Would you allow your wife/partner to be the financial bread winner whilst you stay at home and be house husband ??
As a Nigerian man?

In other countries this is acceptable and of course i am fully aware that certain situations would lead to this but my question stands.

your views please Guys

The reality of it is the wife and husband are breadwinners.
Husband=breadwinner

Wife= breadwinner
Wife= housewive also (because hubby doesn't do a tap) (2 fulltime jobs)

condition can turn things over. from GOD. man the head, leader and the money maker. woman the helper, and co-owner of all . now, anyway from the above you are on your own. CLEAR?

cemesh
Clear on what?/ Dont understand your view its a general debate here not personal

leilah
i liked the response

I have as little desire to be a house husband as I have to be married to a housewife. I wouldnt even consider dating a woman with no ambition or career; nevermind marry. A man or woman needs to be rounded and fulfilled either before or during marriage. OR else both parties will end up growing distant and apart.

My wife should have her own life, and career. Whatever it is she chooses to do.

It is possible during the marriage there are reasons why either party should choose to leave formal paid employment. If that means as a husband, I am at home then I will do whaty I can to maintain the home. Who needs a wife coming home to ride you?!

cyclone5
hummmmm see im going to enjoy reading your response's whether i agree or not

ps have you read my topic on why do 90% of nairalanders hide their pic on the site

think it would be nice to see a face behind the 'comments'

You and this face thing of yours. I read through your topic bemused by the thought that you seemed to discount people's reasons for not posting a pic. I am happy to reveal myself to people I know but wont be changing my profile on NL.

If you wan see face na im be say you go go Facebook

Always happy to melt minds with ya

Leilah:

The reality of it is the wife and husband are breadwinners.
Husband=breadwinner

Wife= breadwinner
Wife= housewive also (because hubby doesn't do a tap) (2 fulltime jobs)

Thank you ma sister. There is nothing as disgusting as a "spouse" who stays at home and begs for money every week. Male or Female. Very disgusting.

cyclone5

easy on the pidgeon english dont quite understand it sorry

ps face book you dont need to post a picture to be on there

Also its your privilage to hide your pic your reasons well who knows as you are an active poster and one of the most out spoken you should put yr face where your mouth is

britgirlee:

cyclone5
easy on the pidgeon english don't quite understand it sorry
ps face book you don't need to post a picture to be on there
Also its your privilage to hide your pic your reasons well who knows as you are an active poster and one of the most out spoken you should put yr face where your mouth is

@britgirlee - I hear you but I just never quite saw NL as a place to be anything other than a contributer of ideas. That's unlikely to change. But its always a pleasure to exchange ideas.

cyclone,

nairaland is my understanding to post debates upto news in nigeria help questions and answers etc people have voices and what to express this be it in a negative or positive way as long as it does not lead to abuse physical hurt or other etc

my topic of debate was as above its choice you have made keep it that way,

its always nice to see the person you are talking every one will agree with this aleast it can easily change the tone of response (read down for the answer to this exchanged with siena##)
its not to laugh at abuse or make fun of the person or rate them in looks etc and this topic is not about that##
every one has a face no matter what culture colour or physical makeup you are and added to that is a voice,

Hmm, an easy one.

I've always been pretty independent, I don't need a woman to cook and clean for me!

It all depends on earning power. If my wife earned more than me, and she wanted to be the earner, and was happy for me to remain at home, then I'd have no issues whatsoever with that. It would be by mutual consent.

Right now, I work. If I get home before my lady, then I cook, and doo any cleaning that needs to be done, iron clothes and load washing machine. Contrary to popular belief, I don't feel it's the woman's place to do household chores! It all depends on who happens to be at home at the time.

@ Fox: Is your man a househusband?

siena
young free and single sweetheart,

see yr the new man of the milli intresting post, can hear the women on the site reading this and saying shd of got him first,

and the guys on the site saying, naah, he didnt

how are you

Its worth considering the role that society plays in how men and women interact and treat each other. There are tons of Naija women who wont countenance a man looking like he's about to wash and iron their undies. They just dont see that type of man as having the dynamism to make a fitting boyfriend, nevermind husband. And there are places where in the business world the husband who appears to defer to his wife aint getting far in his chosen vocation.

