₦airaland Forum

Good evening house,

Any recent travel experience using Turkish Airlines to the UK? Any transit visa or challenges? Kindly share review and experience please,

Thank you

Hello everyone,

Thanks for all the help you give. I have a few questions.

1. Do you need your travel ticket to request for your PTA or just your visa?

2. If you are travelling with children, can you buy more than $4k for the trip?

3. Which banks are the best in giving PTA?

Thank you

Hello Everyone,

Received my Visa today.

Did biometrics on Sept 15 at Ikeja TLS.
I applied early because of the 8-9 weeks average processing time.
Didn't even bother to track because of it.
Got a mail on Friday that the passport had been dispatched by DHL - took delivery today. About 4 weeks later.

Some previous travel to the UK.

Great thing was the validity starts on my chosen travel date.

Praise be to God!

Thank you everyone for your help. Wish all other applicants, speedy good news.

Now I need some guide on requesting for the PTA with these new CBN Guideline. kindly assist.
Thanks

Hello People,

Please how do you change your Tls centre? I want to change from Ikeja to VI

[quote author=lantrenzo post=116206277][/quote]Please what date did you eventually get?

Good evening House,

I tried to pay for my Visa application using GTB card and the card was declined. Can anyone advise how I can make payment? I need to make multiple paymnets.

Thank you

Good Morning great people. Thanks for consistent help on this platform.

In uploading the support documents for the children, should all the dcuments be uploaded or just their birth certificate and evidence of studies. Do I need to upload other documents as with the principal applicant(parents)?

Thanks

justwise:
Please read my last post again as it answered your question

@justwise.

Apparently I didn't understand your response cos If I understood, then I wont be repeating the question. I even stated your response wasn't clear to me. Picking either of the values could have simply made it easier for me to understand.

Thanks

justwise:
Your monthly salary is exactly what it's not and NOT what it was or will be in future. State exactly what appears in your bank statement and payslip, if there is additional payment from your company then explain that in your application form

@Justwise. Thanks. but I'm not really clear. No vex!

My current total income from the company is 45k. 35k is salary, 10k a temporary allowance. total on payslip is 45k - When asked my total monthly income which one should I state? Do I state 45k then explain the 10k? or state 35k and explain the extra 10k?

thanks bro

Good Morning @Justwise

TGIF

I need your advise on how best to represent my pay.

My letter of employment states I am to earn e.g 50k but due to the economy, the company is currently and consistently paying N35k.

Now the company is also supposed to give me a house from about 3 months ago but also due to the economy the company is giving me N10k monthly pending the house allocation. So the total inflow (paid separately) is N45k. The 10k when paid is called House allocation compensation. But if I print a 6 months statement, it will show the inflow as 35k for 3 months and 45k for 3months.

Yet my LOE states salary should be 50k. I have letters to support all the cuts and payments but what should I state my monthly income to be 3kk or 45k?

these figures are just for example.

justwise:
Make a note in each application that it's a famy trip paid by(you or whoever is paying) so in children's finseancial section you will input 00

Thank you so much @justwise

So to the question: How much money are you planning to spend on this visit, I should put 00.

Should I also put N00 on ' What is the total amount of money you spend each month?

Thanks

Hello @Justwise and Team,

Thanks for your amazing work on this thread.


I am applying for a 6 months visiting visa for an adult and two children, Can you kindly advise how best I can handle the finances for the children?

1. How do I capture all the cost for the trip?
For example if the trip is costing 100k do I place the total cost of 100k on the principal's application and nothing for the children or do I repeat the cost as 100k for each applicant or share the cost across the 3 applicants?

2. The person sending the invite is also contributing 500pounds towards the trip, how should that also be treated?

Thanks

Hello All,

If we are using assisted service, do we need one for the primary applicant or for all applicants? (minors)

Thanks

Thank you for your response.

Just to be clear, rather than choose flexi, you choose same day and time slot for all of you?

Can more than 1 person choose same time slot? Also do you know if the passports can be couriered together?

