₦airaland Forum

Treasure17:
This life sha. One minutes, you are full of life, agile, having fun and within seconds you are helpless. It's well.

We are all in line for the shege banza life has in stock for all. The mother universe is not emotional, everyone will pass through shege whether you are a good person or not, rich or poor, young or old. If it isn't your turn yet, just enjoy the best of the moment.


###NothingLastsForever.

This guy will surely be the next governor of ogun state. Once a candidate is dragged for different allegations in Nigerian politics, that candidate ends up winning.

More like indirect campaign for the candidate by opposition.

This made me sad, he's still very young.

Krismas:
1. Reincarnation is not an advantage. Na scam
2. Nobody can help anybody to lift his/her karmic burdens. Its everyman for himself.
3. The child is not a higher soul. No soul is higher than another. If the child were evolved, he won't be reincarnating to begin with

Believe what you believed, "It's every man for himself" is the only correct statement of all you wrote.

The child came to help her mother repay some of her karmic debt. That was a higher soul who makes brief incarnation just to help her mother's soul to grow in some ways.

In the grand scheme of thing, it's all for the woman's soul evolution and development. Although it's humanly a painful experience.

"Na statistics we go chop?"

What will people say about you when you leave the mortal real to the land of the ancestors?

Adulthood is scam, return me to my innocent childhood days.

Kushites:
CAN YOU PEOPLE STOP TELLING THOSE WHO PASS AWAY TO "REST IN PEACE".

THIS IS NOT AN AFRICAN BELIEF.

THOSE WHO RETURN TO THE LAND OF THE ANCESTORS (WHAT CHRISTIANITY NOW MAKES YOU CALL "HEAVEN" ARE RETURNING HOME TO WHERE WE ALL CAME FROM.

We were alive THERE before deciding to come here for a brief experience.

THE Land of the Ancestors is A PLACE OF LIFE. LOVE. ABUNDANCE. FREEDOM. KNOWLEDGE OF ALL THERE IS TO KNOW, AND ETERNAL LIFE.

THERE IS NO "RESTING" IN THE LAND OF THE ANCESTORS.

YOUR PERFECT BODY THERE NEEDS NO REST, NO SLEEP, OR EVEN FOOD, UNLESS YOU JUST WANT TO EXPERIENCE THAT.

THE YOUNG MAN WHO PASSED AWAY HAS PUT HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS IN TERRIBLE GRIEF.

His decision to drive that car in anger without experience was a terrible mistake.

MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES TO THE BEREAVED.

Awaken soul...
You captured this so perfectly. If only people knows, departure from this mortal realm should be celebrated instead of been mourned.

shenaxy:
The man can cry well, he always play the role of a person in penury. Never enjoyed good things in movies

He's not the actor you presume, elegbeje ado mostly play traditionalist roles in movies. The man you are referring to is slim, but the kinda facially look alike.

Dem don start... chest beating.

Have one in Oyo town, 6 acer, completely fenced with farm house. No poultry house or anything. Indicate your interest and offer per annum.

My kind of man, weldone baba.

I am doing what my own father did and handed down, he record the true events of happenings in his diary and handed us the diary to read when we grew up. No blame-game, Just real acceptance of rights and wrongs.

So i am writing down my life events as well, to be handed down to my kids. They can do whatever they like with what is written there-in.

Obi would be worst president than Tinubu... Sentiment aside, every successive government is worst than the previous since 1999.

Our political, economic and moral foundation has been wrong since 1960. Brace up for a tough future as a Nigerian irrespective of who is elected the next president.

OlujobaSamuel:
Hello, pls are you a lawyer??
I've been seeking for something like this for a while, can you pls make a thread on it, if yes, kindly do and tag me.
Thanks

Seconded,
@Olujobasamuel, kind enlighten us more on this. You can make it a thead.

nihinlade:
This Yayi of a guy, like distributing things to people. But governance is not about distributing this and that. I hope he will do well infrastructurally. Lagos needs technocrats as governor not another core politician. Check Lagos' history, those that performed were all technocrats not politicians.

