₦airaland Forum

Kcash200:
Hi guys,

I have a problem i have been dealing with since i was 12. I am from a large family and when i was 12, my mum told me my Dad is not my biological father and for me to make it a secret. I did not know what to do with such an information at that age but i knew it was wrong but i couldnt talk so i am not the one who destroys the family. Everyone lives in peace but i always wonder what will happen if only they know the truth. My biological father has other children and some of them know me that i am outside. He was involved in my life financially from 12years as far as i am aware of. He sent me money then and i kept quiet too and also supported me financially a couple of times though we have no personal relationship asides 2-3mins phone calls here and there and it is been like that for years.

I know my biological father and we kept in touch while i was in secondary school. Now that i am an adult now, i feel really sad about the whole thing and sometimes i even cry on my bed. I have been living in secret and a double life and fearing i might be outed one day. Some people in my mother's family are aware which is very strange and i find it shameful as a man now but i did not choose my fate. I have always tried to forget it and just leave my life but it is always just there especially when i think about starting my own family. I am striving hard for it not to define the way i see marriage and life as i am trying to write a different story for myself.

I grew up with my father who is not my biological father and i have been a good son to him as well and still taking care of him but it bothers that my whole life is a lie and it is hard knowing what i know and i can't say anything as that will scatter the family. I met some girls from a very good home who i can marry but i am scared if i tell her or other girls, that her parent will not let me marry her with that secret.

I am scared of getting married publicly as someone can take the news to my biological father as i do not intend to invite him as my biological father but i always feel heavy anytime i think about it. I want to start a new life for myself but i don't know how to handle this. I do not plan to tell my father as he is getting old and this can kill him at his old age as he has been through a lot in life. He is finally enjoying and i am taking care of him very well and he prays for me all the time.

I am building a good life for myself as a professional and have a lot of girls around me but i don't know what to do. Should i keep quiet and tell the girl i marry after marriage ? Isn't that me building my marriage on deceit. It is a shameful thing to talk about if you look at it.

Sometimes, i feel like they caused me trauma putting me in this position but i am an adult now and will bear responsibility for how i live my life and cant continue to blame any trauma or anyone. I am the one who has to keep quiet for peace to reign in the family.

I don't want to wait too long just incase it is a dealbreaker for someone but i also don't want to be disclosing to anyone.

Aside from marriage, i still do not know what to do with that information.

In as much as I'm aware that this is not the time to blame anyone in particular but they're 2 persons I will definitely blame in this whole situation. No 1 person is your mom. Why did I say so? She's not a good role model as a mother. She did a very wrong thing, firstly to your dad and secondly to you--she's been deceiving your dad by not letting him know the truth. And she's equally not a good mother to you by revealing such a sensitive information to you at such age. You were too tender to handle such information. But thanks be to God who gave you the capacity to manage it and still become a responsible fellow--based on your write-up.

Please, stop collecting any gifts from that man, you did that when you were naive but now you're an adult with a balanced sense of judgment, don't go any further reinforcing evil. He's an evil man who decided to commit adultery with another man's wife. I want you to know that traditionally that man isn't your father because he never paid your mother's bride price. It is the man that raised you that legally married your mom and him you should equally recognize as your dad. Don't even consider that evil man because of his useless gifts--collecting gifts from him means approving him as your dad and equally condoning his wrong behavior. A man that decided to have an affair with another man's wife under any guise isn't a good man--and you should dessociate yourself from him.

Kelle443:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWLBTRUslvE?si=VYR_qMwZxBmPNInl



https://m.lindaikejisblog.com/2025/11/he-suffered-palpitation-three-days-before-his-de-at-th-and-was-on-bp-medication-which-he-did-not-take-on-sunday-actor-recounts-last-hours-with-nollywood-actor-odira-nwobu-before-his-sudden-demise-in-south-africa.html

Inexperience and childish friends. Mingle with reasonable friends.

helinues:
USA and their government should shut up.

They can never tell us what to do in Nigeria

Arant nonsense

Every significant personality in Nigeria is very careful about what they say at this trying time.But the insignificant are free to open their mouth wide, sha, after all, nobody knows them--in other words they're inconsequential with their opinions.

chiagozien:
Whahala dey for terrorists in Nigeria

.

PlutoChief:
Which justice you dey find madam?

What if she died in your own house?

Abeg next topic.

It's always easy to identify supporters of evil by their utterances. No sympathy. Evil people everywhere.

Toruibestate:
I remember during my days in the University (Niger Delta University) my lecturer who doubles as my cousin told the class that to him life seems meaningless.
We live, give birth and die, and the circle continues.


That it doesn't have meaning.

Anybody that have contrary view to his thinking should speak up on it.




@General Ditari.

Life here on earth is just a trial version of the real life. So just like every other trail versions it's usually very brief, as a result, you can only enjoy it for a very short period of time. It's just a little test of the real thing.

So, now, if you really want to subscribe for the full package, that means you need to submit this present one to the creator of the trail version that you are currently using before it gets exhausted. And this can only be possible with Jesus. A failure to do this, will bring about an eternal disconnection from your maker.

The reason is that life is the only software on which human beings run. So during our brief moments on earth God gives us the opportunity to use the trail version free of charge. So if you need the full package you must pay the premium that the developer places on it. Simple! The Word of God is there to guide you if you want to know how go about it

In conclusion, the meaning of life can only be experienced when you get the full package and not in the trail version as we currently have it.

Afonja defending a developer—haha, u no serious at all.