I need you
I can't stop thinking about you
My heart wouldn't stop beating for you
I will travel to the moon
Even to Mars
To make right all my wrong
And to justify my love for you
With your name written loud in the sky

I want to be where you are
I want to be at the comfort of your inclination
I want to rest in the abyss of your heart
Where all secret unfolds
Where no lies survive but the truth

To the wonders that comes with the savour of your voice
To your magnificent stature that breaks rock like magma
I surrender my very self to your birth without debt
For my heart lives where your heart beat.

I am old wrinkled a little bit,
A woe brought by advancement,
My waist is thickened,
Belly sagged and breast flattened out from child birth.

That pleasure pain phenomenon,
Yet I still love my husband, my man,
My hero in my heart of hearts.
My love for him is cast in marble,
I heard he is running around with little nymphets,
Out of despise for me for I am old now.

To this nymphets with precarious ideas
O!
Husband to them you are a gold mine,
Whisking away what is mine.
To them you are an object of pleasure,
Stealing all that I treasure,
Your generosity is all over but I lack at home,
I nucleate with my children and my children's children, drawing energy and comfort from the new union.

Where is the ' I do' to be my wedded husband,
To be my love, to be my companion,
For younger for older,
lust was not in the contract.
How long shall my tears Salt this sorrow.......? Husband.

Like a wide fire
She spread her wings
With tears, fraction covered with smile
Why she wrote her heart on a sheet of paper
The red ink was nothing but a broken heart
Her voice lost on the cold spring even the breeze couldn't wave the heat
This is three month now
She still couldn't gather the inner strength
Her lifelong dream, her desire left her a stranger

Can she erased all emotion
Would words take her forward in cool formality
Unpleasant memory that need to be placed on the shelf in the back of her mind
But she need to move on anyway

He left no siege and cast his spell
How do I come to fruition
Her gaze slide to the ground with a nerves dance in her stomach like the flapping wings of a thousand butterflies
And it was as though a gray cloud had moved over her

But the tree still bear fruit she said trying to set herself free from all dimming cloud.........

Pulsating sweat dribble
Squirting semen from his penis, strew over her unclad body.

The night had been filled with an alacritious fulfillment of fantasy.

Nude bodies laying bare next to On another, protruding last thoughts of the pleasure shared before departure.

A fortnight had begun in bed with a stranger.
Unprotected sex the weary profit.

Tension tugs
Yanking in the weight of the world alongside.
Thoughts sprinting into action.

With each pound of his heart.
He pondered about his frivolous swings.

Eupeptic that he hadn't been infected, nor afflicted with so dreaded HIV virus, he cautiously searched for signs and symptoms.

Temperature rising,
A sore burning in the mouth,this became his dire reality.
The fear of the unknown his only companion.

Unable to live with doubt,
He summoned courage in a windbag like
odyssey.

moving swiftly towards the medical diagnosis center.

Across him was the way to the truth. A road of moving vehicles the only distance between HIV positive or negative.

Hope is a drying river
He couldn't hold reason
Turning back to starting point was the only decision made.

A soldier who escaped death in battle. May live to fight another day
Living with maybe was better than the truth today!

Sores in the mouth
Temperature rising
Irregular bowel movement.

Each morning, this thoughts were the circadian rhythm that awoke him.

Unable to live with this tremors, he submitted to reality's claims.

At the release of the results, he received the news that he was negative of the virus hiv but with another virus
You will have to be on medication and we advice you call your love one
You need to be admitted immediately if you have to survive this

Now the only one he has at the moment who will always be by his side was the one he left in the dark..........
Did he have a choice now?
I don't think so.
He gave the doctor her number and they called her

Your man is sick and he is at the point of death, you are the only one he can reach and your presence is needed urgently
They gave her the address

The memory awakens
Now she was lost in thought
Should I go or not?
Saying to herself
Mixtures of thought
But I have to see him even for the last time

After bath
She got dressed up
With a small black leather guess satchel bag
A combination of simplicity and emptiness
Her life was already up
As she exit the wooden door
She went straight to catch the train after highlighting the taxi

Now she was there with him in the hospital
He was sleeping with some breath of hours
Like his only remaining

His face looks so remorseful as though he truly let her down
Suddenly, some soft,
Unfamiliar emotion crept through her


A fiercely fury of martyrdom
It was akin to the pity she felt
What a wildlife
What a quest
This was when she was told of the faceless virus

And his sandy colored eyebrows raised
And she noticed they were a shade darker than his hair which looked bleached by the sun to the color of ripe wheat

She refuse to give the present awareness a moment of thought
As he called her by name
Mercy......
She gave a deaf ears
Going back to retrospect recandling those sweet moment
And she answered calling him by his name
Rapheal...