Yayi is currently representing Ogun west district. He is from Yewa. The best man for the job as the next ogun state governor if you ask me. He has learnt from the Lagos blueprint and i believe that no candidate stand close to him for the next APC primary in ogun state right now.

Not looking so good.
Why facing camera with this look?

Hallucinations are allowed, we shall be here in the coming days to see if your assertion is true.

But in the meantime, make yourself happy.

Keep going with your strategy sister...
Don't listen to them feminist ooo

iwaeda:
Tinubu is still not beyond 2027.

That's a joke right? Not with what we are seeing on ground.

2027 election will be interesting.
Uncle BAT is already carrying the opposition a 2:0 handicap even before election starts.

What is now the hope of common man hoping and begging for change to our awful condition as a nation?

This nearly makes me cry, no soul deserves to endure the cruelty of life like this.

Do not rejoice yet.
No be this government? Like a devil, giving with one hand and taking with the other.

Dizzyyish:
An interesting comment:

Women don't leave unless you're crushed. They'll leave u if you're feeling worse than they are(crushed in spirit) Whether life has u down & depressed or they themselves have torn you down,(a fight for example) they will leave once they have brought u lower than them. Like a finishing move, witnessing her enemies'  complete destruction.
Psychotic, yes. But it's how emotional they are. If ur not strong enough to deal with them (& their crap) then ur not strong enough to keep them and make them look up to ur as "their man." Put it this way: "Women don't leave UNTIL you're crushed."

Women's minds are wired differently than ours & they have certain perceptions about men, and if we break those perceptions then we break whatever makes them want to be with us.
If a woman thinks a guy doesn't need her, then she is more likely to stick around. But if you ever say something to a woman like "I can't live without you", then that is the beginning of the end and she'll eventually leave. They always have to think that you can live without them. Women will forgive a guy that hits them, long before they forgive a guy who is weak.

All hail the prof. (Dizzyyish), professor of women behavioral pattern studies.
This is a very interesting read bro, only men who have see women shege would understand the hidden knowledge in this write ups. Permit me to archive this for the future.

Abeg where be your location bro? Make i send you one bush meat make you take do pepper soup.

Odogwu 👍

The man wan dey chop egusi, ogbono and vegetable soups at the same time.

pansophist:
odiegwu

Your story reminds me of my uncle that is currently divorced and refused to remarry. He has four kids, and the wife disappeared with them, for over five years.

But due to the love he has for his children, he keeps sending money and paying their school fee, even if he doesnt know where they study.

Until one day, his first son about 15 years old, who understands what is happening, got his father's number through his mums phone and called him secretly, giving him intel about their location.

Then he arranged and travelled all the way to Anambra from lagos to pick them all up, sadly, he could retrieve only three out of his four kids. The fourth child was with the mum when he came.

The first son now acts like a woman. Having a sissy character, and so petty. Woman character don enter him body. The lack of masculine figure in the boys life really messed them up.

I am saying this because you have two boys, and boys must grow with men. A woman cannot raise a man. masculinity is forged, and being male doesnt make one masculine.

If your sons grow up in such a feminized home, chances are, they will grow to be individuals that are the opposite of what you want your son to be.

For your boys to be listening to women conversations, under their sole control, which carries the risk of being indoctrinated to hate you is a bad recipe. It doesnt always ends well.

Please take this serious, I do not know how you will do it, but you must have influence over the upbringing of your sons.

Thank you for your good observations bro, my children would not be left to her care for long bro. I will pick them up in 2yrs time. Then, my last son would have been 6yrs old and i can legally claim their custody.

Meanwhile, i am using this 2yrs window to plan things that will make their lives comfortable. Court will always be after the welfare of the children, and the partner who has the best to give the children always wins custody (No sentiment). I also have an advantage that they are boys so it will be a plus to my argument for their custody along side better welfare.

However, that is if they have not voluntarily dropped the kids for me before the 2yrs. They voluntarily returned the kids of their last born to her husband after taken care of them for a year plus, they were tired of their expenses so i can only hope they will do the same for me.

