₦airaland Forum

OkparaIgbo:
OP Go and sleep, it is obvious you are not here to ganier help but just to make fun of the Old Igbo Tradition.!!

[b][b][b]PURE FAIL MY DEAR, !! But good Try, and please let my Igbo brothers and Sisters Ignore this wannabe.[/b][/b][/b]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezl2s8-YDtY&ob=av3e

Why so cynical my brother?? I'm not making fun of the igbo tradition at all. Why would I bother to, afterall I'm not living in Nigeria. What do I gain?

mbatuku2:
BTW, who drafted that marriage list?

mbatuku2:
, And you have no relatives in Nigeria who can go to the local market to ascertain the prices of these items?

the list was was drafted by the elders,

mbatuku2:
OP, If you are for real and not some god-forsaken yoruba man with countless IDs, Why haven't your folks told the prices of there things since February 2011 when you first posted it here(It's over 9 months now)

Dont you have a responsible family member who is on ground you can text this list to, to help you find out their prices, instead of pasting online items most people are not familiar with to even know their prices?

my parents are here in the uk, and have been very vague with how much they think it will cost. my father is now due to return to nigeria, so i simply asked on here as I guessed you over there would have a better idea than me.

Is that ok with u?

kayalla:
@poster, things don shange ooo, u can adjust the list if u want, u dont have to allow your hubby to spend all his saving marrying u and at then start scratching for comfort.

u can cut all the requested items in two and provide what u can, becos na the whole village de come chop and share all these things, its not as if its just for your family.

so provide what u can.

Thank you! That was another thing we were planning to do. Not sure how my family will take that though,

scribble:
It will cause cancer for the father.

I see he has requested a carton of benson.

this is why there should be list consultants and marriage shoppers.

I mean I cant see myself running around to fetch all those things and deliver to the east.

actually wouldnt they be cheaper in the East?

That's the plan - hand over the money for most of the stuff - especially food to be bought in the east,

High_Chief:
There are some things on that list your kinsmen might let go, depends on how cordial your relationship with them is. You can only provide the important ones and request they ignore the rest. Maybe your parents should do that.

Apparently this is the standard list! They won't be letting go of anything- my father is far too proud!

r231:
is your fiancée in UK with you?

do you have to go home?


cus i can tell you wedding are very expensive in 9ja

just recovered from mine . . . . . if i have to do it again, I will gladly stay here

Yeah my fiancé is here in the uk with me. No, we won't be going. That would just be wOuld just be welcoming bankruptcy! Lol

Thank you everyone for your responses. What can I do My father is blaming his kinsman for the list, but he knows my financial standing. But my fiancé and I have decided to do what we can for peace!

@tellwisdom - I really don't know!

@ Mrs Chima - we will defo be adding money for miscellaneous items, plus things that are not included like transprt, music etc.

I feel like I'm being sold! lol

Hi guys

Thanks for your responses.

@jennykadry, yes I am female. This marriage will indeed be forever! lol!

@ronkebp, It's just one daughter!

Hi guys

I'm writing from London. I'm due to be getting married next year, and this is my 'list' I don't really know the current prices of things in nigeria, and need to come up with a budget with my fiance.

BTW, my family are from Abia state.

How much do you think the whole list will be

MARRIAGE LIST

1). NMAYI NKUTU AKA: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS

2). NMAYI IHE AVURU: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS

3). NMAYI MKPARI UBUBO: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS/BRANDY/WHISKY

4). NMAYI AJUJU NKE NNA NKE NNE:
A). SIX (6) BOTTLES OF ASSORTD HOT DRINKS (THIS INCLUDES 1-3 ABOVE)
B). TWO (2) GALLONS OF PALM WINE
C). AKA NA UTAKU (ONE HAND AND A LEG OF MEAT) – (SHORT FALL MEN N 3K / SHORT FALL WOMEN N3K)
D). 4 X N5 NOTES
E). NATIVE KOLANUTS, GARDEN EGGS AND BITTER KOLA
F). ONE CREATE OF MINERAL

5). U ONU AKU: (BARGAIN OF DOWRY – ONE BOTTLE OF WHISKY)

6). IWU OKWU MMIRI (REACHING ACCORD / SETTLEMENT) – ONE BIG BOTTLE OF WHISKY/BRANDY (THREE IN ONE).

