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CHAPTER 3

I slowly got up and as i was saying, " i think I'm going to excu..."
He cut me off and said, " I'm joking, I'm not married!" Then he placed his hand on top of mine and asked me to sit down because he was enjoying my company.
His touch felt like an electric shock, but a good one. It sent shivers down my spine. I guess he felt it when i tensed up a little, he looked into my eyes and smiled. He had a victory smile on his face, as if he had achieved something. What was this man up to? Did he have an ulterior motive? Shani stop it with the psycho analyzing and overthinking! he is a good guy just making conversation i convinced myself.

It was an awkward moment for me, i had to excuse myself, i told me i was going to the bath room. I got up and went to the girls first before i made my way to the bathroom. Kesi, screamed on top of her voice right into my hear, " rafiki wangu! Who is that chubby bunny you are chatting up at the bar? Is he buying you drinks? Do u think you can ask him to buy me one, i only have cab money left!"
I could not believe this girl, she always does this, she goes out with nothing and expects other people to fill her up.
I didn't want to give Lance the wrong impression, i gave her enough to buy herself another cider, she grabbed the money from me and without a thank you, she rushed to the bar, right next to Lance and started yelling at the poor bartender to get her something to drink. I shook my head and proceeded to the bathroom. This girl might nit be my best friend but she definitely makes life interesting. There was a small queue when i got into the bathroom, as i was standing in the line a lot of crazy thoughts ran through my mind again, what if he drugs me? What if Kesi makes advances at him in my absence? Will she do anything for an extra bottle? Wait, would she really do that? I felt a little jealous at that thought.

I just wanted to forget about using the toilet and go back before that girl chats up my man. Hold up? Why i being possessive of someone who isn't my boyfriend? Im taking this too far, an hour has not yet passed and I'm already calling him my man. Well at least in my head i am.
My thoughts were disturbed by a call from Eric, he wanted to know why i didn't text or send pictures since i left the house. Oh crap, I'm already putting my man second. I told him that we were moving from one place to another, i was waiting for us to settle down before i sent him pictures. We took pictures of everything we did and sent it to each other. It made us feel like we were close. Well it gave us the illusion that we weren't that far apart and we weren't missing anything. As we were talking i heard female voices in the background, he told me that his housemate came in with friends and he had to go.
I thought it was a little strange, but i brushed it off and my mind went right back to Dr Lance. I had to leave the bathroom quick! When i got back i found Lance on the dance floor with Kesi. What on earth is wrong with this girl? When he saw me, he said something to her and she looked at me nodded then she waved at me. Are they really talking about me right in my face? I fixed a small smile on my face as i approached them, as i was about to pass and go back to my seat by the bar, he took my hand and pulled me close to dance with him. Kesi slowly moved away from him and she wicked at me as she left us to go join the other girls.
Anne had already found a guy to keep her company and she looked like she was flirting away. She had successfully got herself a VIP seat with the guy she was with. Tabia and Vanessa were busy dancing with guys when Kesi joined them.

Now back to Lance, he could not dance much but for a chubby guy he wasn't bad at all. He pulled me close and held my by the waist and said," you are quite a dancer, i don't know if i can keep up with you." I just laughed and replied, " you have no choice". I know the way he was holding me was inappropriate because i wasn't single, but it just felt so right. I felt comfortable being close to his little potbelly. I suggested that we go back to the bar i needed another drink, i didn't want the poor guy sweating like a pig on the dance floor. He offered to pay again, i couldn't refuse since i had offended him the first time. I had to be nice to him, before he thought i was arrogant. I wanted him to like me. Despite being a loyal girlfriend to Eric, i still wanted the dentist to like me.

We talked about my school and he talked about work. I felt like we had already become good friends, we were very comfortable with each other. After another 2 cocktails it was time to leave, the DJ was now playing the, "get the hell out of here music." It was time to go to the next club if the girls were still up for it, it was only 2:30am. I secretly hoped the Dentist would go with us. He walked with me to the other girls,he was holding my hand like my man. I asked the girls whats the plan and they insisted we go to club 84, because the night was still young. This is what happens when you party with wild girls, how is 2:30am too early to go home?
Lance insisted to take us there because he wasn't feeling tired either. We got into his Toyota Camry, it was a 2011 model i think. The last time i saw him he was driving an audi, but i don't know which one exactly. Im a girl I'm not supposed to know these things. Since it was the five of us and i was the biggest i sat in the front and the other girls sat at the back. We were off to the next club, the car was an automatic, so he held my hand every time his hand wasn't on the clutch. I didn't resist, it was actually kind of sweet, before Eric transferred to a school in South Africa he never did that with me, maybe its because his car was manual. But i still felt like it wasn't a good enough excuse. He could have been more romantic.


