₦airaland Forum

MM Review: The Royal Hibiscus Hotel Is A “Money Fixes All” Hilarious Romance

Have no doubt, this movie is life. From picture quality to casting and story, I had a thrill time watching. While my roaming eyes noticed some slips here and there which I’d mention, allow me first express my satisfaction. Ebonylife Films redeemed themselves with the Royal Hibiscus Hotel. This is in fact my very first movie of 2018!

While the movie undoubtedly leads us through the life of a couple who will eventually “love happily forever”, I particularly saw how money was the target and propellant of the conflict of the story as well as the conflict’s resolution.

The comic scenes were well thought out with the intent of not just cracking us up but connecting the dots in the whole plot of the movie. I did not have to endure irrelevant scenes and at the end of the movie, I did not feel as though I was robbed of precious time.


Now to the little slips I observed:

If my eyes didn’t hurt, I thought I saw the microphone attached to Zainab Balogun’s dress in one of the scenes. Also, we are certain that Opeoluwa returned to Lagos as landmarks like the Civic Centre, the Lekki- Ikoyi bridge and the Murtala Mohammed Airport are proof but when Opeoluwa goes to her friend’s place to cool off after discovering the sale plot, she mentions that she might return to Lagos to get a job. Lagos? I thought she was in Lagos? If she wasn’t, we should have been stylishly informed just as they informed us that she had returned to London.

Ultimately, Critics like myself have very little to worry about with watching this NOLLYWOOD movie. It is the dream of every single Naija babe and quote me anywhere.

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MM Reviews: Sunday Evenings, Post Heartbreak And Two Tickets To See “Getting Over Him” Directed By Desmond Elliot

Genre: Romantic Comedy
Sunday’s movie date to see Uduak Isong produced and Desmond Elliot directed movie, Getting Over Him was a little laced with excitement. The winner of my Mamazeus Movie Freak competition was my movie buddy and we had a bunch of laughs that gave me the right vibe to write this week’s review. CHECK OUT pictures from our evening out.

Verdict
8/10

I loved this movie for a couple of reasons ranging from the fact that the story was very relatable. If you have been heart broken, you would definitely see through the vulnerable, defensive and aggressive lens of the major character, Mimi.

If you have had the misfortune of getting heart broken by the proverbial ‘Yoruba Demons’, laughing and hurting simultaneously through the antics of Kenny won’t be far fetched. If you are a per time (hormonal induced) pervert like myself, you might end up licking the screens when Thomas displays his taunt behind and well toned body. I am trying to say that the movie suits everyone but kids.

Synopsis
Mimi finds out her boyfriend has been two timing and she may have been the side chic. Heartbroken she finds solace in a blog that takes her on a step by step guide to finding love again. GETTING OVER HIM stars Majid Michel, Deyemi Okanlawon, Matilda Obaseki, Bimbo Ademoye, Olive Emodi. Produced by Uduak Oguamanam and directed by Desmond Elliott.

I think the above would suffice. There really isn’t much to this comedy that we haven’t pointed out. Maybe for the part where Mimi discovers that Thomas has been the heartbreak blogger whom she had so freely opened her heart to after her bitter breakup with Kenny. The movie is pretty straight forward and a good way to laugh.

Review
I must commend the plot progression as well as the nice twist and how it played out quite nicely- Mimi discovers that Kenny has been cheating through his side chic,they agree to play him his game and finally how Mimi learns to love again in the arms of Thomas.

What better way to get over a heartbreak than getting hitched to a stunningly rich guy who sharpely moves you from prepaid to postpaid?

I also like how the nemesis is introduced. I would have imagined that Kenny (Deyemi Okanlawon) would be out of the picture but I admire how we are informed that he loses a vital document required for a business deal in the breakup drama.

I think this is the movie if you are looking to catch up on an uncomplicated Nollywood comedy with a STORY LINE. None of the cardinal points go overboard except that it left me with an unshakable sexual tension that I have been looking to the heavens to take away. Ultimately, you should see this movie. My Igbo mind is saying maybe not at the cost of N2500 but who cares?