7). BU NMAYI NWANYI:
A). NKOI AKPA N3K (NGWA ATO)
B). AJU ISII N1,500.00
C). NKPO ISII
D). OKWA ISII
E). THIRTY SIX (36) GALLONS OF PALM WINE
F). N120.00 (FOR THOSE TO CARRY THE PALM WINE)
G). EKOT INEM KE-MEN N3K
H). EKOT INEM KE-WOMEN N3K
I). A BIG BOTTLE OF GROUND SNUFF
J). ONE ROLL OF CIGARETTES (BENSON & HEDGES / ST. MORRIS)
K). TWO (2) BIG PACKETS OF MATCHES (TEN IN ONE)
L). IKPEGHE OGBITI / ULO NTA N200.00
M). IKPEGHE ONU-NKPU N2,000.00
N). KOLANUTS, GARDEN EGGS, BITTER KOLA (IN LARGE QUANTITY)
O). TRANSPORT TO BRING OUT THE BRIDE – WOMEN N5,000.00

. NMAYI NGANGA (APPRECIATION)
A). TEN (10) CARTONS OF ASSORTED BEER, INCLUDING TWO (2) CRATES OF SMALL STOUT
B). TEN (10) CRATES OF ASSORTED MINERALS INCLUDING AT LEAST THREE (3) CRATES OF MALTINA

9). FATHER’S LIST
A). ISI AGU / INYINYA MATERIALS FOR CHIEFTAINCY DRESS
B). SIX (6) PIECES OF PLAIN MADRAS (GEORGE)
C). HAT
D). A PAIR OF CUT SHOES
E). GENTS UMBRELLA
F). WALKING STICK
G). GENTS WRIST WATCH
H). HANDKERCHIEFS
I). TOWEL


10). MOTHER’S LIST
A). ONE (1) HEAVY PIECE OF MADRAS (GEORGE)
B). FOUR (4) PIECES OF PLAIN MADRAS (GEORGE)
C). ONE (1) PIECE OF UKPO (REAL DUTCH WAX)
D). HEAD TIE (TWO YARDS)
E). LADIES UMBRELLA
F). CORDLESS BLOUSE MATERIAL
G). A PAIR OF SHOES
H). LADIES WRIST WATCH
I). TOWEL
J). COMPLETE SET OF G. L. CHAIN
K). LADIES HAND BAG
L). HANDHERCHIEFS
M). ONE (1) CARTON OF TOILET / BATHING SOAP
N). ONE (1) CARTON OF BAR SOAP
O). ONE DOZEN OF ASSORTED BODY CREAM
P). SIX (6) ASSORTED TALCUM POWDER

11). DANCING: FOR THE BRIDE TO DANCE WITH THE GROOM N2,000.00

12). COOKING MATERIALS:
2 BAGS OF RICE, 1 COW, 40 BIG TUBERS OF YAM, 2 LONG TAILS OF STOCK FISH, 2 STICKS OF DRY FISH, 6 HEADS OF STOCK FISH, ONE BAG OF GARRI, 30 CUPS OF EGUSI, 2 CUPS OF ACHI, 5 CUPS OF DRIED PEPPER, 1 TRAY OF CRAYFISH, 2 BAGS OF SALT, A BASKET OF FRESH TOMATOES, A TRAY OF ONIONS, A TRAY OF FRESH PEPPER, 1 CARTON OF TINNED TOMATOES, 1 TIN OF MAGGI (ROYCO), 2 BOTTLES OF CURRY POWDER, 2 BOTTLES OF THYME, 1 TIN OF GROUNDNUT OIL, 1 TIN OF PALM OIL, 1 MAT (HAUSA TYPE), 1 BIG BASIN (ERICO) AND 3 NUT MEGS.

