₦airaland Forum

Sue them for wetin. Does he has a copyright for it?. Or does nairaland has a copyright for his writers on this forum?. Try your luck sha.

Gbengem: Bravo oniha8y, nice write up infact u deserve a cup of zobo.

Looolz. thanks

Onemansquad: Weldone onihaxy more grease 2 ur elbow ...waitin 4 d next epic

Thanks bro

Paul and his friends got to the baba. His house was an ancient house with feathers and horns plugged into every walls. Smell of pigeon and fowl bloods were all over the compound. On getting to the door, his friends knocked and baba opened the door from inside. He welcomed them and told them to sit down on the mat. Inside the room was a white and red cloth hanged on the wall like a plasma TV. Calabash was placed on the ground, an ancient lantern was placed on the calabash and the baba was holding a horn. Paul was scared and worried on seeing all this things but his friends calmed him down and telling him that there is no going back and there would be no problem. His friends turned to baba and started a conversation.

FRIENDS: baba, good afternoon.
BABA: my children, how are you?
FRIENDS: baba we are fine ooo.
BABA: I can see that on your faces. How is work going?
FRIeNDS: work is fine and everything is fine. Thanks to you bABA.
BABA: ***smiled*** don't thank me, thank the gods, they performed everything, I'm only a messenger
FrIeNDS: thanks to the gods oooo.,
BABA: **smiled***
FRIENDS: here is our friend. ** pointing to paul***, he is a childhood friend, he had been in lagos for the past 3years with no job.
BABA: whaaaat, 3years?, and you can't bring him here all this while
FRIENDS: don't mind him baba, he wasn't interested at first because of religion.
BABA: ***smiled and facing paul*** my son, what is your name?
PAUL: paul
BABA: you see my son, religion doesn't hinder you from divine assistance from people that are closer to the gods. Both muslims and christians visits us here for counselling. If you noticed the man that went out just now, he is a pastor of a popular church here in lagos.

FRIENDS: we told him the same thing baba and he doesn't listen.
BABA: don't worry, today that he visited my temple, there would be instant solution. Let me contact the gods first to know what will work with his destiny.
FRIENDS: ok baba

Baba told paul to bring out any amount and speak to it. Paul did exactly what he was told and returned the money to baba. Baba faced the graved image beside him, he made incantations and chants to appease the gods, finally, the gods responded and its only baba that heard it. Paul and his friends were watching in a clueless manner.

BABA: the gods of my forefathers, here is paul before you, he wanted to get good jobs in this lagos and he decided to visit you for assistance.

gods: my servant, you see that boy, we have been haunting him for a long, and we are so happy today that he fell into our trap. Its time to deal with him.

BABA: haaaa!, the gods of my fore fathers, what happend?

gods: you see, while he was on campus, he wagged war against us and sent us packing. He loosed all the prey we tied, he performed many miracles, he healed the people we made blind, he healed the sickness we placed on people. And do you know the worst part?

BABA: gods of my forefathers, I'm listening.

gods: he delivered almost all the young girls that we possessed to sleep with young undergraduates and siphoned their destinies through sex. So this time, we are going to deal with him severely.

BABA: so what do I do my fathers?

gods: give him "tamotiye" soap and lotion to use. This will take his God's eyes away from him while we take our time to suffer him more afflictions.

BABA: ok gods of my forefathers. Thank you very much. I know that you will always help me.

FRIENDS: baba, what did the gods said?.
BABA: the gods said he would get a good job within the next 2 months.
PAUL: ***happy**** thank you sir.
BABA: you are welcome my son. Your friends are my son. So I will do anything fatherly to help you.
PAUL: thank you baba.
BABA: I will give you a soap and a lotion. You should be using the soap to bath everyday and always apply the lotion after bath. Its will make favour locate you whenever you went for any test or interview. I'm very sure you will be selected and employed. And watch out, you would be called for miracle job any moment from now.

PAUL: thank you sir
FRIENDS: thank you baba. Please take this 10,000 and use it to buy kola.
BABA: thank you my son.

Baba handed over the "tamotiye" soap and lotion to paul and they departed from baba.

