***** ONE SOLITARY LIFE ****

He was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman. He worked in a carpenter's shop until he was thirty. Then for three years he was an itineant Preacher.

He never wrote a book.
He never held an office; He never had a family of owned a house. He didn't go to college. He never visited a big city. He never travelled two hundred miles from the place where he was born. He had no credentials but himself.


He was only thirty-three when the tide of popular, opinion turned against Him. His friends ran away. One of them denied Him. Another betrayed Him. He was turned over to His enemies and went
through the mockery of a trail. He was nailed to a cross between two thieves.

While he was dying, His executioners gambled for
His clothing, the only property He had on earth. When He died, He was laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend.

Over Twenty centuries have come and gone, and today He is the central figure of Human race and the leader of mankind's progress.
All the armies that ever marched, all the navies that ever sailed, all the parliaments that ever sat, all the Kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man on earth as much as that ONE SOLITARY LIFE!!!


MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR...... REMEMBER HE IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!!!

The 10 commandments of modern dating

We’ve come a long way since “going steady” and “getting pinned” were considered benchmarks for a flourishing couple.

Nowadays, people can more easily define a “basic bitch” than their own relationship status. While the times have most certainly changed, I’d argue that there is still a desire and need for a few common courtesies.

They may even be all the more important now that single Americans outnumber their married counterparts for the first time in history.

We may call it hooking up rather than dating, swipe on our phones rather than approach strangers in a bar or blur the lines between friendships and romance, but that doesn’t make our methods any better or worse. In fact, even casual flings can be healthy and fun.

With all due respect, love doesn’t have to be a battlefield; we all just need to agree on a few basic ground rules. So, whether you’re a guy or a girl, gay or straight, looking for love or just a good lay, here are your 10 commandments of modern dating.

1. Thou Shalt Not Bear False Feelings
Let’s be real here: Are you actually into this person or are you keeping him on the back burner in case nothing better comes along? If it’s the latter, channel your inner Moses and let those people go.

You might hurt his feelings in the moment, but you’ll be doing him a favor in the long run. Trust.


2. Thou Shalt Honor Honesty Above All Else:
Ditch the Tough Guy and Cool Girl act already and be yourself. If whomever you’re seeing can’t appreciate the real you, then let it be their loss. Let your freak flag fly!

Someone who really likes you will appreciate your special snowflake-ness above all else. Who knows, you might even a share a few quirks.


3. Thou Shalt Not Judge Based on Superficiality:
You’ll only date someone taller than 6’0″? Only be seen with someone smaller than a size 4? Stop picturing what Instagram filter you’ll use and start imagining your day-to-day relationship.

Would you call that person to bitch about your boss? Could your friends survive an entire weekend away with him? Consider these your new baseline requirements.

People will spend .000035 seconds evaluating the hotness of your significant other then go right back to figuring out which “Girls” character they’re most like from a Buzzfeed quiz. That’ll be it.


4. Thou Shalt Have Sex Whenever Thou Is Ready:
Buying dinner is not a one-way ticket inside someone’s pants, nor should you expect it to be. In the same regard, waiting until after the stereotypical three dates does not ensure a healthy, long-term relationship.

Go with your gut, and do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. In today’s Tinder-verse, everyone and anyone can get laid if they really want to, so just be real about what you want.

If being that upfront sounds more awkward than waking up next to a stranger, I’d start questioning your logic.


5. Thou Shalt Not Covet The “Timeline”:
Ah, the timeline. In a perfect Stepford world, everyone would find the lid to their pot by 22, be married by 26 and pop babies out by 30. Alas, we live in reality. And, by the way, it’s much better out here.

Life is not a race with some imaginary finish line, so stop comparing your journey to everyone else’s. Being a real adult is about finding out what makes you happy and going for it. Everything else will fall into place after that.


6. Thou Shalt Not Take Everything Personally:
A very wise friend once wrote, “Ultimately, it is completely possible to be absolutely in love with someone who is wrong for you.” Remember, you are no less valuable just because one individual doesn’t feel the same spike in hormones as you do. They just weren’t the right one.


7. Thou Shalt Believe Those Who Say They Aren’t Interested:
They may not always say it outright (see: commandment one), but people who are no longer invested let it be known.

If they ignore you, cancel plans constantly without a valid excuse and generally don’t make you important, they are sending a clear message. Listen up, pay attention and move the frig on.


8. Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery (Sidenote: Also A Real Commandment):
I recently rekindled with an old flame only to learn after our date that she’s already in a serious relationship. Bad move. It’s time for all of us to grow up and be honest with each other. If you’re unhappy in your current relationship, end it before moving on. Case closed.


