₦airaland Forum

Qaisar1:
Llaykorn, Orijin? (Hope you code?)

don't you sleep?have you close from that meeting?

Scholarincharge:
Thanks for your great elucidations. I love them. You make the poem look more beautiful in my sight. Sincerely you make my day.

Thanks I hope you liked it....

Proudly and rudely they came!
Thinking they are self-made!
Ranting and mocking and swearing
Demoting and belittling themselves.

In this frist line the writer makes us understand they are more than one by use they.they àre supposed to be role model now because they were mocking and swearing it makes them really become little we had rated them big pictures in our heart.




Calmly and quietly we are
Watching as the scene unfolds:
Thinking who these are;
Making effort to grasp the show...

We are means people watching were more than one like a event because it uses scenes. It as of the people were watching them as a drama and trying to understand. What that is all

Some saying they're celebrities:
I would call them "yeyebrities"

His own opinon they are destroying their image while the rest audience watching says .they are icon .respectful popular rolemodel, celebrities

Will this pun of shaming porn ever be pound?
Patiently waiting for another round...



But if 2016 unfolds like like this,
Then watch out for many "yeyebrities" shows!

The write expressions is sad what has happened at the event
People that supposed to be model for us are giving shameful display of themselves. ..


It like a puzzle

I think olamide and Don jazzy

I think I never said it was them[/quote]

]Here he is
Our long expected friend
Fist, debut and woe

From the frist three lines I understand that the friend that's been expected is here that means the mood of the writer is happy.


Logger of our daily trends
With his twelve log books
He has booked a day extra
than yesteryear
Carbon of his age dead great father:
1988!
Check the dairy.


This part is the description of his friend.he is already aware of everything and he keeps record of it with his books.now he added other day to the time he is supposed to stay .twelve log book means twelve months in a year now he add other
Extra day .also had leap year


He's here to bless all
Including sundry
Fresh out on Friday
A promise of many holidays


These lines means the blessing he will bring for them the long expected blessing

Another leap year
Is here
With vision of census
Right ahead
Hope it will go
Sans turmoil
366 days of expectations
And enviable varying encounters
A stopwatch,
A jotter,
A monitor,
An atlas
To the circulars journeys


He tells us about the name and features of the friend.leap year.



I love all the metaphors
It beautiful of describing leap nice poem


I hope am right with my explanation

E383:
llaykorn, Nubian has put pen to paper, come and append your signature so we can sell the book.

Good one Nubian113

must you always call llaykorn every were you go?is he your wife?

llaykorn:
Tell me, Merit. What new language are you learning? Is this Spanish?

Were do we start from
I want to learn poetry from you

llaykorn:
Tell me, Merit. What new language are you learning? Is this Spanish?

Soon imparlare italiano anche cosi espanol

Uhhhhhh

Thanks for all the corrections

Adesso sono capito tutti
Lui non e Nero
Lui e Blanco
Pero solo amici
Lui e pazzo
Fidami

llaykorn:
Hi Merit. 'Ask in the first line should be 'asked' since you're narrating a story from the past. And why did you decide not to put his words in quotation marks even though you wrote in direct speech? 'Filled' and 'remember' should agree. If you remembered in the past, then your face definitely filled in the past. If you're remembering in the present then your face is filling in the present too. You get that?



I like the way you used your similes in the last three lines. A mad man woken up from a sweet dream should be angry and probably try to chase one - with speed. Is that because you felt he was too fast to propose? Your third line seems to indicate that. In your fourth line, there should be the word 'the' before 'hottest'. It would have been more correct that way.




In the first line, did you decide not to deliberately use an exclamation mark after 'Ahhhhh'? In the second line, I'm not exactly faulting your usage of 'loud' with 'openness', but I have a feeling that it would have been more appealing if you had decided to use with 'openness' an adjective that appeals to sight rather than hearing. Noticing openness is closer to the work of the eye than the ear - or so I think. In your last line, do you think it is correct to liken his careful attention to an eagle or to the attention of an eagle? I mean, don't you think it would sound better if you had written: "His careful attention was like an EAGLE'S (i.e was like that of an egale) searching for prey. You forgot the quotation marks in this stanza too.



I love your similes, sincerely! I think you should just have written Methylated Spirit in full to help you readers avoid confusions. 'Change' should have been 'changed' in your third line. Isn't it funny how you forgot to write your last word? Your what? With all that suspense? Are you too shy to tell us?

You've written a very beautiful poem for your beloved. Merit, Is the guy black?

emaculate99:
I still woke up this morning to read this poem and was shining my teeth.

Grazie
Sono felice sei te piace
Come stai

llaykorn:
Wow! Merit, you're back. This your ode is something else. Have you been to London? Are you still black?

Bouena Dias como Estes usted?
Boungiorno come stai tutto bene?

Llaykorn the legend
Am fine oooo......Am trying to work on my poetry loving it these day and try to come out clean like you....creativity I need and expression of my self

Am still dark as ever check my profile for confirmation.

I need some coaching from you ....

Were is llaykorn ?
I nor see am like m.i music intro called action film
Wondering why am searching for him?
Wondering why his name is with high and low?
Trust me I have no answer for that.

Were is llaykorn I ask again the second time
Can you throw golds away and pick steel?
Can you reject handshake from the president Obama
Can you leave your car at home and trekk to your village?

So as llaykorn the poet writting in the cave
Hiding in the lonely place watching the city of poetry in the night.
Saving innocent ones not to loose focus in writting
like the poet he is made to be
Making haters of poems becoming great writter.


Were is llaykorn I ask the third time
I can't find him here I seek him
Has anyone see him in valley,the cave in the threads?
There are invisible gift for him as a little reward
As the award of king .

