₦airaland Forum

Naijasinglegirl:
'Release my future husband'

I went for a walk one evening when I caught sight of a poster with that inscription.

It was a campaign for a prayer house.
Whoever was behind it must have thought of me.
It seemed an encounter with the prophet was just what Naijasinglegirl needed to take her relationship to the next level.

The venue was a remote village in Abia State.
I copied out the address and made plans to attend.

I arrived at the prayer house on a Friday evening. The 'Release my future husband' programme was scheduled to run on Saturday and Sunday.

I stood with my hand luggage at the entrance of the rusty looking building, reluctant to get inside until one ratchet looking dog emerged from the bush and chased me in.

My joy knew no bounds when a tall, light skinned and handsome guy in a flowing kaftan strode into the building.
He looked like a Igbo angel.
I became lovestruck! I kept staring at him until the caretaker dragged me to my lodge.

I couldn't wait to see him again.

The next day, I ransacked my clothes, looking for the perfect outfit to stun him.
I eventually decided to go natural for him. (I heard the Igbos like that a lot)
I settled for a flare gown, no make up, packed my hair in two and wore a flat sandals.
The congregation was ninety percent adults and ten percent kids.
My prince charming was seated at the middle row when I confidently walked in to meet him. As I made to seat beside him, the prophet's wife who doubled as the head usher told me to follow her.
This woman took me right to the front, by the prophet's altar where a mat was spread out for kids/babies.

"Sit here!" she ordered me.
I started pleading with her that life is not all about big boobs, that I'm an adult in spite of my baby's face, hairstyle and dressing.
My argument had distracted everyone.

"SILENCE!!!"

The prophet screamed while he rang his bell three times.
I had no choice but to obey the powerful looking prophet as I settled on the mat with "the real kids"
The embarrassment was more than I could take.
As soon as the service was over, I walked out angrily with intentions never to return for the next day service.

Then I saw him again.
The humiliation I felt suddenly disappeared.
I swore I was going to get him the next day.

The following day I paid extra attention to my appearance.

I threw on a body hug red gown.
No colour in my makeup bag was spared!
No way I was going to be mistaken as a kid.
I vowed to show them 'shege'.
The prophet was standing by the entrance of the building when I causally walked in.
"Nne bia" he beckoned at me.
"You mean you are here for a husband too?" He spoke in Igbo.

"Yes!" I replied while I walked in.

This time around, I didn't see my prince charming so I sat at the extreme, patiently waiting for him.
My makeup made me the cynosure of all eyes.
Thirty minutes into the service, it was deliverance time.
The prophet suddenly began vibrating like a 3310 towards me.
I wanted to run away out of fear but his wife and her clique had completely encircled me...all of them were vibrating around me like a freshly beheaded chicken.
"If you can't beat them, join them" In order for sanity to reign, I had to respect myself and fall down under the nonexistent anointing.
My plans didn't work as they kept on ringing a bell in my ears and reciting strange things in a bid to deliver me from a demon.
How could I blame them when my appearance depicted a demon?

I stylishly began to wipe my juju makeup. That didn't help either.

"Tell my son to bring the holy water" the prophet commanded.

I opened my eyes slightly only to realize his son was my Igbo angel.

He had joined them to betray me.
"Sprinkle it on her!" he instructed his son.
"Don't do this to me, don't do this, I love you" I spoke in whisper but my pleas seemed to anger his son more.

"The demon is making this small girl think she needs a husband. She thinks this place is for children''
The prophet muttered between his prayers.

Each time I attempted to roll out of my circle and run away, the women increased the intensity of their vibration.

An idea came at last.

I began to "confess" to everyone.

I pleaded for forgiveness, accepted that I'm a child possessed by a demon and I promised never to do it again.

That was when the prophet declared I had been delivered. The entire congregation cheered him including his Judas son.I quickly ran out, grabbed my luggage. Minutes later, I was in a Peace Mass Transit vehicle out of Abia State.
Nothing can ever take me to a prayer house again. Ever!

Culled from: http://www.naijasinglegirl.com

ntoor...ashawo

make i go wash plate first.....i dey come back

Lovetinz:
That is if she has not replaced you yet. If she has gotten another lover, you are history.

ladies r always with multiple boyfriends.

Every boy unknowing are fightiing to be on number 1.