Thank you

Infiosa:
I felt exactly the same when I was applying last month, the charges are extremely crazy and exploitative. What I did was to pick the same day and time for me and my family and it was treated as a single family application.

@justwise and the wise ones,

I am aplying for a UK visit for 3 people, one adult and 2 minors. While trying to book an appointment, I read that Flexi appointment should be used for group or family with a charge of 84pounds!!!!. Will this be a one-off charge or will each member of the family be charged 84pound?

The same question applies for the courier and sms alert? Will these expenses be paid individually or as a group?

Lastly, can we select 3 free time slots for the family? These chrges are crazy

Thank you

ARE YOU SEXUALIZING YOUR CHILDREN?

Written by Oluseye Igbafe

As I waited in the departure lounge of a local airport, I noticed there were many children about but it was understandable since it was summer holiday. One other thing I noticed was the way most of the children were dressed. Most of them, especially the girls, were dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. The clothes in themselves weren't the issue per se; it was the overall look of the children that had me bothered. That was definitely not the first time I noticed it.


A few months before, I had taken my kids to a birthday party and found myself in what could easily have been a night club for kids. Scanty clothing such as tight or very short clothes, bum shorts, long weaves, etc, seemed to be the dress code. I noticed my daughter glancing around her, probably wondering, "What in God's world are these other children wearing?" Or something like that.



Not long after, the kids were called out to dance to the hit songs of the season - these songs in my opinion should be rated PG 13. 4-6 year olds trooped to the dance floor, miming the sexually explicit songs and gyrating their bodies in the most sensual manner. They could have given Beyounce a run for her money.


They ran their hands over their bodies, shook their booties hard while their parents cheered them on. The boys had their upper shirts unbuttoned and rapped along perfectly to gangsta raps while doing flawless break dance.


Those who danced like actual children where shooed off the dance floor while the lewd ones were cheered on. As I watched, my child stared out of this circle looking longingly at the others dancing. I knew it was time to leave. As we left, we went to a eatery where I bought them ice cream and gently explained to them the concept of decency and dancing with decorum.

Another time, at a game arcade for kids, I ran into a lady who had made-up her kids' faces like they were mannequins for Tara or Mac beauty products. Their skirts were so tight, that running up and down the slide was uncomfortable for them.




So the question is, why are we sexualizing our kids? Why does your 4, 6 or 9 year old girl have to look like a chick? Why does she have to be hot or sexy? Should your 8 year old son go around with a comb in his hair and his pants sagged almost to his ankles?


If your child wears bum shorts out of the house at age 3, why should she be expected to wear longer ones at 15? If she wears 2 rings and 12 bangles at 6, why won't she pierce a second ear hole at 17 and her bellybutton at 19?

Why won't your son pierce his own ear at 15? Are you setting your children up to be immodest and indecent? What trend are you starting them on? That all these are fashionable or trendy doesn't mean it's ok.


Some parents even dress their children like this to church. Church!

What are you teaching the child? What happened to children wearing dresses to church? Children can look very nice and decent, they can be well covered and still look good. In this age, when children are being abused, is it wise to make your child an object of anyone's sexual attention?

When I hear some children belt out sexually explicit lyrics, I ask myself how they became exposed to this songs! As a parent, you can't play the CD of such songs and not expect your children to pick them up; the same goes for watching Mtv Base, Channel O, etc with your children.

Studies have shown that children exposed to a high level of sexually explicit information tend to become sexually active early. Is that your goal as a parent?

Being a Parent involves sacrifice. You will need to avoid listening to such music where your children are.

Most of those lyrics demean women and teach your daughter that she's just a intimacy gadget and her body is for squeezing. It teaches the boys that money is everything and women are things to be used to satisfy their primal urges. These music introduces them to a degrading pop culture.

Our children have their lives ahead of them, let's set them on the right path by teaching them to dress decently and sing nice or age-appropriate songs. Let your children be children. Train up a child in the way that s/he should go and when s/he is old, s/he would not depart from it.

