₦airaland Forum

omojoshy:
That's just $2,049:00 Dollars. Nigeria currency is fast becoming that of Zimbabwe in value.

God please help your children.

Zimbabwe has been using USD since 2009, ignorance isn't a talent.

yomi007k:
Wat language is ds pls?

shona

hamzeiy:
...

are you saying the woman has the right to do all she did because he removed a wedding ring....anyway..the dude is to gentle for my liking...yeah marriage comes with it ups and downs but HABA cooking for your Ex...chatting with him even aftr its clear he has motives....The guy most be pathetic not to react

What i simply meant is that to every action there is a reaction. If you open a door for your wife to grow distant from you, a lot will definitely happen.

If you ever took time to read the other thread on this issue, the guy also complained about her size down there are 2children and he takes off the ring even over non-marital related issues. You cannot tell that after all of that you can still expect you wife not to grow distant from you.

Im here simply pointing out what he did wrong and also where she went wrong. Im not here to play girl vs boy.

MarryMeee:
I'm a swahili woman and yes i will agree East African women are generally blessed with beauty but i will say you are a disgrace you to your own tribe and nation. i have never come across a Tanzanian guy from any tribe that looks down on his own just like you do. Such self-hate is shocking.

You might see it as something thats cool, but i will be honest with you to the rest of the world it just makes you look shallow-minded. You might have had a fair share of bad experiences with Nigerian women, but that doesn't make you in anyway look intelligent to insult them considering you have a Nigerian mother, sisters and probably Nigerian daughters too.

when Nigerian girls are raised with such self-hating men you shouldn't be surprised when turn up to be who they are right now?

wow, so was my maternal grandmother

Hahaha all that matters is that he makes me happy, nationality doesnt matter.

Hameno hako vanhu vepano vanotuka. Une lucky vakasauya pano vachiita unhu wavo

nembudziya:
saka wakawanikwa nemuNigerian?

lol aiwa ndine shamwari. Ko iwe?

DONSMITH123:
Tragedy struck in a Zimbabwean village after a pastor, Shamiso Kanyama, died after he was allegedly buried alive on his instructions.

According to reports, Kanyama had asked his followers, five members of the same family, to bury him alive so that he could summon more cleansing powers to help cleanse their house of evil spirits.

As the story goes, the members of the family, charged with the murder of the prophet, invited the pastor to their home in the village of Mazonde to help cleanse their home, believed to be plagued by mysterious deaths.

The accused family members, identified as Leanmore Mutero, Tonderai Muswere, Michael Muchengeti, Manasa Mutero and Nicholas Mutero, according to Zed 24 News, the country’s local newspaper, were charged before the High Court in Harare for murder.
Owen Tagu, the High Court Justice, told Zed 24 News that he heard how on that day, their priest, Zvidzai Muchengeti had invited the late pastor to attend the home in the Muzarabani district, which is situated along the Mozambique-Zimbabwe border.

The five men had requested the pastor to help them cleanse their home of evil spirits, because it was causing mysterious deaths in their family and the cleansing ceremony had to be performed on that day because a memorial service for a departed family member had been slated to hold the following day.

Pastor Kanyama had reportedly asked his followers to bury him alive so that he could summon more cleansing powers to heal the family that had been plagued by mysterious deaths.

“In response to our request to perform a healing ceremony, Kanyama ordered us to dig a grave and bury him alive because that was the way he summoned more healing powers to ward off evil spirits,” they explained.

However, the plan boomeranged, as the pastor, instead of resurrecting as he planned, the men dug up the grave again to find him dead.

The state witness, Father Zvidzai, told the High Court that Kanyama helped to dig his own grave before praying and jumping inside, adding that after Kanyama laid face down in the grave, he ordered his followers to cover him with soil.

Zvidzai: “He secured a grave-shaped pit in front of my hut and asked for help to dig the pit. The deceased requested to be buried alive so that he would gain power to drive away the evil forces after resurrecting.”

One Joseph Taderera told court that as the men were in the process of filling the grave, he asked them to stop what they were doing as he was scared for the life of the prophet; though, they snubbed him when the prophet insisted they continued the process of burying him alive, stating that he would rise from the grave unharmed.

Taderera said: “I warned the men about the danger of their actions, still they disregarded me because the deceased kept telling me that I am disturbing his angels, and urged them to continue filling the grave, saying that he would later come out alive.”

http://dailypost.ng/2015/07/22/pastor-fails-to-rise-up-after-instructing-members-to-bury-him-alive/

so why did you use a picture of Prophet Magaya?

Madam can continue using her mouth to speak tongues while another woman willing to give him mouth action does.

