₦airaland Forum

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Dating tips to help you find love #1: Keep things in perspective

Don’t make your search for a relationship the center of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced and make you a more interesting person when you do meet someone special.
Remember that first impressions aren't always reliable. Especially when it comes to Internet dating, people don’t always accurately portray themselves. Regardless of where or how you meet someone, though, it always takes time to really get to know that person. You have to experience being with someone in a variety of situations, some good and some not so good, before you really know him or her. For example, how well does this person hold up under pressure when things don't go well or when they're tired, frustrated, or hungry?
Be honest about your own flaws and shortcomings. Everyone has a flaw—or several—and, for a relationship to last, you want someone to love you for the person you are, not the person you’d like to be, or the person he or she thinks you have the potential to become. In many cases, what you consider a flaw may actually be something another person finds quirky and appealing. By being honest and shedding all pretense you’ll encourage the other person to do the same, which can lead to a fulfilling relationship.
Invest in a vertical relationship before you invest in a horizontal relationship. Don't be too quick to make a relationship sexual as it often becomes harder to develop a good vertical relationship afterwards. Even though it can be difficult in this day and age, try to take your time to get to know someone first. It will only lead to a more satisfying sexual relationship down the road.

Dating tips to help you find love #2: Put a priority on having fun

Online dating, singles events, and matchmaking services like speed dating may prove successful and enjoyable for some people, but for many they lack any kind of spontaneity and often feel more like high-pressure job interviews than fun social occasions. And whatever dating experts might tell you, there is a big difference between finding the right career and finding lasting love.

Think of your time as a single person as a great opportunity to meet new people, expand your social circle, and participate in new events. Instead of scouring dating sites or hanging out in pick-up bars, find and participate in activities that interest you. You don’t have to be the life of the party or the star of the team, but just by putting yourself in a new environment it's likely you'll meet new people who share similar interests. Even if you don’t meet that special someone, you will still have enjoyed yourself and maybe forged new friendships.

Volunteer for a favorite charity, animal shelter, or political campaign. Or even try a volunteer vacation (for details see Resources section below).
Take an extension class at a local college or university.
Sign up for dance classes, cooking classes, or art classes.
Join a running club, hiking group, cycling group, or sports team.
Join a theater group, film group, or attend a panel discussion at a museum.
Find a local book group or photography club.
Attend local food and wine tasting events or art gallery openings.
Be creative: Write a list of activities available in your area and, with your eyes closed, randomly put a pin in one, even if it’s something you would never normally consider. How about pole dancing, origami, or lawn bowling? Getting out of your comfort zone can be rewarding in itself.

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The past week has ‘killed’ me. It has stripped me of whatever ‘self-importance’ I nursed in the corners of my mind. It has broken me and opened me up to my real self. It has brought me to a deeper level of self-awareness, one I am most grateful for.

When I sat with my MacBook to type my last blog, I never imagined it would generate the kind of attention it did and continues to. I have one last thing to say on this issue before I lay it to rest and move on. (I also hope others can move on too, we have too much going on in this Country to continue to peddle one for longer than necessary.)

A very big thank you to everyone that has felt it necessary to talk about this issue and spread it throughout Nigeria and the foreign scene. I read every email sent to me with awe that people would take the time out to reach a total stranger like me. Some were cursing, calling me a witch from the pit of hell sent to destroy the church as though one individual/church is bigger than the body of Christ. As though God is mere man and would cringe in heaven saying, “Ese don did it this time.” Or as if the good Book didn’t state clearly that ALL things work out for good for those
that love God.

Do you love God? If yes, trust that it will ALL turn around for good.

Some people say, ‘I support you, you are brave and courageous’ and I wonder if those terms really define me. I do not think I am brave or courageous. I do know, however that after decades of sleepwalking through life, I am now becoming aware not just of myself but also of my environment, my world, and the universe.

Some say, put out the evidence and we will believe you. Hmmm, the morning I sat to write that post, I really didn’t expect anyone to believe me. Well, apart from those involved. And my motive was simple, let one more woman be spared. Let one more minister of the gospel be mindful and let the church rise up to its responsibilities as God’s legal representatives here in the earth realm.

A copy of the ‘evidence’ is with a respected minister of the gospel should the christian body decide to deal with this issue now and that becomes needful. I am not looking to have a ‘me against them’ case where I need to prove I’m right and someone is wrong. I am far from right, but I have used the only means available to me to free myself of the bondage I put myself in.

Lastly, to all the media people seeking interviews and whatever else mailing me, I have nothing more to say on this issue. I cannot reply every email as reading them is beginning to seem like a new job.

I remember asking a friend once while reading the book of Acts, “Why do we no longer operate in the power the disciples did in Jesus day?” What has changed? How do we ‘unchange’ it?

God is not mocked, if we serve Him, let’s serve Him. We cannot continue to grow as a Nation by oppressing, delaying justice, hating, having the ME ME ME mentality. As Martin Luther King Jr said, ‘no one is free until we are all free.’