(C) Oluseye Igbafe. www.themusinglady.com

This article was written by Oluseye Igbafe on her blog www.themusinglady.com and published on several other magazines and even a national daily


It is plagiarism to claim someone else writeup.

Pls acknowledge the rightful author or take it down.

Thanks

obikirinoni:
All parents pls take your time and run thru this . REPOSTED:



YOUR CHILDREN ARE SEXY? ??

Few weeks ago, I was at the local airport and as I waited in the departure lounge, I noticed there were many children roaming about but it was understandable since it was summer holiday.

One other thing I noticed was the way most of the children were dressed. Most of them, especially the girls, were dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. The clothes in themselves weren't the issue per se; it was the overall look of the children that had me bothered. That was definitely not the first time I noticed it.

A few months before, I had taken my kids to a birthday party and found myself in what could easily have been a night club for kids. Scanty clothing such as tight or very short clothes, bum shorts, long weaves, etc, seemed to be the dress code. I noticed my son glancing around, probably wondering, "What in God's world are these other children wearing?" Or something like that.

Not long after, the kids were called out to dance to the hit songs of the season - these songs in my opinion should be rated PG 16. 4 - 6 year olds trooped to the dance floor, miming the sexually explicit songs and gyrating their bodies in the most sensual manner.
They could have given Beyonce a run for her money. They ran their hands over their bodies, shook their booties hard while their parents cheered them on. The boys had their upper shirts unbuttoned and rapped along perfectly to gangsta raps while doing flawless break dance.

Those who danced like actual children where shooed off the dance floor while the lewd ones were cheered on. As I watched, my child stared out of this circle looking longingly at the others dancing. I knew it was time to leave.

As we left, we went to an eatery where I bought them ice cream and gently explained to them the concept of decency and dancing with decorum.

Another time, at a game arcade for kids, I ran
into a lady who had made-up her kids' faces like they were mannequins for Tara or Mac beauty products. Their skirts were so tight, that running up and down the slide was uncomfortable for them.

So the question is, why are we sexualizing our kids? Why does your 4, 6 or 9 year old girl have to look like a chick? Why does she have to be hot or sexy? Should your 8 year old son go around with a comb in his hair and his pants sagged almost to his ankles?

If your child wears bum shorts out of the house at age 3, why should she
be expected to wear longer ones at 15? If she wears 2 rings and 12 bangles at 6, why won't she pierce a second ear hole at 17 and her bellybutton at 19? Why won't your son pierce his own ear at 15?

Are you setting your children up to be immodest and indecent? What trend are you starting them on? That all these are fashionable or trendy doesn't mean it's ok. What happened to children wearing dresses.
Children can look very nice and decent, they can be well covered and still look good.

In this age, when children are being abused. Is it wise to make your child an object of anyone's sexual attention? When I hear some children belt out sexually explicit lyrics, I ask myself how they became exposed to this songs!

As a parent, you can't play the CD of such songs and not expect your children to pick them up; the same goes for watching Mtv Base, Channel O, etc with your children. Studies have shown that children exposed to a high level of sexually explicit information tend to become sexually active early. Is that your goal as a parent?

Being a parent involves sacrifice. You will need to avoid listening to such music where your children are. Most of those lyrics demean women and teach your daughter that she's just a intimacy gadget and her body is for squeezing. It teaches the boys that money is everything and women are things to be used to satisfy their primal urges. These music introduces them to a degrading pop culture.

Our children have their lives ahead of them, let's set them on the right path by teaching them to dress decently and sing nice or age-appropriate songs. Let your children be children. Train up a child in the way that s/he should go and when s/he is old, s/he would depart from it.

By Oluseye Igbafe

A Power Generation Company located in Port Harcourt, Rivers State requires the services of a Chief Security Office.


Key Duties and Responsibilities

• Oversee and Safeguard the company’s facilities, installations and personnel by ensuring the deployment of efficient and effective security infrastructure and services.