13). FOR THE PEOPLE THAT DO THE COOKING:
A). A CRATE OF MINERAL
B). A CARTON OF BEER
C). A PACKET OF CABIN BISCUIT
D). A BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS
E). A GALLON OF PALM WINE
F). KITCHEN SUPPORT N2,000.00


Thanks!

Hi guys

I'm writing from London. I'm due to be getting married next year, and this is my 'list' I don't really know the current prices of things in nigeria, and need to come up with a budget with my fiance.

BTW, my family are from Abia state.

How much do you think the whole list will be

MARRIAGE LIST

1). NMAYI NKUTU AKA: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS

2). NMAYI IHE AVURU: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS

3). NMAYI MKPARI UBUBO: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS/BRANDY/WHISKY

4). NMAYI AJUJU NKE NNA NKE NNE:
A). SIX (6) BOTTLES OF ASSORTD HOT DRINKS (THIS INCLUDES 1-3 ABOVE)
B). TWO (2) GALLONS OF PALM WINE
C). AKA NA UTAKU (ONE HAND AND A LEG OF MEAT) – (SHORT FALL MEN N 3K / SHORT FALL WOMEN N3K)
D). 4 X N5 NOTES
E). NATIVE KOLANUTS, GARDEN EGGS AND BITTER KOLA
F). ONE CREATE OF MINERAL

5). U ONU AKU: (BARGAIN OF DOWRY – ONE BOTTLE OF WHISKY)

6). IWU OKWU MMIRI (REACHING ACCORD / SETTLEMENT) – ONE BIG BOTTLE OF WHISKY/BRANDY (THREE IN ONE).

7). BU NMAYI NWANYI:
A). NKOI AKPA N3K (NGWA ATO)
B). AJU ISII N1,500.00
C). NKPO ISII
D). OKWA ISII
E). THIRTY SIX (36) GALLONS OF PALM WINE
F). N120.00 (FOR THOSE TO CARRY THE PALM WINE)
G). EKOT INEM KE-MEN N3K
H). EKOT INEM KE-WOMEN N3K
I). A BIG BOTTLE OF GROUND SNUFF
J). ONE ROLL OF CIGARETTES (BENSON & HEDGES / ST. MORRIS)
K). TWO (2) BIG PACKETS OF MATCHES (TEN IN ONE)
L). IKPEGHE OGBITI / ULO NTA N200.00
M). IKPEGHE ONU-NKPU N2,000.00
N). KOLANUTS, GARDEN EGGS, BITTER KOLA (IN LARGE QUANTITY)
O). TRANSPORT TO BRING OUT THE BRIDE – WOMEN N5,000.00

. NMAYI NGANGA (APPRECIATION)
A). TEN (10) CARTONS OF ASSORTED BEER, INCLUDING TWO (2) CRATES OF SMALL STOUT
B). TEN (10) CRATES OF ASSORTED MINERALS INCLUDING AT LEAST THREE (3) CRATES OF MALTINA

9). FATHER’S LIST
A). ISI AGU / INYINYA MATERIALS FOR CHIEFTAINCY DRESS
B). SIX (6) PIECES OF PLAIN MADRAS (GEORGE)
C). HAT
D). A PAIR OF CUT SHOES
E). GENTS UMBRELLA
F). WALKING STICK
G). GENTS WRIST WATCH
H). HANDKERCHIEFS
I). TOWEL


10). MOTHER’S LIST
A). ONE (1) HEAVY PIECE OF MADRAS (GEORGE)
B). FOUR (4) PIECES OF PLAIN MADRAS (GEORGE)
C). ONE (1) PIECE OF UKPO (REAL DUTCH WAX)
D). HEAD TIE (TWO YARDS)
E). LADIES UMBRELLA
F). CORDLESS BLOUSE MATERIAL
G). A PAIR OF SHOES
H). LADIES WRIST WATCH
I). TOWEL
J). COMPLETE SET OF G. L. CHAIN
K). LADIES HAND BAG
L). HANDHERCHIEFS
M). ONE (1) CARTON OF TOILET / BATHING SOAP
N). ONE (1) CARTON OF BAR SOAP
O). ONE DOZEN OF ASSORTED BODY CREAM
P). SIX (6) ASSORTED TALCUM POWDER