9. Remember Thine Own Heartbreak:
We’ve all been there: the tears, the overindulgence in junk food, the righteous indignation when relaying the story to friends. But do we ever consider the effects when we’re the villains in this scenario?

Not every ex-girlfriend is crazy, not every former boyfriend is an asshole, but we should all take a little responsibility for when we’ve played those roles.

That doesn’t mean whipping ourselves nightly (unless you’re into that sort of thing) or banishing ourselves to a lifetime of loneliness. It just means learning from our past mistakes.

10. Thou Shalt Do Unto Others, As Thou Would Have Them Do Unto You:
Feelings are bound to get hurt when emotions are this involved, but it all comes down to Aretha Franklin and her famous spelling bee: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. As long as we can all agree to that, the other commandments will fall into place.

It is very usual for me to rant but please don’t judge me…  I might still judge u tho.

Hii fellow earth people, male female and others…
My name is… Well never mind that’s not why we are here!

This cold tho… Its giving me semi brain freeze.
Forgive me, like I said “brain freeze”.

If u went for “Owambe” yesterday indicate by doing whatever u want…
How was the “partii” mind u I didn’t say “Party”

Was it a wedding? Awwww that’s the only Owambe party I desire to be going for.
Then when I’m home I start thinking of what the couple will do on the wedding night…

Stop!!!!! I didn’t say imagine with me…

Please can someone make me tea… Lipton preferably cos this cold… Hmm
Wedding night mood.

Wedding night ,  wedding night

What happens on wedding nights.

Like I heard, wedding nights are reserved for the couple to get  intimate, sexed, naked, you know what I mean
Breaking of the hymen and all…

But but… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
“I think so brain” pardon me I just had to add that part… Pinky and the brain was an awesome cartoon…

Moving on…

Are unmarried couples these days going to have the much awaited “wedding night”

You know the night where they bare it all…
Binding themselves physically and sexually…
Being glued with the ‘wedding night” unveiling

I guess not… This is because there had been other nights…

WAWUUU, I just got the much awaited text from the crush…. Well! I will try to suppress the fact that I wanna scream I wanna shout I wanna scream till words dry out…

Yeah yeah yeah right I turned Emeli Sande. -___-

Back to what I was typing,  the many nights are the few I will write here but not limited to them…

One of the nights is just the well we are dating let’s have sex.

Another is the I’m sorry sex,  I miss you, we got drunk, you bought me a gift, I’m just Hot, you look sexy tonight …. Hol’up! And yes they are names of “making love or having sex” and we breaking up sex too.  Lool most hilarious of them.

So I keep wondering if “wedding nights” won’t go extinct…
Because when all styles, types and emotions have been put into sex while just dating …
I wonder if wedding nights Will still be intriguing!

Oh my tea please… I think I see no nice person around; I will have to prepare the tea myself…

I can’t really say the tea won’t take long but…

Lemme just ask how many of you are looking forward to a Sex you have never had with anybody on ur wedding night.

I will stop typing now… The water is boiled

kilokeys:
was the older generation better
?.
we copied something from somebody

Yes, the older generation was better cos of more commitment and real love, then a lady can love even the most BROKE guy against her parents choice,.....

They had less of Materialism compared to wat we have dis days, .... we just profess love from our lips,......

missberrypop5:
Nice post. But love is really dead. It died in the old times.

Yea, but we can still revive it, if we profess love more from our hearts than our lips and really show more commitment to our loved ones

WHY THIS GENERATION HAS THE WRONG IDEA OF LOVE.


In this generation more than ever, people struggle to find love.  People are tired of meeting the misrepresented form of love, tired of being hopeful, tired of believing in love in it’s raw existence.

¤ Why is that:
This is because some think love should come easily and be easy to maintain. The truth is, is that true love does come easily, however, it takes work, hard-work.  Love isn’t a smooth ride, but the journey is worth it.  Most of us in this age want real love, but some do not want the work that comes with love itself.  We want great relationships, but are quick to quit during the storm.  We don’t care to put effort into fixing anything that goes wrong in relationships, we simply try to replace a relationship, especially when the problem is us, we are quick to replace partners. It’s obvious we live in a microwave society nowadays – an impatient generation. We also do not know the meaning of hard-work.  We are used to looking for other equations without solving the current problem.  That mentality also affects our love-life.