• Lead the Security function in the management of physical, technical and personal security, ensuring that the company’s staff and assets are protected.

• Lead and direct all activities relating to the creation and maintenance of a secure physical environment for the company.

• Coordinate communication of approved security policies, procedures and measures to all staff and conduct programs/ trainings to cultivate a security conscious culture amongst the company’s workforce.

• Drive appropriate monitoring and timely resolution of security-related issues across the organization and ensure security personnel are prepared for disaster recovery at all times.

• Monitor the effectiveness of the organization’s security systems on an on-going basis and identify and recommend relevant security enhancement systems, programs and initiatives to ensure the organization’s assets remain adequately protected.
• Collaborates with internal departments to support and influence community relations efforts.
• Review the unit’s activities and make recommendations for improvement to the Head, Admin Services.
• Manage the unit’s budget and ensure expenditures within authority limits.
• Prepare and submit relevant security and management reports of activities from the security unit.
• Conduct performance review of subordinates.
• Prepare periodic report for the attention of the CEO.
• Perform other tasks as assigned by the CEO.

Education and Work Experience
• Bachelor’s degree or its equivalent in humanities (preferably Psychology) or security related discipline.
• Relevant Professional security certification
• Minimum of ten (10) years relevant experience.
• Previous military/paramilitary/policing experience will be an advantage.

Skills and Competencies
• Good knowledge and understanding of security systems and management.
• Sound understanding of the company’s security requirements and ability to deploy best fit systems.
• Ability to pay attention to details and to anticipate security issues from nuances within the plant and external to the plant
• Good negotiation skills.
• Display good leadership and people management skills.
• Possess good communication, interpersonal and networking skills.
• Strong analytical and problem solving skills.
• Display good supervisory, coaching and mentoring skills.
• Exhibit proficiency in the use of MS Office tools.


Remuneration: Very Attractive

Location: Port Harcourt

If you meet the above requirements, please send CV to csoapply@gmail.com latest by February 12, 2017, only shortlisted applicants will be contacted.

Asking Bloggers to create an article will not really give you the publicity you need or desire.
A better idea might be to create an attractive banner that captures the details, your logo etc with a link to your website where readers can support their nominees.

Emotional abuse can be quite difficult to recognize by abused persons; and even by family and friends. This is because it doesn’t leave any physical scar and is often done behind closed doors. It is difficult to recognize because the abuse often starts as a normal relationship conflict.

Worse still, emotional abuse can sometimes reinforce the negative perceptions and emotions that victims already have of themselves, thereby, making it seem as though the abuse or criticism is not only true but deserved. This is more true for those with pre-existing self-esteem issues.

The first step to stopping emotional abuse is recognizing it; recognizing abuse is a huge part of stopping itself. When you are able to tell yourself, "s/he's wrong" or "this isn't right", you are half the way to saying, "stop this behavior".


9 Steps to Stopping the Abuse


Once you have spotted emotional abuse, it is time to face up to it and stop it. In most cases, abusive people do not change. If you are therefore not married to the abuser, it is best you break off the relationship and walk away. If, however, you are married and have children and do decide to remain in the relationship, then below are possible things to do to stop the abuse.


1. Have a Strong Support System: Have strong and meaningful relationships outside your partner. Have good friends and keep in touch with your family; talk to your family/friends/counselors regularly. Refuse to be isolated from your friends as their support will give you emotional balance.

2. Build Your Self-Esteem: Don’t internalize every criticism; believe in yourself. No one is perfect and you probably are not more flawed than the others, so reject every attempt to bring you down. Recognize that you have a right to be who you are. Celebrate yourself and focus on the positives.

3. Set boundaries on emotional outbursts: You need to inform your abuser that you will not tolerate emotional abuse: you have to be adamant about this. Let your partner know that you are open to hearing his concerns about your actions and how they affect him, but will no longer engage in conversations that attack who you are as a person.

4. Don’t appear upset: Your abuser thrives on his ability to hurt you, try to remain calm and unaffected. If possible remain upbeat. Smile as though you did not hear the abusive words. Crying and sadness would feed his desire to hurt you.