11). DANCING: FOR THE BRIDE TO DANCE WITH THE GROOM N2,000.00

12). COOKING MATERIALS:
2 BAGS OF RICE, 1 COW, 40 BIG TUBERS OF YAM, 2 LONG TAILS OF STOCK FISH, 2 STICKS OF DRY FISH, 6 HEADS OF STOCK FISH, ONE BAG OF GARRI, 30 CUPS OF EGUSI, 2 CUPS OF ACHI, 5 CUPS OF DRIED PEPPER, 1 TRAY OF CRAYFISH, 2 BAGS OF SALT, A BASKET OF FRESH TOMATOES, A TRAY OF ONIONS, A TRAY OF FRESH PEPPER, 1 CARTON OF TINNED TOMATOES, 1 TIN OF MAGGI (ROYCO), 2 BOTTLES OF CURRY POWDER, 2 BOTTLES OF THYME, 1 TIN OF GROUNDNUT OIL, 1 TIN OF PALM OIL, 1 MAT (HAUSA TYPE), 1 BIG BASIN (ERICO) AND 3 NUT MEGS.

13). FOR THE PEOPLE THAT DO THE COOKING:
A). A CRATE OF MINERAL
B). A CARTON OF BEER
C). A PACKET OF CABIN BISCUIT
D). A BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS
E). A GALLON OF PALM WINE
F). KITCHEN SUPPORT N2,000.00


Thanks!

Hi guys

I'm writing from London.  I'm due to be getting married next year, and this is my 'list' I don't really know the current prices of things in nigeria, and need to come up with a budget with my fiance.

BTW, my family are from Abia state.

How much do you think the whole list will be

MARRIAGE LIST

1). NMAYI NKUTU AKA: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS

2). NMAYI IHE AVURU: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS

3). NMAYI MKPARI UBUBO: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS/BRANDY/WHISKY

4). NMAYI AJUJU NKE NNA NKE NNE:
A). SIX (6) BOTTLES OF ASSORTD HOT DRINKS (THIS INCLUDES 1-3 ABOVE)
B). TWO (2) GALLONS OF PALM WINE
C). AKA NA UTAKU (ONE HAND AND A LEG OF MEAT)    –      (SHORT FALL MEN N 3K / SHORT FALL WOMEN N3K)
D). 4 X N5 NOTES
E). NATIVE KOLANUTS, GARDEN EGGS AND BITTER KOLA
F). ONE CREATE OF MINERAL

5). U ONU AKU:  (BARGAIN OF DOWRY – ONE BOTTLE OF WHISKY)

6). IWU OKWU MMIRI (REACHING ACCORD / SETTLEMENT) – ONE BIG BOTTLE OF WHISKY/BRANDY (THREE IN ONE).

7). BU NMAYI NWANYI:
A). NKOI AKPA N3K (NGWA ATO)
B). AJU ISII N1,500.00
C). NKPO ISII
D). OKWA ISII
E). THIRTY SIX (36) GALLONS OF PALM WINE
F). N120.00 (FOR THOSE TO CARRY THE PALM WINE)
G). EKOT INEM KE-MEN N3K
H). EKOT INEM KE-WOMEN N3K
I). A BIG BOTTLE OF GROUND SNUFF
J). ONE ROLL OF CIGARETTES (BENSON & HEDGES / ST. MORRIS)
K). TWO (2) BIG PACKETS OF MATCHES (TEN IN ONE)
L). IKPEGHE OGBITI / ULO NTA N200.00
M). IKPEGHE ONU-NKPU N2,000.00
N). KOLANUTS, GARDEN EGGS, BITTER KOLA (IN LARGE QUANTITY)
O). TRANSPORT TO BRING OUT THE BRIDE – WOMEN N5,000.00

