₦airaland Forum

My childhood crush, I was 6 (in kindy)and he was a 7 years old Chinese boy. We would walk home together hand-in-hand after school,

No problem with that as long as you don't think the same once you've graduated or continue to think the same after you've got a successful career. I did just that and look whats becoming of me.Anyway all the best in your studies.

@rockiedink,siena,jkpretty,soundmind,weebee(Thank you all)

Well, I meet this man on-line and he happened to be from Africa currently studying in my country.It was while searching for article about Nigerian in my country that I happened to come across one posting in Nairaland by a chinese woman about his Nigerian boyfriend.Thats how I get to know Nairaland.

www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-56081.96.htm

It depends on where you live.If its in the city yes money does matters.If its in the village money does'nt matter much (I'm saying this beacuse when I had my posting at the village I don't need much money).

I wish you good luck in finding the girl who takes you for who you are.

sirbuddy:
Hello Malau.

Hi sirbuddy.

sallysexy:
mayau, this is not real, open your eyes ooo!! hmmm, abi u want to marry your son

Thank you sallysexy.

Any 40's single man hereIf you are hallo back.If you're younger , forget it.

amsky:
na wa for some of us sha .this is just a sugar mama here.please madam,don't spoil the little boy for his parents o.a whole over 10yrs your junior.am on my knees,leave the poor boy alone.haba.all who are encouraging this should line up for two strokes of my koboko.

Thank you amsky,
You know what I just wish its the other way round, him leaving me alone before he breaks my heart.

@toyboy,ettehgate,ifyalways,crazykids (Thank you all for the advice)

eddycapuro:
u're just too old for this young igbo boy. what exactly do u want from him? let him study and become somebody in life instead of sticking your flappy breast in his young lips.

Hi eddycapuro,
I do not expect an applause from you for I am aware I will be hurl with all the negative thought for being "older".I did told him,"Leave me alone and focus on your studies."I just wish he did just that and wait till hes in his 30's.Sometime I just wonder what it would have been like if it was him who come to this forum and seek all of you people's advice.

rockiedink:
@mayau
well ok let me get serious here. you obviously love this dude. now is he in your country studying? i mean have you confirmed that? now you say he loves you. his Dad is igbo and that means he probably won't want him to marry a non-igbo not to mention a non-Nigerian. well, i know igbos who don't give a hoot about who their kids are married to as long as they love 'emselves (sorry yimi dear) so it rally is a complicated case.

Hi Rockiedink,
May I ask, do modern Igbo parent have the same reaction?I mean modern or not whats the different?

Siena:
, your feelings towards him are totally genuine.

But, I don't think his feelings towards you are real, it just doesn't ring true. If you search through this forum, you'll see a number of topics concerning the age difference issue, some Nigerian men will NOT marry a lady the same age as themselves, most wouldn't marry one 35 years older, and the vast majority would certainly NOT marry one 15 years older. That's the age of a teenager.

Do you have any children, from a previous relationship?

The word here is CAUTION!!!

Hi Siena,
Yes, I really like him.Beofer I meet him,I prayed to God that someday He send someone for me.Except I never expect that He answered by sending someone 15 years younger and from different culture and country.I have to deal with three issues here.

I know vast majority people see older woman,younger man relationship as something negative and I can't blame them for having such negative notion because in reality thats what is happening.Infact our local paper today feature this article about older women going on holiday to Kenya to have sex with young Kenyan.So you can imagine the negative thought people have of me if I said, my boyfriend is 25 and he is African.Its just so sad.

No Siena, I am not married and never has.If ever I will, it will be my first.

Hi all,
First of all I would like to thank the moderator for allowing us to post replies again.I was here for the past few days and was wondering what I did wrong that I couldn't post any replies.Who ever convince Mr moderator that its not the wises step to ban everybody,I thank you too for we come here in need of genuine advice and it isn't fair to cut off because someone else decide to be selfish.Once again thank you and looking forward to everyone's piece of mind.

@mellow

mellow:
It could also be for real so remember to use both your heart and your head.

Never leave the usage of one out.[/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

Thank you mellow.

@BekinableG

BekinableG:
please remember u are capable of given birth to that particular guy remind him he is making a mistake. well, it may not really be a mistake depends on what the guy know u are.
he is taking u to dry cleaner by the time he dryclean u there will be no moisture left in u them u will realize your mistake by then may be u will be fifty years. 39 - 25 Huuuuuuuuuuu

I'm aware of the biological aspect of it BekinableG and thank you for the reminder.

@dewaledeyi

dewaledeyi:
Mayau

mail me. I'm a relationship/courtship counsellor and I don't charge no dime

dewaledeyiga@yahoo.com

Thanks Dewaledeyiga.I sure to get in touch.

@yimiton

yimiton:
No, it's no good news.
I doubt if any Igbo man will let his 25 year old son marry a 39 year old.
Sorry, I wish it wasn't true but it is.

yeah,too bad.I wish it wasn't too.

@Thoniaslim

ThoniaSlim:
, but i have seen a few Nigerian-Malaysian couples. but i have not seen anyone where the guy is younger than the woman. thats why i would advice you to be careful, most of them are very deceitful. i suggest never ever give the guy money or material stuff till you are fully sure and convinced this guy maybe genuine. also tell him you want to go on holidays with him to meet his parents and family, observe his reaction to this request. that should be able to give you your answer. and you would be able to know if truly he has told his parents about you.

Thoniaslim you're in KL?

@AkinCREATV

AkinCREATV:
Hey babe , remember 25 is the New 39 so what are you wait for , go get him just be mindful of one thing , whats age got to do with it, it is just a number

Thanks AkinCREATV.I agree age is just a number.The thing is we want to know if hes for real.

@ilugunboy

ilugunboy:
Am just not comfortable about this "woman". Something tells me we are just been taken for a ride again on this thread. _{so, am off}

oh no ilugunboy,I'm not taking anyone for a ride.In fact while i'm in this forum, I'm chatting with him.Told him about the reply and ofcourse hes upset.

@uspry

uspry1:
Be sure check and read this below:

10 Insights You should take steps into serious relationship before you get marry her/him[/b]

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-95533.0.html

Thanks for the url

@adeboo
Hi Adeboo,thank you.His dad is Igbo.So that will make him too.Is that good news or bad news?

@Thoniaslim
@JKpretty
@Lola4eva

Thank you very much you all for your advice.I  really appreciate it.

@Xavier3
Yes, we've chatted via webcam and no so far he did not ask for anything material except that he ask if I'll cook for him.

@Yimiton
No, I did not spend any money on him.Infact its the other way round and I told him not to as he is here to study and it might burden his parent back home.I know for most international students their parent pay for money their tuition fees.

During our regular chat ask him some questions just to see how compatible we are because I believe for a relationship to work there must be some form of shared views on issues like education ,family,parenting etc. His replies isn't what I expected.For e.g he gives me the ideas that I should focus more being a wife and a mother.I on my part I don't want to be tied up being at home as I'm a career woman.There are other issues like keeping pet at home which hes not so keen about but agreed cause I said I like pet.well, a little bit of differences is OK if they complement the relationship.What do you all think?

I'm Malaysian and my boyfriend is Nigerian.We meet online but will be meeting him soon this month (hes currently studying in my country).Hes 25 and I'm39.The age different did not bother him and neither do I.He wants to go serious and even makes plan for our future.He even told his parents about me and wants to meet mine.The fact that I just got to know him less then a year makes me think hes being too fast?Due to the vast age gap I want to be just friend but he wants to go serious.