Bro dont kill urself becos of a woman

Aikon:
Have you seen her in bikini before?
She shared this on instagram

[img]http://1.bp..com/-Sd0VtzXocyo/VEz9bFRTN3I/AAAAAAADw9w/jATC7Q6ZC6s/s1600/2.png[/img]

abeg go wear wrapper make u cover ur smelling toto...

Tweeeeeeaaaaaaaa!.....spits

lezz:
why haven't i thought of this. Thanks a zillion, let the e-war begin.

abeg share the thread for me make i join you fight them like spartacus and crixus

cokacoola:
as am typing me this right now, am rolling down with tears i have been dating this girl for 5years now, yextaday i went to see her pple after the introduction, i was resting in my car when one old woman came to me and told me that madness runs in the family of my girlfriend , that her father and two of her brothers die of madness even some of her relation are currently mading, after hearing this i burst into tears and went to ask my girlfriend..she comfirm everything saying that she has been waiting for the right time to tell me...... pls i need urgent advice on this, should i contiune or not??

make i go wash plate first.....if i finish i go come advise you,

majorfarms:
I asked for ur advice not ur beration...uv gotta learn the difference bro. Say how u handle urs not give me a lecture on my flaws, don't u think I alrdy know my flaws?...tnx anyways.

hahaha.....ignore her after i might have sang the problem to her and she continually refuse to correct herself.

I believe i speak up i might destroy her with my tongue of lashing words. So i keep quite, ignore her for her brains to let her know that she must change. But it doesnt pass 24 hours. People may it is childish but i cant be exchanging words with a woman like children does. U know women wont allow u defeat them with words. They are expect.

So bro, cripple ur woman with silent treatment. Dont give her attention anymore. it kills her more atomic bomb. For her to survive she will plead with you and beg u dat she will change.

make i go wash plate first. I dey come back to come read am

lezz:
hi, mukina2, i know this is hardly the place or time. But i must appeal your hasty bann of me in the political section. That was too harsh.......till 15th November.

My crime was just being a patriotic Nigerian and i gave as much as i was receiving. Now the Ghanaians and Southies are doing a double tag team partners on Nigeria in that thread.


Release me or shorten my ban, the real reason i ever signed up to nairaland is to put the Ghanaians and southies in their places.

Release a patriot to serve Nigeria.

oga no dey beg all these moderators jor, u dey let them feel as if them be god. Nonsense!

Open a new gmail......create a new account different or similar to the one ban and you are good to go,


na advice i say make i advise you. Oya go do am and deal with those gaynas and pear headed shiiiiiit africans. Oya

ijechikky:
Bcz of futbal?

Nnah,u Nuh see me

u for don chop my money now oooo

ijechikky:
yes let's bet..

200$

mine is from £50, 000. Can afford it?

mumurihno packing the bus as usual..



Yeye man!

mata......di maria!......goooooooooaaaaaalllllll



















not yet.








Abeg how minutes remain oooo

ijechikky:
FYM!!

Xo u fink say Man-u go fit score 4dis match??
Let's watch nd see..

LAY!


Manutd go score....make we bet am? Set money

GOOOAAAALLLLLLLLLL




















di maria





















not yet........please hold on for a while

[quote author=]Gbes!
Chelse e dobale!
Aiit, e fo soke!
Gbes!
E fi oro le!
Aiit, e la enu sile!
Gbes!
E gboju mbe!
Aiit!
E duro mbe!
Last Bullet
Becos, Chelsea go lose o!
Manchester United go win o!
Mourinho go vex o!
Yeah, I m highly gingered right now. Origin Bitters is working wonders in my life.[/quote]chelshiiiiiit.....die die die die die die....fall down and die!

nationwide1:
I had a similar experience in July in my office. One of the female interns walked into my office and in my usual way of playing nice to all, I asked how her day had been and she pointed to abdomen and I thought she had abdominal pain but she said it was hunger. I kindly gave her money for lunch. Guess what? Before she finished her internship training, she approached me with many problems. I neither asked her out nor dated her. I didn't give her money because I could solve all her problems or wanted to date her. I had been doing same to other interns, male or female. I was spellbound. I simply told her no because I sensed her taking advantage of my kindness. So my brother, walk away fast.

tanx bro, its quite pathetic these days when ladies tend to see guys' kindness as a means to milk him dry.