. NMAYI NGANGA (APPRECIATION)
A). TEN (10) CARTONS OF ASSORTED BEER, INCLUDING TWO (2) CRATES OF SMALL STOUT
B). TEN (10) CRATES OF ASSORTED MINERALS INCLUDING AT LEAST THREE (3) CRATES OF MALTINA

9). FATHER’S LIST
A). ISI AGU / INYINYA MATERIALS FOR CHIEFTAINCY DRESS
B). SIX (6) PIECES OF PLAIN MADRAS (GEORGE)
C). HAT
D). A PAIR OF CUT SHOES
E). GENTS UMBRELLA
F). WALKING STICK
G). GENTS WRIST WATCH
H). HANDKERCHIEFS
I). TOWEL


10). MOTHER’S LIST
A). ONE (1) HEAVY PIECE OF MADRAS (GEORGE)
B). FOUR (4) PIECES OF PLAIN MADRAS (GEORGE)
C). ONE (1) PIECE OF UKPO (REAL DUTCH WAX)
D). HEAD TIE (TWO YARDS)
E). LADIES UMBRELLA
F). CORDLESS BLOUSE MATERIAL
G). A PAIR OF SHOES
H). LADIES WRIST WATCH
I). TOWEL
J). COMPLETE SET OF G. L. CHAIN
K). LADIES HAND BAG
L). HANDHERCHIEFS
M). ONE (1) CARTON OF TOILET / BATHING SOAP
N). ONE (1) CARTON OF BAR SOAP
O). ONE DOZEN OF ASSORTED BODY CREAM
P). SIX (6) ASSORTED TALCUM POWDER

11). DANCING: FOR THE BRIDE TO DANCE WITH THE GROOM N2,000.00

12). COOKING MATERIALS:
2 BAGS OF RICE, 1 COW, 40 BIG TUBERS OF YAM, 2 LONG TAILS OF STOCK FISH, 2 STICKS OF DRY FISH, 6 HEADS OF STOCK FISH, ONE BAG OF GARRI, 30 CUPS OF EGUSI, 2 CUPS OF ACHI, 5 CUPS OF DRIED PEPPER, 1 TRAY OF CRAYFISH, 2 BAGS OF SALT, A BASKET OF FRESH TOMATOES, A TRAY OF ONIONS, A TRAY OF FRESH PEPPER, 1 CARTON OF TINNED TOMATOES, 1 TIN OF MAGGI (ROYCO), 2 BOTTLES OF CURRY POWDER, 2 BOTTLES OF THYME, 1 TIN OF GROUNDNUT OIL, 1 TIN OF PALM OIL, 1 MAT (HAUSA TYPE), 1 BIG BASIN (ERICO) AND 3 NUT MEGS.

13). FOR THE PEOPLE THAT DO THE COOKING:
A). A CRATE OF MINERAL
B). A CARTON OF BEER
C). A PACKET OF CABIN BISCUIT
D). A BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS
E). A GALLON OF PALM WINE
F). KITCHEN SUPPORT N2,000.00


Thanks!

I will be contributing. Neither of our families are particularly well off. I know my in-laws to be will not be able to shoulder the cost, and so it will be on my fiance's head,

arochukwu

Abia!

hey guys

I'm the youngest in my family, and this is pretty much the same list that was issued to my bro-in-laws.

@ armyofone: I too agree that we should have a say in the list. Feeling really under pressure at the moment. My father just isn't shifting! He says that this is the way things are done, but I can't quite believe that every marriage goes down like this! Would anyone ever be able to get married?!?!?

Hi

My father has just given the marriage list to my husband-to-be's parents in Nigeria.

I'm in the UK, and don't have a good idea about how things cost.

Can anyone give me some ideas on the list below? I just want a rough estimate on cost.

Thanks!

