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Well tht had happened since before I met my bf. Before I even knew he existed. Aand I reaally wished I could munch d chats but I just dnt want to cos there are people who knows him on here. I dnt knw if u get me

Doncolio: If he loves you! He will prove it till you know.
My advice on this new guy, tell him for now you still see him as a friend. If ur bf doesn't prove much, then consider finding love with this new guy. All the best.

Thanks for dropping by don. I like the advice of him proving his love...will do just that.

omega25red: poster

all what you wrote doesn't point to him wanting you back. "don't throw away all you laboured over" is not an apology and it's not "i'm sorry for everything that happened let's get back together" of course you can work out your fight but make sure you are satisfied with apologies and understand what went wrong so that it doesn't happen again

As for the other guy, don't marry someone you are not in love with even if you met the family and he has money.

Thanks. Am not marrying him now. Aand money or no money that doesn't buy my love.
When I was still dating my bf I asked him for noting. Am comfortable and not materialistic

alutacontinua: Is the bolded above ur definition of apology or he said something else that sounded like apology

Lol. I stoll need to thank you for helping me through this. He actually said he was sorry tht he wanted things to go back to normal.

For those who missed the first story
https://www.nairaland.com/1204577/save-relationship/2#14567724

To be brief and precise. I followed advices here, I ignored my bf for a while.
He had deleted me off bbm and I had done likewise to his families too who were my bbm contacts.
He later readded me to tell me tht I shouldn't get intouch wt his family and of cos I told him I won't. And after which I asked him to delete himself back cos I was bitter.
His response was he breaks up wt me not d me doing the dumping.
Well, I had stated it to him point blank that we weren't good together since he once said so and that he doesn't trust me. And his response was I shouldn't throw away all tht I had laboured. for the first time he's apologetic (dunno if its drama or him being real).

Now the ish is that, someone close to me who I know truly likes me who has been asking me out before I even knew my bf is still wooing me and its obvious he's not interested in games.am saying this cos he works, has his own enterprise and av Met his family since he's told them about me. Even his mum welcomed me to the family and she once asked how plans towards us getting married was going. But this is someone I see as a brother n friend not a lover.

Now am confused cos I only like this oda guy who kips being there for me as a friend nothing more. But then my bf wants me back.

Once again am seeking help. Thanks in anticipation.

Thnks @ angel am definately remembering this too.

alutacontinua: So far as u said u feel much better now, abeg, enjoy urself! U'll definitely meet someone that would love and respect you.

Awww I know and I sincerely know

chikeorji123: Base on this statement are saying u have calloff the courtship? ls that the purpose why brought it down here at N/L?.what exactly do u want in this relationship?..

I never called. Off the relationship never. But I just can't keep chasing shadows.
When I posted this topic yest, I did so I could get enlightments and I did. I dod cos I waanted to save the relationship.
I did so as to see if other peoples view would help.
What would u av expected me to do when I pinged, no response, called no response. Hang myself
Tried to talk things out but its obvious am d one who want ds rel.
Whenever there's issue with him, I het feverish and till he says its fine d fever keeps being there.
Yesterday has taught me to move on fine without any aftermath.
I hope u don't misquote me

Jenams: NL! Breakin people's relationship is so easy for u. And most of d ladies dat advised d OP to leave her guy suffer far worse than dis! @OP,I hope u get to date jesus or God himself since u need a 100% perfect man, wen ofcourse u n I knw u r far frm bn perfect! Hypo...

Thanks for popping by too. Yes I am so 101% not perfect.
But I would never take my imperfections to the extent of cheating on my boyfriend.
I go to school everyday, I see people, gurl, guys, I get advaances. One thing av ofyen had in mind is never to tolerate any form of direct or indirect affairs.
Take or you leave it.
And bros what's with the hypocrite word. You don't even know me one bit and aav suddenly turned to an hypo. How fast of u to judge me.
I forgive u sha.

angelsing: Can u answer just this question to clarify my doubt.. What kind of phone do u use that switch its self off anytime u are with your boyfriend?..BTW u have a lovely name NIFEMI(Love me)

Lol, its a bb os7 series. O won't say which one.
There's a screenshot in the oda page that showed the settings. Should in ccase u didn't see the s.s my fone has been customed by ME to switch off 10.15pm on weekdays and switch on 6.45am.

Then aaalso its scheduled to be on by 7am weekedthen switch of 11pm.
Thans for d ccompliment

Nice

Beync: MY dear, u deserve better. it's good u realize now so u stop waiting ur efforts on something that would not yield any good thin. A man who will love and cherish you will come and you'll smile at last. relationship that is not be based on love nd trust may not bring happiness at the end.

Thanks bunch
Trust is very vitaal in relationships.
I know there's someone out there someone for me.
Thanks, am even much relieved

baibijay@yahoo.:
kpele dear...
wish you luck somewhere else.

