₦airaland Forum

Melvin is. Is so humble,calm.he rili deserves this after having finished 2nd in gulder ultimate search and mr nig.for once dis guy deserves to wear d crown. Let's us collectively vote melvin oduah.

How is this funny?

Just wasting my saturday watching the housemates party!from their dancing,esp d guys,I cud detect dat some of dem are so plastic,aimless and ehhhh!complete it.abeg!

Opey4luv: What the heck is this.

Last Bullet: This mama is ageing and the sooner she realise that, the better.

everyones growing olderly.you pray everyday to God for advancesion in age,I meAn.so when you talk bad on stehphanie,you talk bad on me.

Nairalanders! U guys amaze me,tot u should have known dat dat classy lady in green is our very own agbani derago. Her poise is world class.

A mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl as a roommate. During his meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there's more between him and his roommate.

Reading his mom's thought, his son volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates."

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose your mother took it,do you?

He said, "Well I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure!"

He sat down and wrote,

Dear mom,

After your visit me, the silver plate has been missing.

I'm not saying that you did take the silver plate from my house, and I'm not saying that you didn't take it, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
Your son.

Several days later, he received an email from his mother which read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you do sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you don't sleep with her: but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow.

Love,
Mom

GIRLFRIEND GIVING HOUSE DIRECTIONS TO HER BOYFRIEND

"Come to the front gate of my apartment where u dropped me,
Look for flat 9A
U'll find a lift on ur right
Then hit 9 with ur ELBOW.......
And get out of the lift u'll find my flat on the left
Hit the doorbell with ur ELBOW & I'll get to open the door for u"
BOYFRIEND: dear that seems easy but why am i hitting buttons with my ELBOWS only
GIRLFRIEND: "OMG!!! Are u coming empty handed
BOYFRIEND: (speechless)

Who is a DUMBEST?
1. The man who waves a newscaster while watching tv news.
2. A nurse who wakes up a sleeping patient to give him sleeping pills because
she forgot to give him the medicine.
3. A man who goes to a bank with a spanner to open an account.
4. A man who puts a radio in a freezer to listen to cool music.
5. A man who lowers the volume of his tv because he wants to read a text message.
6. A man who puts perfume on his body to snap a picture….

Akpos died and went to Heaven. As he stood in frontof
the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind
him.
He asked, 'Why all the clocks?'
St. Peter answered, Those are Lie-
Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie- Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.
Oh, said akpos. 'Whose clock is that?'
'That's Mother Teresas', replied
St.Peter. 'The hands have never
moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'
'Incredible', said akpos. 'Andwhose clock is that one? St. Peter responded, 'That's AbrahamLincoln's clock.
The hands have moved Twice, telling us that Abraham
told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's our politician's clock?' asked akpos.
St Peter replied, they are in the office.
We're using them as ceiling fans, because they keep running even faster than the others...
38 minutes ago

I met dis man on my birthday last year dec,in church in benin city.I was so happy to have met him cos I remember him from a horror movie of early 90's titled journey to the land of the dead.it truly hurts to have lost this amiable and jolly good fellow.I even still hav d pix I snapped with him.farewell dear.may God accept your soul.Amen

From a male 'INFORMATION NIGERIA' reader:

My younger sister has been living with me since I became independent and moved to Lagos to start a new life. That was eight years ago. I got married three years ago and my wife moved in with us and since then I have known no peace. They are constantly quarreling, making accusations, and have even exchanged blows a few times.
My wife packed out of the house in April with our two small children and said she would not return until my sister leaves the house. I can't send my sister packing because I am the only relative she has in Lagos and she just finished her university education and looking for a job. Asking her to leave means asking her to go back to Owerri where our parents stay and that's not what she wants at this time. I can't afford to get her her own place but I want my wife to return home. What do I do?

From a male 'INFORMATION NIGERIA' reader:

My younger sister has been living with me since I became independent and moved to Lagos to start a new life. That was eight years ago. I got married three years ago and my wife moved in with us and since then I have known no peace. They are constantly quarreling, making accusations, and have even exchanged blows a few times.
My wife packed out of the house in April with our two small children and said she would not return until my sister leaves the house. I can't send my sister packing because I am the only relative she has in Lagos and she just finished her university education and looking for a job. Asking her to leave means asking her to go back to Owerri where our parents stay and that's not what she wants at this time. I can't afford to get her her own place but I want my wife to return home. What do I do?

A mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl as a roommate. During his meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there's more between him and his roommate.

Reading his mom's thought, his son volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates."

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose your mother took it,do you?

He said, "Well I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure!"

He sat down and wrote,

Dear mom,

After your visit me, the silver plate has been missing.

I'm not saying that you did take the silver plate from my house, and I'm not saying that you didn't take it, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
Your son.

Several days later, he received an email from his mother which read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you do sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you don't sleep with her: but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow.

Love,
Mom

As a matter of fact,I was passing onitsha(upper iweka),precisely at7.16am. I saw a. Riot like suituation,soilders who were heavily armed were pursuing the area boys.it looked as though the areaboyS wanted to retailate,but I didn't stay long enough to watch.cos couriousity they say kills the cat.

Nollywood STAR HUNT is here again from the stables of ixora production ltd,if you think you can act,then partake in the forthcoming audition in UNIQUE GARDEN,WUSE,,ZONE5.on the 21st of april,2013.time 11am.call for further enquries.08037461010.its free