₦airaland Forum

@Chaircover
That is exactly what I did he called yesterday and I picked and he wanted to start explaining and I just said forget it and went on gisting same this morning now I've tied gele ma wobe incase u r not yoruba meaning dont look there. Que Sera Sera Whatever would be would be. I was concerened about her coz I did not want to be taking for a ride. I'm enjoying the ride so far anyway Thanks for your advise.
@all replies
thanks

@Chaircover Harakiri, Chika98, Callme, Xandy84, Nikkykay and Deli.cious
Thanks for your coments I know I am not dictating. He has an ex who is in Naija on his facebook and I did not ask him to delete her. He said the ex in question was sending him texts and emails on yahoo and fb cursing and abusing him and dat he would have changed his number if not for d fact that some pple wont be able to reach him. That was when I said ok block her off your yahoo and delete her from your Fb then and dont read the texts and he said fine I'll do just dat.
After a while I told him I would be relocating to Nigeria and he told me a thousand and one reasons that it was not worth it but I told him I've made up my mind about it. Some weeks after he said she sent her a mail on FB begging and threatening him that was when I said but I thought u said u were going to block her so u dont get her messages.

@Chaircover
I know love is a gamble and I'm gambling but I want to be sure that I'm betting on something right so I don't come back to nairalander nagging and then Aunty Chaircover will now scold me asking me if I did not see d warning signal b4 . U r right living in the UK doesn't automatically make me the best wife material he can ever get but I'm a gd wife material

@Moralist
He's 3 yrs older I pray I'm blessed with someone like me as I am faithful, fair and disciplined.

The Best

@Ujujoan
;DI'm laughing here ooooo I wish for a milloniare billonaire sef but when I no see now wetin I go do my Dister

@Ujujoan
Without even paying for d cake sef

@Moralistli
Gbam u did hit d nail on d head
Wonderful!!!
Only few 9gerian ladies fall in dis category when it comes 2 relatnship stuff, Sounds like my grand mama way way back,
If u really sure dat u neva nurtured plan B in dis regard, then your problem is half solved. And i shall explain in detail later still waiting

The Best

@Ujujoan
Thanks oooo my Sister u understand my plight so there's no need for me to talk too much

@Moralistli
Thanks I'm waiting

@MzD@rkSkin
Thanks

@Ujujoan
Thanks I was begining to think I was thinking irrationally

@Jaybee
I hear

@Amefi
I said I am better of not that I mean to be derogatory or rude but bcoz I'm trying to paint a clear picture here if he was better off in Naija than I am in the UK then I would relocate to Naija that's what I'm trying to explain. I don not have a pre-concieved and pre-determined psyche if I was I would not have accepted to date him since I knew his location I'm just trying to be careful and use my head and not be blown away by feelings or emotions

@Nikkykay
U got me thinking u might be right but I've not said anything to him about thinking he wants me as a way out of naija and never will. I guess i'll just back off this FB case then thanks Nikky

@Moralistli
Unfortunately dats d only area of my life dat I never had d nerve to hatch a plan B. I always have a planA,B,C for everything but in relationships am a 1 way traffic.

@Virus007
I no vex

@Amefi
Do u mean I wont get a trustworthy guy bcoz something is wrong with me or bcoz there are no trustworthy guys?

@Moralistli
U get my point. I am better off than him so I wont be relocating to Naija meaning he'll be relocating to the UK if things work out well and we decide to get married he'll then apply for a spousal visa. Something happend to some1 around me so I decided to re evaluate my relationship as I am settled in the UK and so is his ex I just started thinking if it was coincidence or he wants out of naija. U cant blame coz of what has happened to others and d recent case dat got me thinking dat was y I asked him to delete this particular girl I did not ask him to delete the previous girl living in Naija. I wanted to know if he was going on with the two of us with d hope 1 would click.

@Omolola
Thanks
@Mrs Chima
Thanks as per sex I dont have an issue with doing d rota I can afford naija trips 3rice a year for 3wks each and he says it's fine with him(maybe, maybe not). I'll search myself if I overcome d doubts fine if not I'll take a walk.

@Jaybee
I've already defended u

@Jaybee
Thanks
@Virus007
as per Jaybee recomending he was just joking he wont wish me the likes of Mr Cork Thanks.

@Victoks and Jaybee
Thanks for your advice would not have had a 2nd taught about if we were in same location or at least closeby.