My two points is not me being stingy but me calling out Silverbird SEC cinemas for their poor services. The lighting in the cinema hall was nothing to write home about. It made the movie look like they had used a backyard camera and don’t get me started on the sound. Too loud at a point then too low. Whoever was behind the curtains needs to settle scores with me! Then the chairs? Very uncomfortable. Silverbird cinemas should get a revamp and quick!

http://mamazeus.com.ng/2018/01/29/mm-reviews-getting-directed-desmond-elliot/

MM Reviews: ‘The Blindspot’ Starring Rita Dominic & Femi Jacobs

It is always a delight to see Rita Dominic and Femi Jacobs in a movie (the two have bad-ass onscreen chemistry) and that notion prompted my desire to see The Blindspot.
Now in all honesty, I doubt anything that is poorly introduced. After seeing an Instagram clip of the trailer, I made up my mind that I was going to kick off the MM Review year with the movie. However, the first piece of online material ( synopsis) about the movie gave me the impression that whoever the producer of the movie was did not pay attention to detail and finishing. See what I mean:

[img][/img]

Another Synopsis culled from YouTube for the official trailer:

“The Blindspot” movie is a hilarious romantic-comedy that will keep you glued to your sit till the last scene. Suspense filled, love, betrayal, family values and funny. Love never seems so bitter. Directed by Igunwe Alfred Otaniyuwa”.

Dear readers, I would have you know that the above synopses are a far cry from the theme of the movie, the conflict or resolution.

Fact Synopsis

The Blindspot, directed by Alfredido is a tragedy (it ends with the death of the major character). The movie revolves around Ayomide (Femi Jacobs) whose raging libido makes him engage in premarital sex few weeks to his wedding. His bride, Rita Dominic (I am having a hard time spelling the character’s name) is a firm believer in abstinence till the wedding night and ensures her man keeps his end of the bargain ( taunting him does not make it any easier).

A quick and quite convenient trip to Dubai for a quick shopping ahead of the wedding was all that was required to get Ayomide comfortable with a hooker(Etinosa Idemudia) who falls in love/lust for him and is left heart broken when she learns he is to be married in a few weeks. In a moment of anger, she spits:

“May your little man take a very long bow at the sight of a pussy”
Ayomide’s predicament follows shortly. Months into the marriage, he is faced with what is probably every man’s biggest fear- not being able to have an erection.

Frustrated and feeling betrayed, his bride leaves the marriage to spend some time with her grandmother (after she discovers his brief rendezvous) and alas, we find a twist to the story- Her grandmother had placed a spell on her that caused men to never have erections around her in a bid to protect her from rape (The bride’s mother was raped and died during childbirth).

While they try to undo the spell, an already demoralized Ayomide attempts to plead with the hooker to remove the spell which he assumes was placed on him by the hooker’s statement, loses his job because he refuses to share some of his powerful “little man” with his boss’s daughter and ultimately kills the hooker and her drug addict boo before taking his own life.

Casting
Rita Dominic, Femi Jacobs, Etinosa Idemudia, Rachael Oniga among others.

Review
Ordinarily, the story plus the above mentioned cast would have been the formula for zero hissing commendation, however, I have been left with no other choice than to say it as it hurts.

The movie reminded me so much of how you pump in a lot of money without paying attention to detail then end up complaining that things should have mapped out better. For one, whoever the sound engineer was should be given one million strokes. In almost all the scenes, the soundtracks overrode the voice of the characters so much that at a point, I was not quite sure if I was listening to rhythm or words.

Another on my check list was how the story played out. The excessive use of the time-lapse effect made me feel dizzy and gave the movie a very unrealistic feel. I insist on stating at this point that if a scene looks too difficult to accomplish based on the sentiments of the actor (which only happens in Nollywood), I think the scriptwriter should find a way to restructure the scene and not gamble with the audience’s patience for mediocrity. Common! The hooker/stripper had on a very appropriate looking dress and could not even convince me that she had any stripper skills except if I am to call that marine spirit ritual dance, a new Nigerian stripper style.

I’d give kudos to the sex scene. it was BRILLIANT to use silhouettes to play it out.

What I failed to introduce in the synopsis is the character of the ‘Man in Suit’ who apparently controls the tragic end of the fated lovers. The Man in Suit was a character of convenience. The story appeared to be headed to an easy closure and the script writer thought “Oh, how about I add this character to give my audience a weird feeling”. He succeeded albeit leaving a bad taste in my mouth and my movie companions of course!

The Man in Suit is seemingly a fallen angel who goes on and on about how he has watched the daughters of Eve deceive men with their beauty and how Ayomide’s bride was fated to break numerous hearts before getting married. The movie ends with a warning to “Beware of the Man in Suit….”

I forgot to add that getting an A4 paper isn’t so hard. They should never have settled for a sheet from a jotter to suffice for a test result.

