₦airaland Forum

cayorday89:
Maddict1, this is what you are supposed to do, it's ought to be the norm, your own name is supposed to be your children's surname and not the one you grew up with.
Either you change your surname now or not to your mother's own is not the main thing, the best you could do for her is to be there for her when she needs you, make her proud and happy always as a way to repay all that she has done for you.

I know all of these but the thing is I'm usually triggered when I'm identified by/with the name. I've already started including my mom's name and I've never felt better! I want to be identified and linked with someone who was empathic to me and didn't make my life a living hell, someone who didn't make me depressed and suicidal, someone who didn't make me feel like I was worthless in all ways, someone who was glad to be related to me and defends me against all odds. Parenthood is a choice, one isn't a parent just by their ability to procreate or have children you know. I want to be a child of the person who chose to be parent to me. My kids will eventually bear the names of both their parents so why don't I lead by example?

JONNYSPUTE:
.....Well. We can never tell. I wish him well.

Better.

pocohantas:
Lol. We both know this would never happen. The woman’s side would hardly ever reject a child. Even if e get down syndrome, they will accept him. I don’t know what OP is going through. So I can only wish him peace.

Thank you for this.

McDuncan:
I've read most of your posts here but, one question remains; is it your mother's name you're joining up with your father's name or your mother's surname?

My mother's name

JONNYSPUTE:
.... And you think that just changing of your surname will erase the fact that he was your biological father?

Go ahead and change it and by the time your mother's side tells you that you don't belong there your eyes go open.

Sperm donors are biological fathers of their kids, you don't see those kids taking their surnames.

Like I said before, them no go tell me anything, i be my mama pikin loud and clear, everybody know that one. my own is what will these people even stop me from sef? telling me I'm not part of them will prevent what actually?

Corporate2020:
Go to hell and change your surname to Buhari. Your dad is resting after all the troubles that you and your mummy made the man pass through. You can continue in your bitterness, anger, and hatred. Oloriburuku Omo Oshi.

Hehehehehe!

One deadbeat don dey defend him fellow deadbeat. Na your children I just dey pity, dem never know wetin wan hit them, abi e don hit them sef. Be like your children don even disown you sef, na why you carry that anger come here. Sperm donor wey wan harvest wetin him no plant. Ewu

Ardar:
Op I'll advice that you wait till you finish school then you can officially change your name, you know with the court avidavit, news paper declaration, etc.

Because Nigerian universities will frustrate you.

Thank you sir. I'm actually considering this. But sir can I change the name now, so my bank accounts, Passport, NIN and some other official documents can start with it then after graduation I'll effect the change on my academic documents?

frozen70:
What do you know about change of surname

What do you that are the documents you will tender to that effect

Or you think you can wake up and change your surname name in your documents

You are expected to give your own idea and not to counter mine

If e pain you, read and move forward

Sir, one can.
One can actually wake up and decide to change their surname after considerate thinking. One does not need a family meeting, a written letter or any acceptance. Not everyone is the related-by-blood advocate, nor be everybody dey fight for inheritance, I am definitely not interested in their properties or their acceptance, what's my business with the family at large? na my mama name I wan bear, she accepts me even without a question, I be her own, her family also know say I be my mama pikin so what are you actually saying? Even if I'm interested in inheriting anything sef, my mama property no be my own? besides I'm from Urhobo and our culture doesn't discriminate, dia pikin na dia pikin whether na dia son or dia daughter born am, na dia own. So respectully stop die that family meeting and family affidavit matter. I want to say a lot but I can't type anymore

Thank you.

frozen70:
As for uoir school, wait until you graduate before effecting any change
. The reason being that uoir mother families will seat and have several meetings before they will come to conclusion

I wish you good luck

I wanted to say thanks and move on before but nah, what's all this meeting here and there? for what?

Wait o! is this because it's a woman's name I'm changing to?

2dice01:
Why are you asking me bruh

My own is nothing will change my surname especially my sweet surname or disown my parent

My opinion

and what does this statement imply? abi na me no get sweet surname?