@Jay Bee
Thanks I'm 30 but not desperate

@Jaybee
Well I know I'm not monitoring. What happened to some1 around me got me curious as I am settled in the UK and so is his ex I juat started thinking if it was coincidence or he wants out of naija. U cant blame coz of what has happened to others.

@Jaybee
I am not in a hurry at all and I'm taking my time and I would take my time well well. I just dont want to make mistakes others have made thats y I'm being skeptical.

@Jaybe
U got me laughing monitor ke not my kind of thing thats y my ex got away with so many things if its white and he says no its black I just take it since relationship was about trust.

@ Mrs Chima
U r right I taught I was sure but I wanted to be more sure as I've seen, heared and read about gd relationships(so we think) turn sour after the spouse gets his/her residence permit. I got curious as I am settled in the UK and so is his ex I juat started thinking if it was coincidence or he wants out of naija. U cant blame coz of what has happened to others.

@Nikkykay
Thanks the girl in question is abroad as well he has a previous ex on Fb who is in Naija and I'm not bother I believe she's his ex so I can very well stand d fact of being friends with ex it does not bother me. If I were to be in Naija I would not have taught about it. I singled her out bcoz she's abroad also and I wanted to be sure he was truely in love with me and not wanting an escape route out of Naija since his ex and current girlfriends are abroad. I wanted to be sure he his not keeping d 2 of us hoping 1 will click.

@victoks
He knows y I'm not picking his calls how do I know if he really cares about me when he cant do something like this as we r practising love across the ocean
@ Mrs Chima
I am not begging for his attention infact the attention is too much he bombards me with calls I just want to be sure if it's me he really wants or my passport
@Orton1_0
U r right I dont xpect him to hate her even if they r still friends I dont have a problem with it I'm just being skeptical about the fact that he's ex girlfriend is abroad and his current girlfriend is abroad as well I want to be sure he his not playing eyi je eyi o je meaning 1 will click eventually dats y I asked him to delete her

@desertboom
Yes I would have deleted it if I were in his shoes. He swears his not talking to her and they r enemies so y cant he delete her. He has a previous ex on his fb contacts who is in naija I did not ask him to delete her as he said they parted ways amicably no hard feelings.

@ Zim Drill
u may be right, u may be wrong he says he his not ok I've heared him but at least he should prove he's severed ties with the ex abroad abi like he makes me believe

@virus007
he says they do not get in touch and d way he could prove this to me is deleting her from his FB friends. I told him b4 I refused picking his calls that he should make a cgoice dat its either we keep on and he deletes her or I stop talking to him and after 8wks I made gd my threat. I f eventually he does not remove her I'll move on coz I'll believe he just wants an escape route out of naija and he's playing his cards with d 2 of us knowing 1 will click.

I met this guy I am dating 6 months ago and we started dating 3 months after. I met him during my vacation in Nigeria (I am UK based) he his my cousin's friend. After I got back to the UK we got talking he asked me out after sometime I agreed and d courtship began.

He told me about his ex girlfriend who is abroad also. He said they were always arguing and fighting blah blah blah so he called it quit with her but that the girl was still calling and mailing him apologising that she did everything she did because she wanted to know if he loved her geniuely or just wanted an escape route out of Naija. According to him he does not pick her call anymore and does not reply her mails. The girl got fustrated send him bitter sms and emails cursing him and all sorts.

The guy in question is a nice guy according to my cousin and for d past 3 months we've been talking he's been good. My cousin confirm's he's broken d relationship with his ex months b4 I even came to niaja and dat d ex keept calling him (my cousin) to beg him on her behalf and eventually insulted him and stoped calling him when he told her to let the guy be.

My dilema is this; the said ex is still his friend on facebook. I asked him to delete her since they parted ways bitterly and he said he would. For 8wks he did not I called him I did not believe he was still not talking to her and he swore blah blah blah dat he was not that my cousin could confirm and I said they probably made up behind my cousin. For 1wk I have not picked his call I told him to make a choice either delete her off his FB and we continue our relationship or he keeps her on his FB and dats all. He calls me a million times a day and I have refused to pick his calls he has sent a billion text messsages and emails saying he's got nothing to do with her but all in all he has not deleted her from his contacts.

I dont have a problem with pple being friends with their ex's but I am here he his there we only talk, email and do video call so I dont fully know what his up to. So how can I convince myself dat he's real like he sound's when he cant just delete some1 from his FB contacts

Could he have made up with her dating both of us with the intention dat 1 would click and he would be out of naija?
Am I just making a mountain out of a molehill?
Chaircover, Nutter, Sistawoman fellow nairalanders please advise.