₦airaland Forum

edimolu:
I trust you will...see you around

You too, goodnight.

Can you state the reason why you've never been in a real relationship?

Friendship definitely.

edimolu:
How will you, if person quote you with smiley, na straight face u go take reply, dey shine teeth small small na, and you are also quick to anger! ...your defences ehn, bring am down a notch biko..you and that poco gal..i swear life sweet no be small

Lol, correction taken. But that's how I'm in person I hardly smile. Lol.
°At bold, I'm working on it.

edimolu:
Makky, you won't understand...i have no business with her opinion but the brain that sprouts it...

We could talk about things that hold water, e.g...why are you always uptight with your words?

Really?
Am I uptight with my words? I swear I never noticed.

Tozara:
For a worthwhile reason, I'm sure.

My day was fine.

I really hope so.
Oh that's cool, see you around.

edimolu:
Lol...that one is an obvious dunce...she is an embarrasment to that age!

Alot of "adults and old pas" don't respect their ages on here so what is it? The fact that her opinion doesn't sit with you doesn't make her a dunce nau.

Rubysims:
Anyone can say anything he is not perfect but this man loves me. All these sad people saying 10 years this or that..this man will never leave me for anyone and I can confidently say that.

I was in school and I dont believe in children out of wedlock. Unlike some people writing rubbish I was raised well and won't dissapoint my parents.I was pursuing a career I'm not the woman that lives of a man. I want to help my partner too.. I admit I played a part in making him upset or nagging him.

Im sorry to dissapoint all these people name calling me, I will not birth children without a commitment. His sister's and people agree with me on this and commend me for wanting to do the right thing. His sister has begged her to remove it its just taking a pill as it has not formed yet. It takes 2 to Tango females should stop playing the victim. You take measures after a one night stand to prevent this it's not all the mans fault.

She is holding on to hopes she will have him. He told me that even if I dont stay he will never be with her. He has made it very clear to the lady but she wont get it through her head. Im sure now she is keeping it to get as much as she can. Women see expensive clothes, cars, watches. You dont know that another woman has made him that way. People like finished product sha.

Im sorry i'm not trying to cause division by saying yoruba . I have just heard stuff about women and men alike. I know everyone is not the same. I dont want to generalize. I just heard these girls use jazz a lot and trap men.they think pregnancy will make him stay and change his mind.

I can confidently say even if I dont end up with this man. Theres nothing he wont do for me even if he goes on to marry someone else. This is how tight our bond is. We are friends first and partners after.

It makes me sad seeing him sad and talking about how he has to deal with a baby he doesn't even want. He is also still in denial and says stuff like im working for my family which is you not for any woman or kid like that.

All these olodos insulting me on here. I told you my father is a millionaire I don't need any man. I'm good. I just wanted someone to help me reason as sometimes loves over powers common sense.

He is sure it will never happen again and he seems sincere about it. Most people just run from relationships with problems you will date someone new or marry it will be the same thing.

My heart is heavy and the trad is this year..im fighting within myself whether I should go ahead but I dont want to live without my bestfriend.

I dont even know if my family will accept this. He is scared to tell them about it....I know they will want me to walk.. Ive stayed with him even through the stigma of dating a nigerian..which is not really accepted back home.he doesn't even know how to tell his parents. I pray it's not his..he wants to wait until paternity is done before anything..but I think shes a smart girl she got pregnant and played her cards right

..i love nigerians guys im not trying to divide my best friend is an igbo lady and she wants me to walk and says I deserve and can do better.Maybe its her putting the anti yoruba thing in me

Babe, you're insulting people that took their time to read your epistle and decided to help you with advices? I weak oh.

VERDA:
She has lost a decade of her life?,from her write up in that decade she has done very well for herself,her degree,masters,great job,a lot of self devekooement and all....except of course you feel the value of a woman's life is measure by her being in a great relationship or being married,its just sad she is with a grown ass baby man.

Well, she has invested time, money, resource and emotion in that ten years and that's what I'm talking about. You'll feel bad you've wasted time in the wrong person all these while won't you?

And please, jeez I can't say a woman's life is measured by her being in a great relationship or being married lol that's a myopic and stupid reasoning. You misinterpreted.

edimolu:
Fixed that!

Am glad our thoughts are aligned

Okay then, and stop the prejudice about 19 year olds.

