thanks all

thanks

thanks all

Thanks all God bless you all immensely, thanks for the encouraging words i never knew i could get genuine advice here

nnamdibig:

It's ur life my dear. But the best thing for you now is to leave that house and go where you can practice your learned skill and making a living out of it. You don't need his permission to leave that hell hole, let him come back one day to meet your absent.
And why will you want to leave your son with a man am sure you don't want him to be like?
You can't think we'll now because you are still with him. The first step is leave so you can have time to think about yourself & your son.

Thanks a million God bless you sweet

soonest:
Hmmh!
Op, the future is very gory!
Pls leave before he kills you. Forget what people will say, you can start still start afresh. Thank God you learnt a skill so You wont die of hunger. Start planning

thanks

lovingT:
Uve got handwork. He gives u nothing. U practically fending for ur self already.

As for ur child he stays with u. You take care of him. Unless u want him to be like his father.

as in seriously na food and shelter e dey give me

nnamdibig:


That is where you are still missing it. Staying with mum will give the chance to look for something to do which he doesn't permit. You will have the time to look for what to do or even perfect ur fashion designing skills.
That house is a time bomb for you coupled with the fact that he smokes. Seriously I fear for your life.

i told you he is not in good terms with my mum any day i say i want to my mum's, the only thing he will tell me is not to come back it has happened before

God bless all of you that took out time to comment, it was really helpful,thanks for stoping by pls i have one more question who should take custody of my son.

zaynie:
Why do you want to stay? You want to die ni?
He can't control his temper.
He is tight fisted.
He has zero respect for you.
He doesnt want personal growth for you.
Is the sexx that good that you want to die there?


Open your eyes!
Think with your head!
Unless you want to live hand to mouth too.
Lonely.
Sad.
Depressed.
Abused.
With a son that knows all the corners hemp is sold at age 5. He'll probably chew some at some point......
A son that believes its ok to treat women like trash because its what daddy does. He will start with you, yes your son will learn to disrespect yoy, report you to daddy, laugh when daddy beats you.....its true, sad but true.



Since you want to stay sha.........
What can I say?
Pray he stops.
Pray for strength....strength to withstand the punches, strength to withstand hunger ( best way to punish a woman with no money of her own is withold food from her and her brood).
Pray to have the perseverance of Job.


But if and when you decide to leave.....
- start reporting him to his people and your people so that they can be aware of what you are going thru.
- start saving....even if na 100# per day. Save. You can also pick from his pocket ( if he wont know or suspect..make e no go comot your teeth over 500#), as a new mother you will get monetary gift, spend wisely.
- save enough to buy a sewing machine. start sewing from the room. Socialise with women around you, I do not mean amebo things o....they are the ones that will refer ppl to you.
Sew only when he is not around, be careful to hide all clothes from his view, dont entertain clients in your house ( if possible, do the picking and dropping off).
- save more and spend wisely.
- call your outspoken sister that you are ready. That is if you ever will be.



Goodluck.

my dear you just addressed my plight severally, i ave gone days without eating because maybe he is angry or whatever reason, infact the last incidence thank God my sister was around she was the one that brought the money we used in cooking. it was pathetic

PresVA:
All advices given so far seem not to go well with you. .. so what options do you think you have?? And what exactly do you want Nairalanders to do for you?

my dear to be sincere am afraid am so afraid

Evacroft:
Hmmm! U married an insensitive, uncultured, Man. But guess what is not a real man.
Firstly u got a good chance to run earlier,that is u not been able to concieve,that should have made u to leave cos u gat nothing so much to loose,but now u are expecting and d beatings and I'll treatment still comes.
Well left for me, what u see is what u get,can wait on dat kind of man.
Now u have a low self esteem,cos what will make u. Remain with someone with an animalistic behaviour.