Before we even got inside 84 a drunk girl puked on Vanessa, i swear this tiny little thing, flew onto this girl and gave her a good beat down. Tabia and Kesi had to pull her off the little fiesty girl. Vanessa had to go ask the guards if she could use their bathroom to clean up. I guess this was the end of my night with Lance, he suggested that he dropped us home since it wasn't going to be nice to expect Vanessa to continue to party in that mood. When she came back we got back into the car and we drove the girls to their flat. When we got to my residence, he parked on the parking bay and he decided that we talk a little before he goes home, because he wasn't tired yet. I wasn't going to complain about that!

He held my hand while we talked and laughed, funny enough he never tried to kiss me or touch me inappropriately. He was a perfect gentleman. After an hour he decided to call it a night. He got out of the car and walked me to the entrance. This man really wanted me to fall in love, didn't he? I know for many girls this is nothing, but i had never had any guy do this for me. Most of the time they ran away from my mother. It felt good to be treated this special. He hugged me good night, he held me for a little longer than usual then he let me go.

I went up to my room and i realised i didn't get his number and neither did he collect mine. I was a little disappointed and confused. After all the physical contact and the great conversations, he didn't ask for my number? At that moment i wish i could go outside again to see if he was still there. But im positive he was gone because he started his car before i even got upstairs. Damn!

Calismart:
keep it coming

sure

CHAPTER 2

"She will have another drink of whatever she was having." Lance said as he took out money and gave it to the bartender. " you didn't have to, it not like i came here without any money, plus i wont want you to run out of beer money because of me" I said and laughed. He just smiled at me but he looked a bit hurt by my words. Man and their ego! He was probably thinking to himself, 'with what i make, how can this little girl insult me like this.' Omg i hope he won't see me as a user like Rhea was. Well Rhea and i were friends since the first year in Uni she had transferred from Tumaini University, i grew up in Moshi and i had told myself that once i was done with secondary education i going to move somewhere far away from home. I was not going to be another small-minded small town girl, live in your father's house and go to university close by until her husband came and took me out of that house. Besides i didn't want to wait for another small town man to come and get me from my father's house. I wanted to go to the big city i wanted to meet different people and experience the big life.

This is what i wanted to do! To meet different people from different cultures! That's exactly what i was doing chatting up an Igbo doctor. I heard a lot about these well-to-do Nigerian guys. They took care of their women. After all thats why he always took Rhea everywhere, he was quite a gentleman. But if you were to ask me, if he was another Swahili guy, we would have called him "mjinga", maga as they would say it in Nigeria. A swahili guy would not come and pick you up at almost midnight just to go drop you off at your house then go to his house, without wanting something in return. Well at least not a guy from my home town, other guys would mock him and accuse him of being put under a spell. But i guess i just have to learn not to judge a book by its cover, there are good man out there. Lance surprisingly was one of them.

For a moment i forgot about my beloved boyfriend and for like 2minutes i pictured myself dating Lance. Would i not be the lucky? a doctor, who lives close by and drove me around when i asked him too. Hahaha, don't see me as a gold digger, every person wants someone who "upgrades" them a little. Many guys would leave Moshi for Dar es Salaam, come back a wealthy guy to pick the most beautiful girl in town at that moment and make her his wife. These are average and "facially ungifted" guys, we would make money to attract the beautiful lady so she can look good next to him. Who was i not to want a man who would upgrade me too? I was a good looking girl even though i had gained a little too much weight over the festive season i was still very appealing. My mind raced back to Eric, i felt like i had mentally cheated on him for a moment. I had to snap out of it and told myself that i had a man who loved me and was good enough for me.

To be real with you, how does mentally cheating on someone constitute as real cheating? I know the bible says, " as a man thinks, so is he",but it was just a mere thought and it didn't last for more than 2minutes. Wait, I had cheated on my Eric for less than 2minutes!!! This is how it starts, the 2minutes will turn into an hour, then it becomes all you think of, until bam! You really start cheating! No Shani you are in a club, this is not the time to be pious, at least do it on sunday at church, it will only feel right then.
I had only dated one guy before Eric and i read too much thought into everything about relationships. I was not experienced. But i have my Mother to blame for it, she always kept all the boys away from me, guys were scared to ask me out because of her. Besides my little sister, the news reporter, always reported any guy she saw getting cosy with me. My mother would make sure that whichever that poor boy was, he would get a piece of her mind. I know my mother may sound a little psycho but she meant well. Too many girls in my town were getting too wise at a young age. My mum was making sure i kept myself for the right man, who is my husband. As old fashioned as it may sound, i also wanted my virginity to be the one gift i would give my husband so he can love me forever. I just hoped i would be patient enough to keep it for him too. It becomes very hard, when you have friends that tell u all these exciting things about sex.

I got back to reality when Lance asked me, " So i guess you are single, since you are out with your girls instead of being with you man on Valentine's day?" I was stunned and i almost choked on my cocktail. Did he sense that i was thinking of something inappropriate for someone in a relationship? There i go again, going overboard with my thoughts. He is just a dentist, he doesn't read minds Shani! I thought to myself! Maybe this is why i never dated much, i always thought of the most odd or the worst things about men.