People should stop acting like they are holier than thou. God created sex for married couples for a reason, it is not only for you to procreate but its for you to enjoy and bring you closer as lovers.

peedeeasobie:
With due respect Ma, ur analysis is one sided!

Whether the man is helping her brother to get a job or to become president is completely immaterial!

She is a married woman! Cooking for a man is an act of intimacy! Its a thing of pride for most men!
Taking groceries to him? As per what? The appreciation she should show is "thank you" period!

She was wrong in that!

Like the OP said, the both of them are immature!
They are both insincere to each other!

Cooking is an act of intimacy and taking off a wedding ring every time you have non-marital related issues is an act of what?

i will not shoot myself dead because you decided to read my comment with a biased mind. Thats on you. I already said she could have given a small grocery for someone to go cook for him instead just to show appreciation. You clearly shut your eyes and skipped that part.

Wherever you got the idea that a married woman has to isolate every opposite sex friend she has simply because she changed her surname simply amazes me. If you intend on being more successful you will always need more connections and this includes making both male and female friends.

Phboy1:
I am a 33 years unemployed graduate and i have a girlfriend of 32 years and we have been dating for 3 years now. She is putting pressure on me to marry her and i have just yielded to her pressure by putting the wedding for next month. I m really scared if love is enough to keep our marriage since both of us are unemployed at the moment and i m just managing a room accommodation. some months i earn upto 15k from sale of shoes while some months i dont get upto 3k as earning and this money can hardly sustain me as a bachelor let alone getting a wife. please i need your candid advise so that i dont make the mistake of my life.

You can still have a successful marriage without much money, all it takes is good planning and following through with your plan. I hope you be jointly taking care of the bills in the house though, because you look like you will need to do that.

If the shoe-business is always hot and cold you could consider extending to other things like food items, this is something everyone will always buy on a daily basis. Do make plans to expand especially when you will start having kids (if its part of the plan).

If she needs to be on pills or get a patch until you can afford to have children, you advice her to do so. Hopefully she will also be working or doing some form of business to help with the bills.

I said it on freelancer's thread that marriage is for matured people and i was told i have a low self esteem

Marriage is for better for worse, if cooking for for a guy who is helping your brother-in-law get a job will even make you consider parting ways with her it means you got married blindfolded.
The wife instead of cooking for the guy could have just taken groceries to help the guy and maybe have someone else cook for him just to show her appreciation. Sometimes your kindness can be seen for something else by others, always make sure you do things that will not cause your partner to mistrust you.

So the husband was the one having sex chats with his ex and his guilt got him worried that his wife could be doing the same. I had a feeling thats really what was going on. Turns out thats the case.

If you are fighting over the most stupid things on the planet that can be fixed you will not survive those that actually cannot be changed.

If the wife can visit the doctor and maybe see what kind of exercises, medication or surgeries she can do to get her tightness back that could help their sex life. Sex has a special way of binding 2 people closer than ever.

The husband needs to grow up and stop acting like he is 5yrs old, leave that for your 2 children. You are the head of the family, leadership comes with responsibilities not headaches. Learn to communicate effectively with your wife. If she does something you dont like or appreciate you set boundaries that you both adhere to to keep your marriage. You married her for a reason. She is your partner not your enemy.

wagazala:
Oh I see you still want to flog this issue. Your 12yr old jab was rather insulting but i'll let that pass.
Regarding OP, it's his choice really. We all have what we can tolerate and what we can't. I understand why you would feel right to defend his wife's actions but as for me, it's a no no. No married woman confides her marital issues with an ex, secondly a random guy from the streets.

I highly doubt that someone she has known for longer than her husband is a stranger.

He might not have been the best person to approach for advice but sometimes it may be better to get advice from outsiders. Family sometimes tend to keep grudgers as opposed to friends. There are certain things best shared with people that are not close to you. They will be able to give unbiased advice.

If you take every single quarrel you have to family they will get angry at your spouse, you will fix your problems with your spouse and move on while your family still hold on to the small issue you had.

It's not even about the wedding ring, wearing wedding ring doesn't guarantee anything for both parties.
This will be my last response to this issue. Peace.

it doesnt guarantee anything but it symbolises something. If it were of no significance at all i doubt anyone in the world would waste time buying them and putting them on.

If there was no significance he wouldnt have been bothered by her removing hers. The fact that he was bothered by it did mean something.

kunlejazz:
My dear Queen of Assumptions. I guess you're more experienced and mature than everyone else - another classic sign of low self esteem. Well, I'm gonna resist the temptation to put my life all out here in other to prove anything to you.

I don't have to married to know right from left. And with you as an example, being married has very little to do with maturity.

Contrary to what you assummed, i am neither an advocate of divorce nor separation.

