Lots of good advice already posted here

Try and get married to her legally before you go. You gotta protect yourself and your status there. Fiance is not the same as being married.

Try get admission into a school before leaving. They value their own Educational system more than ours for very obvious reasons. You have a decent job here with great career prospects. You need to give yourself a chance for same in America.

Lastly, don't full-around when you get there. If she finds out, you will surely regret it.

You are a young man and you have started your life well. You do not want to travel to America to become a liability to someone else. It may even be very frustrating for you if you don't get a job quickly and you have to depend on her for everything. You need to make sure you are engaged when you get there and in my view, getting a Masters degree is a good step.

bukatyne:
NashvilleTN

Happy new month!

How are you & family?

You just dey appear like ghost

My dear sister, na work o. I just dey travel up and down. Pilot sef no fly reach me!

oyb:


well, he who is down fears no fall. i guess for tbillz it was a case of if there is no more milk for me , i will kill the cow [the brand]

so tiwa strikes back and quickly, in a way that will ensure she controls public sympathy.

if public sympathy turns against her, those endorsements will die. she has taken full control of the narrative.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3669724_cheqqqywwaamut1_jpegbdc1108f54e6182856f516b8218f288d

looks like she has won the first round

Absolutely agree. This is a perfect summary.

Kimoni:
As much as she had her marriage Tbillz to protect, she also had her musical career on the line, and this was crumbling right before her eyes. If she hadn't told the public all she said, would her career still be redeemable by now? She admitted she made mistakes by going into the relationship in the first place, but what was she now supposed to do? Die in her mistakes? Give up her dreams because of one mistake?

She wasn't going to die with her mistakes for sure. She had already filed for divorce. She had filed for divorce before that maniac went on twitter or was it Instagram. How was she protecting tbillz. That interview was not protecting anything for sure, and firing him was not protecting him either. They are both players and I guess its time for both of them to move on.

Bolade005:

Bro, e no go even see her pant. I can bet it with you, now that TBillz is out of the way, she's going to marry way up. She's probably going to end up with someone in the league of Don Jazzy or son of a billionaire.

I can bet you she will soon start rolling with a billionaire's son or a billionaire himself. I predict Musa Danjuma, he's divorced Caroline. I am just looking at the previous posts and I can see that raumdueter did a terrific job of analyzing the story. To me, the interview gave Tiwa away. It was so obvious she was seeking public sympathy and she got it. Let's just wait for her next move.

raumdeuter:


If this were to be US Teebillz would be popping champas right now because he just hammered and he would be free to every carry more babes with Tiwa paying for it. Its the same thing that happens when we have celebrity divorce cases where the low life wife is cleaning the husband out and NL women would tell us thats the benefit of living in a civilized society

The brand Tiwa Savage was built together, We have women who meet a rich man and claim half of a rich guys wealth even though they werent there when he was building it but now a guy whom Tiwa herself admitted sourced his personal fund to launch her first video.

If the story had been a lady sacrificed her school fees to sponsor Olamide into limelight and later Olamide claims she is lazy, stealing his money etc Everyone would condemn the guy for dumping the person who lifted him up

It's always easy for women to play the victim card and that is why laws in the western world are protective of women. Tbillz is now suddenly lazy, but when he sold his car to pay for Tiwa's first video, he wasn't lazy and useless. I am sure Tbillz paid more than 1.5 million for that video. Now he gets fired for "stealing" 1.5million naira.

They are both players and this is all a game. Tbillz is a slowpoke for sure and he will be looking for another foolish rich girl to marry. Tiwa will soon start dating someone with more cash and swag and the game will continue.

oyb:



Except for one thing - fraud. Tbillz effectively defrauded his client.

That is grounds for termination and even prosecution. Interestingly, it's the story of multiple entertainers esp rappers. Their managers were ripping them off. Same even happened with beYonce and her dad.

Unfortunately for tbillz, he is an unsympathetic fellow , with his babymama baggage , his lousy Instagram persona (shittin on the haterz), and the silly suicide drama.