If u were my sis I did say pack ur things and leave,cos u ain't holding on to anytin in dat house.
1)No money
2)No care
3)No love
4)No attention
5)No companionship
6)No communication
7)No Godly Moments
No peace
9)No respects for u or ur pple
10) looks like there is also no future
My friend,it all depends on u now,but I will say get out of that place as soon as u can afterall he isn't taking care of u or ur future.

thanks

FrancisTony:
Lmao! I don't see why should have abandoned rich suitors to marry a poor man with the facade you'll struggle with him; I pity girls that trade with such ideology except you love that guy more than others which is a better reason...
It takes a responsible man to acquire wealth without any woman's help...

Sigh! I think you should leave that marriage for Christ sake.

thanks

byvan03:
My dear you are an unserious individual. Better start a fresh life or keep wallowing in this mess. You should be giving testimony that there is no child to partake in this doomsday. This time around don't be like the leaves that get blown by every passing wind. Have a direction in life and let anyone that can't share in that direction bounce. How can you choose poverty as a criteria for marriage? What happens to the content of a man's character? I tire for you. Just start all over, you have your chance now. How can you let someone mess you up like this? It's not late!

my dear the only reason am still here is for fear of the unknown, will it be better out there

toyeem:
Hmmmm! God is your strength. Personally, I think you should let your mother know what you are going through because I don't think it's safe to stay in the house alone with a man dat beats you not minding your condition. You have only one life to live, please don't joke with it and that of your precious angel. God will see you through

without hesitation my mum will ask me to return, but that will be a burden on her + my child

nnamdibig:
The sooner you leave the better for you. Indian hemp is not a friend to any married man. You shouldn't be scared of leaving this hell hole you are. You want to work he is not allowing you, he beats you at will even when you are pregnant(so insensitive & stupid), but better leave his home and go stay with mum or any friend or relative at least for now.

i can't go and stay with my mum unless am planning to leave permanently, beside my mum is trying to sustain herself i can't go and become a burden

thanks all for the advice, is there really no hope or future for the marriage? hmmmmm what more can i say. I have been searching for a reason to stay,am soo confused, no wonder his mum once asked if he beats me and i just smiled and said no, several times it was his brother that saved me from his claws, now he is about to move out i wonder what will happen wen he decides to vents his anger.

Good day wonderful mama's pls anyone that has the time should click on my profile and comment on the topic my marriage, my future any hope....
God bless you as you do i will be waiting for your advice

All these started as soon as we got married so i can't say what propelled it, he always tell me,he is going to quit, i realized he is not happy, i thought it was because of the childlessness, and i always console my self that it would be better, but no improvement. the marriage is so shabby as the both of us aren't satisfied or happy, i cant call my hubby a friend as the only conversation we have is about money, quarrels, and insults, he is 9 yrs older.
Am so confused, i just want to know if i keep pressing will this marriage work. Cos i cant let my kid's suffer from this emotional turture

Now my major issues are, he smokes India hemp,he does not support me financially, and to crown it all he beats me at every giving oppurtunity,.
He was smoking when we meet,part of the reason we broke up before was cos he smokes, but he stopped during our courtship and now its worse, i hate smokers, but because he smokes its like hypocrisy to say i hate it.
Now you didnt allow me to work, and you wouldn't take care of me, since we got married he hasn't for one day given me money to make my hair as in not even by mistake that didn't bother me i ended up cutting the hair,the only clothe he has ever bought for me was our traditional wedding clothe,that didnt bother me am a designer i will join one or 2 pcs together and am good, the child you were causing havoc for will b here soon and we are not half prepared Yes this bothers me, is it that you don't have as you always claim, or just being wicked.
When ever i say lets talk about it you feel insulted, you end up insulting my mum and if i ask you not to, you end up beating me, you wake me up in the middle of a nap and ask me to cook,sweep or wash,of course i use to do them but now i can't, you feel insulted and end up beating me, they said all we need is communication, am not the talking type any time i become grieved and decide to pour my heart to you, you ll say am insulting you and you end up beating me
Am in a marriage that i don't enjoy anything, not peace, not happiness, not love, not freedom, but i still want to stay, what will i go bck and tell my mum,what will people say, what will i fall bck on when i leave,what will happen to my child,
this are the reason am still in the marriage not because am happy or satisfied.

