₦airaland Forum

wadetaw202:
I think the matter is settled already. How?

When you reach home, take her out to an eatry or any private place where the two of you can be alone and relaxed.


Then tell her the story of how you kept a diary when you were her age and tell her about the naughty things you wrote in your diary.

Tell her you thought your parents didn't like you because of the way they disciplined you.

Tell the story in the most relaxed and off-handed manner possible; nothing rigid, nothing scary. I really hope you are a good story teller.

Purpose of your story is to let her know that you know how she feels, that you have been there before and to let her realize that the punishments and corrections she is receiving are for her own good.

I Dont know the level of friendship between the two of you presently, but I think you should make friends with her more.

Some peeps here adviced that you should let her be, but i think this is wrong. You and your parents have responsibility over her and you must not fail in this responsibility for the bogus fear of your sister leaving home.

Then I think your serving brother should be closer to her too. She may find it easy to play, talk and befriend your brother more than you.

Thanks alot, I would try this as well...I really hope it works

bennyrazz:
14yrs old girl? no surprises though. Boyfriend issue( Already blaming her bf for not giving her money mentality at an early age SMH) she hates parents because they correct her, wants to paint nail, paint face, wear skimpy dress, nothing new. How you all handle it is the major problem because the rate at which teenage girls are going about 30% of them might get pregnant before age 20. May God give you the grace to handle the issue @op

Amen...thanks for your prayer

martyns303:
There is everything wrong in painting her nails, wanted to take my lil sis out once, and she went and put lip gloss on, although there was nothing wrong with it, but I had her clean it up nicely " Lolo (her nickname) do u think the lip gloss is necessary?" she got the message that I don't approve of it and she wiped it off. It's all about how u relate with them.

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Thanks dear...I will try use your approach. I need to get my sister very close to me.

Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas