₦airaland Forum

The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With.




Love is a tricky thing.

 It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it’s the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with.




The pain of being in Love with someone you can never be with.


It’s odd how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. But that’s what makes love so beautiful – it’s the closest thing to perfection that exists in the world, the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil, beautiful and ugly.


It’s the closest thing to a flawless whole that man has ever claimed to have been part of.


When we think of love, we think of the happy kind of love, the kind that is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life.


There is, however, another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never and will never have.


It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.


Contrary to popular belief or popular wishful thinking, love doesn’t always end happily. It doesn’t always result in the joining of two people, the fusing of two lives into one.



Sometimes, on rare occasions, it results in the wedging apart of the two who love each other the most. You can love someone with all your soul and never get a chance to be with that person. Even worse, you can know that you love him or her, understanding there is no possibility that the two of you will ever be together.


Some people cannot and will not ever end up together, even if they do love each other. It’s a sad truth, but a truth, nonetheless.


The fact is, love is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories and movies you’ve heard and watched growing up, lied to you. Love is never enough because love is not rational.


You hear that love is irrational all the time, yet you still hear the same people saying that love is enough to keep two people together.


Unfortunately, we live in a world governed by rationality, and while love may be irrational, and we may manage to make it work for some time, the real world always catches up with us and our irrational illusions dissipate into thin air.


Then we are left with reality and reality doesn’t always reason the way lovers do.


Some people don’t work out together. 

They have habits or beliefs that make it impossible to co-habitate with the person they love. There isn’t a couple out there that loves every little thing about one another.


Sure, they may find certain quirks cute or unique, but they don’t love them; they simply accept them. There are some people who have such habits, tendencies, or thinking patterns that really do make them incompatible with the other person.


The two may love each other fully, because remember, love isn’t rational, yet not be able to live and deal with each other forever. This is why relationships require compromise.


You’re not going to love everything about the person you are with, but you love enough about him or her to live with the things you don’t love. Not all people are willing to, or even able to, compromise. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, regardless of what our emotions tell us.


Compromising, of course, is a choice.

 You either choose to make it work or you choose not to. I believe this fully. As long as something doesn’t go against your nature, over time you can make it work. But there are still some cases when compromising isn’t enough.


Sometimes there are other reasons two people cannot and will not ever be together. In fact, this is usually the deciding factor of whether or not two lovers will be capable of spending their lives together: if they are able to forgive and forget.


Because love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us to make poor choices – choices that are hurtful to the ones we love.


They may be poor calls of judgment, lies we told or things we said. When it comes to love, our pasts haunt us. We move from relationship to relationship, hauling all that luggage we managed to accumulate in our previous relationship.


Because lovers who can’t work together don’t like to accept this fact, they have a tendency of breaking up and getting back together repeatedly.


Each time they take a break from each other, they come back and try to start fresh. But the problem is, they’re still carrying all that luggage. And sooner or later, they start to unpack. All the demons come out.



When love scars, it cuts deep. 

The pain isn’t easily forgotten and usually cannot be willfully forgotten. When you hurt the woman you love enough, she won’t come back to you. And because you still love her, you wouldn’t take her back even if she asked you to.


You don’t trust yourself not to hurt her again and even if you did, she wouldn’t trust you not to hurt her again. Relationships are built on trust and you shattered her trust.


Chances are, you both have bruises that have never fully healed and likely will never fully heal. And that’s just something you decided that you’ll have to live with. Why?


Because you really don’t have any other options. You just hope that the two of you find others to love so you can think about each other less and so you don’t have to worry about her happiness anymore.


You wait in hopes that new love can take the place of the old — which it can. But that doesn’t mean you will ever stop loving each other. Some people will love each other until the day they die, spending the majority of their lives apart. And so is the darker side of love.

Signs Of Men's Immaturity In Marriage





Rejecting food when there's an issue:


Mr husband, you gave your wife money for food and after it was prepared you refused to eat because you are angry. It's one of the greatest signs of immaturity, it's time to grow up! You should not even abandon your home for any reason. You could go somewhere when angry but ensure that you don't allow it to linger unnecessarily because that is enough for the devil to build on even though some women can be really troublesome.




Reminding your wife severally that you are the head:


May I let you know that even when your wife disobeys/ disrespect you she still knows that you are the head. You need not shout or scream it daily. Or do we need to get you a slot on CNN? It's important for you to know when and how to be firm and put your feet down over issues, however don't become a nagging husband just to prove that you are the head.


Issuing threats:


Beating, verbally abusing your wife, issuing threats of divorce or bragging about marrying another wife does not make you a man. An EMPTY barrel makes the loudest noise. Your strength is in your ability to tame your tongue and control your fist. When she is acting her "childish woman" part, play the "matured man."


Reporting your wife to friends and family:


When your wife offends you, correct and talk things through. You don't have to tell everyone about her mistakes, that will paint her black and sell her cheap such that you will not be able to redeem her back.

By the way, are you a reporter answer my question ?


Keeping malice:


is it not funny to know that some men keep malice? Some of them even nag, criticize, abuse and call their wives names in public. It may make you look like a "big boy" who's in control but you are not going to gain anything good from it, your home will only be a den of insults and confrontations.


Not helping with house chores:


I must say here that it is the sole responsibility of a woman to tend and manage a home.