5. Refrain from engaging in tit-for-tat: This is easier said than done but it is better to keep calm and refuse to descend into exchange of words as this may escalate into violence. Also, you want to set the standard for right and respectful communication. Do not be tempted into trying to beat them at their own game: Two wrongs don’t make a right!

6. Talk About It When Everyone is Calm: Realize that this is a problem and would not go away on its own. You need to let your abuser know what s/he is doing wrong; do this after everybody has calmed down. If you believe this will trigger another attack, then don't do it alone. Make sure you have a trusted friend, a mediator, or a counselor in the room with you.


i. State how you feel when s/he insults you, yells, calls you names, tries to control you, etc. E.g. "I feel sad, hurt, and angry when you insult me."


ii. Set your boundaries: Let s/he know that you will not allow them treat you this way anymore. (e.g. "I love you but I am not going to let you treat me like that anymore."


iii. State how you would like them to treat you instead. For example, "I want you to talk to me about problems without calling me names, comparing me to people you don't like, or making fun of me."


iv. State what you will do if they don't treat you with respect and continue to be abusive. For instance, "If you insult me and speak to me disrespectfully, I will not reply or I will leave the room.


v. State what you will do if the behavior continues repeatedly and be willing to follow through. (e.g. "If you continue to insult me we will need to either go into counseling or end the relationship/marriage as I do not wish to live in such abuse."

7. Get Counseling for Yourself: Counseling is important as it provides you with the support you need to make strong decisions. Make sure you see a counselor who is unbiased and has some form of professional training.

8. Get Counseling for Each Other: If you wish to continue the relationship, it's a good idea to go to counseling together to learn better ways of communicating. If you cannot go into counseling together, then each of you should at least go into counseling individually. Even if your abuser refuses to go into counseling, still go into counseling by yourself, for yourself.

9. Take Responsibility For Your Life: Realize that it is your life and the only life you will live; take responsibility for your life. Never believe you don’t deserve better. If your abuser makes no commitment to change, then it might be best to leave or seek help.

Finally, If you try to end the abuse and it doesn't change, then you must make the decision that is best for you and for your children (if any). Growing up in an abusive environment can also impact your children negatively.

Recognize that you deserve better, no matter what your abuser is telling you. Don't linger in an abusive relationship.

Don't become a victim.



Culled from www.themusinglady.com
All Rights Reserved © 2015- 2016 Oluseye Igbafe

You don't speak for everyone.

Marlvin:

Sooner you realise no one gives a flying fūck about that, the better for you .

It's something to keep a "serious eye" on, it needs to be stopped.

Akposkool:
That's signs of a possessive guy. So annoying

That pretty girls do it doesn't make it right.

If you are in a relationship with someone who does that, you need to have some serious talk, except its a fling of course....

100Cents:
Most pretty girls do all these things.

Always seeking for empathy?

Have you read of her seeking for empathy before .She is thanking God for what she has been through.

Marlvin:
Always seeking for self empathy !


No one asked if you've been through hell or hades !

Wow!
Some story you must have.....

Thank God for his grace

halfricanadian:


It took only d grace of God

Honestly not my effort one bit

It was terible nd painful


Not even for a trillion dollars will i ever choose to do dat again never!

Cyber hugs dearie

Thank God you are a Survivor

halfricanadian:
Tank God gave me the strength only him did

Tank u God i am good

Went to tru hell

Bt back tank u God

Recently, there has been an increase in the projection of the fight against domestic violence especially in the light of the woman allegedly murdered by her husband. The social media has become a great tool in creating awareness about the ills of domestic violence as well as creating an avenue of outcry for the victims.

There is however is a less popular yet very deadly form of abuse that many are daily subjected to. Some even have no idea that they are being abused. This form of abuse is called Emotional Abuse. While the Physical abuse batters and damages the body, Emotional abuse destroys the spirit and the soul. Ultimately both can lead to death.

