Hello Nairaland/Family


Here are some reason why You should Take your Extended Family serious than Your wife

- You grew up with them
- They always care 4u 
- They pray for you to become when u were nothing

Here are some reason why u should take your wife more serious than u Extended Family

- She is the One u Promise to love forever
- She gives Birth to your beloved children
- She takes care of your home when u goes out to hustle


WHO IS MORE IMPORTANT TO You


Nairalander/Family, let make this  a debate, please





Phemour

Hmm, If you take your extended family over your wife, you need not to get married.

if u take ur Wife more important than your Extended Family u need not to bear ur Family Name

Next

PHEMOUR:

if u take your Wife more important than your Extended Family u need not to bear your Family Name

Next

meaning??

if you decide to get married. u , your wife n kids becomes one family. so your wife comes first

Should there really be debate on this issue?
It is clear. Both parties fulfil different roles. The important thing is to ensure both parties know where the line is before they ever cross it. More importantly, let the your family know by your attitude that you now have a new family, which you are willing to go to any length to protect. That way, their expectations of your "undying loyalty" to them is lowered.

pspeak:

Should there really be debate on this issue?
It is clear. Both parties fulfil different roles. The important thing is to ensure both parties know where the line is before they ever cross it. More importantly, let the your family know by your attitude that you now have a new family, which you are willing to go to any length to protect. That way, their expectations of your "undying loyalty" to them is lowered.

well said

@Akinagirl, tope2000, pspeak

Remember he/she can go at any time

So the husband too can leave, does that mean the wife shouldnt fulfil her duties as a wife too
which includes leaving her own family too behind, her family that she also grew up with,
that always care 4 her, that pray for her to become when she was nothing just to be with her husband too

@tope2000
I don't get your point

Samething Here

pspeak:

@tope2000
I don't get your point

The poster just replied saying but the wife can go
So my point is what if the man goes too
I mean the woman too is leaving her own family too just like the guy is doing
At the of the day if either of them shuold leave each other they are both going to feel the same pain. The poster is saying it only from a male's point of view and im also saying from a female's point of view too.

PHEMOUR:

@Akinagirl, tope2000, pspeak

Remember he/she can go at any time

you just added SHE now, it wasnt there before my reply. so don't act as if you don't understand what i am saying

ok

Discusion continues

Wife, of course. All the members of my extended family have their own wives and husbands to take care of them, so why should they not leave me alone to focus on my wife?

Seun:

Wife, of course. All the members of my extended family have their own wives and husbands to take care of them, so why should they not leave me alone to focus on my wife?

Including your father and mother?
Dont forget they took care of u before u knw him/her

PHEMOUR:

Including your father and mother?
Dont forget they took care of u before u knw him/her

My father and mother have each other, they don't need to come between me and my wife.

Like I said, if you cannot put your wife first, you need not to get married. Your mother and father have eachother to look after PHEMOUR, so you need to look after yours. Bottom line.

A man shld put his wife first b/4 his extended family.
The wife is always after the progress of the family, while the extended family members are always looking for what they can get from you; and if possible, control your family to their favour.

I would definitely put my wife before any extended family!

I really dont dig too much involvement in extended families anyway, and apart from my immediate family, i can be bothered with the hassles!!!!!

Afribiz:

A man shld put his wife first b/4 his extended family.
The wife is always after the progress of the family, while the extended family members are always looking for what they can get from you; and if possible, control your family to their favour.

If he/she is poor, the probability of getting help frm him Extended Family is 80%

I really dont know what the poster is driving at. But like pspeak rightly noted a line should be drawn as they both fulfil different roles. I and my wife are one so automatically she comes first, but that doesnt mean i'll neglect my extended family.
This post is pointless anyways

well u were getting married, u knew that u were making a lifelong commitment and it is on u'll have to stick with for the rest of ur life

besides getting married is a choice u make as opposed to been born into a family

Wife definately, unless you are also married to your extended family, if that is the case, i dunno

@poster
this is a joke right, what about when you don't get along with your extended family, or when they are jealous of your success. i believe when God said a man shall leave his family and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one, he didn't include the extended family, so if you cannot put your wife first then abeg do not even bother to get married, cuz if you cannot trust the woman who promised to give up her life, body and everything, to make you happy and assist with your success in life then you are an idiot.

Marriage is simply contractual obligations to be in a partnership with a woman you think you can spend your life with.

This is a very debatable topic. It becomes a little bit ambiguous when it comes to your family, as that is not clearly defined, who is a priority over who. Hence I am going to use illustration to explain what I think in regards to this topic.

We are talking about this connecting family objects your father, your mother, your brothers and sisters and then your wife and kids right and each has its own place when it comes to different type of priorities and they fall under hierarchy.

Life and Death Situations
1. Your children
2. Your brothers and sisters
3. Your Parents
4. Your wife

The Life and Death Situations is assuming the link stand as an independent object, that is your children have no family, they are connected relatively directly to you, so is your brothers, sisters etc.

Decision Making and Responsibilities
1. Children
2. Wife
3. Your brothers and sisters
4. Your parents

This objects are that of which you take into consideration when making decisions and fulfilling due responsibilities.

ima1:

@poster
this is a joke right, what about when you don't get along with your extended family, or when they are jealous of your success. i believe when God said a man shall leave his family and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one, he didn't include the extended family, so if you cannot put your wife first then abeg do not even bother to get married, because if you cannot trust the woman who promised to give up her life, body and everything, to make you happy and assist with your success in life then you are an idiot.

Not everyone of ur extended family will jealous if some are.
ur extended family have been there for u too especialy mum and dad.

I guess it is a matter of choice (between wife and extended family). As for me i'll put my wife first (if i dont, then who will?)but not blindly or foolishly. for me it's gonna be
My parents
My Wife
Child(ren)
My siblings

My wife would ALWAYS come first.

No question.

Both r important but ur extended family is always a force to reckon with.

for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will cling to his wife.

you took a vow in church or wherever- "forsaking all others"-extended family included.

your wife should be first.

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)

Enough said.

ima1:

@poster
this is a joke right, what about when you don't get along with your extended family, or when they are jealous of your success. i believe when God said a man shall leave his family and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one, he didn't include the extended family, so if you cannot put your wife first then abeg do not even bother to get married, because if you cannot trust the woman who promised to give up her life, body and everything, to make you happy and assist with your success in life then you are an idiot.

the same applies when u don't get along with ur spouse, promises r made every day but r they always kept? Like i said b4, both r important but u must not neglect ur family!

IncaGold:

I guess it is a matter of choice (between wife and extended family). As for me i'll put my wife first (if i don't, then who will?)but not blindly or foolishly. for me it's going to be
My parents
My Wife
Child(ren)
My siblings

Interesting, Good arrangement here.  

Siena:

My wife would ALWAYS come first.

No question.

Remember your Mum and Dad is part of your Extended Family

haulder:

Both r important but your extended family is always a force to reckon with.

deept:

for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will cling to his wife.

you took a vow in church or wherever- "forsaking all others"-extended family included.

your wife should be first.

I disagree, no Pastor will vow wedding saying that