*hugs her* thank you

egbeman1: @Poster, based on my opinion; I think the dude is emotional, he's got the hrt to luv. But he doesn't trust u. Probably because of ur past or he feels any girl in school MUST hv a skl bf. The fact dat he tried logging into ur fb account and access wat denied worsen the situatn.
He jst need to....With time he will get to appreciate u. Sincerely, my immediate ex had same experience wit me,because I dated her immedtly after hrtbrk from a girl I luvd so much.
He will surely come bck. Just give him tym.

For crying out loud everyone is emotionaal, its the level that differs.
Its a battle I already lost even when am tryng to muster my strength.

I have no feeling of guilt whatsoever cos I stayed faithful while it lasted.
Tnx
Aat least I'd be glad to write n read for exams

Thaanks everyone. I really want to take time out to appreciate everyone, the passerby, the commentors, moderators. You all were wonderful. A big thank you!!!

Well I tried calling yesterday night and its obvious this relationship was already down the drains.
Maybe I saw it all coming and I was hoping for a miracle to change it. Lol so stoop!d

Its time to move on, I don't deserve what I went through one bit

As benyc stated, I waasnt thinkn wt my head but with my heart. But who would have thought.

Yes maybe he. Had someone else or maybe not.

Thanks to everyone once again. And sorry for taking ur wonderful time.

fluid26: Desist from calling his mum for whatever reason. You're not married to him and shouldn't form such affiliations yet. It's not healthy. Also, never give out your password to anyone, that's why it's called a 'password'. Let him deal with his insecurity some other way.

Do not give your love to someone who doesn't want it. Ok? Focus your energy and enthusiasm elsewhere.

Thanks, I just notified the mum so that when the whole shit drops no one will heap those blames on me or paint me black for whatever reason.
Thanks again

IZUKWU: free this guy, relationship is not by force. Don't be seem to be after him , it should be the other way round, this guy could have other girls apart from you and is trying to prune. Free him , make yourself scarse but don't be rude. You are in your finals , please you need to keep your focus and undivided attention on your studies and pick something employable from there. You are not married yet to this guy . Don't allow his affect your class of first degree. Because you will regret.

Thanks my education is in check tho , my gp is goodstanding 2:1 and academically am good.

kross_01: @OP; in as much as ur story is one sided but i myt be able to deduce some things from it. Just maybe owing to the fact that he was once badly hurt in d past myt explain he's lack of trust & insecurity which he's being exhibiting towards u & truly, u have not being helpng issues. Ur puttng off ur fone makes him gt on his toes d more & arouses more suspicion from him as he'll see dt as an act of some1 tryng desperately to kip some thngs secret. As for the two of u, u may have to act more transparently if U guys r 2 wrk if nt, u myt as well take a bow nw cos frm d way i c it, d bulk of d sacrifice is left on u, he myt come arnd but it will take tym so if u dnt hve sch tym, beta u move on now.

Thanks I appreciaate ur contribution. Well this night determines my stand and I will be back to update

MRbrownJAY: ^^^^ how can you say that you accepted the guy for who he was, yet COMPLAIN about the stuff that you supposedly accepted?! lol! abeg make some sense in your posts. if you love someone, then take them as they are, and love them, basta!!!!! dont come up with IFs, BUTs or MAYBEs. now you thought (like most women) that you could change a man, and it backfired on you. oh well

Sorry av never tried. To change him and I want to assume you didn't understand or see my "complained forehand" before accepting who he was. Pls I don't want to repeat myself and thanks.

MRbrownJAY: bwaaaah! women and their one sided way of looking at life......see as the OP first started her story by numerating the stuff that this guy is doing that is "so wrong to her"...... no dp photo bla bla bla. i was expecting to read that she dumped him, but the catch was that the guy got fed up of her complaints and probably bounced out of the r/ship. now she is here asking us where is the love bla bla bla. lol!


@OP
if you had any clues about what love was (to begin with), then you would have accepted this man for who he was, and enjoy love life with him, instead of nagging till he ran away from you.
as for why your family never met him.........

here is MBJ's advice: a man doesnt want you, you move on with your life!

Sorry I complained forehand and that ended there. I stated it in my post that I guessed it waas all because he was hurt in his previous relationship.

I call him on basis since he wasn't and I try saying hello when I can.
And I accepted him for what he was but accusing me of seeing other men is aa no go area.
I hope u get my drift

starlight®®:
Too much of sex or lack of sex is involved here....i ve a feeling you cut out the bad part in your story anyways I think the guy has lost interest in the relationship..... take some timeout to breathe

Lol thanks too

baibijay@yahoo.:
dear it the right thing, you guys should talk about it. and work things out
i feel you have put alot of your feeling into this relationship and if it end you will feel vry bad.
all i can say is you try and be strong. hope for the best from you talk with him but still expect the worst...
wish you luck

Thanks a lot. Am waiting for him to be free when I talk to him.

I wish you aall the best too aand thanks to everyone who has contributed so far so good

alutacontinua: well, this is a one-sided story and I don't like one-sided stories. But i promised to dish out my advice and here it goes:

Besides, why is your phone always off when you are with him? You can earn trust in your relationship, but you have to earn it, guyz don't just trust anyhow, especially our niger girls!