1). NMAYI NKUTU AKA: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS

2). NMAYI IHE AVURU: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS

3). NMAYI MKPARI UBUBO: ONE BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS/BRANDY/WHISKY

4). NMAYI AJUJU NKE NNA NKE NNE:
A). SIX (6) BOTTLES OF ASSORTD HOT DRINKS (THIS INCLUDES 1-3 ABOVE)
B). TWO (2) GALLONS OF PALM WINE
C). AKA NA UTAKU (ONE HAND AND A LEG OF MEAT) – (SHORT FALL MEN N 3K / SHORT FALL WOMEN N3K)
D). 4 X N5 NOTES
E). NATIVE KOLANUTS, GARDEN EGGS AND BITTER KOLA
F). ONE CREATE OF MINERAL

5). U ONU AKU: (BARGAIN OF DOWRY – ONE BOTTLE OF WHISKY)

6). IWU OKWU MMIRI (REACHING ACCORD / SETTLEMENT) – ONE BIG BOTTLE OF WHISKY/BRANDY (THREE IN ONE).

7). BU NMAYI NWANYI:
A). NKOI AKPA N3K (NGWA ATO)
B). AJU ISII N1,500.00
C). NKPO ISII
D). OKWA ISII
E). THIRTY SIX (36) GALLONS OF PALM WINE
F). N120.00 (FOR THOSE TO CARRY THE PALM WINE)
G). EKOT INEM KE-MEN N3K
H). EKOT INEM KE-WOMEN N3K
I). A BIG BOTTLE OF GROUND SNUFF
J). ONE ROLL OF CIGARETTES (BENSON & HEDGES / ST. MORRIS)
K). TWO (2) BIG PACKETS OF MATCHES (TEN IN ONE)
L). IKPEGHE OGBITI / ULO NTA N200.00
M). IKPEGHE ONU-NKPU N2,000.00
N). KOLANUTS, GARDEN EGGS, BITTER KOLA (IN LARGE QUANTITY)
O). TRANSPORT TO BRING OUT THE BRIDE – WOMEN N5,000.00

. NMAYI NGANGA (APPRECIATION)
A). TEN (10) CARTONS OF ASSORTED BEER, INCLUDING TWO (2) CRATES OF SMALL STOUT
B). TEN (10) CRATES OF ASSORTED MINERALS INCLUDING AT LEAST THREE (3) CRATES OF MALTINA

9). FATHER’S LIST
A). ISI AGU / INYINYA MATERIALS FOR CHIEFTAINCY DRESS
B). SIX (6) PIECES OF PLAIN MADRAS (GEORGE)
C). HAT
D). A PAIR OF CUT SHOES
E). GENTS UMBRELLA
F). WALKING STICK
G). GENTS WRIST WATCH
H). HANDKERCHIEFS
I). TOWEL


10). MOTHER’S LIST
A). ONE (1) HEAVY PIECE OF MADRAS (GEORGE)
B). FOUR (4) PIECES OF PLAIN MADRAS (GEORGE)
C). ONE (1) PIECE OF UKPO (REAL DUTCH WAX)
D). HEAD TIE (TWO YARDS)
E). LADIES UMBRELLA
F). CORDLESS BLOUSE MATERIAL
G). A PAIR OF SHOES
H). LADIES WRIST WATCH
I). TOWEL
J). COMPLETE SET OF G. L. CHAIN
K). LADIES HAND BAG
L). HANDHERCHIEFS
M). ONE (1) CARTON OF TOILET / BATHING SOAP
N). ONE (1) CARTON OF BAR SOAP
O). ONE DOZEN OF ASSORTED BODY CREAM
P). SIX (6) ASSORTED TALCUM POWDER

11). DANCING: FOR THE BRIDE TO DANCE WITH THE GROOM N2,000.00

12). COOKING MATERIALS:
2 BAGS OF RICE, 1 COW, 40 BIG TUBERS OF YAM, 2 LONG TAILS OF STOCK FISH, 2 STICKS OF DRY FISH, 6 HEADS OF STOCK FISH, ONE BAG OF GARRI, 30 CUPS OF EGUSI, 2 CUPS OF ACHI, 5 CUPS OF DRIED PEPPER, 1 TRAY OF CRAYFISH, 2 BAGS OF SALT, A BASKET OF FRESH TOMATOES, A TRAY OF ONIONS, A TRAY OF FRESH PEPPER, 1 CARTON OF TINNED TOMATOES, 1 TIN OF MAGGI (ROYCO), 2 BOTTLES OF CURRY POWDER, 2 BOTTLES OF THYME, 1 TIN OF GROUNDNUT OIL, 1 TIN OF PALM OIL, 1 MAT (HAUSA TYPE), 1 BIG BASIN (ERICO) AND 3 NUT MEGS.

