₦airaland Forum

Ensure to use your undies once .....change everyday.


That thing is just irritations......use antibiotics and be clean.

UjuJoan2:
But that’s where you are getting it wrong. Your duty is to provide, while the woman’s duty is to manage the home. at least that’s what we were all raised to believe, and therefore the reason why men leave all house chores for women to handle.

So if you are walking out, do it because she doesn’t Cook or clean or take care of take care of the kids, not because of money. That one is your duty.

No man sees cooking or cleaning as his job, and if he does it he assumes he’s “helping” his wife. You guys made the rules, our parents stuck to it and had long healthy marriage. Now you are crying foul because you don’t want to provide again. And we understand because the economy is hard and you cannot always predict how things may go financially for you. But make no mistake about it, you are doing your duty when you provide, not a favour.

So now we are back to duties .......wife no more been slaves cooking etc.

You are very good at shifting goal post......this isnt 1980's were men leave house duties to women.

You sound ridiculous whenever you make look like men don't do anything in the house apart from providing.....is cooking and cleaning the only duties in the house ??

Who wanted gender equality...day dan break now eye dan clear we should follow our parents pattern of marriage.....lol

The difference what we tolerate you women can't tolerate have of it and is becos if we complain people will see us less a man.

We men go through alot in marriage.....do you know how men are out there despite providing there wife dont still cook for them?
Once they make a demand and you don't meet it next thing is to weaponise sex and not cooking.
Y'all always think every women is a saint....until it happens to your sons or male relatives.

Once again she is free to walk out of the marriage no need for too much talk.

1Sharon:
You didn't read where he intentionally resigned from his job? He intentionally made himself jobless. Not the same as losing your job

She should file for divorce........no need for too much talk.

UjuJoan2:
Only women who make themselves victims are really victims. Women who stand up for themselves are wicked, evil and disrespectful. This life no balance!

Back your stand up with actions........feel free to walk out of marriages with jobless men and men too should start doing same.
Let see who loses more.....is that easy


You don't want us to have conversation who is the real lazy,deathbeat and jobless between the two gender in marriage.

UjuJoan2:
No need to get defensive, I was speaking generally, not necessarily referring to you.

But if the shoe fits . . . .

Defensive....lol

Once again.........it always the men fault.

No be today.

UjuJoan2:
If you story is true then support your actions. A lot of women marry for money because they think it’s the only way to endure a marriage. When the money is no longer there, they have nothing to console them in the marriage anymore.

Personally I don’t mind contributing money for the family upkeep, even upto 50%. I also don’t mind picking up all the bills when the man is down financially.

But I will not do it for a man that has treated me badly or held his financial superiority over me like a weapon. Also, I will not do it for a man that doesn’t help with house work because “he provides”. If you think chores are a woman’s responsibility, then you need to pay the bills yourself , because a woman cannot do both!

Once again I agree........I treat her badly by providing food,shelter,setting up a business for her,paying house bills,accommodating her 2 siblings for 2yrs etc.

I don't do anything in the house I just wake up
She brush my teeth, she wash my ass after using the toilet, dress me up, spoon feed me and I go out.....when I come back she does same everyday....lol

Am a lazy log of wood that does absolutely nothing in the house apart from providing money.

UjuJoan2:
This is what every man claims, but they never say the true story. You men are the ones that make yourselves into Gods just because you provide money. You treat your wives as slaves and act with no accountability. So a woman is trained to accept such behavior from a man as long as he provides for her.


And then, God will decide to punish you small by taking away your advantage . . . 🤣

You are right............I only provide money and treat my wife like a slave.
Infact when I use the rest room I call.her to come clean my ass.....lol.

Like I always say ***you women are always the victim**

cococandy:
That’s your assumption

No is a fact.

She can't tell me the man haven't dropped a kobo or contributed to the house in 3yrs.

If she said what he is dropping isn't enough and she the one dropping the lion share that fine but saying she the one paying all the bills for 3yrs is a big lie.

You women do this alot and is annoying.........she just thrash talk and entirely cancel the man but yiu be surprised to hear is the man paying rent and school fees.

cococandy:
. How will things turn around if he’s not making efforts? This is not the same situation as someone who’s trying but it’s not working out.
This is someone who has refused to try.

Unless he’s going to defraud someone or miraculously win the lotto, things are not going to turn around for him.

I need y’all to be realistic. Real Life is not Nollywood magic

Lol..............have told her she is very free to work away since isnt nollywood.