¤ True love is considered old school:
Lovely gestures are considered “kissing butt”, we let our pride stop us from doing the things necessary.  We don’t like expressing our love because we’re afraid of looking weak.  Both males and females of this generation mistake being rude, sarcastic and emotionless for good qualities.  Our fear of being walked on causes us to operate like robots looking for a real experience, instead of human-beings open to real experiences. Even good morals and values became a thing of the past. Therefore, what use to be right and loving becomes stupidity and opinions.

¤ We let fear conquer all instead of love:
Fear keeps us from ever opening our hearts to love.  We let the thought of getting hurt, over-power the possibilities of love. Instead of treating our hurts and healing from them, we cover up the wounds and use the wounds as a reminder to keep our walls up.  Being courageous when it comes to love, its foolishness to us. The quote “Love conquers all” is backwards to us, “all” seems to conquer love in our eyes.


¤ We fall in love with potential not reality:
We love the potentials in our partner, but won’t endure through their mistakes and shortcomings.  The honeymoon stage is all we consider love.  To us the honeymoon stage defines the relationship and we expect things to improve or at least remain the same.  From the experiences in the honeymoon stage, dawn future expectations for our partner and relationship. Unfortunately humans change, they face rough times, they fall short of their potentials, and the relationship may have rough seasons. Yet many of us never see beyond the honeymoon stage, when its done with, so are we.

¤ Lack of self-love:
In this age more and more kids were raised in broken homes,  which has an affect on self-love.  The absence of the father and the mother in the home in a functional relationship has caused both men and women to not know a side of love that is designed to learn from both parents.  Lack of that connection causes many to lack self-love and search for it in relationships.  This often leads to looking for love in the wrong place and operating under a false idea of what love should be.

¤ Lastly:
Lust is confused for love, sex isn’t love.  Emotions from sexual connection have lead many to believe they’re in love when in reality it’s lust.  Love is more than emotion, you can have chemistry and some emotional areas and not be in love.  This generation isn’t very successful on differentiating the two. Sex is a product of love,  but love isn’t a product of sex.

If your fiance / fiancee always threaten to leave you anytime there is a little disagreement between both of you and You have to beg him or her to stay, You are a divorcee in the making.

If what matters to God does not matter to your fiancé/ fiancée, you are in a wrong relationship!
Any single guy who double dates is a polygamist in the making. Any single lady who double dates is a potential polyandry.

Singles that are preparing for marriage, should get a regular source of income before marriage.Marriage is not just about sex, kissing or romance! Bills must be paid. Daipers must be bought. School fees must be paid. And Your landlord will collect his rent. The wife to be should also get something doing to support her husband!

If nobody employs You please employ yourself before your wedding. Discover and Develop Your Talent. Don't depend on people because people may only sponsor your wedding but they can't sponsor your marriage!
Take it or leave it, There can be no real romance without finance. Financial hardship can turn lovers to sworn enemies! Don't wait until you have the world before planning for your marriage. You can start with a room if you can't afford a room and parlor for now! As time goes on, God will expand both of you! Start With What You Have! Don't wait until you have million of dollars in your account! And one more thing, always be prayerful.
If You are not ready emotionally for marriage please do not. venture into it

When Emeka broke the news to his parents that he planned to marry a Yoruba lady, they told him that he was a joker. That would never happen, they said flatly. Was there a scarcity of nubile damsels in Nnewi and its environs or in Anambra State and the entire Igboland that their son would travel across many rivers and many states to marry a Yoruba girl from Ijebu-Ode? Or, had the girl bewitched Emeka with “otumokpo” from Ijebu-Ode? She would not succeed, they concluded. Never!

Weeks after that, nothing was heard about the issue again. They assumed that the case had been closed. Emeka had come to his senses, they concluded. But had he?

Two months later, like a bad dream, Emeka brought up the issue of this Ijebu girl again! This time, his tone was firm. Despite the threats of the parents, he was not cowed. He was resolute to the point of obstinacy. Even the tears of his mother did not move him. His parents concluded their son was indeed under a spell.

When it became obvious, after many months of dialogue, pressure, threats, pleas, tears and quarrels that Emeka was hell-bent on marrying Lola, his parents grudgingly gave their consent, but the father warned that nobody should run to him if the marriage went awry. The father also refused to accompany him to Ijebu-Ode for the marriage rites, saying that as an elder, it was a taboo for him to travel far away from home. It did not matter that a few months before the marriage rites, he had travelled through Ijebu-Ode on his way to Lagos.