??

Sister, I appreciate the effort. My fone is always off when am with him cos I dnt often use it while with him so it goes off.
Its just like the same with my books, I dnt read dem when with him, they might be in my bag but I dnt use them. It doesn't mean I dnt read dem when not with him.
I just believe in giving him the respect, why should I read or ping when am with him

luvmijeje: Op when u love some1 then you respect that person.As babe to babe,if ur hand is truely clean ur phone is not suppose to be switch off.Your guy has a reason to be suspicious of u.
If u really love him,clean up ur act,as u can see,he is not a fool.

You are a lady like me. Am not expecting you to bacck me up on this but its custom for my fone to switcch off at exact set times except if its in use.
And he has often known that even when we chat he would ask me to leave my fone on when we just started initially. Once I slept off the fone autimatically goes off at its time and then he caalls next morning to say I had switcched off

alutacontinua: Compare this ^ statement with ur signature and tell me if u were actually the one that typed both. After then, i can dish out my advice.

Yes I was

overdrive: Is he the last man standing u shld learn to appreciate and value u self before any man can take u serious.I advice u mourn him for some time then move on wt ur life no man (who doesn't value u)is worth having sleepless nights over.

Thanks am Grateful

KateSpade: He doesn't trust you, asks for your passwords so he can spy on u and insults you. This doesnt sound like joy.

Maybe but I just gave him the password today. At least to prove I avnt been into aanything shady.
He tried logging in and acccess was denied and I told him to use the boxx below which stated log in with facebook to ur yahoo.
He jusst ended up saying I didn't want him to avv the access cos of things I know he would find.

Sniffa: If he doesnt love u anymore y dont u go?afterall is he the only man on earth and i think all he is saying is not mere accusation cos he cant tell u switch off ur phone when it always on and flirt with his friends when u dont,it might be de way u play with them or maybe he was just using u.

His friends that I know are on the other end with him where he is and we don't even talk let alone I flirt with them.
And true he's not the only one on earth but its not just easy. If he let's go off the relaationship I don't have to tie him down. Lovve is to be recciprocated not forced.

Le Ostrich: nah by force to date the guy?

Nope, not by force. I dnt praay for u to be in my shoe where one partner truly loves and the other doesn't. See it

baibijay@yahoo.:
from my opinion, he isnt in love with you...
advice: if you have to go with what his mum said, then you will kip tryin to make things work, hu knows one day he mit love you bac as much.

but if it ma problem, i would have left long before now, right from when he started givin all the attitude of not calling and so on..
knowing his parent doesnt mean he would love you, xo be wise, marriage isnt for 5years, its for - everrrr......

Av tried asking him if he's willing to make this relationship work and he's like he would ccall when he gets back home that he can't talk now.

Davico: At OP i know how u feel BUT There is no smoke without fire, u are not telling us the whole truth. This guy can not come up with this aligations without evidence so pls tell us the whole truth so that we can help u.tnx

Thanks.
Well that's the truth. He says his friends do see me who I don't know of.
S don't jettison the fact that am in higher institution and in my final year. I have male friends but that doesn't mean that I have aan affair with them.

Am not so regular on this forum but am trusting you all for help.
Have got a bf who I really love and cherish so much I can prove the depth of my love for him.

When I started dating my bf here were thing I noticed in him:
He hardly calls, msgs, he doesn't use my pic as his dp, he doesn't really show it by his pms. He just saved my name on his fone, notn special attached to it. And my thoughts were maybe he was finding it difficult to be with me cos he was hurt in his previous relationship.
And yes have been hurt previously too

I complained but then his excuses were:
He's often busy, he doesn't like calling that much...etc

When I started dating him, his family knew me. So it wasn't an hidden thing.
My bf doesn't trust me one bit, he often accuses me of seeing someone else and all that.
Truth be told, I get advances but av often stated it to whoeva cares to listen that am hooked already. Though none of my family has ever met him but they know him cos I tell them about him.
I call him when I can, I try my best messaging.

Now the shocker came, my bf is tired of me.
His reasons are, am fake(I dnt knw why), am not being real, I flirt with boiz a lot, whenever am with him my fone is switched off.

He's not new to finding my fone switched off even when we were not together. He's asked for my yahoomail Id and pswd and I gave it to him but its not loggn me in. He thinks am lying and all of that and I told him to use fb to log into my yahoo there he can check mail msgs n others.

I called his mum when all these drama happened today to inform Her of his actions and she asked me to keep in touch with him, stay and kip lovn him regardless.

Right now am losing my mind, as I type am sick and don't know if I'd survive this.
He's someone who has brought joy to my life.
Pls someone, anyone shd help.
Pls limit the insults cos I know it happens. And am not young enough to be in a relationship for those who will come n comment that am a kid. This is not a kid relationship pls be informed.
Thanks in anticipation