If for 3yrs the man hasn't drop a kobo or contributed anything to the house like she is painting let her divorce.

Most women lie alot in this scenario

gebest:
The fact remains that most Yorubas does not really value marriage.

Yet most igbo celebrities are divorcing every 2 market days.

People that only see other tribe probs but blind to there own ...lol.

Magicalsineros:
See someone's husband. An enemy in disguise

She will gladly choose this enemy in her next life.

When you get married someday you will understand till then your opinion is just comic relief.

Magicalsineros:
Lol. If she discovered the kind of man she's married too. She will feel sorry for herself.

Ehya .....if you have a man that married you, feeds you,put a roof over your head,set up a business for you,accommodate your 2 siblings for 2yrs...i guess you will feel sorry for yourself marrying him.

Lol

Magicalsineros:
You're excited when faceless people even call her name. God.
I feel sorry for the kind of man she got married to.

See emotional blackmail..........

Don't worry I will get them locked up or break there head.....Hope that fine by you.

She is married.......are you married

Ouchbabe:
20% love for your wife, that's way too small naa. Who come get the remaining 80%

My two babies oooo.

That what I labour on.

advanceDNA:
A truly kind person will help even those she doesn't know repeatedly....let alone her own husband that has been caring for her before job loss....

I have seen women help their husband during trying times without any noise...na the guy even come talk am by himself say na the wife dey do this and that...yes they are not common..and It's not mere love..its a team playing mentality rooted in kindness



This ur woman don give u PTSD......


Baba....U go dey alright...

PTSD....LOL...... you are just cooking things up in your head.
She is even beside me as I type.

What Op is doing isn't a bad thing............is just the thrash talking am against.

Isnt only lack finance that makes one complain in marriage, there are several aspects of marriage.


Once again until you are married you won't understand.

Magicalsineros:
But for someone to come on a public forum to pour her heart, it shows she's been wearing a hurtful shoe for a long time and probably tired

Babe is normal to be hurtful and tired......Marriage isn't a sprint but a marathon.

What am saying is if she can't take it anymore she can walk out if he is a lazy man and see if single parenting is easy.

The choice is all hers to make.....complaining and thrash talking him isn't the solution.


There more lazy women then men but you won't see us actually complain about that

advanceDNA:
I never mentioned love...don't know why u mentioned it....
Na the few u go look out for....kindness is a trait...u cannot consistently fake it.....it's either u have it or u dont....

So cos someone is kind that would stop them from complaining or thrash talk you??

Would her Kindness make her stay when you down financially and not complain /nagg your soul out??

Kindness self get limit.....never forget that

Magicalsineros:
Now, I know where the bitterness is coming from.
You're actually transferring the sentiment you have for your wife on the @op. Too bad.

Why don't you divorce your wife? What's the point of holding on when you're still hurting?

Bitterness........lol

Once again only unintelligent people believe one side of a story without asking questions.


I didn't open threads to complain about my wife cos am not hurt and will never be hurt.
Till we die people we love will always hurt us and that a fact.

For the past 3yrs the man nevee dropped a single kobo or not contributed to the house upkeep?? She should tell me that true.


This isn't sentiment but just stating fact..........whatever you women lack is your husband fault is a shitty mentality.

advanceDNA:
Pele.....u don see the other side of life ooo

..some women and men too..so make i nor dey one sided, are not fit for marriage but too bad that men have made big yansh and bréast the criteria for marriage

.....for me oo...it's necessary to consciously lookout for kindness in a woman during dating stage....it always shows unless u are not observant..

Woman wey una dey date wey no dey ever buy anything when she dey come ur side for visit..always collect uber money when going and coming....haa

..woman wey u go tell make she buy 5k things on her way to spend weekend ..wey go dey ask u for the money before una go sleep on the first day she arrive, and even after i help am fix her iphone X screen wey break the following week

Babe wey come my side before I close for office...call me say no light...I say make she buy fuel, werey by 3k fuel, nearly use am watch Africa magic and zee world finish, still dey ask me for ordinary 3k.....

The signs are always there when dealing with these women....a kind woman who is a team player from start will not treat her own partner like trash just because things no level up for some period



when dating most of them marry with mind set of not doing anything and also compare their life to other women their husband is very rich...

Small team playing spirit no dey their body....

I don't think you are married ?? Hence you don't know how bad people can pretend.

One thing have learnt over time is people change and you can't truly know what you can do until you find yourself in some certain situations.

