I just could not resist sharing this. Can u imagine make e no
happen O!

God on voicemail ke?

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary
part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided
to install voice mail?  Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1

For French press 2

For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners
right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in
the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1

Jesus, press 2

Holy spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then
enter his social security # followed by the * sign.

(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code
666)

For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers,
3 - 16.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other
planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics. Our
computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and
call again tomorrow.

This office is now closed for the weekend to observe religious holiday.
If you are calling after working hours and need emergency assistance,
please contact your local pastor.

And if Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you
please get that for me?"

Thank you and have a heavenly day.

It means that our guy looked at the other man accross the table and said in yoruba language: Im a lagosian; where are you from? Luckily for him the man was also in the same shoe with him so he replied with a sigh of relief: Ah! You are my man! Im also from Lagos!

A Nigerian man living in Sweden decided to marry a Swedish
lady in order to be legally certified via resident status, but the
lady was not aware of this. She felt he really loved her. Anyway, seeing
that Nigerian men had a bad rap in that particular part of Sweden, our chap
decided to lie to the lady. He told her he was from Uganda.

Upon marriage, the lady came home one day and informed our man
that she had just met another Swedish lady who had married a
Ugandan and they must all have dinner together.

The Naija man was somewhat perplexed, although not perceptibly,
and wondered how he'd get out of this spot. He postponed and
postponed until he could do so no more.

Finally, the day came when they were to have dinner. The other
Swede came in with her Ugandan husband and they all sat at the
table.
Our Naija chappie was very quiet. "My own don spoil today" was
all he could think.

The two Swedish ladies, wanting their husbands to mingle,
being from the same homeland, asked them to speak to each other. "Hey! It's
not everyday you meet people from home.!" they admonished.

Our Naija man, being a man of great savvy, decided that he
would just speak Yoruba, and the guy would probably assume he was from
some part of Uganda where they spoke a different language. So looking
across the table he said: "Omo Eko ni mi. Ni bo lo ti ja wa?"

The fellow looked up at our friend. His eyes lit up as he
said: "Ah, o damo niyen! Omo Eko le mi nan! Eko o nii baje"

I've bn out of a relationship for 2yrs now and really need a sincere lady from 25&above for a relationship. Can I find one here? I'm 35,6ft tall and based in lagos. My email is ollaplenty@yahoo.com

I've bn out of a relationship for 2yrs now and really need a sincere lady 4rm 25&above for friendship that cld lead to something serious. Can I find one here? I'm 35,6ft tall and based in lagos. My email is ollaplenty@yahoo.com

Hi everyone! I'm new here. Hope im gonna have a nice time with ya.

welcome, babygirl. I'm new 2. hope it's goin 2 be interesting.