However, it's not a bad thing if a man lends a helping hand when necessary. Watching football with newspaper in your hand every evening, not caring how stressful the house chores are will only increase the pressure on your wife and if you truly care you'll help, just checking on her while busy could encourage and sooth her, this also makes you a good example to the kids especially the boys. Some men don't even say "thank You" to their wives after eating, all they do is compare her with other women. It's a shame that after having 3-4 kids some men cannot change a simple diaper or prepare cereal meals; a big shame.


My point?

A REAL man is a pillar of support to his wife, not a hole of depression.

lefulefu:
so sorry my brother .i dey charge my fone na im make me switch am off.i go soon switch am on.

ok

hello, is she around (MissRaine69)

lefulefu:
yes na at least guy will use dat to console imsef

hahahahahahah I called you o but phone off

OboOlora:
Gay a$$ modafoka!!!
Won’t be surprised if he’s the grooms gaypartner

sharp mouth chsirlady don talk
1bottle of vodka and snake meat Pepe soup for you

lefulefu:
well consider dat fone and 30k as donation to d poor

hahahahah make dem nor hear u o

gypsey:
well. it's not like the dead parents will notice, just sell their parts and use the money for ganja. instead of all this palaver.

Anyway their ghosts will get the road construction workers and the people who Approved it. for those who believes in ghosts

u just dey troway bullet everywhere

biacan:
Modify waiting

hmmmm OK forget

biacan:
Couple goals

hmm modify Biko

biacan:
You self someone can not play with you again

yeah you can

am not angry Na

biacan:
Martin you nor well

eh I hear you, thank you ma

biacan:
Nop I came you can as well make me come

ntooor

Due to soaring rent prices, our perceived loneliness and the pressure to move in with that special someone, most of us will bypass that small window of time in our lives in which we can live on our own.

To be clear: This means the only other thing breathing in your living room is either a plant, a pet... or both.

While there are certainly pros to perpetually dwelling with another person, it is equally important (if not more) to learn to live on your own for an extended period of time.

For one thing, you can finally face the fact that it is you creating the mess in the hallway. For another, you can finally clean it up without having to wear pants. See, you're still winning even without someone to blame it on.

Living alone as a female doesn't mean you're The Spinster With A Million Cats. It means you're independent, self-sufficient and enjoying all the glorious things in the world that were previously unavailable to you when you with parents !!!

biacan:
Nah me dey talk to you and you dey answer hmm? come here

hapu nu mu amu Biko

biacan:
Can't you see how happy you look because of this recent developments hip hip hip hooray

hia hmm

Nelsizzy:
Na you write am

question of the century

biacan:
Martin thread Don finally rich front page after six years of trying I'm happy for you darling

hmmmm

Twoclans:
Martin0 do you think lefulefu will choose a lady with good character over a lady with beautiful ukwu and bad character .

ayam not in the right position to answer u oooo

lefulefu:
ok una no come bash Martin0 as asslicker today abi?
martin great thread
tuale!

jajaja ar sight ya nor mind dem, all don go hide now

EmpressT:
Lolzzz
naso my dear
i don't want to be a victim of a failed marriage. Sometimes, I wonder if I could just be a single mother or be single for life and then pursue my career. Hmmm...maybe

yeah sometimes it like that, but then again it all you decision /choice.

EmpressT:
Hmmmm..... As for me, I don't know if I am ready for marriage let alone relationship. And I'm in my late 20's. Although, my family especially my sisters are putting pressure gradually on me. As a matter of fact, I am the first child and a graduate with no job yet. But seriously, I don't see myself getting married not even in five years. Does anyone feels this way too? I hope say no be spiritual mata be dis o lolz

hahahahah so u even they fear

hahahahah village people ooo

revontuli:
I'm not Nigerian but there are Nigerians here. I had a Nigerian software engineer colleague at my old workplace. I work for a big corp. There are students, prostitutes, African shop owners from Nigeria!

hia why u talk about olosho eh

OboOlora:
Martin0!!!!!!!!
One big keg of palmie for u, with roasted cat in pepper sauce.
U too make sense!

Weldon ma
love palmie
Anyway thanks

mzhorlah:
commot lets see road

OK

crook pastors
and Gullible will continue to remain gullible

Lalas247:
quotelol do that's what you and gypsey are doing .. it is well

hmmmm ok

OboOlora:
Poverty mentality!

The man wanted a lowkey ish but one poor make up artist couldn’t help but show the whole world this?

That is the problem with Nigerians. Reading through comments and I can see people wishing Dangote was their Dad bla bla bla, why is everything about money to you people? How about creating a last long impact in the world without showing extravagance?

Clearly, there’s a difference between riches, affluence and wealth. It takes intelligence to identify this.

Nigerians just wanna be rich!

gbam

water sun nor go touch u jor

come o wetin happen na DP carry imaginations ooo

Lalas247:
its all about business.. marketing .. branding


Jesus!



this is what church is Kai... na wa o
l just look at the western mentality in his church ! if na Naija now

yeah it will be same in naija.

I have seen similar too here even worse than this!

infact sef my friend
see this is business

soon I will open my own and hire a pastor to manage and balance me weekly, gypsey how u see this business na

mzhorlah:
what's this one saying

ask again