Were is llaykorn for the last time
Questions for you my noble one
I guess I ask here and now my teacher
Abeg you fit look my poem and correct me bros?

emaculate99:
Thanks.

niente prego tranquila

It is unfair to enter a home without knocking
It's is unfair for you to think it fair
When the fair ones still thinks they are unfair.

No greetings no knocking
No bringing of peace in this house
Like a landlord looking for the debtors
As the eagles that takes the chicks without warning
As the air that fill the room without notice.

I still think it unfair to enter without knocking
With empty hand you came
Is there something fair for me
Yes ...No...Maybe I guess your mind maybe.

It is unfair for me to treat you this way
Without knowing what prompt you in my thread
Welcoming you is fair
Giving you a sit and water maybe is fair
I think is fair me to ask you this
How far nah..wetin you bring for me e383

E383:
Hmmm Emaculate99 is now someones lord. .

Llaykorn.

It is unfair to enter a home without knocking
It's is unfair for you to think it fair
When the fair ones still thinks they are unfair.

No greetings no knocking
No bringing of peace in this house
Like a landlord looking for the debtors
As the eagles that takes the chicks without warning
As the air that fill the room without notice.

I still think it unfair to enter without knocking
With empty hand you came
Is there something fair for me
Yes ...No...Maybe I guess your mind maybe.

It is unfair for me to treat you this way
Without knowing what prompt you in my thread
Welcoming you is fair
Giving you a sit and water maybe is fair
I think is fair me to as you this
How far nah..wetin you bring for me e383

Yes I answer to you my Lord
Your command only I execute
Like the supreme legend of my time
Like the only eagle that fly high.

Yes my Lord only you I can live with
Not like the supreme GOD above
But like a friend that comes at a time of need
Only your language I speak.

You only came to my rescue
When jaymejate tries to oppress me
Only you my friend teach me my correction
Only you look through my poem
Like the mother hen protect her children from hawk
As God hears the oppression of the Israelite and save them..

Yes my friend your smiles as that of a child that sees his favourite candy
Your style my friend as the vision of a writer

Yes my friend when I remember your name

Yes my friend emaculate99

emaculate99:
OK but can we communicate in English?

Yes I answer to you my Lord
Your command only I execute
Like the supreme legend of my time
Like the only eagle that fly high.

Yes my Lord only you I can live with
Not like the supreme GOD above
But like a friend that comes at a time of need
Only your language I speak.

You only came to my rescue
When jaymejate tries to oppress me
Only you my friend teach me my correction
Only you look through my poem
Like the mother hen protect her children from hawk
As God hears the oppression of the Israelite and save them..

Yes my friend your smiles as that of a child that sees his favourite candy
Your style my friend as the vision of a writer

Yes my friend when I remember your name

Yes my friend emaculate99

emaculate99:
OK but can we communicate in English?

Yes I answer to you my Lord
Your command only I execute
Like the supreme legend of my time
Like the only eagle that fly high.

Yes my Lord only you I can live with
Not like the supreme GOD above
But like a friend that comes at a time of need
Only your language I speak.

emaculate99:
I don't understand

provi Cerchi su google se tu capito
Buona festa

emaculate99:
merit12, nice piece but try to read the poem all over again. You need to correct some mistakes.

Grazie mele ....ho capito

Quando io finito leggere a me piace molto
Bellismo

jaymejate:
Hey easy o. Just chill.
And don't get yourself banned sweetheart

Mind your business oh

You are like the witch that flies at night looking for the helpless ones .....
Showing how might and power you are
Going in and coming out from people home

What the Bleep do you think You are ?
The gods ,angels,demons ?
Do you think you are a better written?
Do you only go into people thread and comment what you like?
Are you high on some cheap drug?
I need answer to all my questions like a teacher waiting for the students to rise their hands up
Who the Bleep do you think you are?

Answer me oh answer I knock at your door
Like a desperate mother hen looking for the chick
Like a hungry lion seeing the existence of a human in the past three days
Like weeping parent when they lost their only child they had in thirty years of their life.

What the Bleep do you think you are?
Like you gave me the strength to write the poem
Mind your business as the trader who borrow money from bank
Like the child suffering from malnutrition.
Mind your business ooo

jaymejate:
[size=15pt]not only the boy, but you also is mad
I think you should stop listening to much naija music [/size]

You are like the witch that flies at night looking for the helpless ones .....
Showing how might and power you are
Going in and coming out from people home

What the Bleep do you think You are ?
The gods ,angels,demons ?
Do you think you are a better written?
Do you only go into people thread and comment what you like?
Are you high on some cheap drug?
I need answer to all my questions like a teacher waiting for the students to rise their hands up
Who the Bleep do you think you are?

Answer me oh answer I knock at your door
Like a desperate mother hen looking for the chick
Like a hungry lion seeing the existence of a human in the past three days
Like weeping parent when they lost their only child they had in thirty years of their life.

What the Bleep do you think you are?
Like you gave me the strength to write the poem
Mind your business as the trader who borrow money from bank
Like the child suffering from malnutrition.
Mind your business ooo

Are you passionate he ask
Are you romantic he fired at me once more
smiles filled my face as I remember how crazy he was the first time we chatted....

Marry me he wrote to me
Like a mad man woken up from a sweet dream
Like a speed of air in raylight
Like hottest of the Sun in summer

Ahhhhh I said this boy is mad
His openness was loud for me to see
His careful attention was like eagle searching for prey

Ahhh I said this boy is mad
I look at him the last time
Like a soaked wool in spirit
He stood with me like the visible angel guarding me
Then I change my mind and say this boy is my

Read and review please
llaykorn and others

I smell good use of simile ....imagery....comparison