.........

ok now let's talk about my family.
Am from a polygamous home, my father is married to 4 wives, and of course he is an igbo man, he use to be very rich,he lived his life in extravagance without any single investment not even a Hoe and that was part of the reason i never wanted to marry a rich man(does any reasonable person has that kind of mentality)My mum is the second wife,her business was doing good when Dad was ok, but came crumbling when she was the only source of livelihood. For now mum and Dad got nothing, they live from hand to mouth,infact that was part of the reason i married early,to avoid relying on men for money.
During my traditional marriage my mum wept all through cos of the way the list was slashed infact, they did less than 1/3 of the whole process and i wasnt even helping matters as i was shouting iam not being sold, the whole process was like they were pricing crayfish in the market,that didn't bother me, i was just happy iam getting married, my mum wept her eyes out,now i understand why she was crying.
My hubby hated my mum since the saying she likes money too much, since i got married am not sure they ve talked on phone up to 3 times, infact the last time my mum called him and was like why dont you use to call me, he bluntly told her that he does not owe her any call.
Same goes for my elder sister, she is very outspoken, unlike me, and he hates her for that, when ever she come around, he becomes even more angry, this has created a distance between me and my family, no one is allowed to come in contact with me,am just isolated, if i have problems i don't knw who to call

All through those 2 years was the worst of my life cos of childlessness, i was battling to be stable in my finances, i was trying to be a good wife, and oooohhh God pregnancy was not forth coming. I cried to God, i prayed like i never,ever did,i don't have money to start seeking for alternative. My hubby will always not hesitate to remind me how he won't remain childless for the rest of his life( marrying a second wife) it got to a point i told him if he can he should get a wife, cos the pressure from him was so much,you wouldn't even believe we were less than 2 years in marriage. He went on and on telling any one who cared to hear how unserious i was in getting pregnant.
In it all the only consolation i got was from his mother who kept assuring me i would carry my own children.
Hmmmmm after all said and done, thank God i got a big fat possitive when i least expected it am almost due,to bring forth my little one and Yes its a BOY.

To cut Long stories short my hubby did not allow me to go so could not rewrite the carryover and i got only 2 years grace to rewrite it. That was how i lost my 2 years OND certificate. his reason was since i wasn't going for HND there was no need.
I felt all hope was not lost since i never really wanted to work for any one i wanted to be self employed. I went for training in fashion design and completed it, since there was no money to set me up i decided to b doing the little i can from my parlor, i even started working for people, but since hubby was always looking for ways to tell me when to go to work,he will just wake up one morning and decide that today i wouldn't be going to work,so i wasn't steadfast because of unofficial absenteeism, they would have to look for some one else.
I kept on searching cos i hate idleness, i ended up working for up to 7 different fashion house,i had to leave for the same reason. Until the day he boldly told me he doesn't want me searching for job any more. since then i have been a stay at home wife.

Good day,good people of nairaland.
please i would need your advice and counselling about my marriage. I got married in Dec. 2013 to a man i courted for 6 months, yes 6 months, though we meet and separated for over a year then we came back and got married 6 months later. Before we got married i had other well to to suitors, but i was of the opinion that money isn't everything cos i preferred to marry someone i could struggle with.
During my final months in school was wen i was preparing for my wedding so i was always on my way to Lagos at least twice a month and i spend i week each,so it was like spending 2 weeks in school,2 weeks off school. Because of that i couldnt meet the 70% of attendance other lectures listened to my plight and let it slide but Mr Ali decided he won't and gave me the carry over. All good and fine i will come bck next year and rewrite it so i thought.

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ogorkojo:
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