Things have got to change and it begins with us. It begins with each and every one of us borrowing courage to stand for what we believe in. Fela Durotoye once said, ‘that thing that annoys you most in society is a sign that you carry its solution.’ (I’m
paraphrasing)

Nothing has called out to me more than people, especially women, suffering in some way and hiding the pain. Whatever we cover doesn’t go away. It grows and it finds different outlets to rear its ugly head until we deal with it.

I am not perfect, I will never be, but I am enough to try what I feel might work. I don’t know what the entire bible says but I am learning and applying the little I find out daily. And I think everyone owes it to himself or herself to figure it out for themselves.

At the end of the day, we agree that ‘men of God’ are firstly men, right? This means it’s needless expecting them to help you in your growth with God. I fell into that trap of thinking a ‘man of God’ is equated to God and it is not new to find people fall in that hole.

How do you begin to learn to serve a God you have never seen? It takes another level of faith to do that but we live in a generation/Country where people don’t want to study for themselves. They don’t want to read the Scriptures. Well, they don’t want to read, period. They want to pursue things instead and have somebody do the praying and studying for them. If you fall in that category, you need to repent.

I learnt that when the veil was torn, we all were given equal access to the Father. No matter how long you may have been in church, if you don’t know what that means you better ask somebody. And seek a real relationship with the God you claim to serve.

That is what I am spending most of my time doing these days. Praying, studying, seeking, knocking. The peace I have felt despite all the hate mails and tantrums shows that God is not angry with me and I did what I needed to do to the best of my understanding.

My apologies to everyone this has affected in one way or another.

Firstly, my family: I don’t know how you guys aren’t sick of me yet

Secondly, ‘the body of Christ,’ my intention was never to cause trouble but to stop a rot I felt might spread and become worse if nobody spoke up about it.

Lastly, to those who said I shouldn’t blog again, I respect and understand your concerns but the truth is, writing is not just my gift, it is also my ‘curse’. I cannot ‘NOT’ write but I PROMISE, this is the last I will say on this issue except the christian body needs to see me.

God is building His church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. No sin is too big to wreck anyone’s faith. If it does, then it means it’s working out a greater good for you. You will definitely come out stronger and better in the end. Like my best friend says “in the end, it will be all right and if it ain’t alright, it’s not the end.”

“…forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Paul.

Cheers to the weekend people.

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A 41-year-old woman, Mrs Catherine Sefunmi Urouna, has allegedly committed suicide by drinking some poisonous substance in protest of her husband's refusal to buy her an iPad device.
Her family of five was on Saturday morning thrown into mourning, even as the neighbours were shocked that a woman, who was happily married with children, could take such a nasty decision to take her own life over an iPad.

According to LEADERSHIP finding, the 41-year-old woman and mother of three, two boys and a girl, was a senior account officer at the Akure North local government council of Ondo State.
She was said to have threatened to kill herself a fortnight ago if her husband failed to get her an iPad; even as the husband had pleaded with her to be patient and asked her to use the Blackberry phone he bought for her until he could afford to buy her an iPad.

The police in Ondo State, however, said they were investigating the incident to ascertain the actual cause of her death




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The Kukere crooner yesterday signed a three hundred and fifty thousand dollars one year endorsement deal with Zinox Computers. Zinox computers, which is Nigeria’s first certified branded computers, will upload all Iyanya's songs and videos to all their computers. Iyanya will also do a song for them and appear on Zinox billboards and TV commercials.

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A Chinese man is facing trial after claiming he could exorcise ghosts from inside a woman - using his penis.
Huang Jianjun had allegedly made his young victim pay to have sex with him to banish evil ghosts that he claimed can only be caught with his manhood.

According to Chinese newspaper the Southern Metropolis Daily, the alleged victim had contacted self-proclaimed 'ghostbuster' Huang Jianjun for help after she fell for her boss at work, and she needed help seducing her boss.
She met Jianjun at a hotel room and he ordered her to strip naked on the bed for an examination.

After the examination, he then explained to her that she has a "vagina full" of trouble-causing ghosts who are preventing her boss from falling in love with her.
And that the ghosts could only be caught with his penis. That she must have sex with him in order to be cured.
The alleged victim, a shop-worker, called the police who promptly arrested JianJun.

He reportedly told the authorities he had lost the ability to gain an erection due to diabetes.
JianJun is currently awaiting trial in Guangzhou, Guangdong Province.

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According to a BBC REPORT Two Kenyan men have signed an agreement to "marry" the same woman, reports say.

The woman had been having affairs with both men for more than four years and apparently refused to choose between them.
The agreement sets out a rota for Sylvester Mwendwa and Elijah Kimani to stay in her house and states they will both help raise any children she bears.

Lawyers said their "marriage" would be legally recognised if they could prove polyandry was part of their custom.
Mr Mwendwa and Mr Kimani drafted the agreement after realising they had both been having an affair with the woman in Mombasa County for more than four years, the local Daily Nation newspaper reports.

Community policing officer Adhalah Abdulrahman persuaded the two men to marry the woman after he saw them fighting over her, it reports.
"We have agreed that from today we will not threaten or have jealous feelings because of our wife, who says she's not ready to let go of any of us," the agreement says, Kenya's NTV station reports.

"Each one will respect the day set aside for him. We agree to love each other and live peacefully. No-one has forced us to make this agreement," it adds.

