₦airaland Forum

misano:
1. So are you saying, we in the SS are waiting for Wike's approval before knowing what we want? What kind of insult is this?

2. Stop making North & SW feel special. Goodluck in 2011 didn't win states in SW or even NE and NW before becoming president. Were you born yesterday?

This is not correct. Good luck Jonathan won all the states in the South West except Osun in 2011. Please let's be guided with factual information.

While I am not trying to brush aside the sad story of the woman, experience has taught me that you can't judge what's going on in a marriage from the outside.

Women have a powerful weapon of appearing to be a victim and making their husbands look like monsters.

If a man has been nice since when the relationship started, he would only change if something significant has happened.

If a marriage is becoming toxic, I will honestly encourage people to take a break. Marriage should be a beautiful thing and not emotional incarceration.

Morphinne:
Kid, when you grow older you will understand better. Nobody is saying it’s wrong to ‘dash’ your friend’s wife money but pretending to not be communicating with the said wife and the wife not wanting to pick your (the friend’s) call while talking to her husband is enough to unsettle any man. Could it be that she was afraid the friend might ‘misyarn’ if she had picked up the phone?
If I’m speaking with my wife on the phone and someone calls me on my second phone, I would pick up the call without necessarily asking her to end the call since I have no skeleton in my closet and if it’s about business, husband who has nothing to hide would pick up the call and put the phone on speaker just so she can hear the person’s voice (you can then end her call). Hope you understand now or you’re just after creating unnecessary argument

Thank you very much for your contribution. I have read every comment here dispassionately because I wanted broader views on what has happened.

While I understand that some people naturally always have a contrarian view of issues, the view would only become credible if it is intelligently constructed and presented.

I chose to ignore @Richy4 because he is deliberately trying to create a forced narrative of events that never happened just to present himself as the most intelligent person here. At a point, he threw a direct insult at me for not coming out to debunk an earlier claim we interchange monikers, meaning, we are the same person trying to keep the thread alive.

For the record, there was nowhere I said that I don't have my friend's number. I said that I don't have his wife's number because I don't interact with any of my friends' wives except when we go for family visits. Again, in his diabolical analysis, he had already made a conjecture that I wanted to discard my friend because I traveled abroad. The reality is that I won't open too much about my personality or situations around me just because you wanted to force a misleading narrative devoid of any intelligence.

No matter what, I will still say thank you for following the thread @Richy4

Mustiboy:
May our good intentions not be deemed as cynical.

What's the point of calling him a friend when he can't be nice to your family? That means you don't trust him.

What's the point of calling him a friend when he can't seek travelling help from you or even lend your money? Perhaps, you never meant well for him.

"This is someone who would wish to be in my current position economic wise..."

The above quote confirms my deduction that you never meant well for your friend and always wish that he comes begging you for crumbs.


In my opinion, he should be the one avoiding you and not the other way around.

I've always wished that all my friends and I attain success in life and lift each other. Seems that's not the case in your own world.

It is always easy to conjure any theory. You don't know the history of me and this friend. You obviously also don't know what I have done in the course of that friendship. When it comes to collective success, I am sure that this so-called friend would disagree with you except he wants to be hypocritical. He has a wife too and he knows quite well that I don't pass my boundaries. In fact, I don't have his wife's phone number

Richy4:
Funny enough I have only 2 genuine friends whom I don't even see as friends but brothers...we know our boundaries... We got each other's backs...
If I travel out and they call my wife to know how they are doing, I will not raise an eyebrow....

Again whom u married plays an important role too... If as a married man I can't trust my spouse, what are we doing in that relationship? Then we are as good as Flatmates..

It appears that you still don't understand my narration here. I am not saying that a friend should not call my wife or give them gifts. What's the business of my friend having the special number of my wife? What's the point in my friend having a private conversation as well as getting access to my family's classified information and still acting in pretence with me? What could make him transfer money to my wife and was hidden until I found out? Like I said before, if it has not started, there is a plan underway.

As for me, I don't engage in any private discussion with my friends' girlfriends let alone wives.

For any man that engages in private discussions with his friend's wife without his knowledge and to the point of sending money to her especially when the man is not around if nothing is happening at the moment, it clearly showed that he has got a plan. That was my conviction. These are the kind of people that will keep pretending to care for the woman because her husband is not around till they get in between their legs.

Funny enough, this was a guy that was owing me money and never talked about it again because I have traveled abroad.

Thank you for your contribution. I have only tried to shorten the story as much as possible. As of this moment, she is now with me in Europe. As someone also said above, she was never remorseful about the whole thing in fact, she never saw anything wrong in what she did.

Before I saw the fund transfer between them, I have been working on her traveling plans alongside the kids. When their visas were approved, I was still keeping the whole thing under wrap and was hoping to start telling people until they reach here or closer to their departure, I never knew that my wife had already told that my friend. Only for the guy to reach out to me to show him ways on how to travel and pretending as if he didn't know anything about the visas of my family.

From the way he was talking, he gave himself out until I found out that my wife had to him. It is one of the reasons why I ended my friendship with the guy as I don't consider him as a friend anymore. As for the wife too, I can't afford to close my two eyes while with her again. It is very obvious that I am dealing with a dangerous woman.

For this abroad, I am scared of having any significant investment to her knowledge because I am tired and wary of her. A marriage without trust is as good as dead.

Blunttruth:
You didn't overreact, there is something going on between them, the way you handle it will make her confess. Meanwhile, what is your plan for your wife, are you bringing her to join you? Do you intend to leave her here while you will getting your groove on over there and thinking money will keep her body and soul together?

Nairalanders,

Please I need you to help me have a third eye into a personal matter. Although, I have taken a position, I just wanted to be sure I never overreacted.

I am a guy based in Europe and my wife is in Nigeria. I have only been away for a year.

There was a day I was calling my wife on phone and her other phone was ringing which I asked her to pick up but she never did only to say that it was my friend calling her. I was surprised and asked her immediately how did my friend get know her other number. She gave some not-so-convincing explanation but I let it slide.

Curiously, when I returned to Nigeria, I discovered that this friend sent money to her and she never told me about it. The so called friend also didn't tell me anything. In fact, he has always acted as if he wasn't having any contact with my wife.

When I saw the transaction, my wife wanted to manipulate the situation to make it look like I was invading her privacy. I stood my ground to know what purpose the money was meant for but no reasonable explanation.

I called the friend too to know what the money was meant for but only retorted if he couldn't give my wife money as a friend. He couldn't offer any reasonable explanation. With high sense of modesty, this is a guy that would wish to be in my position economic wise and I have always been very generous to my wife when it comes to money. Therefore, financial lack could not be an excuse.

After this experience, I severe my friendship with the guy and rein in on my wife too. I felt that was not the kind of friendship any reasonable person should keep because I felt betrayed by his actions and inactions in relating with my wife behind me. I also see both of them (friend and wife) to be dangerous to my well-being.

Please I will like to know if I overreacted.

Thank you.

MOD please take it to front page for wider views and opinions