************************************
Paul got to lagos, he stayed with his friends who were working with big firms and were living together. One of his friends earns 120k while the other earns 135k respectively. Paul thought he could get job as soon as possible, but he doesn't go beyond aptitude test level ever since he had been applying for job in lagos. 6 months went by and paul hadn't gotten any job. His two friends tried to fix him in their different workplaces but it still doesn't work out. Paul continued praying and hoping on God for a job but each time he prayed, he always heard a silent voice saying "wait!!!!, the appointed time is near". He was convinced in his heart that soonest, he would get a job.
18months went by, paul was still in lagos without getting any job. He decided to increased the duration of his fasts and prayers. He even went to the mountain to pray but he was still given the same word of "wait!!!!, the appointed time is near. Paul's friends were getting fed up of feeding him with their salary for over a year. One of them suggested that they should take paul to the baba that always assist them whenever they have spiritual problems or any problem, paul was angry on hearing this "whaaaaaat, a whole me? Servant of the most high God?, follow you guys to an herbalist?, Never!!!!" Paul yelled at them and walk away into his room.
The friends were beginning to be tired of paul. One of them vowed never to drop a single kobo for paul again since he isn't ready to help himself. The other friend went inside the room to meet paul and talk to him.
"Paul, you see, this man gave us divine favour soap that we used to bath and it helped us in getting jobs in time. We aren't telling you to do rituals, neither are we telling you to offer or carry any sacrifice, we understand how religious crazy you are. But God doesn't go against assitance, don't you hear the general saying of *heaven help those who help themselves?*, see let me tell you, we also attend churches and at the same time, we meet prophets to assist us in reaching to God faster, and that is why we wanted you to follow us to meet this man. He is going to help you ..........bla....bla....bla." The other friend continued convincing paul but at the end of everything, paul rejected the idea.
The following week, the other friend who vowed not to drop a kobo fulfilled his vow, he would spend a lot outside, branched at eateries to eat and only comes home to sleep. The other friend began to complain of been the only one to provide for the house. Paul was getting hurt inside of him as his previous good friends are suddenly turning against him.
Weeks later, the other friend also stopped providing for the home and paul was left alone to survive on his own. He decided to walk across the street one day and he saw vacancy for a sales boy at a provision shop. He decided to apply for it just to have a means of income. The shop owner told paul that she would be paying 5,000naira and he agreed without hesitating. On getting home, he told his friends that he had gotten a small job, they asked about it and he told them everything. They both laughed and mocked him. "So you prefer 5k compared to the 135k and 120k we both earn respectively?" One of his friends said while mocking him. "Won't you rather follow us to somewhere where you would be assisted and get favour"?. The other said. Paul felt sad and walked away.
Paul started his sales boy job and still continued hoping on God for a turnaround. He was tired of praying alone and he decided to visit the pastor of the church he attends in lagos for prayers. The pastor said the same thing to him that his appointed time is near. If only he could be patient on God. After 6months of working as a sales boy, he had faced enough insults and humiliation from his employer. At home also, his friends weren't contributing. They both eat outside and only comes home to sleep. And paul isn't ready to leave lagos and return to his parents. He just had this belief that he would get a nice job in lagos.
After 3years and 8months of staying in lagos, paul sat down and began to think. He envied the luxurious lifestyle his friends were living. He wish he could have a 6 digit salary job and ride cars like his friends, but he isn't ready to meet any baba for help. "Me?, baba?, never!!!, I will never compromise my God" paul said in his heart.
At shop in the following week, paul's employer had went out and mini thieves came to steal items worth 60,000 in the shop while they were buying things. Paul was unaware until his employer returned and find out that goods were missing. He was seriously cursed and insulted by his employer who doesn't believed that the shop was robbed. She believed paul sold the goods and kept the money. Paul was slapped , arrested and sacked from the shop. He went back home after been released from the police station and began to cry about his frustrated life. His friends persuaded him again to give baba a trial and look out for tremendous change in his life. This time, paul agreed after many considerations
**********************************

Ok

akereconfi: smh

You sef take style claim front seat

No other news or stories to make frontpage again on nairaland apart from EBOLA?

Paul wanted to fulfil righteousness and be holy to God, his girlfriend he loved so much was out there feeling lonely and bored. Paul was confused on how to balance his spiritual life with his emotional life. He wish he could make eunice happy but he doesn't know how to go about it. He was already back to his spiritual stand with God. He wish he could make eunice spiritually fit like himself but it was always impossible. He couldn't leave eunice because he loved him so much and the love was hindering him from thinking straight. He keeps hearing this two contradicting voices about Eunice. One voice will tell him to quit, another voice will tell him to hold on to eunice. He couldn't tell which of them is of God and of Demons.
After struggling with thoughts, paul decided to consult a spiritual leader for a divine insight on his situation. He knelt down and he was prayed for. After 18mins of prayer, the spiritual leader told paul that he wasn't compatible with eunice, they are two opposite character and it wasn't God's chosen. Paul tried to let the pastor realises how he often dream about her and how a voice always spoke to him about eunice, but the pastor repeated it again that eunice was a wrong choice, the only solution is to quit. Paul was shocked. "How do I go about quitting with the girl I loved with all my heart?, I need to go on to God personally for confirmation" paul thought.

