her time before she gave me an answer. I made it a point of duty to communicate with her everyday and she was responding. But a time came when she wasn't responding as before. Shortly after that, she told me that she is not interested in marrying me. My point is that a break in communication was a sign of what was soon to follow. If a lady is interested in you, she will communicate well. But if she is not communicating well, that may very well be a sign that she is not interested in you (anymore).

WOW this is good advise, mine break communication and the vibes was not there but i keep on forcing things until it finally happened. And I chop block

Goo0dHardDick:
Control your impulse and urge to chat 24/7

Dude get busy with your life. However, a woman who doesn't return calls nor pick up isn't into you. Enjoy the moment with her while it lasts and find someone else with the qualities you wan.

Stop all communication. Don't call her first
Don't text her first either. Do this for a week or 2 weeks, if she doesn't reach out to you, u have your answers already. Delete her number and move on

brother, how i wish i can use voice note to narrate my story for advice

Ki11YurSev:
I go like slap you o oya SiMPly narrate ham short

just give me simp d'or award brother. It was More than simping. Normal i am not a simp but I strip myself off standard, all my masculinity just to be intentional. I SIMply endure her till i got what i deserved 😂

Dtruthspeaker:
Actually, she just moved on to the next musquare wey still never learn who woman be.

because they must always abe a richer dude

Walezy2020:
good intention or no good intention ladies & money na 5&6 I heard a guy talking with his friends today that a lady left her guy after the guy had spent like 2M for her naim I reached there & said forget it there might be someone somewhere that had spent more than what the guy that spent 2M na highest bidder they will follow

you are right because she later called to narrate what they guy has gotten for her, the iPhone 16 he promised her, her rent, her this and that. That was when i realized that my spending nor near, and the highest bidder won. Person wey dey earn 120k as salary in Lagos Island dey find house of 1.5m 😂,

Diamond098454:
Hahaha hahaha hahaha
Sorry for your experience but that shouldn't stop you from loving again

i nor dey love again.

Onkoolos:
Bro narrate aam make we learn make other no fall victim 😂😂😂

it will be a long episode, you can read my last thread to get only the Genesis of it 😂

Diamond098454:
Hahaha
I can't stop laughing

it's a mix feelings, Laughing and weeping. It it was a terrible experience, that i have not experienced since I was born. I pray make my enemy nor experience am or mumu like me

Onkoolos:
Op If you follow this advice my brother you are dating yourself!!!… Person wey u won marry make uno disturb am with call or text aam. Infact some girls will not even allow you to call na dem go dey disturb you call if dem rate u. Op please move on, I hardly use 1 week with girls like this.. All this are flimsy excuse that you don’t want to be the foundation of your relationship… Any girl wey Dey act like say I Dey disturb her with call, no be me and her go continue the relationship, na disrespect of the highest order, if you don’t know

the worst is the make excuse for any girl.. I used to make excuses for my own until she finally dumped me after 11 months of showing 100% seriousness and giving her good intentions

Sonnobax15:
it hurts bro, I totally understand that. But sometimes, it's preferable to just accept the reality and of course with time,man will definitely heal and be wiser.

If I tell you wetin my own use my eyes see recently,you no go believe say na me wey dey form strong man for Nairaland Dem use shine like that 😊

i believe my own is the worst case in 21st century 😂. If I sit you down to narrate everything, you fit slap me 😂.

Sonnobax15:

Make she pick your calls or reply your chats when she dey with your co-boyfriends? . Why you wan spoil her business for her?

Bro, forget that banny. She's a gamer and as a sharp guy,you suppose code when banny no too rate you.

bro, my own played with me for 11 months, similar to this guy Case, you can read my last post. She finally blocked me everywhere and confess that she have a boyfriend that is richer, that the guy always call her, even if they have nothing to say. The phone calls must be connected. I'm still weeping as it stands 😂

Dreal1247:
Understanding the person of your partner is a vital key to a successful relationship. Also, the nature of her work should not be disregarded in this subject matter. I've equally observed that in some relationships, it appear that the women are the ones yearning for attention of the men. While it is the other way round in some other relationships.
Lastly, does she always return other people's messages and calls while with you? This will give you the right judgement.

