₦airaland Forum

@ All posters; they’ve said it all.
Like the saying ‘every disappointment is a blessing in disguise’. I know 9yrs aint no joke but Look on the brighter side of this issue, God may be telling you something. Believe God will never take what is yours and will benefit you away from you. Move on and Cut all contacts with him, at least for now as talking to him or messaging him will make you think of him. he‘s no longer a part of you. Meet new people and most importantly pray to God. U will find someone special soon. I wish you the best.

@ davidylan, why do u think that's a bad move?
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@ telltoo; now, your last post really sound like my boy friend because he can be soo sweet and he easily accepts his fault.(but from all indications you are not him) though ur previous posts obviously tell u are tired of ur relationship and didn't show u are in love wit her , remember {quote from davidylan ; You need to verbalise and show a woman u love her}.
thank God u got a message from this, i did too. somehow i wish he gets to read this and know exactly what's in my mind, but i will take care of that myself. i wldn't mind to chat wit you. have it in mind that i and your girl may sound alike on this thread. we'll have different opinions, u still need to constantly talk to her and involve her in the things u do.
i wish u all the best with your girlfriend too.

@ telltoo
Hi telltoo, I do not think you are my BF but if I do sound like your babe then I would like to give you some advice.
U need to know that women are wired differently from men. Even though u may see things in different perspectives but u need to learn to think together with her. From ur posts, it seems she must have mentioned your shortcomings to you. If you really love her, I wonder why u had to be this bitter and why u had to direct it to her on nairaland too even though u r shocked she’s discussing ur issues here.
I suggest if you are no more interested, call her and tell her nicely ( I wont die if my BF does that, it’ll only make me see wider and be wiser. At least I wld be convinced he is not the man for me). Don’t waste her time pls.
And if you r still interested, a lady needs to see and feel love. Telling her is not enough. U need to show her, no matter how busy you are. (I don’t want my guy to spend all his time with me; I just need to be carried along.) I want to know and see that this relationship is not one sided and that u are not merely pretending.
i guess that's not too much to ask if u are planning to marry her.

he wont av time to visit nairaland, talkless or writing all that. he doesn't even check his mail unless he has to retrieve some important info. telltoo sounds mean too and frustrated. hope this aint you.

No, telltoo cant be my boyfriend

I would like to thank everyone that has contributed so far. U guys are the bomb. I really appreciate this.
I’ve tried inviting him out as you suggested but something always happens and he’ll become so apologetic. Not that I’m making excuses for him but he is very good at using the most difficult words; sorry, please and thank you. So you see why getting angry or trying to pull out will make me feel guilty each time I get mad at him.
Recently he surprised me, he bought wooden fabric for me. It’s an aso-ebi, a female colleague in his office (also my friend) is getting married. (Did I hear someone say I shd not be deceived). He even asked how much my tailor charges. That I may never get but he still asked. I acted like I might not be interested in going ( since he’s used to standing me up too) and guess what he said it was ok as he might of course be busy. We’ve decided we’ll go but he said we will not be staying long at the party.
I’ll take your advice and have a dialogue one more time. Don’t worry, keep a date. I’ll give you a feedback. But this religion thing?

I'm sorry, this is quite long but it can be longer. please read and advice .
I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for about 18 months now.

The story is----

Hmmnn. I love him (at least I think so) and he tells me he loves me every time he gets the opportunity to say it.

Don’t get me wrong I said think I love him because of the circumstances that surrounds our relationship. We are from different religious background and as I grew up my parents never fail to remind me to not to marry outside my religion.I always put that in mind before I date, it was different when I met him. I avoided starting a relationship but he was very persistent like his life would end if I did not agree. Somehow we started dating not because of his persistence but because I felt different with him (call it love): he is not a trouble maker and he seems much matured to me unlike other guys that have tried to ask me out, Plus he is good looking too (though not a point for me but that’s the physical aspect my friends see, can’t stop hearing, He looks so sweet and nice. Don’t leave this guy o.

We are at a stage where everybody that sees us together ask us why we are not married yet, like when we get an i.v. for someone’s wedding, his friends will jokingly say it's you guys' turn o. he has not asked me to marry him and I don’t want to press him but he has shown gestures like he calls me “iyawo mi” and has a pet name for me that means my beloved.

My problem with our relationship-------

Despite my parents wish. I want to marry the person I love and that loves me too. They are having a fit already and to them I’m not seeing anyone. I meet guys every now and then my cousins even want to introduce me to rich nice guys that have shown interest in me but of course I’ve declined. As I said earlier, he tells me he loves me but I believe he just says it but not show it. He is always busy, at first I understood because I know how tight his schedule is. He is also trying to set up his own business which explains why he’s always broke. I understand so I hardly expect gifts but a girl needs affection ad needs to be pampered too, no matter how little, don’t u think? We never go out. His idea of being together is me coming over to his place, when I want it vice versa; he reminds me how he has to plan a strategy to meet my parents so they will accept him and his idea of showing affection is talking to me on the phone everyday. I loved that at first as he’s always checking on me but I’m getting bored, we never do anything fun. When I try to complain, he will be apologetic and melt my heart by saying he agrees and he’ll change but he never does. He didn’t call me on my birthday and I was very sad because my toasters kept calling to take me out but my dear friend was no where to be found only to tell me he had been extraordinarily busy and didn’t forget and he would make it up to me, it’s been over a month, no outing, no gift? I’m not materialistic (that may be a problem because I don’t ask him for things) but a gift means a lot to me even if it’s just chewing gum. It means I’m in the person’s mind. Ask me do i give him gifts, yes I know the surprise I gave on his last birthday.

[I know my parents want my happiness and will give their consent if I do not bring home anyone else and they are sure he’s the best person for me. Note, I have not told him this so he doesn’t take advantage of it, I would, if I see more seriousness. I’m not very happy at the moment and I can’t boast and say he can always be there for me. I’m ready for marriage and if you ask him the same, he’ll say yes. I’m confused here. What should I do now? Am I expecting too much?