₦airaland Forum

dasparrow:
@Post

I hate to break it to you but not everyone will or must marry. Marriage is a CHOICE. Some people do better with a spouse and some people do better on their own. Let me tell you why marriage isn't for everyone.

1. Some people don't like sex. Their dislike for sex might come as a result of suffering from a past traumatic experience such as rape or other forms of sexual abuse. Forget counseling. Once a person has been sexually abused especially in childhood, it affects them even in adulthood. Sex abuse survivors struggle to trust others with their bodies and genitals after experiencing sexual abuse. So what should such people do? Go and marry and stay miserable while their spouse traumatizes them further each time the spouse demands for sex? I don't know about you but that is a crappy way to live. Many people don't mind love, hugging and mild kissing but not everyone likes the idea of having to deal with genital secretions like sperm or vaginal fluids. Not everyone wants to have someone disturbing their genitals. Such people can still enjoy intimate relationships without the sex and the sexually transmitted diseases and sometimes unplanned pregnancies that come with marriage.

2. Not everyone can have sex, literally. I know you may not know this but there are some illnesses that make having sex impossible. When you get a chance google the following medical conditions:

A) Vestibulodynia
B) Vaginismus
C) Vulvodynia
D) Peyronie's disease

Let me just stop at the above 4 illnesses. So, patients suffering from any of the above illnesses and can't have sex should do what? Go and kill themselves? I know of someone who suffers from vaginismus. The lady's condition makes having sex excruciatingly painful and practically impossible. The lady, knowing her condition and lacking the necessary funds to seek specialist treatment in Europe or North America has decided to remain single. Has she committed a crime? I know the bloody Nigerian society will judge her for not being married not knowing her case is more complicated than they can ever imagine.

3. People with mental issues. So since you feel everyone should get married, I guess people who are mentally challenged or suffer from a mental disorder should also get married?

4. People with violent tendencies. So, people with violent tendencies should also get married so that they can beat their spouses to a pulp everyday and raise traumatized children? Do you know why domestic violence is so prevalent in the Nigerian society? Because Nigerians are only concerned about forcing every Tom, Donald, Harry and Jane to get married. Nigerians don't care about creating healthy and happy families because if they did, they won't go about expecting every soul to get married.

Let me tell you, there are many lonely married people out there. It is not advisable to expect your spouse to be your cure to loneliness. That is asking too much. If you stay productive by working, helping out by volunteering in your community, being an active member in any of your church's many departments, traveling worldwide and meeting new people, learning a new culture or language, gardening, writing books, taking care of the elderly etc, you can never be lonely. There is so much to do to keep a person busy.

I will never want to depend on just one person, a so-called spouse for sole companionship because human beings can disappoint you at any time. If the person decides to pack up and leave you today because you are too emotionally needy and clingy, what will you do then? It pays to be emotionally independent and stop depending on mere mortals for your happiness. This is why many Nigerian relationships feel like prison. Nigerians demand too much from their spouses!

As for the Nigerian society, screw them! Why should anyone sacrifice their own happiness all to please society? A society that cannot even boast of providing uninterrupted electricity, access to good affordable healthcare, world-class universities, first class infrastructure, decent affordable accommodation and basic amenities to its citizens? I will never bend backward to please any bloody Nigerian society because I have only one life to live.

And stop lying about Americans and Europeans discriminating against single people. I was born in western Europe, grew up there for a while, lived in USA for over 13 years. Never did I witness discrimination based on marital status from any westerner! The discrimination only came from nosy Nigerians who can't seem to mind their own business. The good news however is, when you live overseas, its very easy to avoid Nigerians like the plague that they are and live your life as you see fit. The average American and European under 50 can honestly care less if you are married or not. They are intelligent enough to know not to dictate to other people how they should live their lives.

At the end of the day, let those who wish to marry do so and those who don't want to should be allowed to live their lives as they see fit. Thank God, some of us do not have to live in Nigeria. If the pressure from bloody Nigerian family members become too much, cut them off! Just change your phone number and have your peace. Avoid Nigerians and their toxic meddlesome obnoxious character and live long abroad. Adopt children or have your own, marriage or no marriage. Who cares? After all, my own father who married my mother - the first wife - and 2 other women did nothing for his children. He left the entire parental and financial responsibility for his wives. Is that not selfish? Those of you who cannot even afford to take care of yourselves yet go and marry and bring innocent children you can hardly fend for into this wicked world, are you not selfish? Those of you who have children because you plan to become a burden on your children in old age, are you not selfish? Children should not be born so that they become your retirement package. This is why some people now abandon their aging parents in the village and flee abroad. Una think say una get sense!

Marry if you wish but no son of Adam or daughter of Eve can force anyone into doing anything they are not quite ready for. Let the worse happen!

Epic response.Two thumbs up!!

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Auto gurus in the house I am actually torn between the two.Which one should I go for considering engine performance,durability,speed etc.

proffc:

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God is great!

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Amla oil

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Wow!!!I love this.Very enlightening indeed.

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actoor:
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Not to misled people
Can you please educate us about the products? Because, some products are not mean for African hair.

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