Daeylar:
Give Bayley new year break na LMAO ,
this is different year we cannor be behind this year you must watch and post in our thread




Well since that's your own opinion I don't mind.

I keep asking myself when did I and Bayley get to this, I used to like her then when she was tough and gave Charlotte a hard time, now it's just ddt and she's a dead vegetable.

Tozara:
Yeah. I hope you had a great day.

Yea abit stressful but okay, you?

Makeup for some weird reason.

Tozara:
Yeah, that's why I said friendship comes in different degrees. The problem is language---a lack of precise definition of the concept we're discussing, without any ambiguity.

Okay, we're on the same page then.

xedyl:
and what da heck stopped you from being impregnated?? serves you right gal.

Before I give op my two cents, I'll have to reply you.

What sort of very stupid comment is this? Aren't you the ones that go around insulting baby mamas? Didn't you read in her writeup that it's against her beliefs? Jeez!
Some comments you read daily you'll be wondering where they dropped their brains before logging in.

Bae, if you can't cope, you know what to do.

From your write up, he's irresponsible. Spending money on alcohol when hustling? Putting blames on you?
I know it's painful that you've lost a decade of your life. Marriage is a long term thing oo, can you cope?

Trust has been breached already. This trend has started and because you can forgive whatever gabbage he brings to the table, he'll bring more. And then, it would be too late because you're married. Don't let your sacrifices, wasted time and emotion cloud your reasoning. It's hard tho, easier said than done.

When you get married, the lady and her child becomes a part of your life whether you like it or not.

I'll advice you as a lady, don't give ashawo head if you love yourself lol.

Blackfyre:
Oh i get what you mean, that is a fact of life.

Yea, nice chatting with you.

Blackfyre:
Yes oh, life shapes? But i would say life brings the hurdles our choices shape the outcome. Some peeps are lucky enough to see things they learned from and feel guilty not to share to people who were never that lucky so they don't incur that much cost. Then again, everyone has a price to pay, i think.... What life will exclude from you won't be what it will exclude from me and vice versa. I think the most important thing is, we should never forget God in everything we do, as far as one believes in him.

I like the fact you said 'some' love, leaves the air of caution with it. For all the drama on NL, there's a lot one could learn from looking at it from certain angles.

Life shapes, if you were born in a rich home, you won't be as relaxed as someone born in a poor home would, will you? Life will shape you to a hustler and survivor. That's what I mean tho. But you're also right from your point.

Daeylar:
Sorry dear, lemme push you out (just joking )




From what I understand from what toara is saying,
I think he is saying that it's ridiculous to make blanket statements saying that no man can be platonic friends with a woman or vice versa (correct if I'm wrong and that's not what you were saying)
It's simply ridiculous, you cannot use your experience of people you know as an example then proceed to proclaim it as a rule or as the truth for every single person living on this earth, because that's what you're doing when you use words like all or none or no.
It just doesn't work.

It's myopic to say the least.

When I'm not vegetable Bailey.

I agree with you at bold, I feel the friendship must have gotten to a different level before you can start having feelings and not casual friendship. My own is, I'm against the best friend movement.

Tozara:
I do not disagree with your write-up. Like you said, it's exclusively about male besties. And neither do I deny that when you get close to a girl, you might start having feelings for her. The issue is with Mariinee's assertion that, in any boy-girl friendship, it's EITHER lust OR love. This makes no sense. And I'm not really particular about the PERCENTAGE of men who're like that---but saying the percentage of men who are NOT, is INSIGNIFICANT is an argument I won't accept.

A lot of things can lead to friendship, and even if a lady is not attractive or sexually appealing to you, does that stop you from becoming friends? And if you do become friends, why would you start developing feelings towards her, or lusting after her, when she's not your type of girl to begin with? Or is it being argued that a man would fall in love, or lust after any kind of girl at all, as long as they're close friends? Of course, there are some who would, but is that the case for all men? I have many female friends---close friends, not casual friends----but do not have any romantic affection for any of them, because my feelings are towards someone else. Doesn't this fact destroy her argument? It's very possible to keep females as close friends with no strings attached.

Another thing is that friendship is a spectrum, not a ladder with distinct, well-defined steps, so where does it begin and where does it end? We all know that friendship comes in different degrees---and even close friendship comes in different degrees, so the issue of male besties might be considered a special case - and indeed, for some, it may no longer be regarded as mere friendship. But we all have a general idea of what friendship is, and that's what I'm talking about here.

