₦airaland Forum

Warrior14:
I will be getting married in 3 weeks time but I'm not happy
I'm getting married to a man who has beaten me two different times. I'm getting married to a man who is heartless and doesn't know how to love and treat a woman right. I'm getting married to a man who does not have a mind of his own.

I'm getting married but I'm already thinking of divorce.

I'm overwhelmed! I'm physically strong but I'm weak.
Just don't want to wake up from my sleep so I won't have to continue with this marriage plans as I can't stand the shame of calling off the marriage at this time.

Hi fam,
I'm almost certain you know what to do.
...because we actually REALLY ALWAYS KNOW, we just want to hold on thinking our partners will change and be better.

I'd say this though.
Whatever you tolerate now amplifies in marriage.
It never goes away.
It will likely get worse and become more toxic.
Your mental & physical health might also be affected because of the abuse.
No one should stay in a toxic relationship.


I had written a long epistle sharing my personal experience although it's not physical abuse, it's about dealing with emotional abuse and being with a covert narcissistic partner for about 4 years and 9 months, also on the brink of getting married, bought things and all that but I changed my mind and cleared it all.

I'd just say please don't do what will be detrimental to your mental and physical health.

It is better to wait long than to get it wrong.

There's also no shame in calling it off.
We called off mine too.
I'm still dealing with telling people it has been called off.
I still told people yesterday.

People will talk and keep quiet.
They shouldn't matter.
You should choose YOU first.
Your peace.
Your sanity.

I wish you all the best and I hope you make the right decision in the end.

Wow!
I find dis a hard pill to swallow.
Why do you think she was tailing you dat bad tho?

Were your actions pure all through?
Did you give her reasons not to do that?
Did you at any point do anything dat made it get to dis point because am jst wondering what will make a woman tail her man dat much.

adedayourt:
OP, let me first empathize with you as this must be that very phase of your life you wish not to arrive at.

Exactly what you stated up their is what I go through, but mine is happening while we still dating and we already have a wedding date. Introduction is supposed to be in few weeks from now.


But this lady is raised by partially her mum, partially her dad. She does most of the things you stated up there to the extend that when I step out of the house to buy stuff, she tails me and locks around behind (I have caught her doing this).



Now she has gone to my family to speak a whole lot and currently I am the worst guy on earth before my folks while she walks like an angel. Presently I called off everything with her and cancelling the wedding even though everybody is insisting I cannot take such decision.


I am only glad I am not married to her yet.