₦airaland Forum

Suprnov3r:
Buhari the undertaker...

He has been trying to take the naira under since he came on board

NaijaMutant:
Say no more

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xynerise:
The future of Nigeria is scary

Kelklein:
[color=#CD1076]Awesome reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband.

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here.

I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

Dont Forget To Hit Like And Share[/color]

alphaconde:
This is exactly what has been going on.

A certain football club named NIGERIA FC once had a coach by name Goodluck Jonathan, during a particular season fans felt that the coach wasn't doing well with the club. They protested and management recruited another coach named M. Buhari. At this time M Buhari was seen as the best coach in the world, the fans and management of Nigeria Fc were elated and full of hope that the club would at least come up from bottom the league table. When Coach Goodluck Jonathan was leaving the club Nigeria FC was 11th on the league table that season. The new coach M Buhari told management he required to change the players and backroom staff of the club, management then gave Him approval, he recruited fresh players and staff.
Now Buhari after that season could not remain in the league, Nigeria FC was relegated. When he was questioned on the failure of the club he blamed it on Goodluck Jonathan the past coach.
Now ponder these question.
Was it possible that after coach Jonathan's exit he was still responsible for the woes the club suffered?
Even if the above question was true. Would it not be a simple achievement for Coach Buhari to have finished the season on at least 11th position where coach Jonathan Left it?
If the club performance continues in this form, doesn't the blame entirely rest on the new coach M Buhari?
Lastly if one was to compare this two coaches which was better?

mrsage:
I really need to know the recommended engine oil for Nissan Infinity FX 35. 2004 model.

I'm based in Lagos also need to know where i can buy it.

Experts in the house kindly assist.

Costee:
Hey, and get myself saddled with two V8 engines and two RE5R05A trannies
Seriously, watch it awhile for more definitive symptoms.

Costee:
A very strong possibility. Somehow, however, my own very limited personal experience of Jatco/Nissan trannies is that when the vehicle does not creep and there are no codes the issues are localised to the valve body, specifically a clogged line pressure solenoid valve. There are two sets of three solenoids that power the vb in Osama10's RE5R05A transmission. The first set: line pressure;torque converter; front brake. The second set: direct clutch;input clutch; high & low reverse clutch. Osama10 would have to be lucky to meet a trans specialist like you who would decide to attack the issue either from inside the trans case as you have suggested or from outside it as I'm inclined.

kingreign:
Check your brakes for binding. It could cause such. If your differential isn't having hyoid oil in it it could also cause similar issue accompanied with noise.

If you're in Abuja contact Mike 07034581213
Lagos contact Gazzuzz 08023251039
For inspection, diagnosis and fixing the issues.

Costee:
I don't know what you know You'll have to access it by opening up your centre console.

Costee:
Could be many things indeed. But you may proceed from the simple by checking the level and state of your atf, and the control rod under the shift lever for looseness.

Aromas:
Bros abeg no burst* my tommy with laff Including myself

radicalove:
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OmoBendel24:
Congratulations to you and your family!
Kindly unbleep the length of time you've been working at your place of work sir. Were you not asked about your salary or you forgot that? Thanks