₦airaland Forum

Cutehector:
Miyovwe


Wow ...what a unique name .. What language is the name from?

LOL 😂
It's Urhobo.
Good afternoon.

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

Block him off. Block off his every means of reaching you. Some people would never learn from other people's experiences until they experience life themselves. Let him continue to experience "real life" with his father and his wife and work out his future from there.

His mother has every right to move on to get her own life(relationship, marriage, more kids etc) back on track without the ungrateful son!

Richy4:
This thread has stayed for long like Methuselah..Well I have never been embarrassed by my kids in public but by a little girl..
I was once eating @ work canteen.... suddenly, this little white girl about 3 or 4yrs just came from no where in front of my table... Normally I no say many white kids no dey get " longathroat"

She looked at me for few seconds... Then the thing she did shocked me at the same time embarrassed me.. she just touched me on my hands.. In her little mind, she thought I painted myself black...

She was hoping that the black colour will rub off of my skin and stained her palm,.. An invitation / time to play in her little mind ... I was just looking at her with a smile.. when nothing came off, she was wondering why not... She touched me again.. nothing...

Then her father who probably was ordering something to eat and didn't know when she disappeared came and dragged her away.. Her innocence and curious mind got smiling ☺️

Wow, this was somehow sweet to read. I could imagine her innocent curious look. I would have winked and smiled at her as she was dragged away.

Cutehector:
I want to derail this thread and i need a chatterbox to do that.

Who is available for a 10page discussion in here.

Meeeee 👆

mrrobz:
I am so happy to say I will be finally marrying my soulmate please pray for us 🙏

Congratulations 🎈 👏 🎉 I wish you marital bliss.

Honeydenz:
That's the kind of marriage am in right now, am in Delta state asaba my husband resides in Edo state. For four years now it's been like this, both of us been working apart and with two kids I can tell u it's not easy for me expecially. Asides d wahala with my two daughters (children getting sick and only me running around d hospital, dropping them in school combined that with government work) I think I prefer it. Ask me Why: NOW I will highlights d pro and cons below

PRO
1.NO FIGHT OR QUARRELS AS SEEN IN MOST COUPLES LIVING TOGETHER
2.FAMILY MEMBERS FROM BOTH SIDE FIND IT HARD TO INTERFERE IN YOUR MARRIAGE since both aren't living together, they rarely visit so they find it extremely difficult to draw conclusion on you or your husband's behavior.
3.MOST MEN BECOME MARRIED BACHELOR, you have all the time and resources to still execute plans u would have executed if u were still single since u have a working class and supportive wife who is not actively dependent on you for survival. You can proceed with ur MSc degree or Ph.D with little or no challenges
4. YOU MISS EACH OTHER ALOT

CONS
1.SEX LIFE IS ALMOST ZERO
2. IT'S A MORE EXPENSIVE MARRIAGE ARRANGEMENTS (I rented in asaba, he rents in Edo, I buy gas in asaba, he buys in Edo, I cook in asaba, he cooks in Edo, almost everything in our house in asaba is also there in Edo) I haven't mentioned transport money for frequent visits and recharge card money for lengthy calls
3. ROOM FOR INFIDELITY expecially from the husband's side. You re practically treating new infection all d time and u can't remember sleeping with any other person other than your dear husband.
4. ACCIDENT OR KIDNAPPED since he's always shuttling two states (Godforbit sha)
5. DISTRACTION FROM WORK (for example my husband is starting to contemplate on starting a business instead of working under someone. because when our kids are seriously sick, he's uncomfortable and take excuse frequently from work just to come and visit which most bosses don't like)
6. PREGNANCY/TRUST ISSUES, you are constantly afraid of your hubby getting another woman pregnant or you getting pregnant for another man, and this type of pregnancy can lead to marriage failure/divorce if not handled carefully. using myself as a case study, am constantly afraid my husband might get a girl pregnant and she gives birth to a baby boy while I have two daughters, am yet to bear him a male child.

SO IF YOU'RE SOMEONE WHO LIKES THE TRUTH AND CAN HANDLE IT, THESE ARE THE BASICS COMING FROM SOMEONE ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN A LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGE, SO IT'S LEFT FOR COUPLES TO DECIDE. THANKS FOR READING!!!

Welldone ma, more grease to your elbow 💪 💪

Please does anyone know any microfinance bank or financial institutions that give business loans to START a business?

I just need 50-100k only to start my business.

I'm willing to pay back with interests.

Anyone? Thanks and God bless you greatly.