₦airaland Forum

ibechris:
U started this problem...now is the time to try defend her even if it means to impregnate her to seal the deal fast,do it now!

Thank you ibechris. I appreciate your advice, but I'll prefer a less malicious solution...

cayorday89:
There is no point condemning the op, I would have acted same way you typed up there, but this is someone who has chosen to tow that path and he is been hurt in the process and going to lose the woman of his dream. @OP, this is a lesson to you, there is a reason there is non disclosure rule concerning health matters, she was right to tell you as an intending lover, but not you ever telling your parents.

Thank you. Lesson learnt.

cayorday89:
JAZZED? on top HIV? Only OP knows what made him fell in love with her despite her health status and being unable to backoff, but to conclude he was jazzed is outrighlty ridiculous.

Thank you. I wanted to reply him, but I decided against it. This is one of the most decent ladies you can ever meet, but I won't explain how her condition came about for anonymity

cayorday89:
Aunty Ishi already spoke my mind, it's not a battle you can win...

Unfortunately for me... Thanks for your time...

cayorday89:
You should not have made it known to them, even you as a parent will most likely act same way... Na to do strong head take the decision ooo, after all, it's you that will live with her and not them.

Would have toed this line, but this is going to be very difficult for me if I don't get 100% backing from them, as I'm an only child.

Ishilove:
Wisdom is profitable. You should have known that HIV+ people are still being stigmatized in a conservative country like Nigeria, and even though it is intention to marry her, you should have waited till you are actually married before revealing her status. That is even if it is necessary. I don't see the point in revealing it since carriers can live a normal life.

However it is too late and I don't see you winning this battle.

You're right. I Overrated my ability to convince them.

Ishilove:
Why did you reveal her status??!

I felt like we're going to get married and it was bound to come up eventually, so I felt I should let them just know upfront

Ardar:
You shouldn't have told your parents. Sadly we as a society are not ready to end this senseless stigmatization.

You f up, you shouldn't have told them. Kai

Sadly. That was my mistake. What can I do

immortalcrown:
Na you mess up. You have two options now. Disobey them or obey them. Each of these options has benefits and pains. One thing you cannot achieve is to convince them.

My fears exactly

Tickles001:
I perfectly understood what you meant by 'manage'.
What made you think you want someone who's health needs managing at this stage of your life?

Well, that's hiv aside, she's my dream woman 100%. The only tradeoff I saw was her having to take a pill daily... Didn't seem to me like I was putting up with too much, I'm not even the one taking the pills..

Tickles001:
Why would you want something to manage without benefit.

I'm not sure I understand you fully, but by 'manage' I meant that the hiv can be controlled with drugs and it would not affect our lives

immortalcrown:
Hmmm!

First of all, why did you reveal her status to your parents?

I felt like they were going to know eventually, So why not get it out of the way. I also thought I could make them see that it can be managed

Apologies for the long post and grammar errors

Hello people, please help and advise me. I wasn't sure whether to post this in family or romance. Also, I created this account just to ask this question..

I've been dating this girl for over 2 years now. We were friends before we started dating, and I was aware of her hiv status. By the time I discovered that feelings were coming in, I made extensive research (online), and I figured that hiv+ people can still lead a lot of full healthy life, but so I went ahead and made it official.

I thought I was going to be able to convince my parents that it's not going to be that much of an issue, but apparently now, Im wrong. Now, my parents are on my neck to end things with her.

I told my parents about her status mid to late last year. They were a bit freaked out, but tried to explain that I wasn't at risk, and future children are not at risk too. I thought they understood even tho they expressed their reservations. This is majorly because they know someone that died from it.

Now, some days ago she got back from nysc camp after redeployment to the state my parents stay (the plan was for her to stay there for for the rest of her service year) (also I'm also rounding up my service year in another state)

After she got back from camp, she fell sick. I feel like it's malaria combined with the stress of camp and traveling very long distance. She had to be taken to the hospital for drugs and injections.

The strange thing is, now, my parents too also fell slightly ill within this time frame, so I'm guessing it's a combination of weather and stress for everyone. However, my parents are singling out my girlfriend's sickness as a result of weak immune system because of the hiv. This is someone that rarely gets sick before.
She uses her arvs daily, and viral load is undetectable.

Now, my parents want me to and things with her. I got a call from my mum (when she went to the hospital for her own treatment) asking me to end things with her and look for someone else. She's playing the 'you know we are your parents, do you want our blood pressure to rise, and we die early?' card on me now.

I don't know how to convince them now. My relationship is currently going smoothly, the only hitch is this hiv thing. Me and my girlfriend have made lots of plans for our future, and we are very much in love. I've been fight2 and defending her for over a year to my parents, but now, it seems I'm losing it, and they are putting their feet down.

Dear Nairalanders, what can I do? Can I convince them? My parents and my girlfriend are now on opposite sides, and it seems like I will be forced to pick a side eventually.

Help me

P. S. I am an only child