The fraud thing is merely an accusation. I am sure Tbillz will give you a very different account of the story. Couples argue over money, so it is nothing new and does not always end in divorce. Bottom line is that Tbillz did not help himself with his baggage and the way he broke the story on Instagram accusing his mother in law and cursing his father. What an idiot, even contemplating suicide.

But Tiwa was also very quick to retaliate with a lot of vengeance with that interview. And if this were in the Western world, Tiwa will most certainly pay for it. Just two years into the marriage, she is now a mega-star with alot of money and he is left with absolutely nothing. If the case was reversed and Tbillz was the mega-star and tiwa had nothing; we will all be asking for Tbillz head.

A40:

Loool the accuser is also a serial cheat so that kind of makes you question their accusation but let's assume they are both right. One stole from the other and the firing buttresses that. Abi why was he fired?

That is why Notorious B.I.G said blood and business don't mix like two deeks. If your spouse is the type that can steal from you and not even use the funds productively then I'm sorry for the sake of that business that spouse has to go

The more I think about it, the more I realise that may be we are beating Tbillz too much. The guy is a useless guy quite all right, but Tiwa isn't a saint either. Okay, so Tiwa fires Tbills as manager and he has no other source of income. What is he expected to do? Apply for a job at First Bank, MTN or Shell? I don't think he will get in anyway. Tiwa only funded his lifestyle because of her own image as well. She didn't want her husband driving a 1999 Honda Accord. Even if that is all he could afford, she would have willingly bought him the Benz because of her image. Let's get this straight, she bought him those things for herself so that she could continue to post pictures on Instagram and get all the likes.

But let's look at the story more closely. Tbillz and Tiwa built the rand "Tiwa Savage" together. They both contributed to what she is today. If this happened in the UK, he can sue Tiwa and get some money off her. He left everything he was doing to build the Tiwa Savage brand, got used to the lifestyle and now she just fired him and divorced him, and he now has nothing. I tell you, if this were abroad, he would have a strong case.

The only reason why we are all dissing Tbillz is because he is a guy. If the story were turned around and Tiwa was the guy and he just divroced his wife and manager who invested alot in him, we will view the case very differently. It's very easy for women to play the victim card in a divorce case.

raumdeuter:


In this case they are young couples, Guy like early 40's wife late 30's. They need the money and they also need the marriage. Of course the guy dey help himself to some of those South American girls. I dont know about the woman here though

But what is a sensible compromise here. Husband comes home and leaves his high profile job or the wife does the same

edwife:

Don't get it twisted, the woman helps herself too on the low. It takes a highly disciplined woman to keep herself.

So if both are playing away matches, then what is the point of the marriage. They are both deceiving each other that they have a marriage they do not really have. I am sure the woman will know her husband is playing away, but I guess her career is more important. The man will also suspect his wife too.

They have both chosen their career already so it is difficult to advice them. If is was me sha, one week in four months is too long to keep a marriage for such a long time.

salsera:


Really?
DrV ain't broke so what was it? Tbills had two kids in America and DrV has been based in Lagos for a few years now and
2face was gbenshing well its when he hit money that babies came and by the way his 2babymamas were not poor so it wasn't the money. Sumbo was bank big girl and pero was omo baba olowo

Ladies, you girls love guys with swag; even when they don't have money. Guys that can "play the game well" even when you know he is playing you. I have known Pero since Secondary School. I just cannot fathom how she will be a baby mama of 3 children for a guy like Tuface and even go to the extent of fighting Sumbo and beating her up in public. Pero comes from a very wealthy home. And yes, women sef love great sex as good as men. As they say, good guys come last with women and the bad guys win with women.

As for Tbillz, you have to understand that the swag is the only thing he has and that is what he's selling. I want to predict that Tbillz will get to date another big girl before this year runs out, and when he's done with her, she will start moaning on twitter again. Some Naija girls never learn - always looking for the guy that will break their heart.

raumdeuter:


Nashville, TV01, tearoses

Check this example, A wife has a thriving career in the financial industry based in London where the family stays, The husband say he is a Petroleum Engineer and there are no oil industry in London or anywhere close by, the closest place he can go is say Venezuela, Angola etc to get a job. and come home one week in 4months. Effectively seeing his family 4weeks a year.