Not only his parents were against the marriage: Out of Emeka’s three brothers and two sisters, only his younger sister was on his side. But Emeka overlooked all that and went ahead with the marriage.

When Lola came into the family, it was obvious that she was not welcomed. She was just being tolerated. Matters were not helped by the fact that Emeka had recently relocated his architecture business from Lagos to Nnewi, to take advantage of the burgeoning building industry in the town. And even though he had built his own house, it was within the same compound where his parents lived. It was a large compound: All the four sons had their portions of land within the compound, even though two of them were not based at home.

Another handicap Lola had was language: Igbo was the language of the family, but Lola spoke only English and Yoruba. So, Lola began forcing herself to speak Igbo. Any time she uttered an Igbo word or sentence, people would laugh. But her determination and sense of humour impressed everyone. She also did something that nobody around her did: she curtsied or knelt down when greeting elders, especially her husband’s parents, no matter how hard they protested against such acts. That act and her accent marked her out as a Yoruba, which made people treat her like an egg and call her “Iyawo.”

Most mornings, Lola would go early to the quarters of her husband’s parents, greet them, tidy up their rooms and collect their clothes for washing. She would ensure that Papa and Mama had their meals. She asked her mother in-law to teach her how to cook all local meals. Mama was eager to teach her, and she learnt fast. Any time Papa or Mama complained of backache, rheumatism or fever, Lola ensured that they got medical treatment. Most evenings, she would spend some time with them, either alone or in the company of her husband, before retiring to bed. Her brother in-law’s wife sneered that she was shamelessly trying to buy love with her boot-licking tactics. But Lola was not bothered about that.

Less than a year after Lola came into the family, the music changed. Emeka’s parents, especially the father, never completed a sentence without mentioning “Iyawo.” He would tell anyone who cared to listen, including the wives of his other three sons, that if it was not for Iyawo, he would have long died.

Today, Lola speaks Igbo, or rather Nnewi, like a daughter of the soil. As far as Emeka’s parents are concerned, “Iyawo” can do no wrong. Even when Emeka complains about her before his parents, they will not let him finish before warning him never to do anything that will hurt that “peace-loving girl.”

Unknown to everyone, before Lola left her parents’ home, she fortified herself for any eventuality, having known that her husband’s family were not happy about the marriage. Her parents had also done all they could to dissuade her from marrying an Igbo man, but their words fell on her like water on the back of a duck. So she knew she had a major battle to face in her new home. Failure was not an option, for if the marriage failed or proved unhappy, her parents would give her the I-told-you treatment. Consequently, before leaving for Nnewi, she boiled herself in a pot of charm. Then, she etched the charm on her face, tongue and heart. The power in the charm was meant to automatically make anyone around her to like her. Anyone she smiled at or talked to was meant to be charmed by her.

What is the name of that charm and how much does it cost? The name of the charm is simple: Genuine LOVE for others. It costs nothing to buy. No medicine-man is needed to prepare or administer it. It has no overdose. Everyone can prepare it. Everyone can administer it: At home, in the office, on the street, in the market. Its result on people is magical. Nobody can resist its effect, including “wicked mothers in-law” and “impossible bosses.” Fortunately, it is available in all parts of the world: In Ijebu-Ode or Nnewi, Zaria or Ikot-Ekpene, New York or Kabul.

Brides and brides-to-be must realise that even though in-laws may seem difficult to deal with, they are human beings with flesh and blood. Parents – especially mothers – want to cling to their sons as long as possible. Parents are naturally suspicious and even envious of “an outsider” – who did not participate in bearing, nurturing and raising of their child – coming to take that child away. To them, the wife is a stranger who may have a selfish agenda to destroy the peace, unity and love existing in that family.

It is the duty of the wife not to breeze into the family with an antagonistic stance. Rather, she should reassure her in-laws – through her words and actions – that she has not come to “take away” their son and brother or to destabilise the family, but that she has come in – like a new baby born into the family – to increase the family’s love, peace, unity and happiness.

Everybody wants to be loved, appreciated and respected. When love is shown (over a period of time) to even untamed animals like the bear, leopard, chimpanzee, hyena, etc, they respond with friendliness. Human beings have the capacity to even respond better than animals when shown love.

The rule in all human relations is that you get what you give. If you smile a lot at people, you receive smiles. If you are cold to people, you receive coldness and more. If you love to help others, you receive help and love. Therefore, those who go about demanding and expecting love, care, and respect from others may get disappointed, but those who first give love, care, and respect to others usually receive them manyfold. Showing genuine love to others is a potent charm that works like magic.