₦airaland Forum

armyofone:
Blessed New Year to you and cococandy and everyone here!

Such unimaginable horror!
Everything has been quiet since. It has started again.

Happy New Year! All my best wishes. Glad you are safe.

cococandy:
Of course. I don’t know how we pivoted to almost blaming the ex wives. Let the investigators conclude their findings.

From the times of Eve darling, nothing new.

cococandy:
1st of January and I’m already irritated 😮‍💨

Focus on the sensible comments dear. Happy new year!

cococandy:
If she accused him without evidence, you and your ilk will be the first to call her a liar for bringing the case forward without proof.
Now she got proof, you’re annoyed too.

You need to check yourself and figure out what it is inside you that makes you upset a child abuser is caught with irrefutable proof. It’s because you can’t accuse her of lying against him, you’re twisting yourself into pretzels to find out reasons why she must have done. Reasons outside of how disgusting what he did is.

Let me ask you, even if she did it because he’s been cheating and she’s angry at him for that, so what? He’s the one who did the deed. He’s the one facing judgement. Whatever her motives are are irrelevant. Do he or didn’t he do?

Fix your priorities pls.

Good question. I have been following this thread since yesterday and it makes my head spin.

Onegai:
If only my family members and friends felt this way about me

I'm learning from Experience, whom is the best teacher

They don’t? Are you sure?

I also enjoy reading your comments.

A hard working man who cared about people.

RIP

trium:
Do you mind sharing more about this i.e. your child and play?

What do you think parents can realistically do with kids?

Though I condemn those who give smart phones to kids, the reality of life is that adults need time or are such parents not really intentional? For instance, parents who have helps realize that the child is closer to the help than they are but they had to go out to work for money that will pay the same help! Parental instinct or neglect sets in. Is it a question of us accepting that we have to sacrifice one for the other? You can't win that time back. As a man, I always understood that value of time because it is a more important memory than what we buy that their brains haven't processed the value of money yet

I can’t tell you or any parent how to balance work and family life because we all have different jobs and as such different schedules. My job is very demanding sometimes and less time consuming at other times but I am trying the best I can to be fully present when I am at home and to pay attention to my child’s needs. I talk to him, listen, play all the games he wants me to play like hide and seek for example or we do puzzles or do some crafting. We made a paper owl the other day and he is crazy about it now. I get him involved in chores if I need to do them which he loves assisting me with. We also cook and bake together.

I understand that these mundane tasks are interesting for him and a learning opportunity. He likes figuring out which clothes are washed together and differentiate between dark and bright colors and he likes to switch on the washing machine. When we walk down the stairs, we count them. When we cook, I tell him about the veggies and how to hold a fork or knife training his little hands. When he goes on his potty, I tell him how the drink got into his tummy and other organs inside his body.

We also go out a lot and I tell him about trees, plants, animals. If something picks his interest in particular, I buy books on the topic. At the moment it is anything about the moon, the sun, the stars. He already knows that the earth rotates and he wants to be an astronaut. I have also ordered a book about how to experiment with children. Two weeks ago we built our own volcano. All it took was some foil and baking soda and some other things that everyone has in their kitchen.

Every moment is a learning opportunity. In play they learn to talk better, count, biology, you name it. They learn fast, it’s amazing. What has become mundane to us, is fascinating to them.

And then we do some trips as a family on some weekends. We go swimming or visit an amusement park.

On some days I am too tired to play his games and I have to force myself but that’s normal, I guess. Then I want him to watch a cartoon but he is not very interested in them. I wonder why.

How old are your children?

Sonnobax15:

Normal native hen mentality..

For a man to have the balls to splash thousands of naira on DNA test alone should be an enough reason to show to the female cockerel that the husband has got value for his future peace of mind......

Even my dogs and their puppies will never escape from DNA test so long they're under my roof

DNA test is way cheaper than naming ceremony and ignorantly and foolishly training another man's child for free of charge..So it's left for a reasonable man to decide on which one to go for ...

So therefore make she get out and get lost too

Married yet?

Too much trash. My kid keeps getting toys from different family members and barely plays with any of them or they break easily as they are cheap made in China things. Our house is full of clutter and I just think of the environmental pollution excessive consumerism causes. I will go and donate some of the stuff to an orphanage.

My child loves playing with us more than with any of these toys. Quality time is what makes children loved and smart, materialism not so much.

Sonnobax15:

It's one hell of situation we (men) have found ourselves in .

Was in a my town's government hospital two weeks ago,and I was standing right behind three bannies......One of them was telling the others how her BF told her to invite her friends over so that they could do a threesomEE . Honestly,I was shocked.....The second one said how She loves her BF big diick and that's one of the few reasons why she's still with him.......Omoh,I was weak....