Mr Mwenda said her parents had given their blessing, while he is planning to pay the bride price.
The woman, a widow with two children, did not want to be named.

Kenyan family lawyer Judy Thongori told the Daily Nation that the law does not explicitly forbid polyandry - a woman having more than one husband.

"The laws we have do not talk about it but for such a union to be recognised in Kenya, it has to be either under the statutory law or as customary marriage. The question we should ask now is whether these people come from communities that have been practising polyandry," she is quoted as saying.

Polygamous marriages often take place in Kenya, but wife-sharing is unheard of, correspondents say.

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Arsene Wenger believes Arsenal fans have been “brainwashed” by the constant negativity surrounding his team.

Wenger came under fire from large sections of the Emirates Stadium crowd following Arsenal’s 3-1 defeat against Aston Villa on the opening day of the season.

That barrage of abuse followed several incidents of barracking from angry fans last season as Arsenal’s trophy drought stretched to eight years.

But Gunners boss Wenger, whose side have calmed the critics with successive victories over Fenerbahce and Fulham since that Villa loss, is convinced the occasionally poisonous atmosphere in north London is due to fans letting their emotions get the better of them after reading so many negative stories about the club.

“It’s always excessive reactions,” Wenger said. “We lost one game since the beginning of March. That’s why it (the Villa loss) was a shock.

“The defeat was a shock, because it’s the first game of the season.

“We won in the Champions League away at Bayern (Munich, in March), we won 3-0 at Fenerbahce.

“It’s just like that at the moment. You (the media) have brainwashed a little bit the Emirates.

“Maybe rightly so, because we haven’t won trophies for years; everything is always negative.

“We have to live this out and just play football well.”

The Frenchman has been in charge at Arsenal since October 1996 and is now the top flight’s longest serving manager following Alex Ferguson’s retirement from Manchester United last season.

But Wenger, who has turned down a host of offers to leave Arsenal during his reign, believes society in general, and football in particular, has become more reactionary and less likely to show loyalty during difficult times.

“On one side when people are not loyal, people criticise; when they are loyal, they say they are there for too long,” he said.

“It’s always an excessive reaction and that’s why people in charge have to take a (step back), more than ever.

“Being responsible in life is to do things you think are right, it’s not to react to what people say.

“If you listen always to what people say, you go five minutes one way and 10 minutes later you go the other way.

“When you have responsibilities you have just to focus on making the right decisions and if they’re not right, you say ‘sorry, I’m wrong’. When we lose a game, I’m wrong.”

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According to a book by journalist Annick Cojean titled Gaddafi's Harem: The Story Of A Young Woman And The Abuses Of Power In Libya, late dictator, Colonel Gaddafi while he was alive, ordered the kidnap of schoolgirls who he kept as sex slaves in his compound.a

Ms Cojean investigated Gaddafi's abuses of power after meeting Soraya (her name has been changed), who Gaddafi kidnapped when she was 15 and held for five years as a sex slave.
Sonaya says she was violently molested, beaten and abused on an almost daily basis and saw similar abuse of other girls and boys.

Telling her story, Soraya said while at school in the coastal town of Sirte, she had been given the 'honour' of presenting a bouquet of flowers to Gaddafi during a visit in 2004.
After presenting the flowers, Gaddafi, who had eight children, patted her head. She said this was a symbol to his aids that he wanted her.



The following day she was summoned to his palatial six-mile long compound near Tripoli, Bab al-Azizia, where she was stripped, shaved and taken to Gaddafi.
She said he was lying unclad on the bed and tried to rape her.
When she fought him off, Soraya was taken away by head of the harem Mabrouka for 'lessons'.

She is quoted in the book as saying: 'He grabbed my hand and forced me to sit next to him on the bed. I didn't dare look at him.
'He said, "Don't be afraid. I'm your papa. That's what you call me, isn't it? But I'm also your brother and your lover. I'm going to be all that for you. Because you are going to stay and live with me forever."'
The schoolgirl was given bad to watch and was made to watch Gaddafi made love with others so she could 'learn'.

Boys and his male guards were also molested by the tyrant, according to the book.
Soraya was eventually allowed home in 2009 but she says she is a shame to her family because she had sex outside marriage.
She said she only felt free from Gaddafi after his death in 2011 at the end of the civil war.



The book also features interviews with a woman who ferried the girls to Gaddafi's compound and other victims.
Ms Cojean also alleges Gaddafi, who was married to Safia Farkash, pursued students and the wives of foreign dignitaries.

Ms Cojean was quoted in the New York Daily News as writing: 'It was not so much about seducing a woman as, through her, humiliating the man who is supposed to be responsible for her.'
Female visitors were routinely subjected to blood tests by Gaddafi's nurses to make sure they were disease free in case he wanted to made love with them.

Marie Colvin, the Sunday Times journalist killed in Syria in 2012, reported that a nurse had approached her with a needle when she was in Tripoli to interview Gaddafi. She declined to give blood.