Women are naturally stingy and not natural givers....they see there giving as an investment.

Whatever she giving or doing during dating stage is an investment to her.........relationship and marriage is two different ball game.
Most women change mostly in marriage after having the first child and most bad behavior show when the man is down.

It is just a mindset.......they just feel whatever they lack is there husband fault and the society supports them.
Only few see things differently.


Lastly in every relationship that leads to marriage there is always hidden motives.......Love is never the only reason.

bukatyne:
What was the dynamics of the marriage when you had money?

Was there strict gender roles I.e. you provide while she is in charge of the home front?

What is the normal dynamic in almost all Nigeria marriage?? Men should be the breadwinner and provider...if he fails to do that he useless and lazy.
That the dynamic of marriage in Nigeria/Africa

Y"all call us broke and lazy still yet 95% of home men are still one the providing.

You women are naturally stingy and whatever you spend you expend ×2 in return.


Strict gender roles .........I clean my house, I wash dishes and do laundries.
Y"all just try to find excuses to justify your Bleep up

Magicalsineros:
But her write up is so clear that anyone can read and understand. Stop making her feel she's the one at fault. Many of you use your personal life and personal behavior to judge other people in public. That's wrong.

Well am too grown to know people lie and write to favor themselves.

There are three side to a story......only intelligent people know that.


Na today.

Wawelexy:
I can relate bro, the annoying part is, people tends to believe them so fast without running a background check on their claims about the broke husband.

Like they make it look like the man is just a log of wood during those period doing nothing and not dropping a single kobo.

That 2022 I paid the house rent and was still dropping whatever I see but due to the fact she was the one dropping the lion share.....I was lazy and not ready to work.

She started telling people she was tired and complaining like this.......Men I went through depression.

This was a woman i married jobless and can't even boost of 100k in her account then.
The business she runs i set it up for her.

Things change last year and table has turned......now that same woman now expects me to give her money freely and help her family members....lol

She herself no the love I have for her is now 20% and she always blaming the devil for her behaviors but for me I can only labor on my kids.

Lovecode89:
I didn't say he was providing. Read it again please

Since we got married 3years ago, I have been the only one providing. I have been encouraging and supporting him to get a job, but all to no avail. He keep saying things will get better, but he's not working on anything

So you want to tell us.....since he resigned you are the one paying house rent and all.

He hasn't drop single kobo since then or contributed anything to the house??

There is big difference between what he providing isn't enough and he isn't providing at all....clarify

Wawelexy:
Ol*sho don drop quote....


Someone that have been providing for 3 solid years will suddenly resign cos the wife is Alakija or what? The way you people just jump into conclusion on a one sided story really amaze me.

Bro I was a victim of this situation myself in 2022.....my business went bad and I was on a low.

My wife was carrying the house and that experience made me realize we men are just useless without money to be people we labor for.

Magicalsineros:
One step at a time. The way you handle today determine what you have tomorrow. How can any sane husband and father stay lazy hoping for a better tomorrow? I have seen plenty poor people, who were broke and lazy since I was a child and till today, they're still poor.
So, stop caging women with that '' better Tommorow'' nonse.nse

He was poor and lazy yet he married her....lol

He was lazy and poor........he was working before marrying her....he had shelter, he was paying his bills and was taking care of himself.

He was the poor and lazy one while the wife is the rich and hardworking one....lol

They are always the victim.


It very simple and easy......she should divorce him.

Anyway we ain't this for the first time.........women will always be women.
A man takes care of the house bills for years just few months of not been able to the whole world see him as useless cos the wife will trash talk him.

There are good women and only few men are lucky to have them.

I have experience this first hand and I know how it feels but I thank God today am back on my feet and she now knows her place.

You will labor,feed,house someone for years all the name of marriage and just few months you ain't able to pay bills then you are called lazy and useless.
Same person will now expect you to keep spending on her after you bounce back.....lol


Marriage isn't by force , you free to divorce and leave for a better man.

Magicalsineros:
She has not.

Depriving him is the list thing she's doing now. She's depriving herself too. Love and good see.x is a wonderful experience. Everyone deserve to feel it

And If things turn around good tomorrow for him??

The way women paint there husband in scenarios like this you just wish you can hear the man side of the story.

LadyExcellency:
The Nigerian Military cannot fight Aba simple and short.

You all said the same thing if cownu was touched...how many years in detention??...lol


Chest beating yi sha ni.