MusingsOfALady's Posts
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I wish I could say I understand your point. How does this attack marriages? Plus I think you have a wrong notion of real feminism. Or maybe you don't. yougosee: |
The Price of a M.R.S Degree A M.R.S. degree is a highly sought after and coveted degree. No matter how many other degrees previously held, whether it be M.Sc, MBA, MA or even PhD, Nigerian society does not give them a great value if the lady does not possess a M.R.S. As a result, over the years, ladies have paid highly to acquire this degree but what price is too much to pay? A while ago while handling a project, I met a nice and upcoming young man. One day during the Ebola outbreak, I remarked that a lot of businesses, especially eateries, were hit hard by the outbreak. He replied that his money would not be missed as he never eats out. “Never?” I asked, “Well, that will change soon" I said with a smile since I knew he was engaged. “No, it won’t ma", he replied emphatically. “My fiancee knows I don’t like eateries; I prefer to stay indoors and we cook”., "So, you don’t like Restaurants and Hotels too?" I asked “How can you court a woman and never take her out? Haba, you need to wine and dine her o” “I have taken her out but never to eat and she is very Ok with it”, he insisted. "Ok o", I said (wetin concern me?), On another occasion I remarked to him on the need for organizations to introduce Flexi time especially to enable women manage work and home better. He told me stoically “My wife will never work, she will do business”., I said "Really?! Is that what she wants?” “That is what I want!" He answered,o, “But what of what she wants?” I persisted “Well, we have discussed it and she is ok with it” he replied. I informed him of several jobs that can afford a woman time with the family etc, but he just kept shaking his head. A few weeks later, I ran into him and he informed me of his upcoming wedding. I congratulated him and while inquiring about the date and other arrangements he said he is only doing a Traditional Wedding. I inquired if it was for financial reasons or the lady was pregnant but he said No to both reasons, and it’s just because he doesn’t really see the need for a white wedding and he will go to church on Sunday for thanksgiving. I couldn’t reign in my curiosity (as usual!) I told him that it’s the dream of almost every young lady to walk down the aisle in her white dress and asked “Are you telling me she doesn’t mind?” “Madam, to me Church wedding is just an imported ceremony, the real wedding is the traditional and that’s what am doing” he answered. “Yes, but you still did not answer my question” I persisted “Well, we discussed it and I’ve convinced her and she is ok with it”, he answered. Finally I saw him a few weeks after the wedding and guess what? He wasn’t wearing a wedding band! I didn’t know you don’t use bands in your church “I said” “We actually do but in my family we don’t use rings” (Ok, I have heard a lot of things but definitely not this!!) “Really? I said, so your new bride isn’t sporting a ring” No, ma! He said in a voice that begged I drop the subject. “So, she agreed to this as well?” I probed “Well, it took me time but I convinced her” he answered. I decided to let the matter be. It is very possible that the young lady in question actually shares this man’s views and these things are not a compromise to her. I however believe that a M.R.S should not cost you your dreams, the things you love or enjoy. You will certainly adjust some things to accommodate your spouse just as he also needs to adjust to accommodate you. Coincidentally later that day I was chatting with an old dear friend and we were discussing the price we paid for our own M.R.S. We not only changed our names, we stopped our good jobs, moved to a different town, left our friends, became lonely and jobless for a while etc. The desperation for the prestigious M.R.S degree has made a lot of women pay a price they regret right after getting the degree. Living with such compromises can lead to bitterness. Yes, we all pay something to get the M.R.S. degree but what price shouldn’t one pay? What was the biggest price you paid for your M.R.S? What price won’t you pay or allow your sister/daughter to pay to become a MRS? All Rights Reserved © 2015 Oluseye Igbafe Visit my blog: http://oluseyeigbafe..com.ng/2015/08/the-price-of-mrs-degree.html
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Again Sexualization is not all about clothes! The boys are ok and well dressed but they are models so they fly their collars and strike different poses. The accessories like chains, sunshades etc are uncalled for except your child is modeling too. However if your child walks around striking poses, pouting, stuffing his hands in his pockets etc then your child is showing a tendency to be vain and shallow. Self acceptance and confidence is important but a good solid character is more important, lets deemphasize looks at this age. |
I don't think the right word is "provocative"(intended to arouse). However children can appear indecent and unnecessarily exposed when bum shorts is worn at an inappropriate place. The emphasis of the post is not just on bum shorts. It's the overall outlook of a child. A child should never be described as "hot", sexy or a chick. Beyond bum shorts there are many other ways we sexualize our children- for example- through Music and dancing. A lot of children can give Beyounce a run for her money, they twerk and sing lurid lyrics. Even sometimes through nicknames- imagine another calling her daughter- sexy mama? Another common one is allowing them to watch age inappropriate movies with you, exposing them to sexual content on TV programmes etc . Lets not get fixed on bum shorts, its not the single factor causing it, there are other factors as well. |
I have girls too. Just plan well to reduce their pain, there are so many natural hair moisturizing products that soften hair, apply that early and also buy a very good detangler spray if you want them to be natural. SAMBARRY: |
Yeah right! Lol ![]() Like anyone still keeps those kinda dreads anymore. ( SAMBARRY: |
Pele. I go online and find simple children's hairstyles or simple cornrow styles. It's amazing how many easy yet unique styles you can get online rather than subjecting them to long hours in the salon and painful hairdos. SAMBARRY: |
Yes, Children are a reflection of their parents but children are not toys or decorations for show. The emphasis should be on our kids reflecting our values more than our sense of fashion. We should also take in consideration their comfort as well as the values our fashion will reinforce in them Some parents go as far as relaxing their 1 year old child's hair without considering the impact of the chemicals to the tender scalp, some make their child's hair for hours while the poor child screams and cries in pain. Truth is if you subject your child to pain or discomfort or expose them unnecessarily just to show your your sense of fashion - it is Child abuse. SAMBARRY: |
The boys are very cute but not the dreads. That's just unnecessary. SAMBARRY: |
You can't totally absolve the Fathers, someone just commented on how her father brought her up. While the father dosent usually buy the clothes or applies the makeup, his responsibilty is not limited to providing. He should set the tone for what is acceptable and on his his children should be brought up. The reason some women don't do it is because of their husbands. |
Roland17:Great post, can't agree more. |
SAMBARRY:Bum shorts and halter neck in the house or to the beach is ok. I don't agree with anywhere else. Also if a child wears it when young, how do you know say its unacceptable later? |
Omolade.oyekunbi@yahoo.com |
Hannysmilez:Wow! Can you imagine a teacher saying that? That's just crazy. Children should watch things that are age appropriate. |
bukatyne:The dance steps are just too bad. I agree that those things should be for kids. |
jaymejate:Bum short is basically more of a beach wear or house wear. |
As I waited in the departure lounge of a local airport, I noticed there were many children about but it was understandable since it was summer holiday. One other thing I noticed was the way most of the children were dressed. Most of them, especially the girls, were dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. The clothes in themselves weren't the issue per se; it was the overall look of the children that had me bothered. That was definitely not the first time I noticed it.http://oluseyeigbafe..com.ng/2015/09/sexualization-of-children.html |