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A retired Archbishop of Benin Catholic Archdiocese, His Grace, Archbishop Patrick Ebosele Ekpu, recently, marked 50th anniversary as a priest. Since his retirement three years ago, the Uromi born cleric has dedicated his life to praying for the Church. On October 26, 2013, His Grace will be marking his 82 birthday. Sunday Vanguard met him last weekend for this interview. He spoke on how he trained over 100 priests in school, the crisis in Benin Catholic Archdiocese, insecurity in some northern states, the acquisition of private jets by men of God, gay priesthood and some national issues. Excerpts:

How is life in retirement?
We thank God it has been very pleasant, restful as I will like it to be.

What motivated you into priesthood?
“It is God’s grace. Only God calls and one responds and it is also His help and inspiration that keeps one going.

Are you not worried that the Catholic Church is losing its followers to the Pentecostal churches?

We lose some faint hearted members but the majority remains. If you look at the Catholic Church, say in Benin- City, you will see that as some people are dropping out, others are coming because the number of the parishes is increasing which is a sign that the Church is alive and growing stronger every day.

While you were the bishop, many new parishes came up. How did you achieve that?

“It was God at work, one tried to propagate the gospel and people listened and accepted it.

How do you view the crisis in the Catholic Church in Benin- City which has seen some persons calling for the installation of a Benin bishop?

I have always told them that they should pray for a good bishop no matter where he comes from because, to me, the Catholic Church is like a university. If you establish a university in a place, what the university needs is the best brains available to help to bring up the youths in the place not whether he comes from there or not. It is worrisome and I will say it is lack of faith; if you believe in God and do what is right, the correct thing will come up, not by our chosen but at God’s own time.

But why is it that there has not been a Bini bishop just like they are agitating? There is a similar case in Mbaise, Imo State where the people said they want a bishop from their area.

“Well, we are trying to politicize something that is essentially spiritual. If you take the case of Mbaise for example, was a Bini man sent there to be the bishop? Or was he an Hausa man? Isn’t it an Igbo man that was sent there? But they said no, they want a particular tribal or ethnic origin of the person, it is lack of faith and that is why I said spiritual problems have to be tackled with spiritual forces and what is happening is a question of lack of faith. If they have faith, they will not be agitating. If we accepted somebody who is from Ireland, or from England to be a bishop, why will you say you don’t want a fellow Nigerian as bishop? Don’t you see that something is wrong somewhere?

The way forward
I was active as a bishop in Benin Archdiocese. At that time, the archdiocese encompassed the whole of Edo State. Each time I wanted to translate the mass into Bini language, I had only one Benin priest who was able to assist me in the translation, all those who are complaining, some of them cannot read and write Bini language. And that is why I laugh each time they try to politicize church activities.

Shouldn’t the Church train more Bini priests for this purpose?

“The Church will if you find the candidates. If the candidates are not there, will I come and take your child and make him go and speak Bini? But the Church has always trained Binis who are interested in priesthood and we will continue to do that.

What do you say about the Edo Liturgical Group that is championing this cause?

In the Catholic Church, it is the bishop of a place that is the head of the liturgy. Liturgy means public worship, so the bishop is ultimately responsible for the liturgy in the Church. Who appointed them as Edo Liturgical Group or who authorized them? Such people have no basis to arrogate to themselves a position they do not have. They do not know the principles of what they claim to represent. Who guides them?

The Church is also facing the issue of gay marriage. How do you react to that?

We all are responsible for the development and better enlightenment of our citizens because we are throwing our culture away; if you are a biologist, have you ever heard where a male cow is going after a male cow or a male camel going after a male camel? If we saw a lot of that practice, then we might say it is natural for a man to do that, but you know that the issue of procreation is such that it is social, it is the environment that affects people’s behaviour and if the social environment encourages what you are doing, or promotes it, then one easily falls into but if it does not, then it will not develop.

“Boko Haram
Even if you remove Christianity, does the African culture promote the killing of your neighbor just because you disagree? What are they using to kill these Christians? Is it their own manufactured ammunition or those manufactured by the very Europeans you said you don’t want their culture? The dresses they wear, where are they from? The food they eat, what is it served on? Is it not got from western civilization? They are not sincere and they have no love for their fellow Nigerians. And their actions being politically motivated cannot be eliminated. What they are doing is evil and is inexcusable.

Are you satisfied with the Federal Government’s handling of the situation?

The security situation in the country could have been better managed but, as it is said, who is government? You and I are the people who elected those representing us and managing the government, therefore, to some extent, we the populace are also liable for the defects we see in government because when elections comes, somebody comes and gives you money and you take and go to vote for him, you forget your future and the future of your children and children’s children. Who is to blame? Is it just those hungry for power or those of us who accept bribes to vote for them?

We are all liable and co-responsible for whatever deficiencies we may notice in society. I think Nigerians should seek more of their fellow Nigerians and of their future and therefore be circumspect in whom they vote into power to represent them. Again talking about governance, government should have the political will to put the right persons in the right positions. If somebody is found wanting in any of the sectors, send the person packing and put the right person there.

What is your view on the growing acquisition of private jets by pastors in Nigeria?

If they bought private jets, how did they come about the money? Félix Houphouët-Boigny built a basilica. I remember visiting Abidjan and from there I went to Yamoussoukro. It was the Nigerian ambassador to Cote D’Ivoire who told us that the man built the basilica from the resources of his family, that his father had a large expanse of land and that they had a lot of cocoa from which they made their wealth. But an outsider will say that he used government money to build it.