Will you forgive me?
Yes I did what was inhuman
I hurt your feelings so bad
I can't even face you
My conscience keep
Hitting me so hard
Maybe I deserve the result of my deeds
Maybe God can as well forgive
I had everything in you mercy
I had the woman
I had the human
I had the beauty
I had the most lovely heart
I had a giver
I had everything a man would have wanted for eternity
Please Rapheal it's okay
I don't want to cry now
I have had enough of my tears gone down the nile already
I don't think I need that now
I have forgiven you
I know in life things happen
But if one stand out of it alive
Then a smile could be at last
I shared the best part of me with you
You knew my past
I was becoming another Rapheal in woman
I was so used to you
That nothing else matters
And you just went blanked
You short the doors
You left me in a severe darkness alone raining tears

I forgive you Rapheal
But don't know how you going to make this work if you finally fine.

I will do all it takes as a man to win back your heart
I will love you till time stand still
I will dry those river
I will make them a play ground for you and our kids
You will cry no more
You proved to me how unique you are
A forgiven creation
A dear dare of the world
The only fact and fiction
You are more than a book to those who can read
My perfect perfection
Thank you for coming to my aid
You are welcome says mercy with a lighted smile like the new York New time magazine
Feeling so bright
A rib and the missing heart
All on the Vale of a union
And I wish they both find a perfect home walking through this memorable past together.

And the last time I heard from this two was on the TV
When they launched their forth charity home
It was indeed the imperfect making a perfect balance.

We spent years together in college
Unfortunately she took in and
That's was our second year in school
She is beautiful, caring, homely but a bit tempered
She loves me no doubt
And I loved her for real

When her dad heard about the pregnancy
Which I never denied
The anger in him knowing am still young and in college ends my year in jail....

I left my parent out of the scene
I took blames and tolerated the pain.
3weeks after, I was granted bail and was free to leave.

I left cool city, started my career in lagos state, though i was in touch with her, I even visited her when in labour and witnessed the birth of my daughter, we named her Joy.
I did my quota as a dad, though they are wealthy but I still send money for my daughters upkeep and the likes, I visited often with no one refusing me, not even the parent of my fiance,
cos they couldn't stand my positivity and zeal.

We didn't see each other for a year and 6 months, not even reaching her or my daughter, all avenue was blocked till after my service (nysc) and I got a call to come and carry my daughter because she is getting married the following week.
At this point I was surprised and not settled but I took courage, prayed to God, I told God I never rejected my wrong, and a child is not a curse but a blessing, help me Lord and don't let us starve.

I went for my daughter in cool city, enugu state, got back to lagos with my daughter in a single room apartment. On this note, she was three years old as at the time I brought her to lagos without my parent knowing I had a child.
The following week after much enquiry, I then choose a school for her, I took her there, paid all the requirement and she started school after the intake exams which she scored the highest.
My parents are base in abuja with my siblings, I was far from home and life after service was hell of a leather.

I was working with lead way assurance as a team head in the marketing department Victoria island branch.
life with my girl wasn't funny but she is strong, willed, smart and highly intelligent and she brings me joy knowing I have such a daughter.
I was in the office this glorious day, when I got a call from her school that she won the Unilever competition,
she will be awarded a scholarship they said, and will be paid some money because she will be the face of Unilever for four years because the competition holds every four years.

I went to the school four some documentation and everything needed was successfully processed.
I was paid #25million cash for my daughter,
as the new face of Unilever for four years after the scholarship, I went with Joy and at this point I couldn't wait for the next holiday to shock my parents with this whole story, especially with the secret of having a daughter they never knew or heard of.

And behold it was my daughters holiday, I had to take a month off to see my parent, after breaking the news, the whole building was quite and everyone was just coming to touch and hold Joy, they all started blasting me, you are wicked and heartless for keeping this away from us, they were all mad at me but family will always be family, the anger was just for few minutes and everyone was happy again.

One year after, I heard my baby mama had a divorce with the husband to be, no child and she begins to trouble me that she want to see her daughter, the daughter she threw out! Hmm mm
No troubles needed, I allowed my daughter to spend her holidays with her mum, and to some point, my daughter started pleading me to take back her mum as a wife, she pleaded and her mum pleaded.

Though I never had any date ever since we parted, and when I had a daughter, my focus and attention was on her alone.
Now I need your advice, going back to her wouldn't bring back the best of me cos I will always see her as someone else's wife despite the divorce and for my daughter, I will do anything to make her happy apart from taking life.
Should I take her back or look somewhere else?