13). FOR THE PEOPLE THAT DO THE COOKING:
A). A CRATE OF MINERAL
B). A CARTON OF BEER
C). A PACKET OF CABIN BISCUIT
D). A BOTTLE OF SCHNAPPS
E). A GALLON OF PALM WINE
F). KITCHEN SUPPORT N2,000.00

For as long as I can remember, there has always been talk about my dad's need for a son. My mother suggested many years ago, when I was young that they should adopt a boy, but my dad insisted that the child must be his blood. Hence the need for a second wife.

@MRbrownJAY My parents have been in the UK since the early 70's, but my dad has been going back and forth for many years. If he wanted companioinship, he should have taken his first wife with him!

Also, my dad will never get rid of the 2nd woman. He will never admit that he has done it all wrong. As per his own words- "you want me to go a lick my vomit?!?!?"

But like most are saying, my dad has made his bed, so he can lie in it.

Hi everyone

Thanks for the responses. My father is an Igbo man (through and through!) I don't think the baby could be his, as he has been in the UK for a year now, getting hospital treatment.

He is indeed living a double life, with his second wife back home, and my mother here in the UK. He only really comes to the UK for hospital appointments/treatment. To be honest, if it wasn't for that, I'm sure he wouldn't come at all!

We have tried to speak to him sooooo many times. Even getting other family members to mediate, but he just says that we don't understand, and that he's doing it for us so that when we get married we can still come to the house and have a say. That's just BS in my opinion. We have a very good relationship with my father's brothers, and couldn't really care less of what they decided to do with the family land, etc when my dad has gone!

How can you do something for someone, when they are begging you not to do it? Doesn't it then just become all about you, and nothing to do with them?!??!

the boy was born last week, and is being looked after by his second wife back home. My dad is here recovering from chemo after having being diagnosed with prostate cancer last year. He's looking to head back to Nigeria asap.

Hey Gogmannie

My elder sister was in the same position as you, and has managed to bring a lady over from Nigeria to help her look after my nephew, and look after the house.  There is actually a special visa for people coming over to do househelp.  She considered bringing the lady over on a visit visa, but when she found that this other visa was available, she decided to do it 'legit'.  

The visa was issued with no problems, and the lady has been with us since April.  There are no limits on her stay, and she will be entitled to apply for stay after 3 or 5 years.

Our uncle found the lady for us.  She is in her late thirties, and comes from my mother's village.  I wouldn't advise bringing over someone that is too young, or someone that will be percieved as coming over for any other reason other than working for your family.  Remember the Home Office doesn't look for reasons to give you a visa, but reasons not to!

Good luck!

thanks for the replies guys. I understand the whole having a son for legacy business, but i also think it's unbelievably selfish. We are not bad children. We look after our parents well!

after i was born (27 years ago) the doctors told my mum that she could not have anymore children. So my mum and dad have 3 daughters (including myself as the youngest)

All of a sudden, 5 years ago, my dad said that he wanted to marry a second wife in order to have a son. My sister's and I were against it, and my mum adopted a non-chalent attitude. We soon learnt that they had had this conversation hundreds of times over the years, and she refused for him to marry again. Before long we got a call to say that he had married again. We were never informed of when it was happening, or who this lady was! (we live in the UK, and my dad goes back and forth to Nigeria)

So after trying for a child with no success, a couple of years ago, my dad brought up the issue of adoption. My mother went crazy as this was what she was suggesting all these years instead of going to marry again. We also supported my mother and said no.

Lo and behold, last week, my father announced that he had adopted a new born baby boy.

How can a father do something like this without a care for how it makes his children and wife feel. he is tearing his family apart!