Verdict
Needless to say that I was disappointed! I need a refund of my N1500 and I need it fast! This movie gets a

4/10

www.mamazeus.com.ng

[center]MM Review: “Wives On Strike The Revolution”[/center][/b]


I started writing my review for ‘Wives On Strike The Revolution’ say 45 minutes ago. It usually doesn’t take this long but for reasons ranging from trying to control my excitement from slipping through my intro, I have had to clear over a hundred times!

I am excited to announce that ‘Wives On Strike The Revolution’ is the best Nollywood movie of 2017 and I say this with all sense of seriousness.

I confess I had my fare share of misgivings and almost turned around when I was asked to vomit N2500. I had sworn to tag Omoni Oboli and ask for a refund if the movie did not meet my expectation however, It appears that Omoni has finally payed attention to critics as this movie far exceeds all of her previous works ( according to reviews) and definitely beats my expectation of a sequel.

[b]Synopsis
Unfortunately, I missed the first ‘Wives on Strike’ but from reviews, I don’t think it did that well. After watching the sequel, I regret not watching the first part.

In the revolution, the market women come together to protest a victim of domestic violence. Mama Beatrice is accidently murdered by her husband who attempts to cover up his crime. Unfortunately, his young daughter, Beatrice who witnessed the killing of her mother reveals the truth to Mama Ngozi (Omoni Oboli). Releasing a movie themed around Domestic Violence in my opinion was a very smart move by Omoni and her team considering that it was a 5 Star rated topic all year round.

The market women led by the Iyaloja (Sola Sobowale) engage the state government by enforcing the famous strike of refusing their men sex aka Jangolova. To read more, CLICK

Casting
The cast of ‘Wives On Strike The Revolution’ is an impressive array of Nollywood’s finest talents and for the first time since the beginning of 2017’s Nollywood releases, I absolutely have nothing to say about the skills showcased in the movie.

It was a glorious sight to see Omoni Oboli, Sola Sobowale, Uche Jombo, Kenneth Okonkwo, Chioma Akpotha, Odunlade Adekola, Toyin Abraham, Julius Agwu, Ufuoma Mcdermott, Chigurl even Elvina Ibru among others.

It would be total falsehood if I claim to have a favorite character as every single actor featured in this movie was on their A+ game however I have some favorite scenes.

Scenes featuring Chigurl and Odunlade, Scenes featuring Julius Agwu. I was so excited to see the veteran comedian back on his feet after his brush with death.

Action/Suspense
‘Wives on Strike The Revolution’ is a comedy directed by Omoni Oboli and I dare say, finally a comedy with some sense. Feel Free to compare with my review of The Wedding Party 2 . Despite the fact that I laughed so hard and smeared my mascara, I left the cinemas with the message imprinted in my heart.

The movie progression was also top-notch. Starting off with the announcement of Mama Beatrice death, to the women rallying around to support the victim’s kids, I enjoyed how it developed to them discovering who the actual killer was before progressing to their hilarious zero Jangolova Strike to drive home their point on the state government’s stand on creating laws that discourage spousal abuse. The script writer was well aware that we needed to get to the point of the strike but he/she let us grow into it and not shove it down our throats.

Since adding ‘abroad’ scenes was principle in 2017 Nollywood production budget, I expected that once again, the market women would find themselves abroad for a random and undefinable reason, I was wrong. The women were invited to London for a girl child summit which pretty much makes a lot of sense.

Asides domestic violence, the issue of women supporting women, men feeling emasculated by wives taking superior roles outside the home was trashed out hilariously in this amazing screenplay.

Did I mention that the video quality was amazingly impressive? Omoni put her money in all the right places.

But…

I noticed just this lack of satisfaction with the scene where the supposed Governor of Lagos State gives a public address. The set was pretty much not up to standard. I would have expected to see a fancy looking background befitting of a governor’s office and not two funky looking flags.

There was a bit of adverts here and there that sort of raised my eye brows. The adverts were put out so craftily that I felt just the same way I feel when discovering that a product has been advertised to me in a Hollywood production- Subtle yet so loud but for the Tony Elumelu foundation scene. It was rather too in my face that an advert was underway…Lastly, nobody drinks half a glass (cup) of Nunu milk with a plate of rice ohh…



A Word of Advice…
Don ‘t let 2017 end without you seeing this movie.