Does he quit become a stay at home husband and be with his family or just stay in Angola send money and both live their separate lives (Definitely in most of these cases their would be infidelity)

What would you advise for this.
I know a couple with similar scenario, wife in Wall street, husband in South America for a 5yr project and would probably be the head of the whole South America side of their business after that

[size=5pt]I personally believe living together is the biggest thing in a marriage not even the ceremony and the certificate[/size]

My advice will always be "it depends on the case". Their age, number or children, financial commitment etc.

If they are newly married, then one person just has to sacrifice. It is that simple. No need trying to figure things out. You don't want to leave a young man alone with those hot latina girls in Brazil or Venezuela. My brother even if the husband is a Pastor sef, it is not advisable. Same thing goes for the woman. If they are still young and looking to raise a family, most times it's the wife that has to sacrifice; since she will be pregnant anyway.

Now if they are in their forties or fifties and have teenage children, then they can work it out. If they are paying private school fees for three kids, and supporting aging parents back home, then they need all the money they can get. May be they can make it work. After say 20 years of marriage, you can expect them to be more mature and behave themselves better. Even then, the situation is not ideal.

You bring up something that just happened yesterday. I was chilling with some friends and a few other boys that I didn't know too well. About six of us guys and only one brought his wife. Let's say the guy that brought his wife is Tunde. The wife looked very elegant, well spoken and intelligent. I drove one of my friends there (Bola) and as we were driving home, Bola was gossiping about Tunde's wife (i don't know Tunde that well). So he told me that Tunde had a spoiled wife. So I asked him what he means by a spoiled wife. Then Bola goes to say that Tunde's wife does not work. Tunde and wife have been married for about 11 years. Tunde has a great job; he is well paid and the job takes him around the world for extended periods. He once went to Italy for two years. Tunde's wife followed him with the kids and was doing nothing the whole time. Then they moved to Thailand and same thing. Then the US too. So Bola was saying Tunde's wife was lazy, she wasn't working and all she does is follow him around the world and spend his money.

I told Bola that, the woman looked classy and intelligent, so I asked if she was educated and Bola replied, Tunde's wife was a medical doctor but stopped practicing after she got married. Then I told Bola that may be she just sacrificed her medical career for her family; who knows. She didnt look lazy, may be it was her own sacrifice for her family. And I think Tunde and his wife looked good together. Much happier than my friend Bola who is having serious issues with his Bank manager wife. She works hard, but we don't know who the boss is at home.

Moral of my story is that sometimes people have to make sacrifices; but the sacrifice must be worth it. Life is not always about money. Money is not everything. I know many depressed rich people.

raumdeuter:

A40, If you have a business and your wife is the manager she is stealing from you, Would you fire her completely? If after you fire her and know she doesnt have any income then would you go to meet her to pay for electricity bills since she still had money to make her hair? Any man who does that surely is looking for a way to provoke the wife and possibly end the marriage.

Very good analogy. If I should add. Would you hire a stunningly beautiful woman to be your partner? If you do, I am sure she will change the story from stealing to something else. She will definitely say you are sleeping with the lady; just as Tbillz is accusing Tiwa today. Both were wrong.

A40:

Please when someone is stealing from you that is more than enough grounds to fire them. We are talking of a potential police case if not for their relationship. Alailojuti ni bobo yen jare. Let us not encourage iranu

If she so wished she could set him up with something completely different from the music industry. Get a lawyer or someone to police him. Its for his own good. He became depressed?

You dey drive Benz dey accumulate hotel bills and you are talking of depression. Ayo lo n kuku se. Oo n yo ni

Well, I already blamed Tbillz for his lifestyle so we are agreed on that. All I said is that they could have resolved it amicably without ending the business relationship. They are now husband and wife so they cannot see things solely from a business perspective. They could have worked things out on the business side. The marriage ended the day she fired him; they were just living on borrowed time. Trust was gone, jealousy stepped in. From then they became competitors as he now needed to prove a point to her. And of course, Don Jazzy will be a suspect as the new manager

I am not saying Tbillz is a good guy neither am I justifying his shameful behavior. If my wife and I were partners in business and she took money from me; I may not necessarily terminate the business relationship especially if she would have nothing else to do or if I remember she set me up.