So if that pastor had also bought a private jet and used the resources of his family, you probably will say he has used his followers’ money, but if indeed he uses his followers’ money and his followers allow him, then they have endorsed what he is doing. It may not be a good example he is showing others, but he has not abused his position or somebody else’s right. But if he uses the Church’s resources, I will say he has some questions to answer to his worshipping community and his God whom he claims to serve. Churches are springing up every day in Nigeria, but they don’t seem to be able to check corruption and immorality.

Why?
As you very well know, the Church does not have a police force, a CID or FBI or CIA; it is lack of commitment, lack of faith on the part of those who claim to be Christians or Church goers but really are not convinced or converted to the truth.

How do you see churches owning schools and tuition fees are beyond the reach of many members?

The easiest approach would have been that you give a peanut salary to the teachers and you know what will happen, they will not do their work, they will not be there; so if they are going to be retained and do an honest day’s work, they have to be paid good salaries and since those churches or schools do not receive subvention from government, well, I don’t know where you want them to get the money from to pay good salaries to the teachers.“So where does that leave the children of the poor who are members of that church?“If there are really deserving ones, you give them scholarship. And how do you know they are not giving them scholarship?

Even the Federal Government, with all the oil money and all the taxes it collects, has it been able to give scholarship to every citizen? It is not done anywhere, nowhere, as they say in America, there is no free lunch; somebody pays for it. In Nigeria, we want every problem solved, but, as Christ himself said, the poor will always be with you, you cannot be able to answer all the needs of all the poor people in the world at once, it has to be gradual and the more people they train, people are more conscious of the defects of their neighbors and those followers will be able to take care of some of them and the Church takes care of the rest and the government with its social welfare programmes takes care of the others.

Marriage for Catholic priests
The position of the Church is that if you want to be a Catholic priest in the Western right, you do not get married, so, before you become a priest, you have a long time to think about it, whether you want to make the sacrifice or not. It is a sacrifice, not God’s law. Therefore, we should adhere to the tradition and discipline of the Church. If you know you cannot adhere to the rules, you have a choice to go into other vocations. But the rule of the Church remains the rule.“

If you had not been a priest, what would you have been?
I would have liked to be a lawyer and an administrator. That is what appealed to me, that is a profession you have to be free, even your parents have no right to decide for you what you have to do, they can advise but the ultimate decision lies with you. I felt God was calling me to be a priest and that is where I can make my own contribution to God’s glory and work out my own salvation. And I have no regrets being a priest today.

What have been your most challenging and happiest moments?
Challenging moment will be when you find the people or leadership cadre that you have prepared disappointing you and following a course that is contrary to what you have prepared them to handle. One of my happiest moments was when I ordained 14 priests at a time at the University of Benin chapel in October 2, 1998. If you look at all the Nigerian priests in Archdiocese of Benin City, Father Patrick Osinbor and Theophilus Uwaifo are the only ones that I did not ordain and train, any other one, by the grace of God, passed through my hands.

It was very difficult because I had to look for money to pay their fees and then it came to a time that, in the seminary in Bodija, Ibadan, I had over a hundred students whom I had to pay for and it was by no means easy. I tried to harness all the resources available and appealed to friends and members of the Church who understood what my goal was and they assisted. ASUU strike“I would humbly request them to sit down and talk over their different problems and when decisions are reached, they should be followed. Government should honour agreements they reached with ASUU.

How do you assess Oshiomhole’s administration in Edo State?
I hear many people praise him, I think he is a sincere man, he had been on the other side of government, he was a labour leader and therefore knows the problems of the workers and I think he tries to respond to them. He is doing very well, people are not disappointed.

Message to Nigerians I say let us take some moments off and think about what we think is best for us and how we, together with government, can move the nation forward. For the Catholics, I want them to go back to the basics, renew their faith in God, be loyal to God and be sincere in truth and in spirit to follow our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ.

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Dozens of suspected Boko Haram militants in Magumeri forest, Borno, have turned to human eaters after being stranded for days without food or water.

Magumeri forest is about 150 kilometres from Maiduguri, the state capital.

Mallam Momodu Bukar, a suspected militant, told newsmen on Saturday in Maiduguri that he fled the camp at the forest on Thursday when it became obvious that he was going to be eaten.

“I thank God that I escaped because I would have been slaughtered by now to provide meal for my colleagues at the camp,” Bukar said.

The suspected militant was captured by a Youth Vigilante Group, popularly known as the civilian JTF at Baga Road motor park, Maiduguri, on Friday..

He said the militants had been in the forest since May, when they were dislodged from Marte, Marte Local Government Area, by the Joint Task Force (JTF) on Operation Restore Order (ORO) after the declaration of the State of Emergency.

“Our group, consisting of about 300 well armed combatants, headed for Magumeri on the orders of the sect leader, Abubakar Shekau, shortly before the military took over Marte Camp.

“We have been wandering in the forest. We have exhausted our food and water supply, and so, everybody became hungry,” Bukar said.

He also said that they lost contact with Shekau due to the closure of GSM services by the Defence Headquarters.