Verdict
By now you already know how I feel about this movie. I could spend another N2500 on the movie, it is absolutely worth it! In my opinion, this is the best movie to crown 2017. I am so certain you will enjoy it so much that I can offer you a REFUND if you don’t agree.

It gets my 8-10!!

www.mamazeus.com.ng

MM Review: “The Wedding Party 2”

For weeks now “The Wedding Party 2” has got me feeling like a full grown adult in desperate need of a toilet. Call it excitement but I’d prefer the word anxiety.

I did not want to expect too much but with the whole buzz, I sort of gave in to the excitement. The 15th never felt so long! You wouldn’t blame yours sincerely, Banky W and Adesua Etomi’s fairy tale wedding officially made the money they would have used for PR, the movie sold itself. Little wonder I spent money for two movies and a chilled drink to watch one and still can’t figure out why I spent so much.

The Wedding Party 2 is a sequel which everybody knows already so I would spare us the hardship. However, this sequel is strictly COMEDY!

Casting
I will laud the production team for bringing together the right blend of talents. Every member of the cast played their role extraordinarily. I tried hard to spot any kind of sloppiness from the actors and safe to say, I waited in vain. My favorite actors include:

Frank Donga– The man just took my breathe away. To think that he is Yoruba further convinces me of his theatrical expertise. He was speaking Igbo like he was born with an OJI (Kolanut) in his mouth.

Chigurl- She featured in a one minute scene and left a huge impression on me. She is magical!

Michael De Pinna– He played the role of the obnoxious, condescending royal snub father of the bride and I loved how he interpreted the character and his British accent.

My Worst Actor- Whoever played the role of the grand Mother of the bride. You can’t convince me that the she wasn’t reading her lines off a teleprompter. It felt so artificial.

Action/Suspense

A fine learned gentleman in the Humanities once told me that a comedy is way difficult to produce than any other genre however, it grinds my bones when Nollywood makes comedies and focus too much on making the audience laugh as opposed to constructing an impeccable story. I also find it hard to understand why we always have to improvise. If a part of the script is unavailable, simply change it!

With that being said, allow me say that the movie was nothing close to the first Wedding Party except that more money was bumped into it. A lot of attention was put into spelling COMEDY that they paid little attention to continuity and common, they couldn’t find a new born baby in the whole of Dubai?

The progression of the story failed to painstakingly reach a climax, it ended up feeling like I was in a roller coaster of scenes and before I could spell WEDDING, the movie had reached and crashed its peak- Climax.

Understandable if they try to convince me that they repeated that the wedding between the lovers happened in nano- seconds but it is a movie guys, not a series. Events have to follow a realistic process before climax. One second, we are in Dubai for a wedding, the next we have multiple dramatic conflicts and the next second, Dunni (Adesua Etomi) ‘s water breaks. I still can’t get over how a new mom can look so set after having twins and sorry crew, that baby boy looked a tad bit too old to be newly pushed out!

A Rant-Like Advice…

Ebony Films, the last time I saw a fake Nollywood bump was in 2002 ( when they still used folded wrapper). This was supposed to be a high profile movie, the biggest movie of 2017. The least you guys could have done was give us a believable bump with a NAVEL but no, it had to look like these N1500 fake butts with a ready to wear mission of disgracing its wearer.

Verdict

I’d rate this movie a 5/10

www.mamazeus.com.ng (Nollywood reviews)