87EightySeven:
OP are you a man or a woman? lets clear that first cuz those posters up there are confusing us

I'm a man

CHoccolaTE:
Lmao,
See mumu JAMB questions because somebody wants to answer his mother's name instead of deadbeat father's name.

African men and rubbish entitlement.

frozen70:
I will like to ask you some questions before giving you my advice because I have some experience base on your request and my job too

these are a lot of questions sha but since you can help me, here are the answers

frozen70:
Is your mum still with your late dad family or she has returned to her father's family

I do not really understand this question sha, do you mean if they are in good terms abi wetin?

frozen70:
Do you still relate with your late dad's family or you are done with them and now identified with your mum family

I'm still in touch with some but I'm so done with most

frozen70:
Have you made up your mind to forger about your late dad's family because of his attitude or you are still relevant with them

I do not understand what you mean by forgetting my late dad's family. Does including my mother's name to my surname suggest that? all the same, most of them were nasty and aren't relevant to this decision

frozen70:
Are you the only child of your parents or you have other siblings
This your decision, is it binding on just you alone or your entire sibblings

He has other kids, my mom has remarried now and kids too hut I'm the only one he shares with my mom hence the decision is mine and mine alone.

BadInvestment:
Surname should be lost of your problem. If you don't have any already. Instead change your kids surname to your name.

it is my problem actually, I'm about to do great things and attain great heights in life, I would not want to be identified by that name whilst I'm at the top abeg! that man doesn't deserve that spot

2dice01:
nothing in this world will make me change my surname or disown my parents

pls o, what makes someone a parent?

JovialJune:
100% in support of dropping your deadbeat father's name, honour your mum always and sorry for your loss

May the force be with you.

thank you.

CHoccolaTE:
That's one thing I have always wondlered about since childhood. Some of the women throwing away their father's names to answer husband's name are even the ones footing bills and feeding their families.

@Op, I commend the decision you made to honour your mother like this. I wish I knew correct methods of doing the change of surname but unfortunately I don't. I hope you find the info you need soon. Good luck

I'm telling you, I'm still in awe of how fast they do that, whilst researching on topic, the few threads I stumbled on relating to it were of women who were looking to change their surnames to their husband's. Some even just got married a day before oo! And I was like what's with this craze to change your surname so fast? Na so your husband good reach? Is he better than the people who have been looking after you all these while?

And thanks for understanding.

Runsboi:
I really do not know why some men are triggered by posts like this, your egos are so fragile. What's actually wrong with OP taking his mother's name now? I no even blame una sef, I blame the women who have enabled this gutter behaviour. You don't just up and dump your family who have and are still looking after you cos you married a man! I know you really didn't dump them persay but haba na, you're practically letting a man define you, don't get me wrong here, you can include your husband's name if you want but doing away with your family name entirely is what I really don't get.

If I eventually get married, my partner is expected to retain their surnames, our kids are definitely going to bear both our family names combined, no be only man dey get pikin.

this! all of these!!!

Zonefree:
Don't bother changing your surname now, wait till you get married so you can change it to your wife's surname.

oh please get out!

Good Evening my Ogas and Madams in the house.

I'm looking towards changing my surname to both my mother's name and a random name combined together. I am currently bearing that of my dad who was a deadbeat till his death and I don't see why I or my unborn children should solely take his name and write off the woman who toiled hard to bring us up, it's unfair to her in my opinion. I already know the steps to take. Court Affidavit - Newspaper publication - Nin/Bvn. I'm sha confused on the Nin/Bvn part cos I read somewhere that NIMC usually asks you to change it on your BVN first before coming to them and Banks on the other hand will ask you to go change it on your NIN first before they'll effect the change on your BVN, pls is this still a thing? How do I resolve it?
Also, I'm currently in my 3rd year in the University, will this affect me in any way? Do I have to go to NECO office to effect the change too?

I'm grateful for your inputs in advance