“It all started last Monday when three of the combatants in camp died of acute hunger, and it became obvious that all of us will die if action was not taken.

“The leader of the group, Abu Omar, directed that a non combatant member be slaughtered to provide meal for the rest.

“The meat provided meal for the combatant for just two days and another person was killed in the same manner on Wednesday.

“So, it became certain that I might be the next person since I am also a non combatant member.”

Bukar said he escaped after volunteering to help search for drinking water for the group in a nearby village.

“I left the camp on Thursday evening after agreeing to fetch water from the village.

“After leaving the camp, I started running until I arrived at Magumeri town, so, I slept in the motor park before boarding a vehicle to Maiduguri with the little money on me.” he said.

Bukar said that he was apprehended immediately he arrived at the motor park in Maiduguri by the youth vigilante group.

Commenting, an official of the vigilante group, Mallam Ajid Asheik, said the suspect would be handed to the Joint Task Force (JTF) on Operation Restore Order (ORO) for investigation.

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FEDERAL Government has expressed its readiness to partner with the Performing Musicians Association of Nigeria (PMAN) and the Nigerian Singer-Songwriter, Daniel Oyebanjo, popularly known as D’banj in its efforts to projecting the country to the rest of the world.

The Minister of Tourism, culture and National Orientation, Chief Edem Duke who made this known in Abuja during a separate visit by the D’banji and the PMAN in Abuja noted that Nigeria Music Industry had grown tremendously that it could not be ruled out in any strategy to positively project the country.

L-R: MD Prive International, Jolly Cole, D’banj and the Minister of Tourism, Culture and National Orientation, Chief Edem Duke.

“The ministry as a citadel of entertainment sector wishes to work with you to redefine the Nigeria entertainment industry for better. It takes level headed professional to be able to resonate in the mind of the millions Nigerians,” the minister told D’banji. He added “whatever Nollywood had become today, the country’s music industry played a major role, therefore it will not be out of place to partner with you as it related to the centenary celebration”.

Responding, D’banji said Nigeria Entertainment Industry was one of the biggest in the world, and it had potential to turn the fortune of the country around, if properly managed, urging the federal government not to focus only on the oil.

“Right now, music is very universal and all of people all over the world are now listening to African music, I want every one to come and see how great Nigeria is, let them not focus only on the oil,” he urged.

In her separate remarks, the President of PMAN, Hajia Amina Dangaji applauded government’s effort to promote the country’s image through the project ‘Fascinating Nigeria’, and promised to assist “to make known our admirable features and diverse cultures to the world positively”.

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…I engineered murder plot – Night guard
Did a housewife hire an assassin to kill her rival? Or did the family night guard try to assassinate his master’s wife? These are the knotty questions the police in Ibadan, Oyo State capital are attempting to answer after a suspected hired assassin, Ikechukwu Christopher, was arrested.

The suspect was said to be on his way from Enugu to Ibadan to carry out the assassination when he ran into the police. A locally-made single barrel gun and a woman’s photograph found on him gave him away. He was taken into custody.

Ikechukwu named one Adenola Adeniyi, a former timber contractor, based in Ago Iwoye, Ogun State, as his sponsor. The police went after Adeniyi who, in turn, named one Arowolo Lateef as the person who gave out the assassination job. Assassination fee was put at N80,000.

The police alleged that a woman, identified as Mrs. Funke Abidoye, contracted Lateef, the family nightguard, now apprehended, to assassinate the husband’s junior wife, Ololade.

But the nightguard denied the claim, saying he was the mastermind of the murder plot to avenge the ordeal of the first wife, Funke, in the hands of Ololade.

Meanwhile, Funke is said to be on the run.

Oyo State Police Commissioner, Mr. Mohammed Indabawa, narrating the story, said Ikechukwu, the suspected hired assassin, confessed that he was contracted by Adeniyi and Lateef to kill Ololade, “Based on his confession, the said Adenola was arrested and he too corroborated the statement made by Ikechukwu and added that he was hired by Arowolo at the rate of N80,000”, Indabawa said.


He continued: “Investigation revealed that Arowolo hired them at the rate of N80,000. After a diligent investigation, the said Arowolo too was arrested and he confessed that one Funke, the first wife to one Muyiwa Abidoye, hired him to kill the younger wife. He explained further that he, as the husband’s night guard, was contracted by the first wife to look for hired assassins that would kill the younger wife.

“Items recovered from the three suspects are one locally made single barrel, one dane gun, eight live cartridges, one expended cartridge, one dismantled locally made gun, two cutlasses, eight handsets, one nylon containing criminal charms, photographs of Mrs. Ololade Abidoye and her husband, Muyiwa Abidoye found on the prime suspect, Ikechukwu. Meanwhile, the second wife who was said to have contracted the arrested suspects to kill her colleague has absconded from her matrimonial home. Efforts are on top gear to prosecute the arrested suspects”.

But, Arowolo denied being contracted by the first wife as alleged by the police, stressing that he just wanted to kill the younger wife in annoyance and to avenge the ordeal the first wife suffered because of her younger wife.