TV01:

...for me it's fundamental to the nature of the union. I cannot consider a woman with that mindset - mine is ours and hers is hers - as fully invested in me and our union. In essence I wouldn't consider her a wife, or that a marriage. The key is to discerning that before and not after.

It would be great if a man could comfortably fund everything. But even if he can and the woman is earning a "mite", that mite should be pooled and go towards the betterment of the whole family. So I agree, "no boundaries"

If a man can do all of the above and more, and the situation changes, with the woman being the one who can, what has changed in a one-flesh union? Nothing really. Certain structural changes may be required but nothing fundamental has changed.

If a woman willingly enters a union with a man with whom she does or may potentially earn more, that does not change the dynamic in the least. She's a wife and he's a husband.

It's why I differentiate between the burger marriage and the chateaubriand union. If you know what goes into burgers, you won't chop


TV

Bro, you are talking about the ideal situation and I agree with you nothing has changed. But in the real world, a lot changes. Even if she were the wonderful wife; her surroundings will influence her. Her friends and family will start asking questions and putting ideas in her head. On the man's side, he may begin to read meanings to simple things - even his family may join him in that.

God made the man the head for a reason. When the equilibrium is completely inverted for an extended period; it brings alot of troubles. Each case may be different but the end results are similar.

To talk about Tiwa and Tbillz.

Both were wrong. For Tbillz to have blamed the whole world including his father shows he lacks maturity. How can a 40 year old man blame his father for his failures in life and then go to claim that his mother in law is using witchcraft to make Tiwa a star at his own expense. That is childish. The moment Tiwa fired him as manager, he should have seen the hand-writing on the wall and tried to take his future into his hands. Dude, it means you have no income, so you cannot continue to live the big-boi life. The moment he was fired, he should have tried to pick up his life and finances not continue rolling with guys like Banky W and P Square. The other accusations will always come - cocaine, cheating etc. I am sure his using cocaine wasn't the reason Tiwa divorced him; all of that was just to make him look like lucifer.

As for Tiwa, a man that will leave his wife and two kids will surely cheat on you at some point. I really don't have all the details of the story, but I still Tiwa was harsh to have fired him as her manager knowing fully well he had no other source of income. She said he was stealing from her; but I am not sure that is enough for you to just fire him like that. Once she fired him; she left him completely naked and he became depressed. I think they could have resolved the money issue internally without firing him. And I really don't think she was sleeping with Don-Jazzy and Dr. Sid; at least not after marriage.

Wow, happy workers day my people; great insights on this thread.

For me, I will say that one of the biggest attributes that defines a man is his ability to provide financially for his family. Once he cannot do that for an extended period, there will be problems. Don't get me wrong; marriage is not competition and a wife can earn more than her husband without any issues. But when the woman is the sole bread-winner and the man ain't earning much. I tell you; there is a 99% chance the marriage is doomed.

We can defend the woman or commiserate with the man all day long; but what makes that male a man is almost gone! He will have issues with himself and his wife will have issues with him. Even the kids will have issues with him.

This sugabelly case is interesting.

She is traumatized, scorned and feels used and dumped. She but feel terrible after all that happened. But let's take a critical look.

A young lady continually has consensual sex with the same person and even his friends and then wants to claim rape? She even acknowledged some of the guys involved were younger than her - so who was raping who?

And even after she turned 18 and 19 and 20, she still wanted to get back with the rapist? Statutory rape indeed.

Some people claiming statutory rape have mothers that gave birth at 18. Should their fathers also be charged for statutory rape?

Would sugabelly had dated a 25 year old son of a very poor man. Let's say some ragged guy toasted her, who she have fallen easily? I doubt it.

Bros,

Take it from me, marry a woman with great character. Such women are increasingly harder to find, so if you have found one. Please marry her. You already love her but you don't feel all excited about her. Even if you go for the one you think you love, that love will not keep you excited about her forever after. Her character will.

A woman with bad character is a no-no for me. Keep the one you have!

Unbelievable, I love Mourinho but I love Chelsea more!