When you consider these things its difficult for a person to switch off readily, as you traverse the diferent worlds you inhabit. Some wives might get terribly suspicious if the guy starts sweeping and washing dishes. And like you have pointed out guys might get a little stressed if the woman decides she wants to take him out, watch the game and have a beer with the guys.

But choices do come into play here. The notion of a housewife was relevant in the days when infant mortality was so high families had to have a lot of children. Now its a choice whether you have more chioldren than you can comfortably cater for. Any woman who thinks that she can readily have more than 3 children, needs to know the means are there or she will be spending plenty of time at home.

The more each partner in a relationship develops themself and their interests the more of a say they will have in defining each other's roles.

@ Fox: I'm pretty good, thanks.

How's things with you? Did you find the answers you were looking for, with regards to British-born Nigerians?

sienna,
lazy day, this site is getting to me, well keeping me out of trouble, obviously i have my my values with regard to the topic and my veiws totally comfotable in my skin heritage and dual upbringing

still sit on the fence with regards to some of the comments but if you have read or have been reading my topic of debate based on the stong independent black woman (culture) , its an eyeopener even my friends have got in on the debate on line and on, hummm can of worms there

@ Siena

I like you so much.

Can we get in touch?

I think you are one of the most intelligent among the bunch of male idiots we have here.

*smack* smack*

Don't mind me oooo. I am just super happy today and feel like "externing" my feelings.

If you are willing to have a chat with me, just let me know!

@ Nihil-ce-M: No worries, chatting is fine.

Yaahhhhhhhhhhh!

Thank you!

sinena, and nilhil, hummm
nilhil he is an attached man sweetheart,

ps would be nice to post yr view on this topic,

britgirlee:

sinena, and nilhil, hummm
nilhil he is an attached man sweetheart,

Jealousy na bed thing!

ps would be nice to post yr view on this topic,

ohh sorry.

Well my opinion is very simple.

both parties have agree on it.

if that's the man's selfish need and not a plan made with the woman, then she would have all rights to spit fire on him whenever she gives him his "pay".

There is nothing worse than having a pain in the ass you have never planned of.

that's just my opinion.

On conclusion I'd say mutual accordance and communication are the keys to make this situation and every other to work.

@ Fox: She's just a friend. Way too young to be anything but.

Very intelligent though, a lot of older girls could do well to emulate her.

nilhil,

love yr post, though

siena, i cetainly hear you sweetheart

@ Fox: That's good then!

Busy?

britgirlee:

siena
young free and single sweetheart,

see yr the new man of the milli intresting post, can hear the women on the site reading this and saying should of got him first,

and the guys on the site saying, naah, he didnt

how are you

Nihil-ce-M:

@ Siena

I like you so much.

Can we get in touch?

I think you are one of the most intelligent among the bunch of male idiots we have here.

*smack* smack*

Don't mind me oooo. I am just super happy today and feel like "externing" my feelings.

If you are willing to have a chat with me, just let me know!

E DON HAPPEN!




See Nairaland girls know better thing.  You go girls---the bestest gentleman on Nairaland.  Siena Babeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

You are smoking hot as always--even on a religious Sunday afternoon.  You go charmer---

Na wah for you oh!  You "Waffi Smooth Operator"!!!!  I say Nairaland babes understand a good thing---not all those local country dudes running around here.  Keep the love alive please!  Please enjoy!!!!! Let those other bush wacker guys on Nairaland eat their hearts out.

Siena--you gat more fan mail than any other--please don't fail us---you are the only hope on Nairaland for the misdirected males roaming around here oh!

On a serious note, Siena--a guy like you can only command the utmost respect from ALL ladies.  No room for disrespect at all. Please start a school on Nairaland and teach your lost brothers please! Goodluck sha sha----------E go harrrooooooo!!!!

Back to topic. 

@Poster

This idea of a "stay at home" dad is foreign to the African culture.  Most guys who find themselves in that position usually regret it because it is not of their choice.  The are[b] forced [/b] to be in that situation. In foreign countries, it is usually a compromising decision between spouses, not because the man cannot work, but he chooses not to in the interest of the whole family--and mind you--can always go back to work whenever he wants to.

