Thankyou very much. I have appreciated all your messages. Whether positive or negative, and since I know you don't know me, you were coming from a place of help. I have decided to work on my business plans, and execute all my deliverables without fear. On the note that I am a weakling, I am not. I just put too much faith in women. I believed that if I was a good person, supported my wife fully and did everything I had to do as a provider, plus I remained faithful, then I wouldn't have to now go looking for respect. I thought by that respect would be automatic, regardless of what I decided to do with my life. I thought that was irrelevant, as long as I fulfilled my manly duties. But let me tell you something, women are suckers for peer pressure. They cannot handle it. Even indirectly, you are always trying to compete with your friends and their rich boyfriends/husbands. Is it too much to ask that you leave me alone to do my business as I have empowered you?. What if I am a late bloomer? I really thank you for all your comments. You don't know how clear is it what I have to do STARTING TOMORROW MORNING. Thanks people.

Rosarie, what if I told you that I never wanted to move into that expensive house? I begged her to allow us to stay in my rented house which I was paying 100,000 Naira and receive rent from the new house of almost 400,000? She flatly refused and made us move into a house that honestly wasn't of our class (yet). Let me also add that out of that 10m I gave my mum about 1.5m and my bro about 500,000. I also gave my wife a further 250,000. I also had to pay her father 250,000 that SHE had borrowed from him. I also spent some on our new baby who was born that year etc etc. I didn't waste the money my dear. I haven't told the full story.

Rosarie:
dinachi re u married?mr man to b frank u re lazy n filled with procastinations.no woman appreciates a lazy man.how can u say six years u do not ve a means of living.u live of family who is encouraging your laziness.if u want to set up bis must it b wit ur family?hw canu use a whole ten m to settle debts.!is not like d debt wos invested.are u a boy dat ur wife n family manipulates u n den u start getting jealous of ur wife sucess n u re looking for whom to blame for ur failure.dnt allow ur kids see u as a failed father cos ur wife already sees u dat way.go n dust ur cert n get a job wit ur family influence.cos wit ur laziness if u enter business it will crumble

I do have ambition, but whenever I get excited about an idea, I'm ready to invest in it and now I start going around to the people I care for advice (my main mistake), my wife shuts it down, and because I don't want to cause problems in the house, I let it go, continue getting rent from my properties (the money isn't enough) and look for another idea. It's a vicious cycle that has left me broken bro. But I have received some valuable bits of advice from this forum.

Chartey:

I think you need to grow up.
Your lack of drive and ambition frustrates your wife.
At least she's doing to your face. Do you know how what your family and friends say behind you?

Thanks for the comments, really. That is exactly what I needed: A reality check.

Thanks for the comments, really. That is exactly what I needed: A reality check.

I am 37 years old. We got married 6 years ago and had two children. I come from a well off family so life wasn't difficult. I have always been able to get money from handouts from my family as well as some rental properties that I inherited. As a wedding gift my parents bought us a house that is now valued at about 180m Naira. To be honest, I haven't really been working very hard to chart my own financial path and I don't really know why. I have no motivation to do business, start any business or even work in the family business. I've started to believe it is because the person who is supposed to be supporting me the most, is always putting me down. Any time that I come up with a new business idea she crushes my dreams, telling me how bad that idea is. My father passed away a few years ago and everytime I tell my wife I have gone to do business with my mum, or I want to buy a piece of land with my mother and brother, she gets upset. Now here comes the abuse: when we argue and she tells me to get out of the house, I refuse and tell her its my house. She quickly replies "No it's your mothers house" "A real man works hard and struggles to make it" I have been called all types of names e.g. 'youre lazy" "you're not a good dad (mind you she's always screaming and beating on my son)" "you're not a real man", "Bleep is more of a man than you", etc. I got tired of all that so I decided to empower her, so a couple of years ago, I sold a piece of land worth 20 million Naira and gave her 10 to start a business. I spent my 10 on debts, paying bills, running the house etc. That 10 million has spawned 3 other businesses on her part while I am still stuck with no business of my own. She has never shared or offered to share any profits of those businesses with me, which is ok by me as I really don't need her money. I am still called all types of names, despite the fact that I pay all the house bills, school fees, electricity, DSTV etc. She pays for nothing. When she shops for items from the supermarket, vegetable market etc, she will give me a detailed bill of what she has spent and I HAVE TO REFUND. Refund? we are all eating the food, I don't ask for help every month, and I have to refund? She constantly reminds me that is what a man is supposed to do, pay all the bills in the house, and that I get my money for free while she has to work hard for it. But my question is, do I need this treatment? am I too nice? Please help.

I am 37 years old. We got married 6 years ago and had two children. I come from a well off family so life wasn't difficult. I have always been able to get money from handouts from my family as well as some rental properties that I inherited. As a wedding gift my parents bought us a house that is now valued at about 180m Naira. To be honest, I haven't really been working very hard to chart my own financial path and I don't really know why. I have no motivation to do business, start any business or even work in the family business. I've started to believe it is because the person who is supposed to be supporting me the most, is always putting me down. Any time that I come up with a new business idea she crushes my dreams, telling me how bad that idea is. My father passed away a few years ago and everytime I tell my wife I have gone to do business with my mum, or I want to buy a piece of land with my mother and brother, she gets upset. Now here comes the abuse: when we argue and she tells me to get out of the house, I refuse and tell her its my house. She quickly replies "No it's your mothers house" "A real man works hard and struggles to make it" I have been called all types of names e.g. 'youre lazy" "you're not a good dad (mind you she's always screaming and beating on my son)" "you're not a real man", "Bleep is more of a man than you", etc. I got tired of all that so I decided to empower her, so a couple of years ago, I sold a piece of land worth 20 million Naira and gave her 10 to start a business. I spent my 10 on debts, paying bills, running the house etc. That 10 million has spawned 3 other businesses on her part while I am still stuck with no business of my own. She has never shared or offered to share any profits of those businesses with me, which is ok by me as I really don't need her money. I am still called all types of names, despite the fact that I pay all the house bills, school fees, electricity, DSTV etc. She pays for nothing. When she shops for items from the supermarket, vegetable market etc, she will give me a detailed bill of what she has spent and I HAVE TO REFUND. Refund? we are all eating the food, I don't ask for help every month, and I have to refund? She constantly reminds me that is what a man is supposed to do, pay all the bills in the house, and that I get my money for free while she has to work hard for it. But my question is, do I need this treatment? am I too nice? Please help.