The following week, eunice's attention was shifting gradually from paul. Even at school, she wasn't fond of staying around paul again like before, she was always seen chating on her phone and laughing out alone at intervals. Paul wasn't getting comfortable with this latest development, he decided to go on a 3 days fast and prayer to get a confirmation about eunice.
3days into the fast, he had a dream and saw himself sitting infront of a house containing maidens. He came there to pick a wife, Eunice was in rags coming out of the room looking dirty and smelling. Then someone called her back and told her " see that guy out there (pointing at paul), he wants a clean woman as wife. Take this clean cloth and perfume to cover yourself so that he would pick you." Eunice immediately sprayed the perfume and wore the clean with cloth, she washed her face and she appeared good looking. On getting outside, paul was carried away by the outward look without taking a look at the inward appearance and he immediately picked eunice and left for the aisle. Along. The road to the aisle, wind was blowing and eunice's good looking dress was about to be blown open by the wind, then eunice told paul. "Dear, I don't want you to see me until we get to the aisle. Let me tie this little cloth on your eyes and I will hold your hands to lead you till we get to the aisle". Paul agreed and his face was covered.
Eunice held paul's hand as the walk along, on their road. They met another dirty young man eunice immediately held the man with her left hand and the 3 were walking along while paul was blindfolded to notice the latest development and also, he couldn't see people waiving at him to stop and see his new company. Paul woke up immediately and started sweating. He picked his bible and began to pray. This time, he held a voice clearly with any hindrance saying "paul, paul, paul!!!, she is not your woman!!!!".
Paul took the boldness and courage to open up to eunice and broke up with her, telling her it was an instruction from God. The both cried for days. Few days later, eunice finally cheered up and sticked to valentino. NYSC ended, paul travelled to lagos to stay with one of his friends who promised to help him with a job. At lagos, another problem happened to paul........

Bad market for GNLD

Oga jonah. This fresh air too much na. #GEJ till rapture comes

Eunice got back to her room, closed up the door and began to cry, she would check her skin over and over again every minutes hoping to see leprosy on her spotless skin, she switched of her phone and neither paul nor valentine was able to reach her, after hours of crying, she thought of it that it would be better for her to go to paul and confess her sins maybe paul would be able to pray to God on her behalf.
The next day in school, Eunice was sad and scared of relating her sins to paul. Paul also was wondering what could have went wrong with eunice because the sad look was obvious on her face. After closing for the day, Eunice followed paul to his apartment. On getting inside, eunice began to cry, paul was worried about what could have happened. He pulled eunice closer and said "whatever it is, please stop crying and tell me about it please. Eunice minimised her crying after several pleas and cuddling. She took the boldness to start a conversation. "Paul, you see, ehhhhmm, I don't know how to say it, ehhhhm" eunice was stammering. "Pls just say it in any way you can please" paul whispered silently.
" Ehm paul. I know it is not morally and religiously right to say this, you know, we are humans, though I am religious but not up to your level, you know..........." Eunice was beating around the bush.
"Eunice, please just hit the nail at the head"
Paul said.
" Ehm paul, atimes, I used to have this feelings of kissing you, holding you tight, feeling your heartbeat, laying my head on your chest but..............................." Eunice began to cry again. Paul pulled her closer, wiped her tears and looked into her eyes. "Eunice my love, don't speak further, I knew what you wanted to say, I just don't want to jump at it. "Really, eunice was nervous, thinking that holy spirit had revealed to paul about her lovemaking with val.......", paul replied " yes dear, I understand how you feel, I felt your pain. The truth is that the pain is mutual, I'm not also comfortable here. Doing all these things you said isn't a problem to me. But my main problem is that it would give me sexual arousal and urges which will make us thirsty to have sex. And you still remembered the vow?". Eunice nodded.
"So eunice, I just felt it would be better not to perceive the aroma of the food we can't eat. I told God to strike us with leprosy and epilepsy any moment we have sexual intercourse, and I'm not ready to face God's wrath". Eunice's heart beats faster on hearing about the vows again, she became restless and asked "you mean when YOU and I having sex?" Paul replied "Yes". She asked again, you mean "YOU and I?", paul replied again "YES, is there any problem"?. "NO" said eunice.
She hugged paul and felt relieved inside of her with the thoughts that since it wasn't between paul and her, she was save. Paul also cuddled her and promised to be romantic in a moderate way that won't raise any sexual urge.
Eunice returned home with relieve in her heart. She switched on her phone and saw 15 apology texts from valentine. 3 days later, she forgave val and they resumed their intimate friendship, val was surprised that eunice no longer resist him again whenever its time to make love...............................

oluwashedy: Onihaxy, i can't believe u could start up a wonderful thread lyk dis wifawt informing me

No vex bro. It wasn't on sexuality section, that's why it didn't get enough publicity