this was how i was making excuses for her until Truth came out

Goodmarlian:
I am just tired of this my girls approach towards our relationship,this girl is good ,well behaved and has a good job shes doing at hand but the problem I have with her is that she barely picks my calls or reply chats don't get me wrong we talk so very well offline we can gist for long and all that but we are no longer together forget it she will never reply my chats or calls
I have complained a lot about this to her she will apologize but still continue now I think it either she doesn't really like me as I think or she just want to weaponise communication I just want to continue with the relationship for fun while a find someone else who is ready and prioritizes me for marriage ,I see poor communication as a huge red flag .

if you Read my last post, you fit dump her. It happens to me too, at the end, it ended in tears for me. She finally admitted that she was deceiving me that she is in relationship, she open up to tell me that she is always on call with the guy that's why she can't take my calls, she said that even if they are not talking, but the phone calls must always be connected with the guy. After 11 good months of thinking i was in relationship with her, i plan getting married to her. She finally blocked me every.

you can marry from poor family but dont marry from family that are poor yet they want to live large and those with entitlement mentality

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Goodmarlian:
Op you go hear am
You waited 33 years before having girlfriend meaning you are inexperienced with women that gender go too show you shege banza, bro trust me it will take you almost another 5 years before you develop thick skin to their shenanigans.

omor, it's actually that ly age and family pressure that cause le to simp. Ly journey with her did not end well

FortCavazosKnox:
The same way you are acting as if you don’t know, you should start acting as if she doesn’t exist

it was difficult, i will give an update how it ended

ExudeLoveToAll:
If u are my bro I for flog u, move on find another name

someone need to reset my brain. Simping is a disease

Emmy000seun:
Lol...😂😂bro you are just looking for validation...in your mind and soul you already know she is a red flag..in the first instance she is a cool girl to you because she haven't seen a platform or opportunity to show herself, now when she get to eko akete,🙄😀😂..ilu ogbon, she get all she need to strive well in her holoshoism 📌..what do you expect..🤷her later character is her real self and just ask yourself a question if you can take such a woman as a partner?..a woman that can b open to you only when she feel like.. such girl cannot be trusted 💯💯..it's better you add more value to yourself and always remember that when you put woman on d forehead because you need a woman, you will surely not get the good one, but when you are focused and serious and improving yourself I can promise you that the good woman will come by herself and not the other way round 🤏💯..ire ooo

i will write how my simping journey went. It didn't end well 😂

Pukkalolo:
“As a guy you need to be nicer to the lady you intend to keep for a serious relationship…”

I disagree with that part.

As a Man, You’ve already lost the moment you think you need to “be nicer” to secure her commitment.


Men Are The Gatekeepers of “Serious” Relationships, Not Women.

A man with real sexual options does not really care for a serious relationship. He doesn't even have that goal from his own end

So if a woman wants a “serious” thing with him, she has to earn that position by being better than the other options he has.

As a Man, when you make “serious relationship” your goal from early on, you’re telling her: “I don't have sexual options. Please choose me.”

In her mind, she thinks: “This one is easy. I don’t need to bring my best self.”

That’s why she starts billing you harder while, and keeping her options open.

Men, here's the correct mindset is:


You should be the one always scanning for a better woman: the one who is nicer, more humorous, more submissive, more sexually enthusiastic, and more willing to invest in you.

While she should be the one waking up every day trying to make sure you don’t find that better woman.

She should be the one nicer. She should be the one funnier. She should be the one dressing better, cooking better, fucking better, supporting you better… because she knows you can walk away at any moment and still be fine.

That fear keeps her on her toes. That doubt keeps her loyal. That tension keeps her wet.


Be wise brothers.

how i wish I read this 1yr ago, i wouldn't have fall into her trap/scam, i acted nicer, very genuine to her, very Pure intentions, without even talking about sëx. at the end, she tear me break-up without a single quarrel. a 23yrs Old girl used my brain for 11month, i fall for it because of first impressions, when i met her she was decent, she was not even a serious social media type, no Tiktok, ig, just Facebook which she hardly login, i fall for it. Everything got worst when she got a job and moved down to lagos. It ended in tears After 11 good months of devoted simping without applying a single sense, just pure simping, Moving on is difficult for me but i got no option, i have to do it