₦airaland Forum

2nd March

Hello Doctor,

Am sorry, my story may seem a bit long. But i intend giving you the full medical history so you could advise me.
Sometime in year 2009, i took a family planning injection meant to last for only 3months but surprisingly, i kept bleeding for a whole year (non-stop). At a time, the hospital advised i should go on Primolut-N which i did and i noticed that the blood flow stops at one point after a while, it will start again. I was on Primolut N for a long time and afterwards the blood flow stopped.
When the flow stopped, my menstrual period all stopped flowing as i did not experience menstruation for over 5-6months.
it started again on its own but wasnt regular. But i just kept my calm and since i dint feel any pains or any reason to fear, i just felt it will normalise again someday. But to my shock, about 5 months back now, my period comes regularly but for a period of about one month non-stop. On seeing this, i reported to a doctor who recommended a scan and i was told the report showed a tiny(very little) fibroid but that there was no reason to fear as it occurs in EVERY woman (i was surprised though).

As i write now, i have been experienceing both menstrual flow/pain since the 2nd day of November and uptill last week, it continued. I visited a doctor last week who placed me on Primolut N again and i have been using same (2ce a day). The flow stopped but after 3 days of usage, the flow/waist pain continued despite my continual use of the drugs.

Pls i need your advise as i dont even know what next to do.

Hello All, new in the Romance section!

@12inches, u didnt state ur age oo.

Single, 34yrs old female but not desperate.5ft9in

HORLAHROHTIMY, lets know your age now. Got a friend by me here who is interested in joining NL, she'll like to know ur age.

March 2nd.
shiva, wats it as per marriage for me?

NOPE, NEVER! Not even with what I am presently experiencing. I am yet to forgive myself for the mistake in choice of spouse. I will overlook well before I leap. I truely wish I could have a chance to change NOW. Life is not just interesting with a lazy and unfocused man(so sad), who is always giving excuses for whateva happens. He never accepts blames and acts so irresponsibly. So painful. I hate to know I'm the one in this kind of situation.

What do i keep him occupied with?
He hates to do anything but watch films (with long seasons), sleep,and he is busy getting heavy and increasing in size by the day.
i havent lost 8 years of my life like (Smilenw)thinks, I have been able to move through it and my ability to get on top of this situation is just what i term 'the grace of God'.
His entire mentality is focused on the fact that he cant imagine why his spouse earns a salary and it cant be managed by the entire family. He hammers on this all the time. I have sat him down severally but while the discussion is going on, he will always have excuses for one action or the other and will always have a reason why one or another suggestion cant be tried.
I dont even know what to do about him.

kindly let me know why posts are hidden on this thread.
i ask so i know if at all there are some rules dat might have been mistakenly not been observed that has caused the posts to be hidden.

Smilenw(f): 11:20pm On May 11
I choose to ignore the "8 long years of joblessness" part of this story. Are you sure you have no major problem ? Otherwise why on earth would a woman bring in househelps one after another when you know your husband is sleeping around? Are you incapable of meeting his carnal needs? Else would he continue to sleep around with househelps when he knows you are fully aware of the situation ?I r'ber reading an article long back...it said kids and husbands turn out the way a mother/wife trains them. If you allow your man to raise his hand against you for no apparent reason, chances are he will remain to be a wife-beater forever. If you give-in to your kids' demands at the drop of a hat, they might live forever demanding everything at their fingertip. Your meaningful silence, reprimands, praises, support, love...if rightly used at the right time, all of this will bring about the desired result in the long run in your relationships with your husband and kids. Was really young when I read that and remember asking my friend whether these things would work out in real life. Seems the writer was right indeed, atleast in cases like yours. In your case, you have spoiled your husband beyond belief...allowed him to sit at home and hatch eggs for 8 goddamn years...spoiled him to to the extent of appointing young women to keep him busy in your absence. No point in crying over spilled milk.

Ofefegirl
I was hoping there will be changes. Never believed he was sleeping with the maids (whenever they accused him, he will swear even with the bible and even curse himself that it wasnt so and i kept believing him)not until one of them got pregnant, though the family of the lady aborted it.
i dont ever pray you find yourself in this kind of situation. I am not being boastful here, but you need to see the person behind this mail (I am proud of what the Heavens made of me) cant just understand how i missed it in the area of marriage. Nothing is wrong with me sexually, if there is, definitely he wont accuse me of infidelity.
I reported same case to his family members and they came for a meeting. All i can vividly remember was his eldest sibling asking me to pls allow him have some peace and that she is sure ihis condition will change one day. They obviously said i am overflogging the issue.
My concern is that he is already past employment age as he is in his midforties.

I've been married for 8years. Before the marriage, my hubby and I had a very cordial and beautiful relationship. He was a banker and lost his job 3months before our wedding.

He hasnt been able to get himself together ever since. Not gotten himself a job and has been acting very unserious. I have single handedly shouldered all responsibilities of the family including taking care of him without complaining. I have to force him to go get a job even to the extent of following up on written applications for him; he, most times will pass the first stage but will never be able to make it to the final stage of which they could employ him.

I couldnt bear it any longer at a stage (about 6years into the marriage), reason being that he started accusing me of infidelity which was never true. Considering our place of residence, Akute and I work on the Island, i always had to leave home before sunset and considering the nature of my job, i do close late and return home late. The situation got as bad as him having to be having sexual intercourse with my housegirls(to an extent that the longest a housegirl will serve with me is just 4months). Can be so difficult getting a good maid in Lagos and i kept loosing them in intervals of 3/4months.
This did not allow me concentrate even on the job (which happens to be the only source of livelihood)for the entire family which includes 2 female children.

The situation has so degenerated to the level where we dont even discuss or talk with each other now, he tell lies at every given opportunity and is very unashamed. He tells me to my face that there is no big deal in being a woman and taking charge of all financial responsibilities of the home front.

i truly wish to leave but afraid of what people will say.

pls i need your advise.