"Hmm, well my girls wanted us to spend it together because tonight was going to be busy and fun." I said before he got a chance to ask me about my relationship status. There i go again with my mental cheating, if i was happy with Eric thats the first thing i should have said instead, then mention about the party animals i call friends after.

"So why are you out alone on Valentine's day, where is she?"
He stared at me for a moment and acted as if he was thinking of the best possible lie to tell.
"Well my pregnant wife, is at home and i felt i need a break from all the feet massaging and the toe nail painting" he said and smirked. He gulped his beer and looked at me again, anticipating for my reaction.
Hold up! Did i mentally cheat on my precious baby boo with a married man with a pregnant wife. Even worse, was Rhea friendly with a married man who came to pick her up while he left his wife at home? My mind raised off to the worst scenarios. Maybe thats why he never slept with her, he could not take her to his house. His wife was there.

At that moment i felt uncomfortable. I felt a little disgusted by myself, was i being too cosy with someone else's husband. Why can't these men be like my father and stay at home with their wives instead of coming to chat up university girls? I might have thought about dating him for like 2 seconds, but i was going to be the girl who fantasizes about being with another woman's man, husband for that matter. Thats a life partner! I don't want to be like other girls in my school, dating married men for free drinks and more pocket money. If you are from a small town and an average family where half you father's salary is literally spent on you school fees, you would do extra curricular activities to get a little more. But had to be have loose morals and no conscience to go through with it . I felt like excusing myself and rushing back to the dance floor with my girls. That is where i belonged, in the company of single people!

CHAPTER 1

To be honest with you i didn't feel like going out, i wanted to stay home in my PJs, eat popcorn and watch movies. Unfortunately i have promised Anne we would go out that night and paint the city yellow. I guess i just have to gather strength and get ready, besides it was 9pm.

It was another Valentine's day and my boyfriend of a month was hundreds of kilometers away, but we always communicated as if we were close to each other as ever. I truly loved him, i could not believe i fell in love so fast. We schooled in different countries we were too far apart to spend the special day together.

Enough about Eric and I. I had clubs to attend to that night, it was going to be my best friend and some of the girls she had always been friends with since high school. Vanessa, Tabia and Kesi i wasn't really close to them but we got along just fine. Since we were all SJU students, we were about to turn it up at Club la Aziz, Maisha and probably 84, thats what every other student did anyway.

I got into my leopard print leggings, black tank top and a waistcoat on top. I was good to go, since i wasn't keen on going out i put on light make-up and tied my hair in a lose bun. Anne was going to complain but i wasn't in the mood to argue with her, she guilt-tripped me into this anyway way. The girls came in with a cab to pick me up, i wont lie they all looked stunning but Kesi as usual looked pissed. I know why her mother gave her that name, she was born difficult!

We got to the club La Aziz and it was packed. The music was nice and university students where all over the dance floor. I guess tonight wasn't going to be too bad. Me and my ladies were about to turn it up. We believed you had to go to the best clubs to have the most fun. Not any of those under-budget house parties students had. The bought the cheapest alcohol and least food and they would expect for you to party with them from 6pm to 6am. They were always a flop before u even reach midnight. The alcohol will be gone and a few guys would have started senseless fights over girls. Funny enough we would ho to these clubs on a low budget, and expect to have the most fun. How ironic?

I have always been the holier than thou type in a way, i believed that guys whom you met at a night club were never to be trusted. See i still had dignity and morals in me. All you do is drink his money and never allow him to take you home alone. Always go with a cab or make sure your friends come along in case he attempts anything funny. Okay maybe i think too highly of myself, I'm not entirely a good girl. I must admit, the guys who were in the club tonight looked quite decent and agreeable. Wearing semi-formal with big ice buckets full of alcohol on their tables.

I left the girls on the dance floor and made my way to the bar, i got a margarita, i was looking around at all the good looking man around. Well too bad i was taken, all i could do was watch and appreciate from afar. I wondered to myself why all these people could possibly be single? Or where they all just like me, had an amazing partner who lived far apart from them. As i was deep in my thoughts i got a tap on my shoulder, i looked back and it was one of my friend's FWB, the benefits being him driving her around and picking her up from work where she worked as a waitress. Ha! Some of these men!

I greeted him politely and he gave me a friendly hug. Well, i didn't know we knew each other this well, but anyway i hugged him back. He sat next to me and we started chatting. " so i never thought you were a party girl since i last saw you at the church meeting the other time!" That's what he said and he genuinely sounded surprised. " All work no play makes Shani a dull girl" that was my response. We both laughed at that.

Where are my manners i haven't introduced myself, i'm Shani and I'm an accounting student at St John's University in Dodoma. Im a deeply rooted Swahili girl and i was a small town girl who recently moved to the big city for school. And i had just landed myself in an interesting conversation with a 30year old Dentist, not a good looking one but he was good company. Little did i know, this was the beginning of a friendship with Dr Lance, or more?

I have always wanted to write a tragic/ happy/ a little of everything love story and i guess this is a perfect opportunity