Oh okay, I missed it.

There are platonic friendship between the opposite sex but please it isn't common. And with all these talk, I've to make something clear. We're not talking about normal hello hy, what's up and bye friendship. We're talking of when two individuals get really close. Like when a guy or a lady has been best friendzoned.


Your second paragraph, you're right. You cannot say because I don't love this lady, I cannot be her friend. Maybe Lola didn't make her statement clear, I believe if you get to know your friend to an extent, like to a very high extent where you guys don't hide anything from each other and you classify yourselves as friends, then feelings will surely crop up. It may not be from you, it could be from the lady. It's possible to keep females as close friends, your definition of close may even defer from mine sha. But when they get too close, something do happen. It just depends on the degree of closeness.


As for best friend, I still take my stand.

Martin0:
Yeah it true!
I agree with you on this!

Please sorry for last night if I wan in anyway rude to you I only wanted you and I to understand each other and I believe u re not on it now!

No vex for last night ooo

Oh its okay.

I'm sorry for my harsh words too.

Blackfyre:
Yea you have a point but i was speaking in line of being the receiver, nowadays once the friction could get antagonistic i just bounce. I made the mistake of wanting to make people see things because i am convinced its the right way, but i think some of us just have to find out for ourselves irrespective of the cost that may be incurred along the way. To each his own.



To what you said, yeah, some may be feeble, some may be going through some stuff but then i have seen all things work together for good at the end at least for some people.

Yea everyone with the way they see life tho. Life has shaped us into what we're and what we believe in hence, different opinions.


Yea, we shouldn't stop showing some love.

Martin0:
I agree with you on platonic friendship or relationship!


But let me tell you something!

I ve been in a platonic relationship with one of my girlfriend and I ve no feelings for her till date!

But I remember she once told me she's beginning to love me,infact I was shocked but that doesn't mean am gay,infact she even accused me one time of being gay!

Infact most of her friends feels am gay but am not! I built the friendship btw me and her on strictly on "platonic relationship"

I repeat I don't ve feelings for her even when she's trying to force the feelings to come yet it not coming!

Though it rare to see a guy with the mindset of 100% on platonic relationship feeling will alway's come and it all depends!

But we're still on the same page. I said sometimes the guy may just want nothing more than friendship and the lady may start catching feelings.

Sorry guys but lemme butt in.


When I created a thread concerning this topic you all are currently arguing about, most of the guys agreed with me. We were on the same page nau, what happened? Why did you leave my page without telling me?!

https://www.nairaland.com/4025368/friendship-opposite-sex
Help yourself.

Tozara and edimolu, even in my writeup, I said, there will be some extremely rare occasions when the guy wouldn't even like us (the ladies) but then, being 80% emotional, we would start getting emotionally attached to the guys and we would start catching feelings.

Now it's left to the guy to see it as an opportunity to leave the friend zone or remain there. It's very very rare to see a guy and a girl being 100% platonic. Unless, the guy is gay, they're not compatible, both are not physically attractive or one is married and lastly, they're both in a relationship which isn't even an excuse because when you get close to an extent, you'll start catching feelings, one of you. You may not necessarily agree with my writeup tho, because I spoke exclusively about male besties.

Blackfyre:
I wouldn't care to consider that on NL generally, what will it matter.

Anyways, it takes a very strong heart to be that in reality. Best to take wisdom along too.

Your first statement tho, it matters a little. Some people are feeble. Try going savage on them and it'll hurt them emotionally. Not everyone has that tough skin.


Yea I agree with the last statement.

Ah! nezzar I just dey see your mention.

Later nai babe say “stupidity I need your help”

I asked, what help do you need?

Lmao. This got me.

Blackfyre:
Powerful message on your dp, you can be genuinely all that?

Yea, I can try.

It's not a cakewalk being all that on nl, but I can try. Everyday we learn to be a better person and help ourselves. Good morning.

Blackfyre:
It's okay you sort of answered my question anyways.

Will edit my posts out, gracias.

Do get well...

Okay dear, goodnight.

ChiefPiiko:
You can educate him albeit at your spare time, you don't have to come off as impatient dear

Okay.