*******Most Nigerian men do not have that luxury of choice.

*******They resent the stay at home position and make life a living hell for everyone around them like it is anyone's fault but theirs--having refused to apply themselves productively in the relationship or marriage.  Like anyone forced them not to go to the "real wage earning" school instead of going for some "bullshit Masters or PH.D" programme only to graduate and come out to drive taxis.  Some of them return home over here after waiting in the sun for a whole day with less than $50 to show for it on a daily basis. 

Like we are in Nigeria where people are impressed with "big big grammar and schooling" with "Otumba godfathers" everywhere in politics to be money-laundering bankers or set up one cyber cafe or website.  Over here, a plumber makes big bucks owning his own business--But Nigerian dudes would rather spend 20 years in school reading some shit course with not money to show for it.  You hear things like MBA, PH.D., CPA, "Chattered Accountant" and all that rubbish you hear in Nigeria--like oyinbo man will give you a damn job coming from Nigeria with that "strong accent" after chopping all your school fees.  Rubbish!!! Not to talk of "our glorified status as 419 kingpins world wide".

Then after recording a life time monumental failure heaped on degrees upon degrees--you want to come into my house and kill your "enemy" with all your suffer-head frustrations?  No way I say.  You must go to a construction site and find "day labour" with your mexicans counterparts, who are dutifully feeding their families too.  Let me not catch your sorry butt at home.

*******Instead of working with their wives while "unemployed and babysitting", they decide to ruin everything for the family by causing the wives to be less productive and instigating fights on a daily basis--just to drag the women down to their unproductive levels in life.

*******Even when offered assistance and suggestions to improve-----Oh boy!  You want to "boss" them around.  What an insult on their "royal majestic hynnies"!  How dare you?--for you will never try such in Nigeria or you receive the beating of your life as the babaric "culture" dictates often.




My point is that while this[b] "siddon look"[/b] husband might work with westerners because they can understand it better and are usually more secure in themselves, have nothing to prove to anybody---The typical Nigerian male can "NEVER" adjust to that. 


So in the final analysis I will have to say "GOD FORBID" me to have a "Nigerian" house-husband-------for I will be setting myself up for some helluva show down.  The man has to work oh, or one person will have to die in that house.  I am not the kind you can tell shut up and I will be looking at you.  We will duke it out to finish.  So, to avoid any wahala--the man has to work and stay "EMPLOYED" for good---no breaks in between oh.  You cannot try that with most Nigerian dudes oh.  They will try to kill you and your kids out of some self-inflicted frustrations.

I SAY NO WAY HOSEA--GET A DAMN JOB, NO MATTER HOW LOW-PAYING. I need to get him out of my house as much as possible before his kolomental "Ogbanje" mess starts.  2 "Ogbanjes" cannot live under the same roof at the same time.  We usually take turns to be mad--but never at the same time.  Everyone gets a fair chance at playing the "demon" and that is healthy.

you say it almond joy,

love the thread very enlighting

its unfortunate some individuals have taken this posting and tried to twist it on my other thread on strong independent women

yep siena is a smoothy, a clever one,

he;s a northener thats what they calll him up here,

britgirlee:

you say it almond joy,
love the thread very enlighting
its unfortunate some individuals have taken this posting and tried to twist it on my other thread on strong independent women
yes siena is a smoothy, a clever one,
he;s a northener thats what they calll him up here,

Lol! Me a "Northerner"?

Fox, I was born and brought up in Muswell Hill, North London! Don't be fooled by my "current location". I'm a lot closer to you than you think!

_{Northerner, how dare you! Grrr!}

My husband would probably shrivel up and die if i as much as asked him to stay home while i go out to shoot our dinner every day. he's an alpha male and will not have it. I on the other hand am overworked , over strained and will be overjoyed to stay home for one year and mind the kiddo.

spoilt:

My husband would probably shrivel up and die if i as much as asked him to stay home while i go out to shoot our dinner every day. he's an alpha male and will not have it. I on the other hand am overworked , over strained and will be overjoyed to stay home for one year and mind the kiddo.

Hope yours sistas dont think you're betraying the sisterhood