VC Adekunle Ajasin University Akungba

Weeks after weeks, months flies, they were struggling with their sexual urges anytime they are together. They would engaged in kissing and romance, but when the got to love making mood. Something will strike bro paul's heart like thunder and reminding him of his pledge and vows, and the urges would die down immediately. When paul realises that he was only punishing himself with the romance of a thing. He decided to put and end to every romance and kisses. He decided to remain on holy hugs until they are married. Gradually, paul was getting back to his spiritual stand. He now prays regularly and also studies his bible. Eunice wasn't getting comfortable with paul again, she isn't getting the pleasure and emotional attention she always wished for, but she had no choice than to wait and be patient since she isn't ready to loose paul.
3months to the end of NYSC, eunice impatient grows into maturity and she decided to seek comfort in the arms of valentine who happens to be one of her toasters who eventually became her friend. They began to get intimate within the twinkle of an eye, eunice began to find valentine interesting and lively because he would always discuss and say dirty things she wanted to hear, with time, she reduced her visitation to paul and increased her visitation to valentine, since paul was more concerned about spiritual growth and less about emotions and romance, eunice's attention of hanging out was now on val. "I will keep paul for marriage and keep val for friendship" eunice said to herself.
2months to the end of NYSC, eunice and valentine began to have romance, but each time they were about to move on to love making, eunice was always scared of the vow she and paul made together, and she would always cry and resist. She always wanted to have fun but she wasn't ready to suffer leprosy and epilepsy. After several resistances, val decided to get what he wanted in a hard way. He drugged eunice's drink and eunice became weak and went unconscious. Valentine had his way and made love to eunice. When eunice became concious, she realised what valentine had done to her and she began to cry. Valentine tried to comfort her but he got a slap in return as eunice walked out in tears.....

..................Continues.
Bro paul started drowning spiritually into the ocean of eunice's touch. Every moment, bro paul would go on his kneels and cry to God for forgiveness, only to fell back on eunice laps weeks later. His prayer and devotion life began to reduce drastically to the extent that he doesn't read bible again frequently like before. (That is the power of woman I must say, behind the downfall of most spiritual leaders are woman of easy virtue who knows how to manipulate them to get what they wanted).
Paul began to struggle with his spiritual life. He began told hear strange voices and found it difficult to identify the voice of the holy spirit from that of the devil, one voice will say "paul! Paul! Paul!!!, leave that woman alone, she is going to destroy you!!!. Then another one will say, paul! Paul! Paul!!!, he who finds a wife has found a good thing and obtains favour from ME. Do not loose her because she will make a good wife with her cool and nice attitude!!". He loved eunice so much because eunice seems to posses everything he wanted in a woman, the sexual intercourse is just the problem with this two lover birds. At one moment, they will pray and cry to God not to indulge in immorality again. At another moment, they are both back to the bed. "This must be the devil's trick" bro paul thought. He decided to take a great risk that involved his life. After so many failed attempt to flee immorality, he called eunice into his room one evening, he went on his kneels and told eunice to do the same. He told her about his decision to finally quit sex until marriage, though eunice wasn't feeling comfortable with the decision, she enjoys sex but she isn't ready to loose paul simply because paul is a God fearing man who loves God and also cared for her, eunice believed that she can't be maltreated by paul and believed paul will always be there to help in times of prayers and sacrifices. She pretended to be cool with the "no more sex" decision with the mindset that paul would still fall back on her laps.
Paul held her hands, they both closed their eyes and paul started praying and crying for forgiveness. After 15 minutes into the prayer, bro paul made a strong vow to God on behalf of the lover birds and he said, "oh lord, any day WE decided to engage in sexual again, may WE be strike with leprosy and epilepsy instantly!! AMEN". Eunice was shocked to the extent that her heart almost burst out of her chest, she removed her hands and stood up, she refused to say Amen to it and she frowned her face and telling paul how she felt bad because she wasn't consulted before making the leprosy vow. Paul walked to her, held her and comfort her, he made her to see reasons for his vows and promised to be there for her in everything. He made her realised that the delay in sex will hasten his urges for it and will help to fast track his marriage preparations. Eunice thought for a while, she enjoyed love making but she never wanted to loose paul due to his God fearing and cool headed attitude. She agreed with paul and they both resumed to continue the prayers......................

Teespice: There are girls who pay for their monthly subscription out of their pockets.

Just because you have met greedy ones doesn't give you the right to make baseless statements.

Next time that girl asks you for airtime for internet subscription, stamp your feet down and say no. The world won't end if you don't acede to her request.

Smh.

Ok madam

Nollywood never fails to disappoint us. With the likes of:
Kukere babes.
Azonto babes.
Skelewu babes.
Eminado queens. Etc
Here is another block buster............. Dorobucci girls. Grab your copy and enjoy it

Show me an undergraduate who bought her smartphones and pays monthly subscription with her own money or by her parents and I will tell you who is not a potential runs girl

Drinking beer doesn't makes you forget your worries, it only makes your sense of reasoning dormant temporarily
---onihaxy

Ebola infected cloth?, I'm out!!!

Get infected with ebola.

Lobatan