Have a field day, Mrs Maturity

like i already said you speak with no experience.

wagazala:
Just like you said, any 12 year old comes online to spew trash. Your opinion is yours, same as mine is mine. You don't have to throw insults if you disagree.
Marriage is an institution that has no direct working formula, we can preach to the affected couple all we want but only them, regardless of whatever anyone says on this forum, can solve their problems. We don't even know for a fact if it's a real story.
So next time madam no courtesy, share your opinion, don't talk down on others if you disagree with theirs.

PS: Been married 10years and I've had my fair share of issues, and I know more will come. I don't put my ish out in public if I'm not ready for different opinions.

i did not in anyway insult anyone i simply gave my opnion on what you said. As a person who is "married for 10yrs" who knows more trials will come to his own marriage, the best advice you can come up with is advising someone to leave his own marriage while you work on your challenges you face?

Highly laughable.

favourmic:
Sorry I don't support that at all, no woman can take that for another woman to cook for her husband, unless if the woman is totally dating some one else..

a matured woman would, unless she wants to live in an imaginary marriage where things never go wrong and small issues are turned into a war. You think 10yrs from now the small issues you turn into a war will matter when you hit mid-life crisis? Parents getting more vulnerable or passing away and teenage children acting like they have no sense...if you cant handle someone cooking a meal you think you will be able to deal with mid-life crisis.

We have too many kids giving the silliest of things the most importance. So what will you do when really reach 50? Marry and divorce 10people by then?

Marriage is not like the cinderella stories that are read to nursery school kids. You go through things and only matured people stay closer to each other when things go downhill. A matured mind focuses on outliving the small storms that come their way, they dont call it quits because the clouds got a little darker.

You think your pride will matter when you have you children moving between 2houses frequently with one step-father and one-step mother because you decided to break a marriage over a woman that both parents wont even remember how she looked a fews years down the line?

kunlejazz:
No offense sis, but your views to this issue seem very much like that of someone with a fundamentally low self-esteem. This disposition is common among people (particularly women) who grew up experiencing a lot of fear, domination and subjection.

Forgive me if I sound harsh; that is not my intention. I'm only trying to help you see things as they are.

My point however is, your views to marriage (as presented in this discussion, at least) are inspired by necessity and fear - which you call the bigger picture.

Do you just want to remain in the picture or look really good in it?

Are you married? Do you know what commitment actually means?

You are telling me that 15yrs after separation or divorce i should be able to tell my daughter that i divorced her father because another cooked for him? you think after those years of more growing up to do it will not sound like the most immature reason for a marriage breakdown?

Im already married and i have a better understanding that marriage is not a fairytale but something to work on to get better as you grow old together.

What another inexperienced unmarried person has to say about the way i see my marriage really is not relevant, because at the end of the day the person has zero influence in my life none of my bills get paid by how you view me.

emmatok:
Unlike removing the wedding ring, which she failing to ask why.

Discussing your marriage with you Ex is not mistake but total betrayal.

So removing a wedding ring that symbolises your union is not total betrayal until your wife does the same abi?

Giving food to another man your husband don't like is not a mistake but a sign of cheating.

Will you be here defending the woman if you realize the other man she's feeding is you husband?

well im not immature enough to call every other thing trivial thing cheating. I have been married for 5yrs now and instead of running up and down my family's house or my in-laws house screaming all manner of childish things, i deal with my marital issues with the person i got married to because im mentally capable of fully understanding that small issues can fixed rather than making tornadoes out of a little wind.

It is easy to chat on NL, but it the real world thing are different.

if i ever find out that my husband had someone else cook for him all because i wanted my child to have American papers, i would talk to him about it and make sure next time i as a wife pay more attention to the needs of my family as a whole. If my mother and millions of women still manage to deliver safely in my own country, why wont i do the same for my children? I would rather have the support of my husband when i have my children as opposed to being in a foreign land alone.

I would never turn another woman cooking for my husband into world war 3 because its simply childish. I get angry over it for that little time, calm down and reason rationally, we discuss it and move forward because my marriage and children are far much more important than a meal cooked by another woman. Why will i fight a grown man to the extent of divorce or separation over a meal he probably sh*tted an hour after eating?

Marriage is not for children who fail to see the bigger picture. Why else will you say for better for worse if you are not able to handle to ups and downs any marriage goes through? Here we are not even talking of mid-life crisis or illness but a meal and how a number was saved, can we get any more immature?

emmatok:
In marriage if you use your partner wrong actions to justify your reactions, both of you Will regret that marriage.

Do me, I do you, don't help marriage. Because everybody makes mistakes.

if everybody makes mistakes why shouldnt the woman's mistakes be worked on?

bigfly:
Can u please read the title of the thread loud and clear, then read the op's complian and his wife's response.

i did not see anywhere where anyone slept with someone so how was there anyone who cheated?