Lion Tamer Wanted - animal jokes

A ringmaster runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up.

One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.

The ringmaster tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it.

This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history.

Here's your equipment -- chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage.

The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, then sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The ringmasters jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life."

He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?" The tough old golfer replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of there."

Lol. a tragic accident

1 - A little girl kicks a soccer ball. It goes 10 feet and comes back to her. How is this possible? (Ever heard of gravity? She kicked it up.)
2 - A 10 foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung on the surface of the water. The rungs are one foot apart, and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long will it be until three rungs are covered?(Never. The boat rises as the tide goes up.)
3 - A is the father of B. But B is not the son of A. How’s that possible? (B is the daughter you MCP’s!)
4 - A man dressed in all black is walking down a country lane. Suddenly, a large black car without any lights on comes round the corner and screeches to a halt. How did the car know he was there? (It was day time.)
5 - A rooster laid an egg on top of the barn roof. Which way did it roll? (It didn’t roll – since when did roosters start laying eggs?)
6 - A truck driver is going down a one way street the wrong way, and passes at least ten cops. Why is he not caught? (Because he was not driving! He’s walking on the sidewalk.)