Op,the truth is that our society is presently stocked with iron-condemned kind of ladies.......The ones that will never add any meaning to their men's lives..... Sometimes I begin to wonder why God has decided to punish men of this generation for the sins of our forefathers

We,the single men are in deep shiit,jokes apart...Cuz there ain't no plenty sensible bannies out there anymore.

Why are you so sure it’s the sins of your forefathers you are being punished for and not your own?

Kobicove:
It's usually the mothers that instigate the hate and jealously among step siblings

Yes o

If my husband was stupid like this, I would start WW III.

No mercy!

happney65:
Trumps and Elon's America now it is

But she hasn’t said why, right?

prophetfire:
You don't fight with boots, rather with guns and nukes and also keyboard war is part of warfare.

No, you take the gun and put on some slippers.

cococandy:
You’re too kind my lady.

Merry Christmas 💋

Merry Christmas

cococandy:
Amateur baking hour.

I salute all professional bakers because decorating a cake is not easy. The most important part is to enjoy the process even if it doesn’t turn out perfect.

It looks perfect to me.

maasoap:
You sure about that? Orrhesnik is still doing USA and NATO like film trick or bad dream.
This is assassination which Russian govt didn't imagine Ukraine could stoop so low to engage in. The price Ukraine is going to pay for this! They're lucky that Putin is not a madman like Netanyahu, you would have realised by now that Russia is not overhyped

Ukraine has been bombed for almost three years. Families have lost their homes and loved ones. Hospitals have been bombed, infrastructure destroyed. They have endured winters in freezing temperatures. So what is there left to pay genius?

AfonjaPriest:
[b]Ukraine secret service agents killed a Russian General? That's bullcrap; tell it to the Marines.
Don't be in a haste to jump to conclusion because of the western media penchant for spinning stories of such.
You may not know, it could be the handiwork of the inner workings of the Russian military hierarchy.
A cannon fodder that has outlived its usefulness, prepared for the slaughter slab for quick expiration.

Why trust any media when we have you?

prophetfire:
There should be war!!! We don't want peace.

Why don’t you put on your boots and go and fight keyboard warrior?

IjeBos:
And the well regulated part? Where does that fit in?

Ask the pro gun ownership crew please.

AmazonTopaz:
A militia supplements for the military and this happens in times of war. There is no war going on in the USA for there to be a need for citizens to own guns. The text also talks about regulations. There are very few regulations in place and gun ownership is very loose. As we both agree that's it is the government that call for it to supplement for the military as originally intended I wonder why Conservatives refuse to see it that way and are obsessed with weapons.

I know that you were not making a case for it. I understand the idea of the amendment too and it's just bonkers especially from the conservative side. It's all about profit.

It’s the same discussion that follows every school shooting and nothing changes, you see. Same old, same old.

AmazonTopaz:
"A well regulated militia"

Citizens are not well regulated militias.
Citizens should not be having access to guns. There is no war going on. Even when wars happen the citizens cannot overpower the government unless there is sabotage.

Citizens shouldn't be having access to guns. Simple. In Scotland, Australia they banned these and no gun violence. Europe is sane because that madness was done away with. It's common sense. The gun lobby exists for profits not to save lives or defend anything. No citizen can defend itself against the government apparatus so that's a silly reason for owning guns. Reduce the access to guns, heavily restrict it's use or better still ban it. Or more people will keep dying.

I hope the coming generations have the sense to do the right thing. It will never be well with the gun lobby for corrupting the 2nd Amendment..

A militia is an organization of armed citizens, that’s the definition of a militia. If citizens have no access to guns, they can’t form a militia, unless of course the government calls for it to supplement the military but they won’t do it to fight themselves, which the founding fathers intended to in the case of tyranny.

I am not making a case for gun ownership, just putting things in perspective.

AmazonTopaz:
Americans are evil. This gun epidemic needs to stop. People should not be easily accessing guns. How many must die for us to understand that this is not supposed to be a controversial opinion?

I believe that there are good and bad people everywhere.

The right to bear arms has its roots in the founding documents and made a lot of sense in these days as it was formulated to protect a young self-governing nation from tyranny. Whether it still serves a purpose is disputable. As it may be, there is no way the collective American psyche is ready to give up on this right. It is too deeply ingrained and a tradition, for some even a necessity. Stricter regulations is as far as any effort to prevent more loss of life can go but not in the next 2-4 years with a Republican House and Senate.

Meanwhile in Wisconsin, another school shooting. My heart goes out to the families who have lost a loved one, the students and teachers.

ObaIgwe1:
Study APC manifesto for Buhari's election in 2015. Brilliant ideas put together by Kayode Fayemi and others. Unfortunately Buhari does not possess the intellectual capacity to implement it. Then he surrounded himself with like-minds and his late chief of staff Kyari became the de facto leader. His presidency became a disaster. Part of me still think Buhari himself is not that greedy or corrupt, but he was an old analog leader in a digital world. Even his Accountant General was stealing billions right under his nose.