So what is Emotional Abuse? Emotional abuse also called Mental or Psychological abuse involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threats, bullying, constant criticism and intimidation. It often precedes physical abuse.

All forms of abuse take their toll on the self esteem of the abused but Emotional abuse or Physiological warfare- if you prefer- does extensive damage to the self esteem and self worth of the victim. It also causes emotional instability, sleep disturbances, withdrawal, depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, mental imbalance Fear etc.

Sometimes the victims of the abuse don't see the mistreatment as abusive and therefore remain in the relationship perpetually. While this can be done by either gender, studies seem to suggest that over 75% of abuse is done by men.

So if you are not sure what constitutes Emotional abuse, here are 10 warning signs


1. Publicly Humiliating or Embarrassing you: They degrade you publicly or ridicule you in front of others. This also involves calling you names, treating you shabbily, shouting at you, saying demeaning things to you in the presence of others. This is sometimes shrouded in jokes and you are accused of being too sensitive or lacking a sense of humor.

2. Constant Put downs: Using derogatory terms like stupid or foolish, dumb, daft etc or Using a sarcastic voice while saying things like "Aren't you supposed to be a graduate?' Shouldn't you have enough sense to figure that out? Etc They give you names, unpleasant labels and often make cutting remarks.


3. Withdrawal of Affection: Denying you love and support, refusing to meet your emotional needs. Refusing to pay compliments or show any form of endearment. Treats you like a sexual object, more interested in the process than the person.

4. Refusing to Communicate: Refusing to talk to you and respond to you. Ignoring you when you want to talk, refusing to make eye contact or giving mono syllable responses. Refusing to tell you things that are happening thereby causing you many embarrassing moments. They deliberately shut you out and give you the silent treatment.

5. Hypercriticism/ Constant Disapproval: Subjecting you to highly unreasonable standards which others aren't subjected to. Finding fault in everything you do, seeing no good in you and dismissive of all your accomplishments and successes. They are always right and you are always wrong. Even your thoughts, opinions and feeling are judged as wrong while they never take responsibility for any wrong doing. Nothing you do is ever good enough

6. Lack of Support: They never motivate you to achieve your goals or be the best yet when you go for it; abusers become critical and cynical of your success. Rather than support you, they ridicule you and demean your efforts. When you make great achievements, they do not recognize or celebrate it rather they mock it.

7. Isolation: Sometimes abusers drive a wedge between their victim and their friends and family. They try to keep you from your support system or keep them away from you.


8. Threatening: They always make threats. These threats are intended to breed fear and grant them control. They threaten to leave you or find another partner. They make threats to deal with you financially.

9. Extramarital Affairs or Provocative Behavior with the Opposite Sex: While withdrawing affection and support from their partners; they are quick to lavish such displays of affection on others. They sometimes engage in extra marital affairs or inappropriate relationships with the aim of provoking jealousy or hurting their partners.

10. Unreasonable Jealousy: They become jealous of any relationship that gives you joy. They are quick to suspect and accuse. This jealousy can even be extended to your family members, same-gender friends, colleagues etc.

If you recognize any of the above signs of emotional abuse in your relationship, you need to be honest with yourself so you can regain power over your own life. If you aren’t yet married, it might be best to walk away if you are married, and are in an abusive relationship, I urge you to get start by getting some counseling and professional help and guidance.

All Rights Reserved ©2016 Oluseye Igbafe
www.themusinglady.com


Share your views

Now you are assuming what am into and not into.

Feminism is oriented at the whole society. Its shouldn't be just targeted at the family only. Feminism doesn't remove gender roles or differences. it just gives a choice.

oloyede252:
we are still saying the same thing..women like you are not in science and tech or politics.all we see is feminism in family.kilode na only family una dey interestd in

If Dora Akunyili had run run for Presidency, I would have voted for her.

I will vote for Competence and not gender. If I simply voted for Patience because she is a woman then am guilty of prejudice as well.

donbenedict:
if patience jonathan runs for president come 2019, will u vote for her?