₦airaland Forum

@Oluafolabi, Funny enough, I went to see one in Lagos. Its in one of this famous private hospitals and the guy told me to try and relax. That it all in my head, and If I continue this way I will loose my husband. I never went back. The experience put off seeing anyone in Nigeria. But if you have any recommendation I will gladly consider it. I plan on going to the UK to see one but also not certain if thats the best solution as well.
@Bumdish, yes we use lubricant sometimes and it helps alot.
@All, I also think it might be Vaginismus but I dont want to conclude until I see a specialist.
Its not like I dont get the urge for sex. I get easily aroused and I know how to pleasure him in all areas, but as a wife I am not delivering and thats a fact. I have a great husband and I don't blame him one bit. I know how important sex is to the marriage. He supported me through out but also believes its in my head. I think he is trying to be stern to see if it can produce a different result.

I have been a follower of the family section for a couple of years. I have a serious issue that is threatening my marriage, I have no one to talk to as I am abit conscious about discussing my marriage with others even family. I am hoping to get some advice or ideas from here.

I have been married for a year now, my husband and I dated for a while before tying the knot. We never had sex before marriage, though we did alot of other things, I was just never ready to take it to the next level. After the wedding, trying to have sex was very difficult. I was very tight and it was extremely painful (unfortunately, pain is one thing I have never been able to tolerate). What did we not try, getting drunk, taking drugs. Long story short we finally had sex about 5months into the marriage. I have to say that my husband was very understanding and I will forever love him for this.

The problem now is that sex is extremely uncomfortable for me. It is always a battle for him to penetrate, because for me the pain always feels like the first time. Just imagine that everytime we want to get down there is always a struggle before he finally enters. My husband is tired and has told me that i need to find a way of solving this issue. Infact he said I should not speak to him until I am ready to open my legs and stay put for him to penetrate. He says he is loosing all the desire he has for me at the moment. I dont know what to do, I am so distraught. I feel like a failure as a wife, I mean who has ever heard of a new wife running from sex because of the fear of pain.
I dont know if its psychological or if there is something wrong with me down there physically. All I know is that I need help, because I cannot imagine loosing my best friend and soul mate. Pls is there anyone who has gone through this, can anyone help with suggestions on how I can learn to open up, relax and deal with the discomfort. Because I believe that if I can do this, then I can be able to let go and then it will be pleasurable for him and myself as well.