Last time i was at my children school for their birthday, my first born was reporting that his mummy was suggesting whether the kids would like to be going to school where their father lives. That tells me something.

samuelson06:
You can't work and pay your remaining school fees. You'll certainly be broken beyond repair. In fact, your plan will collapse. Don't forget, you are only allowed to work 20 hrs weekly. Also, there are no jobs to easily walk in and start working. At the end of the month, you may not be able to save up to £500. Keep in mind there'll be no post-study visa for you in the UK. That means you'll likely migrate to another country after your studies. In fact, don't consider UK. Look elsewhere. If possible, find scholarship opportunities.

I think that another factor you should consider is the influence of AI five years from now. Already, people are struggling with getting jobs. AI is seriously displacing lots of people from their jobs—NOT just IT jobs. Right now, no one is regulating its development and in few years, its influence on the labor market is going to be massive—negatively though. Organizations would always prefer to make more money, replacing people with machines where possible. As the AI continues to create unemployment, countries will begin to focus only on their citizens for jobs. You'll be forced to come back home, or remain a slave over there. You won't be able to make any serious money and you'll pay house rent all your life. Don't forget, you will likely have dependence/family given five years from now. Think!

Coming back to Nigeria, I'd say the country isn't encouraging right now but it's our country nonetheless. You can always find a way around sh!t here than over there. I'd encourage you invest that money here. Take some and buy a land, use the remaining to go into production, especially in the area of agriculture. Do your thing little by little and keep growing. Get a supportive woman to join you and keep growing. The world is growing wild and if you're not from money, it'll be very hard for you to become so rich. However, you can create a stable life that'll ultimately shield your family from lack. That's better than thinking your children would always get a job where you live because there'll always be jobs. Look, a time is coming that even football won't be profitable.

Start building for yourself and unborn family today, forget about this idea of looking for a job. The insecurity crisis in Nigeria is a government thing. Once the government changes, it will go with them.

May the oil of wisdom on your head never run dry.
Wish i can buy you a bottle of chilled stout.

Oldhead:
Big bros, this your experience ehn, really choke.
The red flag has always been there , maybe you didn’t notice it, or maybe you did and thought you could handle it in the long run. Perhaps your first mistake. I’ve always told my guys, even if you just met a lady today, and you spot a red flag, no matter how beautiful she is, cut her off immediately. The mistake that we men mostly make is wanting to prove that we are men and can handle women’s bs and form maturity , Then it spirals beyond something that we can contain as time progresses, then we lose our frame and become emasculated.

Second mistake is over looking the power dynamics at play at the home your wife grew up, seems to me like the mother was in control and ran it like a military camp. women like that always want to raise thier daughters to be like them in marriage. And the foolish daughters always think all her ill advices comes from a place of motherly love , not knowing that the agenda here is to make sure that thier own marriage too is not as successful because misery love company. How can three daughters , previously married , end up living with thier mother ? Coincidence? or a crazy pattern?. Just glad to see that you’re optimistic and looking foward to a great future

Honestly, i look for red flags in our courting years but i couldn't find any on her part. She was my coursemate in the university and we got together from the 100L so i had all the time to study her.
She was sweeter then, understanding and caring. She was even the churchy type, she would occasionally call me Omo Eshu (Devils child 😀), because, you know now, boys no get time for church stuff. How the care disappeared after marriage is what i couldn't fathom.

However, you were right about your second paragraph. Because the woman runs the house, she is obviously richer that her husband. But i was never opportuned to study them. I lived in oyo state at the time and they are based in Lagos. So even during holidays, i really never visited this babe in their home until we were ready for introduction.

JoeEeL:
U are an example of what it means for a man to waste his life in marriage. Imagine u were never married and kept reinvesting in ur businesses, u will be able to fund trips to beaches and resorts in other african countries, date their girls or even take any 9ja babe with u just for temporary fun.