Am running already

gooooooaaaaaallllllllll

























not yet.....please hold on

xynerise:
Di Maria should calm down

antelope how far?

This match will end 1 - 0. In favour of manuted

Baddo101:
u need to open a new thread for this topic. however dat doesnt mean she cannot make a good wife. iys just dat d risk involved in marring such. sti's,never satisfied wth d spouse, probability dat she could av gotten a damged womb due to excessive abortion as a result of too much Bleep....etc.

lol....u can open it. Wat u said here its true.

All ladies (alhaja or born again) will never marry a man that lost the functioning of his pe..nis due to accident.

But they want men to manage their deepened pussies. Double standard!

Jennimma:
hmmmmm...my sister,make i talk true,dis kain tin na im dey reign now o. These days,people overlook white wedding. To them they believe that the trad guarantees them to have sex. I mean after the payment of dowry,these guys impregnate their wives believing they've paid for her and they have every right to her body.
Most times,which is the case,they want to "test drive" to know if the woman is fertile.
My uncle i held in high esteem did it cos he is always giving me relationship advice. He married June but his wife gave birth this month. *drops pen*

that is the tradition of yoruba.....no pregnancy no church wedding.

@op, what if as a man i discovered her over-used, constant fvvcking, fvckable pusssy has become very wide, even d biggest deeeek wont get friction, everything seem like a big well.

And she wants me to marry her, should i marry her?

chibwike:
Lol....dats what u would have said since

no mind her

evegran:
LoL. OP if you're scared, runaway then. It is wrong of her tho, she's painting herself wrongly.

u r correct.....

U stay in abuja?

MzPreshie:
Seriously? Love her enough to buy her a phone? Dude said he's known her for just one week and you talk about love? And besides, he didn't say he has professed love or wooed her yet.

i have not toast her. It still a surprise to me..

slickblaze:
Your own is better. Very soon, NDE would be integrated to NYSC and it will be a must for every graduate to pay what ever they demand.

Even if you get a job in a forein firm, before you are extablished in the firm to be able to take some decision, your fellow Nigerian wwould have dealt with you seriously. Its jealousy. A Nigerian thing. They would remind you the amount you will be earning to ensure you cooperate

my brother you are so on point. Nigerians have wicked and jealousy spirit.

If you managing something small they will become extremely jealous of you.

Even if they are not your level and you try to be humble and free with them, they will backstab you.

I dey fear our people oooo. Whether na north, south east or east, na d same thing them be.

Enemies of progress everywhere!

MillionDollars:
TONTO DIKE is back to take her place on NAIRALAND, GO and DIE TIWA SAVAGE :p

tonto decay has vowed to replace lina ikeja too. Number 1 spot on nairaland mumu news

Genea:
lol,abeg na bikonu

guess correctly how much is in my bank account and the phone is yours.

Hawlahscho:
If you have d money buy her and stop giving her attention, do it as if she is a guy (frnd). then ignore and continue wt your life and if you can't do it, tell her directly (I don't av money for now) and watch her body language.


simple life

if i have the money but am not buying it. Lesson learnt from jide

kershley:
no be small thing! i tolerate dis kind of thing.Evil bitches giving a bad impression of women!

kershley i like you. You speak with a lot of sense, very mature.


If i tell you my own case, you will be move by tears.
Some bad treatment by some guys to ladies are caused by the ladies they have met before.

Imagine a guy showing true love to a girl, and the girl decided to make him a foooool.

That is how it is

OkikiOluwa1:
Hm!
Last Bullet
You are claiming eye for an eye, it serves him right talks!
You v forgotten that the wages of sin is death. If not death, calamity. You didn't consider that the guy might not v cheated on a girl before. Innocent people do fall victims.
Your case dey heaven!

correct talk

gbes!

Ladies and their pros.titue behaviour

aiiit

the guy is obviously an innocent guy that didnt cheat.

Gbes! Gbes!


The ladies has been fvcking other guys without the boy's knowledge

gbes!


Last condom

op settle police money like 6k, show them the receipt, make you collect ur phone.


Too many pros.titutes these days posing as girlfriends. God forbid bad thing

MzPreshie:
Seriously? Love her enough to buy her a phone? Dude said he's known her for just one week and you talk about love? And besides, he didn't say he has professed love or wooed her yet.

i have not toast her. It still a surprise to me..