I think it's time up for Jose. He has to go!

bukatyne:


All this you disappearing acts na wa o

I wish you all the very best in your new year. *e-hugs*

Same for me too

Sweetheart, na work o. God bless us with small promotion; so work has almost doubled. Meanwhile salary increase was minimal!

My people, thanks for the show or love with your wonderful wishes and messages.

Bukatyne my twin (lol), I can see you had a most wonderful day. May God continue to prosper you in all you do and give you even more wisdom. You will have looong life in good health and lot of $$$$$$. For me it was a mixture of work and still making time to celebrate. May God continue to bless all of us.

Gracias.

Good topic,

I think some men need to understand the difference between leadership and being the boss. In fact, leadership is not the same with being the boss. Leadership is about service and being able to give direction.

As the leader in the home, you do not have to make all the decisions, in fact, a good leader should delegate some stuff and focus on the bigger issues. A good leader is also about communication - effective communication skills are very key in marriage. Most of the time, the way people respond to a message is dependent on how the message if sent. How you speak to your wife goes along way in determining how she responds to you. Now I am not saying you should beg and cajole your wife all the time, what I am saying is speak to her as a fellow mature person and with dignity.

Now on the issue of wives respecting their Pastor more than their husband - I will say a wife should respect her Pastor but her husband is still the head of the home and not any Pastor. By respect, I want to assume you mean the wife listens more to the advice of her pastor than her husband's advice. Only a foolish wife will place her pastor above her husband. I don't blame husbands for that, I actually blame the gullible wives and some scammers in the name of Pastor. No Pastor should get in between a husband and wife - it is wrong. If your wife is more spiritual than you, it is not a sin, spiritually does not necessarily give you leadership skills. They are completely different.

And as a leader you need to be firm sometime. Sometimes you may even take an unpopular decision that your wife and even kids may not like; as long as you have a good reason for doing it and you explain to them.

And that's how bad guys roll. Just discuss marriage with a girl and she'll quickly open her legs! Then move on to the next girl!

Policewoman:
Just got this from a friend's fb wall. Hm..

What is your business OP?

Why is it that bad girls marry good guys and good girls marry bad guys?

Bros you don try. I don't usually prescribe ultimatums but may be needed in this case. Just tell her that the next time you see her chat with the guy, you wiill not take it lightly!

And if she does chat with him again, expose her cheating ways to her parents, call family meeting and you both should decide whether or not you want to remain married

Just because the US and UK lost out of the World Cup.

Fifa had always been corrupt and the US and UK were part of the corruption. But the fact that both were humbled in the World Cup bidding process is the cause of all these.

Hmmmn,

I can only wonder how she knew the man doesn't know how to f**ck at all. I guess she has experienced him.

I hope you know how to f**ck very well, if not, then you may have a problem.

Bottom line, your wife needs to explain who she was talking to and what she meant. She obviously is worried about what you heard that's why she wants to know what you heard.

May be her friend told her, that her boyfriend cannot f**ck at all, then in that case you have nothing to fear. But ..........

How baby mama take enter the equation?

The three are not in competition. The mother is his past, the wife his present, the child his future.

When I saw Chris Ngige as first name I was shocked. Ngige of all people. Then add Ogbonnaya Onu, Amaechi, Audu Ogbe and I was like WTF.

I could have written a better list.

But I am still a Buhari fan anyday. They will still perform better than Jonathan's men!

edwife:


I am used to them and i don't care.



Yeah look who we have here?

Been a while,trust you superb! Mou is just being naughty and mischievous as usual.My only beef with him is keeping Ivanovic ,
We will get it in no time,he is realising it now.We need new defenders,the centre back and full back is shit.

100% agreed. The team needed some changes that didn't happen over the summer. But I am still confident we can win the EPL. Man Utd can't win, and City and Arsenal haven't been too impressive, so we are still in it.

Just seven games into the season and Chelsea are just eight points off the current leaders. Not worried at all.

I just feel the man was trying to use her head Abeg. He don see you like that. If the lady had blocked his car and started shouting on top of her voice, I am sure he would have speedily resolved the issue.