If too costly, u can take trips to resorts or nice hotels and restaurants in nigeria here. And ur money would be really passive. In fact u could partly retire in ur early 40's while those doing marriage and yeye love will have to keep working their finger to the bones even to their 60's and 70's. Blind emotion is what makes men fall into this obvious trap where the odds are grossly against them!

U are a prime example why I have declined to marry. I know this is my end if I marry. That need, that primordial need men simply have to just put woman for house is not very logical. And if u cant do without it, postpone it to ur late 30's or early 40's when u don balance well, and toss them around and change them like the tissues they are. They never come into the life of a man to build him anyway... so whats the fuss about them?

Truth well told bro, you see why i refer to myself as "a big foo*l" in my write up. Man just got himself entangle just to proof to the society that he's responsible. Not anymore, now i live for myself and my children. I still plan to retire at 40 or 42 from active hustle bro, travel round the world, write my will or put my worth in trust for my boys.

Kennatic:
There's nothing as painful as being in a marriage and still feel lonely. I'm sorry for everything you went through, I cringed reading your story cos I don't think I have that kind of energy, I would have long abandoned the marriage and ran. I have decided that in this short life of ours, one thing I cannot allow anyone tamper with is MY " PEACE of MIND" cos a lack of it can make a man age quicker or lose himself.

I am very new in the marriage venture, 3 years in it, a son and another baby on the way dropping any time soon. As a matter of fact I have learnt in these 3 years what can last me a lifetime. She's a great friend, a wonderful woman and wife and understands my personality to the last, so she knows how to act around me and I treat her well too with lots of love and respect. The only thing I just need is plenty of God's blessings and uncommon favour. At the moment things are not so good like I'd want but it's a phase that'll pass.

In all my peace of mind is 1000% intact, in fact she overdoses me with it. If there's anything to go wrong it would come from me and she knows that.

My personal opinion is that we knew what these women are even before we married them, just that at the early stages it's all butterflies so decision making tends to be a bit emotional and then in marriage the real nature of everyone comes to light. A good woman who listens to you, understands you, values you becomes even better and so it is for a good man.

I wish your boys a happy birthday and my Guuuuuuuy Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee enjoy your peace cos you deserve it after the shege you endured, Me?, I go don run sinceeeee cos I no get extra strength, I dey conserve my energy.


In marriage we learn DATING AND MARRIAGE aren't the same, it's about sacrifices from both parties and a return of energy.

I wish you the very best Gee

Things will be better for you shortly bro, rough patches in life are inevitable. We've all been there and the more wins we record, the rougher the next patches becomes.
But if you are lucky with a good woman like your wife, a woman who urges you to keep moving, then the world is yours to conquer.

kushme:
Mehn, this your experience carry too much weight, we can't lift it. From what you wrote, classism was at play.
The mother said she would never come to mainland(reason, it is far). The fact is, she never wanted you to marry her daughter, part of why they gave you unreasonable wedding list. If it was a weathy family who are based in Abj the daughter got married into, Abj wouldn't be that far from momma's house on the Lagos island.

I think it is sad to say this; your enstranged weekend wifey never loved you in the first place. It was about the wedding to her, not the marriage. She couldn't cook for you when you were sick, never cared to ask you for once, how are you doing". Well, even the sisters who stayed back on the island close to mama are all back home to mama like your weekend wifey. So, the pattern speaks for itself. It would be very questionable to blame all three sons in-law for the return of three sisters back home. The controlled and the uncontrolled all lost their wivies to momma, simple.

If they truly accepted you from the beginning, the renting of apartment on the island or mainland wouldn't be an issue.
You are welcome bro, vent oh, sometimes it is needed. Eh dey ease burden on mind. And Happy bithday to your kids.

Hoooo mheen, everything you said is true bro. If the mother inlaw wants her daughters out of wedlock, who am i to stick to the marriage, knowing fully that it's a battle i can't win.
Sometimes being a good man is not enough, some elements of luck dey inside this marriage stuff. For now, my life and peace of mind matters than pleasing the society and old on to a bad marriage.
And Thanks you for wishing my boys Happy Birthday, God bless you.