My sisters and brothers, una well done oh! The father will continue to strengthen our hands!

I have been reading this topic since inception. Yes, I have rejoiced in the BFPs and cried with the BFNs.

This is a testimony for everybody but especially @ believer84. God will wipe our tears amen!

I married at 24. This means I have been ttc for 9 years! I have never been pregnant. My first husband (yep been married twice) was my first lover. 2 years in and countless tests on me, he was advised to do a SA. He refused and called me barren. He listed all the girls he had impregnated over the years. Luckily for me, none was after our marriage. There was nothing I did not see or hear from him and my in-laws. Funnily enough my MIL was the only one on my side. He cheated on me and laid hands on me twice. The 2nd time, I left for my father's house. By then I was 30 and a divorcee. I have only one tube and ovary and it is blocked. I have tried everything under the sun some of which I am ashamed now to even recollect. ( Never cheated and never will) Believe me, I have been tempted to do anything just to get pregnant. Is it different MOGs? They have laid hands on me. Fasting, deliverance, all. I have been there.

I then relocated from Nigeria. I am married again to the most wonderful man ever. I sit and wonder most days, is he real? Why did I waste so much of my youth with my ex? We met when I was 31 and got married in Nigeria last year and the white this year. Before we started, I sat him down and explained everything and said I only want to do IVF once. After that, I'm adopting. He was fine with it and that was then I knew I would be foolish to let him go.. I was adviced by everybody not to marry him because he is an atheist and he does not hide it. I understand why even though I am a firm believer in God. He was molested as a child in catholic boarding school by a priest for 4 years!(from when he was 11 till he was 15) His parents did not believe him cos it was his word against that of a man of God. He lost his faith then. That priest has just been recently convicted of sex.ual acts against over 60 children. As someone, who has had to question her faith all the time and draw on energy reserves I never knew I had, I understand completely. People (friends and family) quoted the bible at me and said all sorts of things. Some even said it's better for me to be single! I still believe in God. I go to church and pray always. He prays with me because it is important to me even though he refuses to accept God exists. We are also married in church.

I am fine with it and it doesn't bother me. Since my family got to know him, it hasn't bothered them either and my father once referred to him as the godliest person he's ever met.

We are about to start IVF again and this will definitely be my last time. I am tired. He has encouraged me and even suggested egg donation and you know his reason why? He said "I know it's not just the baby that is important to you. It is the whole process, getting pregnant, experiencing and feeling it and having the baby at the end". He is right but like I said, I'm tired of being a pin cushion and the emotional roller coaster don do. I want want a baby to love and nurture.

In this ttc business, everyone has something to say sometimes even those who have gone through it which makes it even more painful. I left Nigeria because as far as people were concerned, I was not a good wife/woman. I couldn't give him children yet I won't let him gbadun . Friends deserted me - both single and married and worse of all, my younger sister got married and had 2 kids. I left for my sanity and I am glad I did.

Why am I telling you this? Nobody knows why he doesn't believe in God. I have not bothered to explain to anybody not even my family. It is not their business. His family don't know we are having issues ttc. It's not their business no matter how much they love me. I am his first G/F and lover and he still married me with all my baggage and history! I have not told my priest anything. I am a staunch catholic. It's not my priest's body or his marriage so his views concerning ttc matter little to me. We will do what works for us through God who strengthens us!

I still pray but I have stopped fasting and praying specifically for a baby. I have stopped answering altar calls for fruit of the womb. I have been called foolish for doing that as well. Since, I am not doing it to please anybody, I don't care what they say. I know I will hold my baby one day whether from my womb or another's, I shall have one to call me mummy and so shall every last one of us on this thread.

God bless us all and keep us and may his love continue to shine on us!

Now back to lurking...lol

OP, Good morning. My first advice to you is - Ignore anybody who says your husband is not man enough. We all do not have the same zeal and drive to achieve. It is not written in stone that the man should always earn more than the woman!

Please don't have anymore children, go see your nurse and get some form of contraceptive.

Have you thought of moving out of London? Accommodation and transport will be much cheaper. I know you don't want to spend more time away from your children but it might be helpful to get a Saturday job for extra pay. You say your husband is helpful around the house, use it to your advantage. Do you know how to make hair? I survived on that for the first 2 years I spent in the UK. He can look after the kids while you make hair and it'll be in your place so no need to pay transport. Let your husband pack in his job and do handy work since he's good at it. We just tiled our kitchen, just 2 walls and it cost us £350 for 2 days work. I will be tiling the bathroom this weekend myself!

A friend was in the same situation as you. Her husband is very laid back. They also have 5 children and earn just under £2500 between them until she decided to retrain and become a nurse. They also moved to the midlands. He's still in the same kind of job with rubbish pay but she's earning well and they are getting by. She said she will do anything to lift him as he is responsible for who she is today. She married at 20, he saw her through a degree and masters before they relocated to the UK. Even in Nigeria, he worked in the ministry so has always been that way. She has accepted him for who he is. She has the drive and ambition and that sustains them!

I pray your home will remain peaceful, happy and that there will always be a testimony on your lips!

Omo_Tier1:

Really that shldn't be any issue so long as your source of income in the UK is legitimate and the ECO doing his simple arithmatic from your earnings would able to deduce that it is possible you could save so much.

If I may add,avoid paying lump sums few days or a week or two before your intended submission date in February so the ECO does not mistake it as an attempt by you to boost the account.

As for your accommodation, (unlike in france where you would need local permission from council for people to stay over at your place,hence makes things easier for their ECOs) do help the ECO with enough information so He can verify it if he wants to.

Thanks my brother. I am planning to include the mortgage documents. Does the mortgage documents have to be originals? I am worried about them not returning it. Will bank statements be enough or do I need to include I and my partner's payslips? Do I need my own bank statements as well even though we are only using OH's saving account? It shows me making payments to him on a regular basis as that's our savings account.

Sorry for all the questions. I want to get this right the first time as the opportunity may never present itself again.

Thanks to both of you!

We live in a 5 bedroom house and they will be staying with me for 2 weeks and then heading back home. That was most concise thanks alot. I will definitely start on a breakdown of expenses now so I forget nothing.

I am hoping to put in the application at the beginning of February. The nigerian account is topped up from here but I don't do bank transfers cos of the charges. I usually send someone to pay money in if there's anybody going to 9ja. Hope that won't be a problem as I know they usually question bulk payments into an account.

Good evening.

First post after a very long while so please bear with me.

I am about to apply for a visiting visa for my family - father, brother, sister and nephew to attend my wedding in the UK. My sister is married with a son and works so will have payslips and employer letter but has no savings, my younger brother is still in school and will be returning to school (secondary), my father is retired, we (siblings) send him money monthly for his upkeep. He has a few properties and not much income from them.

I am planning to pay for them all - accommodation, transport and upkeep in the UK. I have N3m in my nigerian account which I am planning to use. I live with my husband to be and he will supporting the application with his bank statements. We have a savings account in his name and both pay money into it. There's about £6000 there. Will this be sufficient to cover their application or will they still need to show (especially my sister) savings?

Thanks for your help.

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some of the guys i know need only good food (plenty), a very humble and submissive woman and good sex