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frankwriter:
Episode 10


~ Mary’s POV ~

I Had Just Five Days

Five days until John and I went to see a fertility specialist. I had heard John schedule an appointment a week ago. To say I was freaking out would be an understatement. The thought of going to the appointment had my heart racing. Then my racing heart would trigger small panic attacks. Luckily, most occurred when John wasn’t home. They mainly happened when I had nothing to do except listen to my thoughts. I hardly slept, usually due to anxiety. I was trying to remain calm and happy on the outside. But inside of me, I felt uneasy and, albeit, guilty.

I spent much of my thoughts thinking about having a child with John. Whether he would find out my secret stash of plan B pills, or he would find out I cheated by kissing a stranger. He would only know if he suspected something or found the note Abbey had given me. The note I carried with me everywhere. As foolish as it sounds, I had nowhere else to put it. I wanted to call him but at the same time, I couldn’t. I was a wife who wasn’t sure whether I wanted to have a child with my husband. Yet, I was so tempted to call the man to hear his voice just so I could remember his touch.

I'm so ashamed to say that when I was alone, I pleasured myself in many ways by thinking of Abbey. What kind of wife spends her days bringing herself to ecstasy at the thought of another man? The thought of his lips on mine as I felt butterflies in my belly. The memory of his hand gripping my throat so I wouldn’t escape him. I was so engrossed in my fantasies of him.

There came one fateful day my husband arrived home unannounced. He found me lying on our bed with my legs splayed open, moaning in pure bliss. Two of my fingers rubbed my clit as my right hand played with my breasts. When he spoke suddenly, I screamed withdrawing my fingers from myself.

Despite my shock and embarrassment, John took my being vulnerable as an invitation. He spent the next hour sexing me from behind, taking pleasure from my body. I wasn’t even enjoying it but the sudden image of Abbey appeared. Suddenly I was getting wet and turned on as John thrust inside of me. For the first time in years, John made me cum that night. More like my imagination had.

I felt irritated after we had stopped. I was John's wife, not Abbey's.
Damn, I wasn’t Abbey's at all. We only shared a single kiss. But the kiss we shared was like no other. I had never experienced a kiss so full of desire. Neither has a man ever looked at me the way Abbey did as if I was the only woman on earth.

Although I loved John, he had never looked at me in such a way. Not as a girlfriend and not as his wife. Does it mean our love was lost? Our fire? It was as if I was having a constant battle with myself. I love John with all my heart, but the way I felt with Abbey for one night, was inexplicable.

Gbenga had said that we could be friends, but could we? I knew we would be close to crossing a line, but I wanted to be selfish. I knew this makes me a terrible wife until recently. Maybe, just maybe, I can be greedy. Just this once. I won’t cheat on John again, but maybe I could see Abbey one last time. Just to get him out of my system.

Holding the note in my left hand, I reached for my phone with my right hand. I knew John wouldn’t be home until late and I could pick up takeout on my way home. Decision made, I began dialing Abbey's number.

***

The sun was still rising, the trees stood tall as a warm breeze ruffled their leaves. The atmosphere there was peaceful and safe with a few children laughing in the playground. Their parents watched them closely as they talked with one another. Despite the cheerful atmosphere, it was a solemn sight to see. It had me wondering about my future. If I would be a great mom since I was already a poor wife? I was there, sitting on a bench, waiting for Abbey to arrive.

I was meeting a man who wasn’t my husband. A man who made me feel things I shouldn’t as a married woman. A large part of me wanted to run and go back home, possibly forgetting ever meeting this man. And go back to my mundane life of being John's wife. Would he ever forgive me if he found out?

My husband had quite the temper that’s developed over the years. He had episodes where he would get upset and ignored me. Or sometimes he’d yell, scream, or be ignorant. But those I can tolerate. I knew how to appease him and make him less angry with my body. But would that be enough if he caught on?

No, there's nothing to catch on to, Abbey and I are just friends, I said to myself.

And there he was, the man himself walking toward me. He looked as dashing as ever, even more than my fantasies. His black hair swayed along with the breeze as he took long, confident strides toward me. It was as if time had stopped, yet he was the only one moving; fast, trying to race with the wind to reach me first. I felt my eyes widen slightly as he became closer.

Oh! God, should I stand or sit?

I wasn’t sure what to do out of frazzled nerves. I wanted to see him so badly, but there I was rethinking. He looked delicious, dressed in denim jeans and a shirt with three buttons open. It was an upgrade from his work attire, but even then he looked just as attractive as he does now. I grew self-conscious of how I looked dressed in a plain yellow dress. I had my hair in a bun so they wouldn’t get in my face.

I hope I looked nice enough for him.

No, what am I saying? He said we could be friends which I agreed with at first. Earlier, I decided that today would be my last day seeing him instead. Just to get him out of my system. Besides, maybe he’s a terrible person outside of being a server. Or he only kissed me that night because he felt bad that I was sad. Maybe he agreed to be friends because he thought I was lonely. Yet, as I tried to paint him badly in my mind, I knew it was wrong.

I was trying to convince my heart to stop feeling for a stranger. I knew those thoughts were trash, and I wanted him as badly as it seemed he wanted me.
But was it just lust?

Too caught up in my head, I didn’t notice Abbey standing right in front of me. That was until I smelled the manly scent of vanilla. And his shadow blocked the sunlight that was tanning my skin. Looking up, his eyes glowed brightly in the early afternoon as smiled down at me.

“Mary,” his voice was like silk, easily liquefying me.

Just from inhaling his intoxicating scent and hearing the words that came out of his mouth, I had only one thought. How could we just be friends? I stood up abruptly, causing him to take a step back. The top of my head barely reached his collarbone. I was face to face with his seemingly ripped chest that was covered by his shirt. Swallowing harshly, it took everything in me to pull my gaze away.

To be continued…
Frank The Writer

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