Before then, Babangida was given a brilliant working document, I think it was called Vision 20:2020, Greed and corruption failed them to implement it. Followed by Vision 2010 for Abacha, he only implemented small part of it. The only serious and willing among them with Vision 2020 was Yar'adua, unfortunately he got sick and died shortly after inauguration, and Jonathan didn't follow it up.

The point I was making is that, it is not our education or lack of brilliant ideas or knowledge that is failing us as IbeOkehie will want people believe, Nigeria and indeed Africa's failure is due to 3 reasons as Osinbajo put it:

1. Bad leadership
2. Bad Leadership and
3. Bad leadership.

When Africa start putting in place less greedy leaders and we develop a working and sincere institution to check and balance our leaders, Africa will progress at great speed, because Africa has an enormous resources not to be poor.

I agree with your comment that I first quoted but I don’t remember any great ideas Nigerian politicians have propagated. I agree that we have a lot of bright and talented minds but I haven’t encountered many among the political elites hence my question. I‘ll try to crave out some time to research the APC manifesto first. It would have been interesting to read what you thought of it in more detail but thanks for the recommendation.

IyaTola:
A delicate situation! It's essential to approach the conversation with empathy and honesty. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you have the conversation with your friend:

Before the Conversation
1. Reflect on your feelings: Understand why you feel your friend has overstayed their welcome. Is it due to financial constraints, personal space, or other reasons?
2. Choose the right time and place: Find a private and comfortable setting where you both feel relaxed. Avoid confronting your friend when they're stressed, anxious, or distracted.
3. Be prepared for different reactions: Your friend might become defensive, apologetic, or even relieved. Be patient, empathetic, and firm in your communication.

During the Conversation
1. Start with a positive tone: Express your appreciation for your friend and the value you place on your relationship.
2. State your concerns: Clearly explain how you feel, using "I" statements to avoid blame. For example:
- "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about your stay. I feel like it's been going on for a while, and I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed."
- "I appreciate you staying with me, but I need some space to focus on my own priorities."
3. Specify the issue: Avoid general statements like "You're overstaying your welcome." Instead, focus on specific issues, such as:
- "I'm finding it challenging to manage my finances with you staying here for an extended period."
- "I need some quiet time to study/work, and your presence is making it difficult for me to concentrate."
4. Offer support and alternatives: Show that you care about your friend's well-being and are willing to help. Suggest alternative solutions, such as:
- "I can help you find a new place to stay or provide some financial assistance to get you back on your feet."
- "We can still hang out and spend time together, but I need some space at home."

After the Conversation
1. Be firm but respectful: It's essential to maintain your boundaries while still being kind and compassionate.
2. Follow up on agreements: If you've discussed a plan for your friend to move out or find alternative arrangements, ensure you follow up on the agreed-upon timeline.
3. Re-evaluate the friendship: If your friend becomes defensive, dismissive, or uncooperative, it may be time to reassess the friendship and prioritize your own needs.

Remember that setting boundaries and prioritizing your own needs is essential for maintaining healthy relationships. Approach the conversation with empathy and assertiveness to ensure a constructive and respectful discussion.

Did you have ChatGPT type this for you?

ObaIgwe1:
Greed has no religion, or race or gender. It has nothing to do with your class of education or lack of it. The fact that The West has been able to build a system to check it while African is just preparing to build a system to check it does not mean it is not inherent in many individuals in the west. IMO, Trump, but for the check and balances in the American system is like a typical African leader, greedy and selfish.

Nigeria and indeed Africa is not in this backward state because they have no idea, education or knowledge of the way out. Many of the African Governments when coming to power have brilliant policies and programs to lift up their countries, but soon as they got to power, greed set in either directly from the leader himself or from most of the Government appointees, and with no systemic check, all the brilliant ideas get derailed.

IMO, you have little understanding of Nigeria and African history. South Africa education and economy advantage was developed long before 1990.

Any examples of these governments in Nigeria?

Asking yourself if you look weak means that you know that you aren‘t strong.

The issue should be settled between husband and wife in the first place.

Why is it that a thread for married men is littered with useless comments of single guys? Please! Take a break and let us learn from the ones who know what it is like to be married.

budaatum:
Can you imagine? If that stupid idiot approached where I was, people around will chase the mad person away.

And he would not understand why. That‘s the problem with stvpidity. The stvpid don’t know they are stvpid.

In my grandfather‘s times people understood the difference between educated and poorly educated. Today every idiot thinks they are Einstein because they have access to the internet. Welcome to the age of idiocracy.