Ikechukwu confessed that his boss in Enugu gave him the contract to carry out the assassination. “But, when I was going, the police stopped me and found the pistol I was carrying. I was arrested and taken into custody”.

When asked why he was the person his boss in Enugu instructed to commit the crime if he had not done anything like that before, he answered that he learnt the act of shooting through hunting game and he had never been involved in killing anybody.

Adeniyi said he was in Ago Iwoye as a timber contractor when the business went under and Arowolo offered to help.

“He gave me a motorcycle to work and he did not collect any money from me. After sometime, he told me a woman was owing him N20million and for three years, she had been avoiding him. I asked him the business he transacted with the woman but he told me to help him look for hired assassin to kill the woman. After sometime, he started to threaten me. I later got in touch with one man who now linked me with a man at Enugu”.

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Prophet Christopher Ukpala says he is a spiritual doctor and he is giving Governor Babatunde Fashola a 2weeks ultimatum to either reopen the Yaba railway market or risk losing two of his kids.
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After seven months of undergoing treatment for Lymphoma, a type of cancer of the blood, in Platinum Medical Centre, Wellington , London , Nwachukwu Ozioko, popularly known as Vast of the singing group, Bracket is back. He returned to the country last week and was treated to a grand reception by his friends. In this interview,Vast who is still recuperating recounts how he battled with the deadly disease and came out alive.


*Nwachukwu Ozioko (Vast)

How did it happen?

I don’t know what to say, but first of all, I want to give thanks to God. I was very sick. Before I went to the hospital, I attended a couple of shows. I wondered how I was able to perform at the shows because I was seriously ill. My partner, Obumneme Ali a.k.a Smash and I had series of shows and in a situation where payment has been made, I had no option than to grace the stage. We decided to round off our shows late last year in order to enable me take care of my health in 2013. But unfortunately, up till January, this year, we were still going for concerts. We even had to travel to Australia to stage a concert.

Then, I was visiting one of the hospitals in Lagos, and that was where I was diagnosed. They carried out all the medical examinations, and when the results came out, the Haematologist advised me to seek for further treatment abroad.

If you have travelled to America or any Schengen country within two years, you can apply for a Priority Visa and we were qualified to do so. We applied and within four days, the visa came out. We met a friend in the UK who introduced us to his brother who is a Medical Doctor. He assisted us and we met a Haematologist who advised that I should re-run all the tests again.

The only thing we didn’t do was the surgery which I did back home before I was diagnosed of suffering from blood cancer. After everything, they started with the treatment they called ‘Bone Marrow’. It wasn’t an easy one, it was very difficult. I thought I would loose all the blood in my body but thank God I survived it. After a week, I started having complications, I had to return to the hospital to have blood transfusion after which I felt better. We spent a lot of money. At a point, I was hopeless and was only praying to God for His mercies.

After the second chemotherapy, I started exercising because the doctor advised me to do regular exercise. However, it was after the third chemotherapy that the pictures I took while in the hospital leaked. By then, I was already bouncing back to life because I passed through the valley of the shadow of death. After the fourth chemotherapy, we shot a video, ‘Temperature’ in London .

I didn’t even know I could do that. I initially thought the cycle would be six but before the fifth chemotherapy, the doctor informed us that it was going to be eight. I got confused at that point and even doubted what they were doing. I thought they just wanted to milk me because it was expensive. My manager, partner and Chief Executive Office however encouraged me to complete the treatment.

I was only going to the hospital, then to the gymnasium and back to the house. After the seventh chemo, I was told to do a Lumber Punch- they would have to inject my spine. It was done after the fifth chemo and it was very painful. I thought I would be paralysed. I was told the Lumber Punch was necessary to prevent the disease from getting to the brain. At that point, our account was almost in the red.

Luckily, a friend known as Ugonna came to London during my third chemo and was moved when he heard that we had accommodation problem. He later gave us some money to look for one. Ugonna was the only person that assisted me financially apart from the prayers and encouragement of my fans and the media. I did the Lumber Punch and lost a lot of blood.

Two days after, I went to get another chemo. When one undergoes chemo, it kills both the good and the bad cells and flushes out all the blood in your system. So, you have to be refreshing. Imagine losing so much blood after the Lumber Punch and after the chemo. I was almost a dead person.My colour overnight. I remembered what the doctor told me that cancer is not the problem but the treatment.

After a week and a half, I started exercising, taking juice and everything that would help build my blood again. I was finally cleared from the hospital and I thank God for His mercies. A lot of people came to our house to rejoice with us when we returned to the country during the week. I want to thank them. The likes of P-Square, Jimmy Jatt, Dammy Krane, KCee, Chidinma, Illbliss, JMartins and many others.

What kind of cancer did you have?

I had Lymphoma. It is a blood cancer. When I asked the doctor what could the cancer of the blood, he said, nobody knows the cause for now. According to him, it’s like a situation where a dark complexion couple making a baby and the baby turns out to be an albino and if you are asked to explain why, you cannot tell.

I must say that when I was hospitalised, my partner was doing a good job. He would call the producer and they would make a beat and send it to me. He even made the chorus. I picked one of the songs when I came back and hit the studio. We did one of the tracks, it was fantastic. We did another song and it was good as well, all within two days.