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I am writing this because I feel it's high time I shared this story with other people. Secondly, we have heard so much from the female folks on heartbreak issues, but hardly any stories from the guys. Ok, enough of the preamble, let’s go straight on to the crux of the matter… This is my story!
Though I have been in few relationships in my short life, I have had my own fair share of heartbreaks but I will be talking about just one of them today; the one that really shattered me!
I don’t think I was a late bloomer, but I had zero sexual experiences at 25. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a recluse. I was an extroverted extrovert, I had fun, went clubbing, traveled, attended social events, was always at the beach. I knew every karaoke joint in town,and every bar in popular demand. Due to my upbringing( being a minister’s son), I stayed true to some lofty ideals of the Christian religion: no drinking, no smoking, no sex before marriage. I’m not saying I’m a saint, but I do my best to keep the commandments. Let’s fast forward to my third year in the University of Lagos, the genesis and Jane, the nemesis.
We actually met on Facebook (I still regret the day I clicked on that friend request button), but I later found out we were in the same faculty, same department, though she was in Year two while I was in Year three at the time .
Fusing together was like fish to water, our relationship was bliss. We were so connected; she could understand me without even saying a word. She was all I ever wanted, she met all my specifications; she was moderately endowed with the right curves in the right places, 34-28-36! She was beautiful, she was smart, she was hard-working, she loved God, she was neat, she was tidy and her dress sense was impeccable.
Let me borrow some of the words of the Legendary 2Face from the timeless song, African Queen and say that “I poured my heart, my soul, my body and my money and every other thing you could think of” into the relationship. I thought I had found my soul-mate. We did practically everything together. She was so perfect. She could look into my eyes and tell me what I was thinking. We had planned the perfect wedding and honeymoon scenarios countless times complete with all her favourite colours and none of mine. She lived at Satellite Town, while I lived at Isolo, but we endeavoured to see each other frequently even during the holidays. I was head over heels in love. As far as I was concerned , God had shone his perfect loving kindness on us or so I thought.
I had an extra year in school because of her, so we ended up graduating together. University days were over and we were still going on strong. I was posted to Benue state for my NYSC while she was posted to Lagos. I made sure I came back to Lagos every month to see her throughout service year. NYSC was over, couple of months later, I got a job and we started putting things in place for our imminent wedding. She also got a job in a Bank, but decided to quit in order to start her own business. I was very supportive of her dreams so I took it upon myself to help her raise money. I was able to raise a total of N600,000 to kick off the business out of which N400,000 came from my personal funds. What was I to lose? I was going to marry her anyway. It was a Fashion/Ushering/Modelling business which was doing fairly well.
We had the picture perfect relationship for three years; no issues, no quarrels, everything was going according to plan. On her twenty-fifth birthday, we had just finished watching a movie at Silverbird Galleria around 10pm and we were supposed to be heading home, then she said she had a surprise for me, that we should stay at a hotel for the night. Ok. I was curious, but I wasn’t surprised because this wasn’t the first time we were going to sleep over at a hotel. I like to change my scenery from time to time, it helps me think. To cut the long story short, we landed in a hotel, I was about to sleep when she blurted the news that she wanted us to have sex. I reminded her about our decision to leave it off until we were married, but she insisted that she didn’t want to remain a virgin after her twenty-fifth birthday. I was scared, simply because I didn’t have an idea what to do. At this point, I wished I had paid more attention to porn. So we started with the little you know, kissing, cuddling and heavy petting. Then we tried to have sex, but largely due to my inexperience , everything seemed difficult. After several attempts, we finally gave up and agreed that maybe God didn’t want us to have it yet.
Several months passed and we were already discussing picking dates for our introduction. Now, we had learnt more about sex, so we won’t have a repeat of what happened previously, on our wedding night. It was something we would always laugh about whenever we talked about it. Then suddenly, the bad symptoms started.
She suddenly became very busy. She would hardly return my calls, She would travel for days without telling me. Then she finally just seemingly disappeared. I didn’t see her at all for weeks, Her phones were not going through and I was scared to my marrow. I thought maybe something had happened to her. I went to her place and all her things were still there.
I was fast losing it; I was visiting her place every day and asking everyone that knew her. Then after a few weeks of searching desperately for my heartthrob, I got a text message from her which just said… “I’m gone – T.O”. What does this mean? I kept trying to wrap my head around the incredibly overwhelming phrase till a friend of hers finally opened up and told me she had relocated to Ibadan. "Iba….what?? When? How? What for "?
My mind was racing, my head was aching, I couldn’t take it all in. It went from bad to worse when she showed me a devastating picture on Facebook. It was a wedding and the bride was Jane. Jane was already married? I was shivering. How did all this happen? How can this happen? When did all this happen? Where was I? I didn’t even have a clue. Can Jane be so cruel? I wasn’t myself for several weeks; I would look at her wedding pictures and just cry and cry. I couldn’t even cope at work, so I had to quit.
My heart was broken in a gazillion pieces. I went down the reckless lane and became involved in several deeds less than noble. My life was shattered and it took a whole lot to get me back on my feet and get another job. I have since buried myself in a pile of work, books, blogs and charity/community volunteering. I’ve also gotten involved in a lot church activities, joined the choir, cleaning group, and IT department. More active in my church duties, so much I was made one of the Youth-Leaders for the youth arm of my church.
I used to be an extroverted socialite, now I prefer solitude. Though I take the occasional solo trips here and there from time to time, to unwind, to draw, to sketch, to write, to think and also have fun.
I have since moved on, but I still hope to meet her one day, I need her to look me in the eye and tell me why??

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