₦airaland Forum

They can go extra mile just to get even..

"Two Times" lol

Pls I need an answer: In 1985, IBB was the president of Nigeria and our teachers told us that Buhari was the former President....Our teachers also called us the leaders of tomorrow....27 years later, IBB and Buhari are still contesting for Presidency.Is it that our teachers lied to us about being the leaders of tomorrow or maybe tomorrow hasn't come.....?

"a boy and a girl were playing together, the boy had a collection of marbles.. and the girl had some sweets with her. the boy told the girl that "he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets." the girl agreed; the boy kept the biggest and the most beautifull marble aside; and gave the rest to the girl but the girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised. that night, the girl slept peacefully, but the boy couldnt sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.. (morale of the story: if you dont give your 100% in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting; if the other person has given his/her 100%). give your 100% to everything you do and sleep peacefully.

1.He who fights and run away , Na fear catch am. 2. Pikin wey say him mama no go sleep, na orphanage home fit am.
3. A rolling stone, go scatter everything.
4. He who lives in a glass house, pepper don rest for am cos him don hamer
5. Birds of d same feather, na d same mama born dem.
6. One good turn, na correct power steering be that.
7. A bird in hand, na better suya be that.
8. Half bread, is better than chin chin or buns.
9. The patient dog, Na hunger go kill am.
10. He who laughs last, no understand d joke quick, LØL

imagine u filled ur fuel tank & immediately, som1 snatched d car away frm u, which 1 go pain u pass: d car abi d fuel u jst bought?

lol. thank God am a barca fan

With the latest score between man u and man city (man u 1 : 6 man city), who come deserve the name manchester?

girl: hi babe
boy: hi luv (msg sending failed)
girl: are u there?
Boy: yes am here luv (msg sendn failed)
girl: are u ignoring me?
Boy: no no my luv (msg sendn failed)
girl: fine, i think dis relationship is over
boy: damn u, go to hell (msg sent)


GLO INTERNET CONNECTION CAN DESTROY UR HAPPINESS

Nigeria's report card after 51" years
SORRY IT TOOK ME LONG TO COMPILE
,

HEALTH = E7
POVERTY = A1
EDUCATION = C6
TRANSPORTATION = D7
,  SECURITY = F9
COMMUNICATION = C6
INFRASTRUCTURE = E8
SOCIAL AMENITIES = D7
POWER = F9
CORRUPTION = A1
WATER SUPPLY = C6
ELECTION RIGGING = A1
HUMAN RIGHT = D7
JUDICIARY = D7
MORTALITY RATE = E8
ILLITERACY = B3
UNEMPLOYMENT = D7
BANKING SECTOR = C4
SPORTS = D7
Independence my assss

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again.

She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, NOT RUN AROUND ON ME AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED ! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
,
On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you ? Just look at you, you have no legs."

The old man smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you !"

She snorted. "You don't have any arms either !" Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you !"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed "

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "Rang the doorbell, didn't I ?

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.





TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.



TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.



TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!



TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.



TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is, 
TEACHER: No, Millie,  Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right,  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'



TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.



TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher




hv fun guyz,

wetin u dey wait for?
u go start to dey look for the money on your own now!!!!
abi u want just leavam like dat?

won't that be robbery wen caught?

imagine u gave ur money 2 a deaf n dumb guy 2 keep 4 u b4 travelling, u came back n went 2 collect de money back from him n found out dat he's already blind; how are u gonna get ur money back?

@OP: The worst thing you can do is to listen to anyone who believes in the "love" concept, the second worst thing you can do is to marry based on "love". Ignore this wisdom of the immortals at your own peril! Cool

so de reason is because dey believe in love dats why it doesn't last?

Are nigerians not tired of naming their twins taiwo n kehinde,peter n paul, victor n Victoria?why cant we use names like copy n paste,find n replace,clearing n forwarding,dolce n gabbana,goodness n mercy,keyboard n monitor,facebook n twitter,input n output,open n close,undo n redo.etc, lolzzz

when u hear WETIN?

190:
[size=18pt][color=DEEPPINK]LOL

EVEN SNAKE FEAR BOBBIEEE!![/color][/size]

u go fear fear

Not actually suprised. With a face like hers, I too would die if I ever had the displeasure of seeing her physically let alone bite her.

lol

Re: Snake Dies After Biting A Model's bosom: Wetin Women Dey Carry 4 bosom:
« #1 on: Today at 01:28:03 PM »

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thats good news

now women can start stuffin silicon in their bodies so that snakes dont kill them

u dnt really mean dat do u?

wetin women dey carry 4 breast,



Snake dies from silicone poisoning after biting model's breast during photoshoot


It should have been an alluring photoshoot between two of nature's beautiful creatures as a model wrapped herself in a snake.

But surgically enhanced Israeli model Orit Fox got more than she bargained for when the massive boa constrictor took objection to her over familiarity and reacted by biting into her breast.



http://www.talkofnaija.com/news/snake-dies-silicone-poisoning-after-biting-models-breast-during-photoshoot

However, it was the snake who came off worse because, while Ms Fox need a tetanus shot in hospital, the reptile later died from silicone poisoning.

my love for u is eternal. Am sure u won't live dat long to see the end of it. But to prove how much i love u, i will jump in front of kekenapepe for u or do u prefer train?

maybe i hv been loving d wrong ladies who cares about d money n ofcus d third leg

can gurls allow themselves to care for a man without that excess money to throw around in this modern world of BB.

either he's planning to fail or u're planning to regret your actions in the near future, i think he's the girlfriend while u're the boyfriend, likes of him will always depend on a lady to survive.

Coolabbie (f)
« #2 on: December 02, 2010, 05:09 PM »

Troll on d loose.

lol not yet

Woke4all (m)

« #3 on: December 02, 2010, 05:39 PM »

This guy is suffering from lack of vitamin P pus.sy.

lol, i hear u. but i dont i lack dat

ladies, give n it shall be given unto u

doesn't have to do with church tithe

alone, be generous in all

ratification, na season we dey so make

una no dey keep dis thing for Yankee

returnees alone cos dey go still leave

una waka,

just a piece of advice,

guys no be soo?

i just remembered a day i went out with a friend of mine back in de days of white n white (secondary sch). we came back to de dom drunk around 10:00pm. he climbed up on the bunk, i waz lying on my bed benit de bunk, around 11:30pm i noticed dat something like rain was dropping frm his bed, now i wonder, is dis guy urinating on me or just de shayo effect?