Vast and Smash

Vast and Smash

During the seven months of your ordeal, what kept you going?

What kept me going was God. Before I went for the treatment, I saw myself dying slowly. We got the visa and contacted the Medical Doctor that attended to us. It was no doubt the handiwork of God. This doctor handles only cancer related cases.My family, my manager, partner and CEO were there for me. We travelled together. They made sure I was well taken care of, while my ordeal lasted.

Interestingly, when the picture I took while in the hospital leaked, I was reading the outpour of love, prayers and soothing words from my fans. Some of them even said, they would die if I die. Then the press guys were there for me. They were keeping tabs of my progress and informing my fans duly. All of these, did a whole lot in keeping me going. That’s why I got the courage and I know that it has always been God, my family, the media and my fans.

What have you learnt from your experience?

I learnt that life is very precious. No matter what you do and wherever you are, don’t look down on anybody because you don’t know who will help you tomorrow. Another thing is that you don’t have to be scared of death. You have to face the challenge. Live a normal life. If you are scared of death, you will die. At a point, when I got very scared, the sickness came in full force, but when I started picking courage, it subsided and I recovered.

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Mohammed and Aftab Asghar, 22, were both arrested after DNA evidence was found at the scene which provided a possible link to one, or both, the brothers. Since identical twins come from the same fertilised egg, they have the same DNA.

Police investigated after a girl aged 17 claimed she was attacked in a park near Reading, Berks, on Guy Fawkes Night 2011. Detectives decided to charge both men. Prosecutors have now requested more time to continue investigating lines of inquiry which may lead to only one of the brothers facing trial.


Prosecutor Sandra Beck told Reading crown court: “It is an unusual case. They are identical twins. The allegation is one of rape.

“There is further work due and there is an indication which would tend to support that one was not at the location.’’

No further details were revealed about the circumstances surrounding the alleged offence.

Even though identical twins are born with the same DNA, scientists have discovered that tiny genetic changes can occur to cells early in development, allowing for differences as twins grow older.
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We all have our different ways we like to sleep. Some people prefer to be on their stomach, others their back, some their sides, some with thousands of pillows, others with none, with blankets on, with blankets off, listening to music, with our pets in the bed, with the air-conditioner and the heater on at the same time…the list goes on.What Your Sleeping Position Says About Your Relationship

Our sleeping patterns are as different as we are. But the way we sleep can say a lot about our relationship status.

1. Spooning with the male behind

Spooning with the man behind, is a protective and sensual way to sleep. It signifies a protective stance by the male, because it makes a woman feel that her partner is willing to look after her. This position hints at a traditional relationship.

2. Spooning with the woman behind

Spooning, with the woman behind, hints at a very nurturing relationship and shows that the woman is the backbone of the relationship. She cuddles her partner and makes him feel loved and secure in this position. In this relationship the man wouldn't be frightened of letting his partner be his emotional anchor.

3. Both partners sleep on their sides, with their backs turned to each other

Both people facing the edge of the bed signals that you lack connection with each other and you may suffer from a lack of intimacy. It generally signifies two independent people, who run their own lives, however, this independence in the bedroom may lead to a lack of intimacy and loss of emotional connection in the long term.

4. He sleeps on his back while she's on her side cuddled up into his arms

This position provides full on contact and sleeping this way signals you simply can't resist cuddling up and feeling that closeness. You're probably still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship and should make sure you don't lose some of that desire as time goes on.

5. She sleeps on her back while he's on her side cuddled up into her arms

In this position, he's signaling that he really needs you, and he wants a real emotional connection and to feel comforted by you.

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Popular Nollywood actress, Stella Damascus has come up with with a list of things that men really want and how women can keep their men. Here is what she has to say.

Now we know that the one thing men cannot live without apart from money is S&X. Wives don't deprive your husbands or they will get it elsewhere.

What men want:

-They want to feel like they are in control of things which is not bad because they are the head.
-They want to feel loved and like it or not they are our first babies who desire words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem.
They want to feel WANTED all the time, it gives them the confidence that all men crave for.
- They want to know you are still sexually attracted to them.
- They don't want you to make it obvious that you are smatter even if you are.
- They like their space and alone time.
- They don't want to come home to a fat mama who is the opposite of the sexy curvy woman he fell in love with.
- They don't want to come and hug you after work with you smelling of onions and oil. At least take a shower before he gets there or if there is no time spray perfume.
- They want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home.
- They want you to be a good listener not just a talker.
- They want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them.
- They want to know that no matter what you will have their back and support them, then ask questions later.
- They just want to see that you are making an effort because no human should expect you to be perfect.
- They don't want another mother but they want you to take care of them the way you would your kids.
- They want a wife, girlfriend, sorry to say (personal call girl) which is not a bad thing because he is your husband who is free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning.

Think about this objectively, try out what you agree with and discard what you don't. Leave the messenger out of it for a change and see the bigger picture ahead.
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Nigerian American rapper and record producer, Lanre Dabiri, better known by his stage name eLDee, has come out to say that clubs sell fake alcohol to their customers.

He claims to have gotten the information from a club manager. Well if this is true, people should start calling out the names of those clubs before they send people to early grave.
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